Rented by: Harry Potter
Co-signer: Betsy Halvorsen
Unlike Harry Potter, who is extraordinary, Harry’s apartment is pretty regular. Since he left Hogwarts he’s been trying to stay out of the limelight. It’s a choice. He didn’t peak at 17. And no, he’s not sensitive about people suggesting that perhaps, he did. He’s also not sorry about dropping out. You show him someone who had any doors open because of their Regents diploma in wizardry. He’s going to get his GED, he just lost the paper with the instructions on how to sign up.
To some, Harry’s apartment may resemble Gryffindor’s common room, but he’s the first to assure you it is actually totally different. For starters, he has a new roommate, Rico. There was no Rico at Hogwarts. Not that Harry’d know. He barely even remembers high school.
Harry loves to show off his repurposed dining room table. Some claim it was part of the sorting ritual at Hogwarts, but Harry maintains it old barn wood. Harry’s apartment also has very unique torch accent lights which may or may not be up to Dino Drac Luxury apartment code, so don’t tell the Super.
The walls of Harry’s apartment are adorned with drawings and photos of Dumbledore. Harry may insist the man is actually his Grandpa Phil, but Rico knows the truth.
When Harry’s not dusting the frames of his Dumbledore picture collage, he may be found hanging out with his owl, Hedwig. She’ll never leave him.
Harry also likes to spend his time going over important papers that most certainly are not the Marauder’s Map from Hogwarts in an effort to see where all his friends have gone. He’d like to start one reading some of the books in his stacks and stacks of self-help books but it’s just too tasking a challenge to decide which one. He wants to know the secret, but he’s equally interested in how to have kick-ass ideas. You understand, it’s like a mental Chinese finger trap.
Harry looks forward to watching Arrested Development. He always looked at it as a pick me up, but then he realized that even though the Bluth’s have a crummy life, at least they have the frozen banana stand. Harry would kill for a frozen banana stand.
At the end of the day, the only thing that brings him joy is knowing that he stole the Sorting Hat, bitches.