Dinosaur Dracula!

Full Archives

You have some reading to do. Below are most of the blog archives. Certain categories are excluded to keep things tidier. There’s even more junk on the Features Page, too!
 

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    The five best CHUCKY items on eBay.

    Hi, I’m Matt. Child’s Play fan. I was a late bloomer with horror, but Chucky was an exception. From Day One, I was on his side. Of the right age to clearly recognize him as a riff on Hasbro’s My Buddy dolls, I stupidly assumed that the Child’s Play franchise was at least partially targetedRead More

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    Flea Market Finds.

    I took a break from the yard sales this week, wanting to try my luck at a flea market at least once before summer was over. I begged Jay to tag along so I wouldn’t have to haggle alone, and off we went to Englishtown, New Jersey. I’ve written about the Englishtown flea market before.Read More

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    The Ultimate ’80s Sticker Album.

    I now possess what I’m calling The Ultimate ‘80s Sticker Album. …but the truth is, it isn’t. Don’t get me wrong; as you’re about to see, it’s crazy awesome. But to say it’s the “ultimate” ‘80s sticker album is kind of fudging things. The real appeal of this book is how it… Read More

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    Dinosaur Dracula loves Dinosaurs Attack!

    I’ve been dancing around this subject for years, referencing it in throwaway paragraphs that have done little to capture its supreme mega greatness. Today, finally, I’m going to give Dinosaurs Attack cards everything they’re owed. Dinosaurs Attack (formally styled with an exclamation point, bu… Read More

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    Dino Drac Funpacks are back! (UPDATED!)

    NOTE: Thank you tons for all of the orders! I finally added a shot of a “complete” sample Funpack below, and also updated the FAQ! Dino Drac Funpacks are back! And this time, here to stay. At least for the foreseeable future. Here’s the deal. I’m coming into that stretch of the year … Read More

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    Yard Sailin’, Volume IV.

    So after a month’s worth of pleasant experiences, I was finally reminded of why I stopped going to yard sales to begin with. I did find some nice things, but between the sellers and the buyers, every stop brought five new annoyances. Sellers were the big problem. I lost interest in yard sales when… Read More

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    Five Random Action Figures, Part 6!

    Jeez, it’s been over a year since the last edition of Five Random Action Figures? On it, chief. Here are five more toys plucked from my shelves and bins. Some of them hold deep, personal meaning for me. Others are just cool killer robots. Slimer The Real Ghostbusters, 1986 While I’d argue that S… Read More

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    The return of sooo many Kool-Aid flavors!

    And the hits just keep on comin’! Last November, my ears perked up during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade broadcast. As a giant Kool-Aid Man rolled down 34th Street, one of the hosts casually announced some of upcoming flavors for 2014. Among them was SHARKLEBERRY FIN. The host didn’t know … Read More

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    The Ninja Turtles invade Pizza Hut!

    Wackadoo promotions for the new Ninja Turtles movie are all over the place, and I couldn’t be happier about that. I know a lot of folks are feeling “cautious” about Michael Bay’s take, but whatever. A movie you don’t like is just a movie you don’t like, and it needn’t spoil the parts o… Read More

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    Yard Sailin’, Volume III.

    Another weekend spent shamelessly rummaging through strangers’ trash! We only went to a few yard sales this weekend, owing to a late start and temperatures that could melt steel. Even so, my luck held. This is the third time in a row that I found dusty gold on foreign front lawns. Side story: A ya… Read More

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    OMFG, CHOCODILES HAVE RETURNED.

    Oh. Oh my. This. Words. Fireworks. Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you’re sitting down. Hostess Chocodiles… HAVE RETURNED. I’ve been staring at this mostly-blank screen for five minutes, unable to come up with sentences worthy of delivering such news. Maybe there aren’t any. Maybe I should’ve… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #21: Wrecking Power!

    On today’s edition of Vintage Vending, you will bow before the mighty power of a glow-in-the-dark sticky fist. Truth. The “Wrecking Power” collection arrived in the early ‘90s, and while it isn’t as showy as many of the sets previously featured on Dino Drac, I think I’m in love with it. … Read More

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    Rediscovering Life Savers Holes!

    Today I pay tribute to Life Savers Holes. Tomorrow, I vacuum the upholstery in my car. Life Savers Holes! They came, they saw, and while I was convinced that they’d conquered, the fact that they no longer exist suggests otherwise. The world at large was not ready to accept the supposed leftovers … Read More

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    Ten Things I Saw in Wildwood, NJ.

    This was a very short trip, so I can’t give you a full blow-by-blow on everything Wildwood has to offer. Even so, it seems I took just enough pictures and saw just enough interesting things to spend the next four hours writing loving tributes to dark rides and cereal-infused ice cream sundaes.… Read More

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    More Yard Sale Scores.

    After my success at last week’s yard sales, I wondered if lightning would strike twice. It did! The gods of trash blessed me even harder this time, with cheap, geeky goods that I might have expected to find at yard sales 15-20 years ago. Much of this week’s haul came from a multi-family sale tha… Read More

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    Yard Sailin’ for Fun and Profit.

    We went yard sailin’ on Saturday morning, and I think I hit the jackpot. (No, that’s not the jackpot.) I don’t go to yard sales as often as I did before everyone turned into a wannabe antique dealer. These days, you can barely buy paper plates without hearing about how they’re VERY VALUA… Read More

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    Summer Berry Pebbles Cereal!

    “It’s the first day of summer” is both the truth and the opening line to my debut rap single, I Can’t Stand To Sit. I thought we’d celebrate the shift in seasons with the most summery thing imaginable: Bamm-Bamm Rubble beating the shit out of cereal. New from Post, it’s Pebbles Cereal in… Read More

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    Little Debbie’s Sea Life Snacks!

    Guys. We need to have a serious discussion about Little Debbie. No stranger to seasonally-shaped snacks, Little Debbie had something special in mind for the 2014 summer season: Cookies and cakes based on sea animals. It’d be one thing if she picked sharks and dolphins, but Debbie went with jelly… Read More

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    Ecto Cooler spotted in movies and TV!

    The weekend marks the 30th anniversary of Ghostbusters. Let’s celebrate with Ecto Cooler! Yeah, Hi-C Ecto Cooler, something I’ve written about four thousand times before, but never from this angle. Some friends tipped me off about extremely implausible yet entirely provable Ecto Cooler sightings… Read More

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    Marino’s Italian Ice is good shit.

    I’d like to remind everyone that Marino’s Italian Ice is the best possible ice. Never heard of Marino’s? I’m pretty sure most of you haven’t. It’s regional. Apologies in advance for championing a water ice that you have absolutely no access to. I was first introduced to … Read More

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    Vintage Vending #20: Sea World!

    It’s been over two months since my last post, because stuff happens, and we must sometimes accept that life is a big ball of shit aimed directly at our heads. But I didn’t want to let Memorial Day — my 16th favorite holiday — slide by without some Dino Drac action. So here’s someth… Read More

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    Five Great Old Cereals.

    I own many ancient cereal boxes. Most of them live in plastic bins on a high shelf, trapped in cramped quarters with nothing to do except barely breathe. I believe it was the Dino Pebbles, or maybe the Smurfberry Crunch, that contacted me telepathically. “Brother, we need air.”… Read More

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    eBay’s Mixed Lots = Works of Art.

    I started searching for mixed lots years ago, when it was still common to find good deals on eBay. Generally speaking, mixed lots go hand in hand with sellers who have no clue what they have. When you catch something desirable in the spread, it's rarely mentioned in the auction title or description.… Read More

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    Ninja Turtles Cereal from Dimension X.

    Made by Nabisco in 1991, it’s like the cereal we grew up with, but from an alternate universe. So much is different, and yet, so much is the same. Compare this with the other box, and you’ll notice how the four Turtles are basically in the same positions, and are sort of making the exact same fa… Read More

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    Stuff I found at Monster-Mania 27.

    On Friday, we found ourselves back on the familiar floors of Cherry Hill’s Crowne Plaza, ready to drink through the latest Monster-Mania convention. This was the 27th Monster-Mania. The first one I went to was only their third ever. Almost ten years later, and I still get a kick out it. I don’t … Read More

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    Free Stuff For Kids, from 1992!

    Remember those book club flyers that we used to get in elementary school? I lived for those. Dinosaur books with ten words and fifty pictures! Sticker sheets starring ballerina bears that shouted various encouragements via word balloons! The errant Garfield bookmark! Most of the time, the things I b… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #19: TMNT Balloons!

    It’s been over four months since the last edition of Vintage Vending. Let’s fix that. HERE ARE BALLOONS. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles balloons, even! This is from 1989, when literally everything branded with a Ninja Turtles logo was a must-buy. Though the teaser card lacks a sample, we can assum… Read More

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    5 Misfit Toys, from the Flea Market.

    Saturday was spent at the Englishtown flea market with Ms. X and Jay. We three marveled at old records, cajun peanuts, and what I swear was a lipstick-wearing John Cena, immortalized on an unlicensed throw blanket that was large enough to double as a circus tent. The highlight — if you don’t… Read More

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    Six Popsicles from the Year 2000.

    I’ve been absent for a while, busy with work, and even busier navigating the mountains of snow on the way to work. 2014 wasted no time in turning me into someone who thinks winter should be illegal. I picture a snowman on the witness stand, melting under the stress of hard questions. Unrelated to … Read More

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    SpongeBob SquarePants Kid Cuisine!

    Like I was going to pass up a SpongeBob-shaped chicken nugget. Two things I hadn’t thought about in a while: SpongeBob and Kid Cuisine. Renewed awareness could have only come from mixing the two together. I can’t remember the last time Kid Cuisine did something so heavily thematic, and I’m kin… Read More

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    I bought dinner from Master Wok.

    I’m not sure if Master Wok is part of a chain. Google reveals thirty thousand restaurants using the same name, but the logos are pretty inconsistent. I wouldn’t presume that the “Tony’s Pizza” in Philly is run by the same guy who owns the “Tony’s Pizza” three blocks away. I should ex… Read More

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    Five drinks that should not be in my fridge.

    Refrigerators are private places. Intimate places. It’s hard to let strangers peek inside. I don’t want to be judged. I don’t want people to see Tupperwares full of sludge, and forever associate me with Tupperwares full of sludge. I don’t want people to know how much I like Laughing Cow … Read More

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    Deadsites: Hot Topic, Circa 1998!

    That was the store for “posers,” or so the laws written by the weirdos higher up on the food chain dictated. What an idiotic protest. As if buying the same goofy shit from other stores made us any better? I think we were just mad that a shopping mall chain pegged us so accurately.… Read More

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    The Toys in Adam Goldberg’s Bedroom!

    If you’re anywhere near my age, there's no way that you didn’t have a few of the things seen in Adam’s bedroom. No chance, no how. It was like the showroom version of the 1987 Sears Wish Book. I don’t know if they borrowed some super-collector’s stuff or actually hunted everything down on … Read More

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    Another batch of old comic book ads!

    It’s been a long time since Dino Drac’s last Comic Book Ads review, and even longer since I dived into my specific favorite type of them: The tiny-sized ads that were all mashed together on the classifieds pages. That’s where the real treasures were! Fifty antique coins for a dollar! Legitima… Read More

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    Ecto Cooler Twinkies?!

    Was there such a thing as Ecto Cooler Twinkies? Well, NO, but bear with me. Old news: Ecto Cooler was the Slimer-fronted Hi-C flavor, made to capitalize on the popularity of The Real Ghostbusters. The flavor overachieved, and Slimer seemed to remain on those boxes even after his superstar status di… Read More

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    The Best 99 Cent Store EVER.

    We spent New Year’s Eve in Atlantic City, with The Sexy Armpit’s Jay and his girlfriend Corinne. All I really remember is punching balloons and getting my ass handed to me at three card poker. And walking past some guy that I swore was Johnny Torrio from Boardwalk Empire, even if, in my heart, I… Read More

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    Toys I owned on 5/27/98.

    Back in 1998, I was definitely a collector. I’d been a collector for years by then, but you know how it is when you’re a careless kid and everything else goes to shit. You focus on your happy hobbies and pretend it’s okay to ignore everything else. In 1998, I was in DEEP.… Read More

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    29 real world toys in Jingle All the Way!

    I know Christmas is over and we’re all ready to move on, but if you’ll forgive me this one last at-bat, I think you’ll agree that I had a good reason. If you’re smart, you watched Jingle All the Way at least once before Christmas. Arnold Schwarzenegger battling Sinbad for 1996′s hottes… Read More

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    Christmas Fallout, 2013.

    Christmas Eve was spent with my family; Christmas with Ms. X’s. When we got home last night, I professed my desire to continue partying, just moments before falling unconscious for a literal half-day. When I woke up this morning, it was with the knowledge that Campari, eggnog and Patron should nev… Read More

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    Merry Christmas, from Dinosaur Dracula!

    Today was nuts. We made a hundred stuffed mushrooms, and when I say “a hundred,” I don’t mean “a pile that looked like a hundred but was actually thirty.” I mean a literal HUNDRED stuffed mushrooms. I haven't chopped that much parsley since I needed hair for my life-sized edible Joker.… Read More

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    Video: Sugar Cookie Pebbles Cereal!

    The 2013 Christmas season hasn’t been especially hot for weird food, but if you look hard enough, there are a few big time players. Like this one, for example. Post’s Pebbles cereal with a limited edition SUGAR COOKIE flavor. It looks good, it tastes good, and the box features Dino wearing Grinc… Read More

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    Freezy Freakies: Gloves of Glory.

    Freezy Freakies. The one time I had any opinion at all about gloves. Made by Swany, they were decorated with everything ‘80s kids cared about, like robots and jets, and cute little animals. On that merit alone, they were destined for big things. 99% of gloves were boring, and if a child had to pic… Read More

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    Christmas, 1988. A Photo Journey.

    Christmas Eve, 1988. I was nine years old. Our whole giant family spent most of the day in the dining room, like we always did on Christmas Eve. Actually, it wasn’t just the dining room. That dining room wouldn’t have fit even half of us. Instead, our regular table was joined by two folding tabl… Read More

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    Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 2!

    I’ve been absent for a few days, because, as it turns out, December just isn’t my month! Still, nothing can pull me out of a forced funk faster than a Friday the 13th happening during Christmastime. Thank you, Jason and Santa. Now my world is rosy again. Here’s another batch of Classic Christm… Read More

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    I don’t waste snowstorms.

    Take this house, for example. The lights were obviously handled by Professional Light People. This is the kind of family that makes you take your shoes off first. I imagine it being co-run by an aggressive power couple. I don’t think they have children, nor do I believe them to be hardcore Christm… Read More

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    McDonald’s Holiday Pie!

    I’d never tried one before, but I’ve been hearing about them for years. Apparently, Holiday Pies were discontinued at one point, or at least released in fewer states. Google searches will reveal a LOT of hysteria surrounding these pies.… Read More

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    Sprite Cranberry Soda Review.

    Uh oh – it looks like a new CRANBERRY SODA has entertered the arena! I’m leaving “entered” misspelled because this was already a shitty opener. There it is. Sprite Cranberry. Joining mainstays like Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash and Cranberry Canada Dry, Sprite Cranberry’s arrival involves a… Read More

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    My 1993 Christmas Tiki Hut.

    Hot damn, I finally found it. Photographic evidence of that weird thing I did back in junior high. For several years, I used our family’s Christmas Eve party as an excuse to throw my own. Guests were encouraged away from the dinner table and into my bedroom, for a look at what I called THE CHRISTM… Read More

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    Christmas Crunch with Jingle Bell Rocks?!

    I should be more excited about Christmas Crunch’s glorious return, but… Ho ho hum. They didn’t redesign the box. It’s exactly the same as last year’s. And last year’s was exactly the same as 2011’s. I’d buy Christmas Crunch even if they released it in plain paper bags, but there’s … Read More

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    Holiday Goodwill Goodies!

    Remember when I went to Goodwill to find Halloween goodies? I thought it would be interesting to do the same for Christmas, so on Sunday, I went to that very same Goodwill store – the one with the stupid address that always makes my GPS explode. The results were… mixed.… Read More

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    Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 1!

    It’s already December? How did that happen? Thanks to an unusually late Thanksgiving, it completely caught me by surprise. Now I’m panicking. It’s the month that flies by in a week! I’m two power naps away from January! Screw that. Renewing Dino Drac’s celebration of all things red and gre… Read More

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    Edible Stocking Stuffers!

    I bought a big pile of edible stocking stuffers. Most of you would probably avoid these, whether because they’re made of dried meat or because they’re actually meant for cats. Me? I don’t discriminate. I love all stocking stuffers. Here are 70-100 words about each. Jack Link’s Beef Jerky! Oh… Read More

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    Thanksgiving is fantastic.

    Well, Thanksgiving kicked off with huge news. I’m sitting there watching a giant Kool-Aid Man roll by, and what does Matt Lauer announce? THE PENDING RETURN OF SHARKLEBERRY FIN. Oh my GOD. YESSSS! I’ll have more to say about this fantastic news later. This post is just meant to be my general… Read More

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    Dino Drac’s “Big Boxes of Joy” for sale!

    The holidays are mainly about squeezing everyone dry, so I’m here to sell you random junk! These occasional sales have become critical for my continued existence as “this blogger guy.”  I like to think of them as “donations with benefits.” That makes it easier for me to explain why anyone… Read More

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    I won a giant gingerbread house.

    …that’s the short version. I won a giant gingerbread house. It’s huge, it’s delicate, and it smells so sincere. Good God, the smell! Glade might try to make it into an aerosol mist, but only the genuine articles smell like this. I won it from that Christmas fair. The one I’ve been going to… Read More

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    That cheese with the nuts around it.

    No Christmas season is complete without THAT CHEESE. I don’t know if there’s an official term for it. They’re essentially hockey pucks made of cheese, rimmed with crushed almonds. I cannot remember a Christmas Eve without them. They sometimes appeared during Thanksgiving or even the scattered … Read More

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    TMNT “Capture the Kraang” Game!

    Right, like I was going to pass this up. “Capture the Kraang” is a clever spin on the old game where you use a little rod to yank fake fish out of a plastic pool. As the title suggests, they’ve replaced the fish with eight goddamned snapping Kraang.… Read More

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    Holiday Goldfish Crackers x1000.

    If “Christmas” and “Pepperidge Farm Goldfish” both rank high on the list of things you adore, you are so unbelievably covered. We’ve seen Christmassy Goldfish before, but never this many at the same time. The only reasonable inference is that Pepperidge Farm Goldfish is the official snack … Read More

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    Bud Light Lime’s “Cran-Brrr-Rita!”

    I’m on a big project this week, which is eating my time and making me crazy, but at least temporarily funding my passion for cranberry-infused alcoholic beverages. SPEAKING OF WHICH… Today’s video is my review of Bud Light Lime’s “Cran-Brrr-Rita.” The margarita with a twist! These are GO… Read More

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    Capri Sun’s Jingle Berry Holiday Pack!

    This year’s run of holiday junk food looks to be pretty fantastic. I’ve already spotted many great things, and not just repeats from last year, either. I’m talking about all NEW things. Leading the way is a special box of Christmassy Capri Sun! Capri Sun’s “Limited Time Holiday Packs” in… Read More

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    The Trash Pack Advent Calendar!

    I took a few days to lose the post-Halloween doldrums, but now I’m back, and ready to talk about candy canes. Almost. Dino Drac’s 2013 Holiday Season has arrived, and with it, another swank logo courtesy of Jason Week. We’ll come up with something else for December, but a “Thanksgiving Day P… Read More

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    Shrunken Apple Head’s 10th Birthday!

    Oof. This one’s gonna be bittersweet for me. I’ll tell you why in a minute. Guys, it’s Shrunken Apple Head’s TENTH birthday! Shrunken Apple Head first appeared on X-Entertainment in 2003, as part of my ill-fated attempt to review an ancient Vincent Price “Shrunken Head” kit without actua… Read More

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    Happy Halloween!

    Holy shit, it’s Halloween. Finally? Already?! The 2013 Halloween Countdown isn’t over yet (COME BACK TONIGHT!), but I hope you enjoyed it. More importantly, I hope you enjoyed the whole damn season. I know I have. Usually, Halloween gets here, and there’s a tiny voice inside me screaming, “T… Read More

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    Horror Spitballs, from 1989!

    The rumors are true. I have eight balls. Made by Entertech in 1989, the SPITBALLS collection turned our favorite slashers, monsters and ghosts into… well, spitballs. Each set came with two hollow rubber heads, with pinholes in the mouths. Squeeze ‘em underwater to fill ‘em up, and squeeze ‘e… Read More

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    Rocks & Bugs & Things!

    Rocks & Bugs & Things may very well be the strangest toy line of all time. Made by Ideal in 1985, there was nothing typical about these “hungry hunters with hidden horrors.” This much should be obvious just by looking at the box. No, your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you. No, there is… Read More

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    Classic Creepy Commercials – Volume 3!

    I’ve been absent for a few days, owing to several minor things that snowballed at the WORST POSSIBLE TIME. The assumption is that life went on without those three or four extra posts about candy and costumes. In any event, now I’m back, and I have more Classic Creepy Commercials! Here’s the th… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #18: Rotting Vermin!

    Okay, this has gotta be the weirdest edition of Vintage Vending yet. LOOK AT THIS THING! No formal title for the collection was provided, I guess because “Bugs & Fish Guts” would’ve been more polarizing than fetching. Everything about it is off. I’ll describe the individual prize… Read More

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    Preserving the Monster Cereals.

    After spending half of August gushing over Monster Cereals, I deliberately took a break from covering them – even as those swank retro boxes started piling up at Target. Please don’t confuse my silence with dispassion. I bought those fuckers in bulk the second I saw them. Even over a month later… Read More

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    Halloween Pancakes!

    Halloween is JUST TOO CLOSE. Since it falls on a Thursday, I can’t shake the feeling that everything will putter out like the last season of Heroes. For all intents, Halloween is this weekend, and that is JUST TOO CLOSE. So I’m sort of just grabbing at everything now, determined to do as much Ha… Read More

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    Classic Creepy Commercials – Volume 2!

    With another assist from Larry P., here’s the next batch of Classic Creepy Commercials! (You’ve read Volume 1, right?) Exactly zero of these have any clear link to the Halloween season, and yet, all of them are undeniably Halloweeny. If you’re in need of a late October spirit boost… Read More

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    Madd Matt reviews SPIDER BITES candy, from 1990.

    Madd Matt sure spent a long time making this video! Never heard of Spider Bites? Made by Topps in 1990, it was a collection of ghoulish spider figurines that dispensed awful, colorful candy. They came in a really great box! Thank you.… Read More

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    Yet More Vicious Videocassette Boxes!

    I’m back with another edition of “hey here are some videos sitting around the house that are tangentially related to Halloween.” Enjoy, and make sure you've read parts one and two!… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #17: Halloween Horrors!

    The Vintage Vending series returns with an incredibly seasonal addition. From 1994, get a load of the HALLOWEEN HORRORS collection! We’ve seen better prizes in the past, but on card art alone, this may be my favorite entry yet. I’ve seen plenty of vending assortments with “horror” flavors, b… Read More

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    Dino Drac’s 2013 Halloween Print!

    It’s finally here! Dino Drac’s 2013 Halloween print is NOW ON SALE! (click here for a larger version) Created (as usual) by Jason Week, this year’s print pays homage to – you guessed it – It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Of course, Dino Drac’s version of the party has an entirely… Read More

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    Mountain Dew Pitch Black is BACK!

    Okay guys, I have some big news. But before you get too excited, there’s a pretty major catch. MOUNTAIN DEW PITCH BLACK IS BACK! Yup. No joke. That’s a 2013 can of Halloween’s unofficially official soda. But here’s the catch… You’ll need to import it from freakin’ Malaysia. There a… Read More

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    Obscure Freddy Krueger Merch!

    Without meaning to, I’ve amassed a pretty diverse collection of Freddy Krueger merchandise. I guess the best explanation is that it’s very easy to do. Especially in his heyday, Freddy Krueger really stood apart from his slasher brethren on the merchandise front. His steady evolution into a kille… Read More

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    Meet GORZAK.

    Introducing GORZAK, one of the best toys you’ve never heard of. Made by Tyco in 1994, the battery-operated behemoth stood around fifteen inches tall, feeling much like a cousin of the Inhumanoids. Here’s the commercial, but I warn you: Nobody can watch this without making the acquisition of Gorz… Read More

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    Old & New Halloween Gum!

    This article is about GUM. New gum and old gum. I’m grouping them together because they’re brothers from different mothers. The Big League Chew packages are new for 2013, while the mysterious “Shreds” are… well, actually, I have no idea when they’re from. 1977? 1995? All I know for sure … Read More

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    Classic Creepy Commercials – Volume 1!

    If you were reading last year, you’ll probably remember the Creepy Commercials Countdown, where I did reallllly long reviews of old spooky commercials all throughout October. Given my failure to keep it updated last year, discontinuing the feature wasn’t a tough call. It took a little too much t… Read More

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    Screamin’ Pumpkin Spice Chips Ahoywiches!

    Hungry? Try these! I’m calling them Screamin’ Pumpkin Spice Chips Ahoywiches. When you can’t come up with something clever, come up with something long. Shown above is everything you’ll need. You could swap every ingredient out for another and make some other bizarre Halloween ice cream sand… Read More

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    The Unknown Phantom Costume!

    While killing a few minutes at Walmart last night, I stumbled upon a costume that I could NOT leave without. This one: The UNKNOWN PHANTOM costume! The chances of me actually needing a Halloween costume this year are slim, but who could turn this down? It’s a full-body reaper outfit with blinking … Read More

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    The 2013 Halloween Mood Table!

    It’s October. Officially October. Undeniably October. I’m happy it’s here, but I’m also petrified. The Halloween season is moving so FAST this year! September flew by in what felt like a week, and I’m sure October will be no different. Be sure to make the most of it, guys. A good way to st… Read More

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    Goosebumps Voice-Changing Haunted Mask!

    October is just around the corner, which, of course, is our universal signal to kick our spooky celebrations into second gear. I have much to prepare, so pardon me if I rush through this! Everyone knows about the Goosebumps books and TV series, but have you ever seen the amazing merchandise that cam… Read More

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    Caramel Apple Toaster Strudel!

    I’ve been scouting Toaster Strudel for years now, waiting for Pillsbury to come out with the inevitable  “Halloween edition.”  Well, they finally did it! Course, it’s not as much a Halloween edition as an autumn edition, and even then, it’s not very explicit. Whatever. I don’t think it… Read More

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    Campbell’s Super Mario Soup!

    I’m taking a day off from Halloweening, because this just can’t wait. Three words, everyone. SUPER. MARIO. SOUP. New from Campbell’s, Mario and friends have finally been immortalized as broth-soaked pieces of pasta. I heard the news on Tumblr a week or so ago, but it was quickly forgotten unde… Read More

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    Deadsites: House on Haunted Hill!

    I saw House on Haunted Hill on its opening night – October 29th, 1999. A stone’s throw from the last Halloween of the ‘90s. I wonder if that’s why I have such fond memories of it? I really do. I think it’s amazing. Too many people focus on its admittedly dopey ending, and forget that the r… Read More

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    Imperial’s Classic Movie Monsters!

    If Imperial’s “Classic Movie Monsters” seem vaguely familiar… GOOD. That’s the best way to describe them. “Vaguely familiar.” The small collection of laaaarge Universal Monsters figures arrived in 1986, and in one way or another, I’m convinced that everyone on the planet has owned at… Read More

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    The Times Scare Disaster.

    On Saturday night, a bunch of us went to Times Scare New York City, a restaurant slash haunted house that I’ve been spying on for years. This group also included my friends from Freddy in Space and The Sexy Armpit, so before I get too deep into the more boring parts of this review, let me apologiz… Read More

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    MORE Vicious Videocassette Boxes!

    Continuing on with the Vicious Videocassette Boxes series, here’s Part 2! Five more dusty old tapes, and the memories they inspire! #6: Ghoulies II (1988) Watch the trailer! You should remember the original Ghoulies from the first batch. This time, the “green toilet monster” shed his clothes a… Read More

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    Six Foot Freddy Krueger Decoration!

    A friend – let’s call him “M” – told me to keep an eye on the mailbox. Assuming “M” did not mean this literally, I complied. My reward was a 72-inch Freddy Krueger with a huge head and absolutely no feet. “M” apologized for leaving the price sticker on. He feared that any attempt a… Read More

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    Halloween Color Blanks, Super-Sized!

    During last year’s Countdown, I tossed up a ditty about RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks – the “naked” vinyl figures that come with really inky markers to help you to bring them to life. I didn’t expect to be writing about them again, but the upgrade for 2013 is too major to skip. Not on… Read More

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    The Jones Soda 2013 Halloween Flavors!

    They’re BACK. The key points: 1. Jones Soda’s Halloween flavors have RETURNED. 2. This year, the collection includes Red Licorice, Candy Corn, Blood Orange and Caramel Apple. 3. I made a big long video about them! Enjoy. I’m gonna go spend an hour doing nothing productive.… Read More

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    Spooky Old Cereal Prizes!

    Longtime readers should remember my obsession with old cereal prizes. If you’re not a longtime reader: I’m obsessed with old cereal prizes. You’ll still find free toys in certain boxes, but it isn’t like it used to be. Growing up, the competition between breakfast cereals seemed as much abou… Read More

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    Lucky Charms Halloween Treats!

    Today was the day that all Targets were supposed to officially switch from “back to school” from “Halloween,” or so the said the rumor mill. Turns out, the news was only partially true. I had to hit three different Targets to finally escape the spread of schoolbags and notebooks, but in the … Read More

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    Friday the 13th: Vintage TV Spots!

    You know what today is, right? FRIDAY THE 13th. One that’s occurring smack dab in the middle of the HALLOWEEN SEASON. Don’t squander it, guys. Calendar blessings like this won’t happen often. I’m mandating that all of you watch at least one of the Friday the 13th movies today. I’d be happi… Read More

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    Halloween at Kmart!

    Doing the Halloween Countdown involves a lot of hunting. It always has. I can’t rely on any one or two stores to “fill the tank” for two months’ worth of posts, so I’m constantly searching for more, and my core base of “retail hot spots” is always growing. For the first several Countdo… Read More

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    Halloween Lunchables!

    Last night’s trip to Target was looking like another fruitless pile of trashy despair. The “back to school” section was still in full swing, and Halloween was nowhere in sight. This would’ve been much more depressing had frozen raspberries not been on sale. But miracles do happen, and just w… Read More

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    Vicious Videocassette Boxes!

    I’ve written about my lifelong fascination with horror videos too many times to get away with it again, but the gist of it is that I don’t look at them as just “tapes.” Some are mementos, others are art, but all are more than the mere means to watch movies in an archaic way.… Read More

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    Roseanne’s LETHAL LODGE.

    One of my favorite posts from last year’s Countdown was this tribute to Roseanne’s first Halloween special, titled “Boo.” The Emmy-nominated second season episode kicked off a tradition that would last until the end of the series. Every year, you could always count on the Conners to do SOMET… Read More

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    The “Terror Tires” Art Expo!

    PAGES: ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR Well guys, you didn’t let me down. Almost eighty of you participated in the Terror Tires Art Expo, successfully changing a boring ass tire graphic into incredibly Halloweeny works of art. Thanks a million to everyone who joined the fun. If you missed the deadline, d… Read More

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    “Tropical Terror” Fruit by the Foot!

    Another great thing about the 2013 Halloween season is that it isn’t just about the heavy hitters. Fruit Brute and Ghoul-Aid Jammers may be getting the bulk of the press, but even plenty of the simpler things are amazing. Don’t overlook ‘em! For example, take Fruit by the Foot’s Hallowee… Read More

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    The Real Ghostbusters Happy Meal!

    If you’re around my age – and even if you’re not – you should be able to remember a dozen times when McDonald’s sweetened the Halloween season. From McBoo pails to the costumed McNugget buddies, Ronald McDonald has often seemed like Halloween’s Santa Claus, always ready to reward the bur… Read More

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    Gurglin Gutz. That’s what they’re called!

    Gurglin Gutz was a smallish line of gruesome “stress balls” that made rude noises when you squeezed them. That about says it all, but I live to stretch! The collection debuted in 1995, and as you can tell from the above example, the toys weren’t much different from the “unpackaged” novelti… Read More

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    Ghoul-Aid Jammers ARE HERE!

    I finally found them. THANK GOD. Now I can breathe again. I’d like to introduce you to the greatest thing that’s ever been served in a foil pouch: GHOUL-AID JAMMERS! *cheers* It’s great stuff. Amazing flavor, amazing packaging, amazing everything. One note: I didn’t notice th… Read More

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    Deadsites: 1995′s Halloween Mart!

    At some point over the next two months, you’ll probably find yourself wading through the glut of online costume shops, hoping to find that rare glow-in-the-dark Predator mask that I’m pretty sure I just made up. If so, there’s a good chance you’ll land at Halloween Mart, which boasts that i… Read More

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    Dunkin’ Donuts Pumpkin Coffee K-Cups!

    Happy Labor Day! Historically one of the worst days to post new content! Let’s celebrate with four minutes of me drinking coffee! Pumpkin K-Cups from Dunkin’ Donuts may sound like an acquired taste, but trust me, they’re GOOD. As someone who is cursed to love Halloween while being aver… Read More

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    Ghoulish Goodwill Goodies!

    Now, when you look at the above photo, and I tell you that that was barely a fourth of their Halloween “junk shelf” items, you might think that I hit the jackpot. Actually, I really needed to hunt for the goodies. Between the prices and the fact that so much of it was the same stuff you’d find… Read More

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    The 2013 Halloween Countdown Begins!

    “Perversity is the human thirst for self-torture.” - Edgar Allan Poe For most of the year, I only exist. I grasp at distractions and have my share of smiles, but still, for most of the year, I just exist. It’s kind of a waking, walking hibernation. And now, it’s finally over. Welcome… Read More

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    The Starburst Candy Corn Taste-Test.

    I’m trying to keep my Halloweenosity in check until 8/31, but it’s kinda hard when life keeps throwing things like this in my face: Yep, it’s Starburst Candy Corn! Fruit-flavored and appropriately colored, they’re ideal for people who hate the flavor of candy corn, but love t… Read More

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    VIDEO: Frute Brute & Fruity Yummy Mummy!

    It’s been an absolutely crazy few days, and it’s all because of Fruity Yummy Mummy. (Okay. Frute Brute, too.) If you’ve been paying attention to Dino Drac and its ten thousand social media extensions, you know that I’ve been all over the “returning Monster Cereal” news. Well, it took ext… Read More

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    Monster-Mania XXV Convention Report!

      The Monster-Mania horror convention returned to New Jersey this weekend, and for the sixth or seventh time, we were thurrrrrr. Over the years, my visits to Monster-Mania have devolved from weekend-long adventures to quick trips through the dealer rooms. Even with a blockbuster celebrity lineup in… Read More

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    Frute Brute and Fruity Yummy Mummy ARE BACK.

    Between 10AM and 12PM, I received word from three different readers about the cereals. At that point, Frute Brute was only a "possibly-maybe," but I had a confirmed Fruity Yummy Mummy sighting from an employee of a certain national chain.… Read More

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    Yet More Old Comic Book Ads!

    Since this will obviously just be another of my “random old comic book ad” reviews, there isn’t much point in slaving over a meaningful introduction. Instead, I’ll use this space to tell you about last night’s dream. I went into a sporting goods store, which I guess was the first clue that… Read More

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    Deadsites #6: Ghost Ship Movie Site!

    In this edition of Deadsites, we’re taking a look at the official movie site for 2002’s Ghost Ship. Starring Gabriel Byrne and Julianna Margulies, it’s about an abandoned luxury liner stuffed with treasure and torment. Here’s the trailer: I saw Ghost Ship exactly once, on a night when I was … Read More

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    The Popsicle Parade – Part 4!

    This will probably be the last edition of The Popsicle Parade for 2013, so please, a moment of silence from those who have enjoyed looking at old ice cream stickers. Thank you. That was special. #21: Firecracker Root Beer Float! I’m loving the discovery that this “Firecracker” popsicle was act… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #16: Super Mega Edition.

    I’ve been visibly absent these past few days, but it was for a good cause. Been getting ahead on a few things for this year’s Halloween Countdown. This may be the first time in forever that I’m actually over-prepared, at least in terms of having enough topics to cover 40+ spooky posts. I’ll … Read More

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    Trading Card Madness.

    Since shipping those Cruel Summer Funpacks involved digging deep into my immense collection of trading cards, I’ve spent the past week drowning in paperboard nostalgia. With even the really old sets still being easy to find, I guess I’d overlooked just how much they used to mean to me. I needed … Read More

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    My Pet Monster.

    It all started at a random junk store. Somewhere between the electric flyswatters, the bootleg Snuggies, and the breakfast cereals based on movies that haven’t been in theaters since 2010, I found this: An adorable tank, complete with a plastic palm tree. I’ve probably mentioned this before,… Read More

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    The Last Video Store in the World.

    Every now and again, I scour local business directories for any last remaining video stores. (And please, let’s not get into any semantics battles: Even when they’re renting DVDs, I still call them “video stores.”) As you know, they’re a dying breed. I used to only complain when larger cha… Read More

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    1980s Candy Heads!

    If you’re unfamiliar with “candy heads,” they were candy-filled containers shaped like the heads of our most beloved TV and movie characters. But you could probably tell that from the photo. They still exist in many forms, but it isn’t like it used to be. There was a time when virtually ever… Read More

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    Epoch’s “Dracula” Game, from 1982!

    I wrote about this many years ago. Now I will rehash my thoughts in video form! Epoch’s DRACULA game was released in 1982. Even if its graphics and noises are way dated, the theme hasn’t lost a step. There are monsters, mazes and coffins, and it’s up to YOU to steal Dracula’s… Read More

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    Random McDonald’s Trayliners!

    Here’s the sequel to something I wrote back in 2007, about old McDonald’s “trayliners.” You know, the paper placemats that lined our trays whenever we ate at McD’s. Truly, the biggest disadvantage of taking your food to go was missing the chance to watch oily fries turn a trayliner… Read More

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    Pink Swimmingo Kool-Aid, from 1992!

    Here’s me, trying “Pink Swimmingo” Kool-Aid from 1992. It’s one of the few “character flavors” I never got around to back on X-E. It’s pretty wonderful stuff! Really wish Kool-Aid would start doing the custom flavor mascots again. I love the Kool-Aid Man as … Read More

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    Dino Drac Funpacks For Sale!

    Wellp, my most expensive site seasons are coming up, so it’s time to make some money from selling you total junk! Introducing Dino Drac’s Cruel Summer Funpacks! If you live in the U.S., they’re 25 bucks shipped, and come with everything you see here: A smorgasbord of potentially-ov… Read More

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    NECA’s “8-Bit Jason Voorhees” Figure!

    If you follow me here or here, you’ve probably seen me flip over NECA’s SDCC exclusive “8-Bit Jason Voorhees” figure, based on his appearance in the old Nintendo game. Fortunately for those who couldn’t/wouldn’t go to the convention, NECA also sold them online. Ho… Read More

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    The 10 best “Carnival Mirror Prizes” on eBay.

    The situation, made a billion times worse: This post is about carnival mirror prizes. 99% of you have no idea what I even mean by that, and I’m in no position to explain it. We’re totally fucked here, and I haven’t even started.… Read More

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    Deadsites #5: Pokemon World, from 1999!

    Today on Deadsites: A whole lotta Pikachu. If you don’t care about Pokemon, you uh… may want to pick a different article to read. I wrote two yesterday, if that helps? Technically, this isn’t as much a “Deadsite” as a changed site. Pokemon.com is still active, obviously, but it’s ch… Read More

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    14 Photos of Snakeweed.

    I took fourteen photos of Snakeweed. See below. Photo #1: This is Snakeweed, one of the evil mutants from the new TMNT series. Which I suppose isn’t all that “new” anymore. The figure came out a while ago, but I normally only see the four Turtles in stores – never their assorted friends and … Read More

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    1990s Comic Books Ads!

    A week or so ago, I bought a big pile of old comic books. Since I have little interest in what Ghost Rider was doing in 1994, my purchase was mostly made to find more of those great old ads. Here are five, at random!… Read More

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    Ocean Creatures Crackers!

    The real world kept me from Dino Drac for a week, and now I’m all rusty. I have longer posts waiting to be written, but today calls for something breezy and brainless. How about cheese crackers shaped like squid? Ocean Creatures! I found them at Dollar Tree, and was immediately enamored with the c… Read More

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    Five Random Action Figures, Part 5!

    I was supposed to see Pacific Rim tonight. Then our plans changed. Then I went on Wikipedia and read every single thing that happens. On the idiocy scale of 1 to 10, I like spaghetti. I’m seeing it tomorrow, but I’m still pissed enough to let those feelings seep into this fucking article about s… Read More

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    The Popsicle Parade – Part 3!

    It’s been a while since the last edition of The Popsicle Parade, and summer isn’t getting any younger. Here are five more treats from yesteryear’s ice cream trucks, represented by big yellow stickers that photograph horribly!  #16: Firecracker! If you think this one’s boring, it’s only be… Read More

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    Realm of the Underworld Figures!

    You’ve surely noticed the slew of “independent” toy lines that have materialized in recent years. You know, the kind you see funded by Kickstarter campaigns, which often take inspiration from retro lines? I won’t pretend that there’s never a dud, but so many of these “microbrew” lines … Read More

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    Deadsites #4: Edy’s Godzilla Ice Cream!

    I’m no fan of Roland Emmerich’s Godzilla, but man, I wanted to be. I saw it way late, and hoped that its parade of awful reviews were only written by people who’d either “missed the point” or were inherently joyless. Nah. It really was terrible. But that doesn’t damper my memories of its… Read More

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    Deadsites #3: The Craft Movie Site!

    Today on Deadsites: The official site for The Craft, a film about disenfranchised high school teens who change their fortunes with witchcraft. In more direct terms: Fairuza Balk, hamming it up as a black magician. So of course I loved it. The Craft came out in 1996, as did its website. It had the tr… Read More

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    Deadsites #2: Pepsi Blue’s Official Site!

    Deadsites rages on with its second edition. Today’s website is about old soda and Papa Roach. No guesses? Fine. Here’s an obnoxiously tall hint: Yep, we’re about to revisit the official website of PEPSI BLUE, from 2002! I wrote about this stuff when it was brand new. (I’m old, you see.) I wa… Read More

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    Deadsites #1: Lake Placid Movie Site!

    It’s a theme that’s come up once or twice in past articles, but I adore it too much. I must beat it into the ground. Presenting Dino Drac’s latest recurring feature: DEADSITES. Through the power of the Wayback Machine, we’re going to look at lots of old, dead websites. Why? Because I’m sc… Read More

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    ID4 Alien Supreme Commander!

    With mere hours until July 4th, it’s only fitting that I finally write something about one of my favorite movies, Independence Day. Maybe “favorite” is a strong word, but I saw that film in theaters no less than ten times. I memorized every line, right down to Bill Pullman’s torching… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #15: Pom Poms!

    The first sentence is always hardest, unless you kill it with bullshit like this. Today on Vintage Vending, meet the Pom Poms! Six adorably fuzzy beasts from God knows where, ready to offer us love and companionship! Their feet are stickers! We’ll see more of them in a bit. First, we gotta get thr… Read More

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    Impossibly Pink Rice Krispies Treats.

    It all started with the marshmallows. Kraft’s “Strawberry Mallows” are pinker than pigs, and I can never say no to a new type of marshmallow. (I understand that these might not be new, but I’d never seen them before this weekend.) It’s a sick habit, really it is. I don’t even like marshm… Read More

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    Dino Drac Visits Point Pleasant – Part 2!

    Here’s the second half of my Point Pleasant trip report. Better late than never? Is this not exactly the type of infectious enthusiasm that keeps you coming back for more? The Lost World: Jurassic Park is a light gun game that doubles as a makeshift clubhouse. The arcade’s probably had it since… Read More

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    Dino Drac Visits Point Pleasant – Part 1!

    We went to Point Pleasant last weekend. I saw too many great things for just one post, so come back tomorrow for Part 2! Never heard of Point Pleasant? It’s a beach town in New Jersey, but when I say “Point Pleasant,” I’m specifically referring to its boardwalk, stuffed with games, rides, ju… Read More

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    The 5 best Shamu items on eBay.

    I hate that I’ve learned too much to support the concept of captive killer whales being made to perform circus tricks. As a kid, I truly believed that Shamu enjoyed jumping through hoops. The entire SeaWorld brand was built around Shamu, and it’s been a Shamu-fest over there for decades. As such… Read More

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    Matt’s Medium Adventure!

    A few weeks ago, Ms. X and I agreed to help a relative get to and from the hospital for a minor surgery. Yesterday was the day. There were no complications, but the procedure ended up taking four times longer than everyone expected. That left us with several hours to drive around the area, desperate… Read More

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    THE ULTIMATE TERMINATOR.

    The only flaw is that he doesn’t stand very well. To keep the figure upright involved the kind of ballet-level tip-toeing that I previously never knew I was capable of. There’s a reason you’ve never seen anyone rain dance around an upright ULTIMATE TERMINATOR.… Read More

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    Watermelon Oreo Cookies!

    I’ve received no less than two dozen messages from readers eager to hear my thoughts about Nabisco’s new Watermelon Oreos. And if we remove the word “dozen” from the preceding statement, it’d actually be true. Behold, Watermelon Oreo cookies. On one hand bizarre, yet still perfect for summ… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #14: Magic Tricks and Jokes!

    The “Magic Tricks and Jokes” assortment is like an old Johnson Smith ad come to life. The collective charm far outweighs the fact that every item on the card is a hunk of junk, at least in the practical sense.… Read More

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    Red, White & Berry Pop-Tarts!

    I found patriotic Pop-Tarts. Okay, so exactly how popular are Pop-Tarts, anyway? I can’t name another food that gets anywhere near this many special editions. Kellogg’s goes nuts for every holiday, and I don’t just mean the big ones. If it’s on the calendar – any calendar – Kellogg’s m… Read More

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    Dino Drac goes to the zoo!

    In the zoo’s reptile wing, I was mesmerized by this Gila Monster, a venomous lizard with a taste for bird eggs. While technically dangerous, the Gila Monster’s scary reputation is based more on myth than fact.… Read More

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    The Legend of Zelda!

    While digging through some more old storage bins, I came across that. The Legend of Zelda, for the Nintendo Entertainment System. Finding an old Zelda cartridge might normally only be cause for a passing smile, but this was different. This was 100% complete, in its original box, with the manual and … Read More

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    Red Robin’s Wolverine Burger!

    There’s a new Wolverine movie coming out next month. I know nothing about it. But I noticed that the internet was going crazy this morning, when news broke of a pair of Wolverine-themed hamburgers now available at Red Robin: I live for silly, fleeting promotions like this! Just imagine the events … Read More

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    Five Random Action Figures, Part 4!

    I’ve been sorting through my storage bins. Not the usual ones. These are the bins that time forgot. Stuff I stashed away more than ten years ago. Back then, I was still in “save everything” mode, so I’ve spent many years believing there was nothing but garbage in them. (Broken videos? Chippe… Read More

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    My 21-year-old dinosaur statue.

    This post is brought to you by serendipity. At least, I hope it is. I’m not totally clear on what “serendipity” means. See this? It’s a baby dinosaur statue, made by Windstone. I bought it in 1992. I was thirteen years old. This poor dinosaur has had it rough. Look close and you’ll see… Read More

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    Dino Drac Visits Keansburg, NJ!

    I made a vow to return to my old Jersey shore haunts this year. It’s been way too long. First on my list was the Keansburg Amusement Park, a fairly small beachside attraction filled with rides, games and fried clams. Last year’s hurricane hit Keansburg hard, and several “relic attractions” b… Read More

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    Dinosaur Dracula’s 1st Birthday!

    One year ago today, Dinosaur Dracula hatched. It’s my baby’s birthday! Let’s party. I guess I should start with the obvious. As you can tell by the site’s new look, Dino Drac’s birthday coincides with the launch of its SUMMER SEASON – a three-month spread of the usual mixed with … Read More

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    I wish Fruity Freaks was real.

    You’ve all heard of Count Chocula, Franken Berry and Boo Berry. The “Monster Cereals.” Many of us grew up on them. Those who didn’t can at least count on ‘em to turn up every Halloween season, in progressively smaller boxes at progressively higher prices. But among the trio’s fans are a … Read More

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    The Popsicle Parade – Part 2!

    It’s time for the second edition of The Popsicle Parade! In Part 1, I beat you over the head with ten different historically significant desserts. This time, I’ll be gentler to us both and only cover five. Moving forward with #11-15! #11: Screwball! If you’ve never heard of this, you haven’t… Read More

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    Rediscovered Treasures.

    I made the mistake of trying to tidy up my office. It’s always a mistake! My entire life exists as a series of boxes and bins. Once I start going through those, there’s no end to the madness. What was only meant to be a gentle reorganization has transformed my sanctuary into an imploded pawnRead More

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    Video: G1 Transformers METROPLEX Review!

    Metroplex was a giant robot who transformed into an entire Autobot city, stuffed with alcoves and doodads. He even came with three additional Autobot allies! I’d tell you more, but that’s what the video is for.… Read More

  • The Cinn*A*Burst Gum Tribute!

    Surely you remember Cinn*A*Burst! The legendary gum was Warner-Lambert’s attempt to do battle with Wrigley’s Big Red. How on Earth did they lose that war?! Cinn*A*Burst hit the scene in September of 1991, just as I was entering the seventh grade. I hated all of middle school, but the seventh gra… Read More

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    Ninja Turtles “Sumo Raphael” Figure!

    Playmates’ original collection of Ninja Turtles toys survived for longer than you might’ve noticed, because if you’re around my age, you probably outgrew five-inch Donatellos before the rest of the world did. It’s a shame, because as the line entered its final years, Playmates made some desp… Read More

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    1992 TRU Jurassic Park Treat Box!

    If you’ve been around Dino Drac long enough, you’ve probably read my article about the legendary Toys “R” Us Treat Box. Of course, “legendary” may be too strong a word, since I seem to be the only one who remembers them. Thank God for material evidence. Brother, you missed out. At scatt… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #13: Trash Can Tots!

    Last night on Dino Drac’s Facebook page, I randomly opened an old pack of Garbage Pail Kids. Doing so stirred many memories of my childhood GPK obsession, which had some incredible highs and lows. If you were alive at the time, you should remember the highs. Collecting Garbage Pail Kids was someth… Read More

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    Sonic the Hedgehog Life Savers, from 1994!

    New video! Back in 1994, Wrigley teamed up with Sega to bring us SONIC THE HEDGEHOG LIFE SAVERS. There were two types. “Blue Rad” was a tongue-coloring raspberry flavor, while “Hot Rings” was a spicy beast that I actually still had a pack of. This is their story, complete with a Hot Rings ta… Read More

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    The Popsicle Parade – Part 1!

    With summer just over a month away, I’m only a little early in launching Dino Drac’s latest recurring feature. Introducing The Popsicle Parade, a multi-part series celebrating dozens of the wonderful things we used to buy from ice cream trucks! There’s a certain “artistry” to popsicles tha… Read More

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    Dollar Store Three-Man Attack Series!

    Me and two buddies thought it might be fun to do a project together, and since gabbing about bullshit from dollar stores is so easy, I’m guessing that was my contribution to our process. Teaming with Billy from VeggieMacabre and Brian from Review the World, we were each challenged to find the best… Read More

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    Toys from Big. The movie, I mean.

    I saw Big in theaters back in ’88, and charming as it was, I think the fact that I was nine-years-old had everything to do with why I loved it.  Sure, the film was as much “sad” as “happy,” but what kid wouldn’t have been jealous of Tom Hanks? (More specifically his character, Josh?) No… Read More

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    So Many McNuggets Commercials!

    If what we ate had no consequences, I’d live on Chicken McNuggets. Yeah, I’ve seen the photo of that pinkish, chemical-soaked goo they’re made from. I don’t care. In this fantasy, there are no consequences. Chicken McNuggets debuted in 1983. By the time I was consciously aware of what I was … Read More

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    Carnival Glories, 2013 Edition!

    Back when Dino Drac was still a baby, I wrote about a traveling carnival that’s made my city one of its annual stops. Well, it’s back this week, and better than ever! Or at least better than it’s been during certain years. Maybe it’s just as okay as ever. I don’t know. They had cottonRead More

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    Goodies from Goodwill!

    What should have been a routine trip home from Philly turned into an absolute nightmare, with the kind of demoralizing traffic normally reserved for setup montages during coffee commercials. This was yesterday afternoon, and as hellish at it was, the experience came with a major bright side. A despe… Read More

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    Awesome Toys in Flight of the Navigator!

    Released in 1986, I must have seen Flight of the Navigator at least a hundred times. Admittedly, none of those hundred times were recent. If I get any facts wrong in this post, blame a combination of faded memories and the fact that I wrote it at 3:30 in the morning. The synopsis, as IRead More

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    Jaws: The Revenge items, from eBay!

    Released in 1987, Jaws: The Revenge was the final and least-liked of the four Jaws films. And that’s a major understatement. The movie’s legendary stupidity transcended mere comparisons with the previous chapters, and it’s in fact regarded as one of the worst movies of all time. See it once an… Read More

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    Mighty Max. But with aliens.

    Sent from the cosmos to some dank New Jersey flea market, I’m proud to present the gorgeous mutant offspring of Mighty Max and space aliens! The Mysteries of the Universe collection mixes the “tiny playset” appeal of Mighty Max with the “holy shit SPACE ALIENS” appeal of… I don’t know,… Read More

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    Old Batman Tortilla Chips!

    Back in 1992, the weirdly named “Street Kids” company sought to capitalize on Batman’s box office successes with TORTILLA CHIPS SHAPED LIKE HIS LOGO. Street Kids already had major product tie-in successes with the first Batman flick, but the chips coincided with Batman Returns – easily my fa… Read More

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    Dino Drac’s Luxury Apartments!

    You’ve been looking for a new place, and that ad in the paper hit all the right notes… Welcome to Dino Drac’s Luxury Apartments! They’re safe, they’re spacious, and they’re affordable! The building is still under construction, but it looks like a few tenants have already moved in! Se… Read More

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    Arachnophobia!

    I wouldn’t call Arachnophobia one of my favorite movies, but I do love it. What’s not to love? Jeff Daniels and John Goodman square off against displaced killer spiders, which quickly turn a small California town into a human graveyard! The film has a memorable flavor, and not just because i… Read More

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    Patriotic Pull ‘n Peel Twizzlers!

    I found some new Twizzlers today. Most of you wouldn’t think that a new Twizzlers flavor is just cause for a complete and total shift in one’s religious beliefs and personal trajectory, but before you put a stamp on that stance, check out the photos in this review. Because Holy Jesus. To correct… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #12: Dinosaur Museum!

    In this issue of Vintage Vending: More dinosaurs! I would’ve been all over this Dinosaur Museum set as a kid. (And given that I would’ve been of the appropriate age in 1985, I’m sad that I missed the chance.) The stars were a series of skeletal figures, meant to represent museum-assembled dead… Read More

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    Five Random Action Figures, Part 3!

    I’ve been away for a while, slaying dragons, righting wrongs, and drawing crude character concepts for a gaming universe populated exclusively by warrior snails. I can’t say that I’ve been very successful with these endeavors, but they’ve given me many stories to tell. To ease myself back in… Read More

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    Say hello to Mr. Wasp.

    I knew that big hole in my window screen would eventually lead to trouble. This afternoon, a wasp flew straight through it. Big one, too. He looked pissed. A funny thing happens to wasps when they come indoors. They just completely lose their grace. Outside, this wasp may have entranced me with its … Read More

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    The “Almost” Hobbes Doll!

    Like many of you, I grew up reading, loving and damn near worshipping Calvin and Hobbes. Bill Watterson’s famously perfect comic strip spoke to us in so many ways. We all saw a little (or a lot) of ourselves in Calvin, even if we only wished that we could muster enough imagination to turn our dol… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #11: Dinosaur Park!

    Vintage Vending continues with the Dinosaur Park Collection, an assortment of cheap dinosaur stuff that probably isn’t at old as it looks. The title has to be a nod to Jurassic Park, right? If so, this collection would’ve been from around 1993. Jurassic Park spiked interest in dinosaurs across t… Read More

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    John Cena’s Fruity Pebbles.

    This is a wrestling post. If you’re not interested in wrestling, it’s also a cereal post. If you’re not interested in wrestling or cereal, well, I’m pretty zooted, and this could end up becoming a play-by-play of Roald Amundsen’s 1903 search for the Northwest Passage. Or maybe a tribute to… Read More

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    Virtual Saturday Morning.

    It’s Saturday morning! Your favorite part of the whole week! You wake up bright and early. Earlier than everyone else in the house, that’s for sure. The skies are dim and grey, and there isn’t a peep in the whole neighborhood. You wish it would stay like this forever. Just picture it. An endle… Read More

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    I made you lunch.

    Guys, I made you lunch. You better eat it. It’s a sin to waste food. See that? It’s a Kraft “Singlestamp” cheese cutter, with a Cheesasaurus Rex theme. If you’ll recall, Cheesasaurus Rex was Kraft’s beloved Macaroni & Cheese mascot back in the ‘90s. He was big, he was orange an… Read More

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    Back to the Future Part II’s Antique Shop!

    Back to the Future Part II might just be my favorite of the trilogy. If nothing else, it was the ballsiest of the three. A movie so bizarre and so unbridledly over-the-top that it could’ve very easily been laughed at for all the wrong reasons. I’ve seen the movie a million times, but was only… Read More

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    I’m selling Mumm-Ras.

    I’m selling Mumm-Ras. A whole bunch of Mumm-Ras. Twenty-five smackers each. Maybe you’d like to buy a Mumm-Ra? If so, ordering info is at the bottom of this post. If not, well, this is still a normal toy review, so read and enjoy and just skip the part where I ask for your money. ThisRead More

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    Work-a de art-a.

    Here’s the situation. Earlier tonight, we were informed of a surprise visit that was going to take place no more than ten minutes after the sudden warning. I had no issue with the person visiting, but since I was grimy, groggy and without time to clean up, I decided to sit this one out. “TellRead More

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    The Best Vending Machine Ever.

    If you live in anything resembling suburbia, maybe you’ve seen an Allstar vending machine. They’re stuffed with trading cards of all types, and at least around here, there’s one near the exit of every grocery store. I’m going to take the long way to get there, but here’s a quick summar… Read More

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    Old Internet Junk!

    I first went online in 1995, back when you paid by the hour for an extremely slow connection. At the time, my concept of the internet only went as far as what America Online would show me. Actual websites existed, of course, but between the slow speed and my unfamiliarity, I mostly stuck with chat … Read More

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    I’m best friends with Pee-wee Herman.

    As some of you know, I ordered WrestleMania last night. The PPV price was steep, but I just couldn’t let myself miss Undertaker vs. Punk. It was a good event overall, but the show definitely peaked with that match. I seized the opportunity to do some live tweeting, to the grand annoyance of all bu… Read More

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    You’re going to the movies!

    Tonight, you’re going to the movies! Whether you want to or not! As if by some unseen force, you are escorted to Dinosaur Dracula’s Superstar Theater. While waiting for your turn at the ticket counter, you realize that this is no ordinary theater. Mingling with your fellow humans are all sorts o… Read More

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    Comic Book Friday!

    Today mysteriously turned into Comic Book Friday! I was running an errand in an unusual area, and remembered that this unusual area was also home to my city’s longest operating comic book shop – a place that’s been around for at least twenty years. I decided to drop by. Maybe they’d stil… Read More

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    Real Ghostbusters Mini Shooter!

    As it relates to Kenner’s Real Ghostbusters toys, I was always much more into the monsters than the Ghostbusters themselves. Egon and friends were neat, but the ghosts were where the line shined brightest. They had no “template” mold or style, and each was vastly different from the last. The S… Read More

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    Cheetos Mix-Ups!

    HOT NEWS: I found new Cheetos. Cheetos Mix-Ups blend four different types of Cheetos to create what I like to call “junk food as art.” It may be unhealthy, but fans of the gloriously absurd will not be able to ignore this. The bag doesn’t have any “limited time only” warnings, but experien… Read More

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    1-900-909-CREEP.

    My friend Paul from the new and improved Wrestlecrap shot me a tip about this one. Thank you, Paul! You made my week. I’m not going to dig up the half-broken old article, but back in 2005, I wrote about my experiences with the Freddy Krueger hotline. It was just one of the many 900Read More

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    Vlog: The Simpsons Easter Basket!

    Easter is tomorrow. May those who celebrate spend tonight dyeing eggs and fiddling with phony grass. I went to our city’s last remaining K-Mart yesterday. The place was a wreck. Looked like it hadn’t been remodeled since 1982. Still had an “Eatery” and everything. Smelled like bad mi… Read More

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    A Tribute to Charlie Brown’s ‘Cyclopedias!

    If you’ve never heard of Charlie Brown’s ‘Cyclopedia, you have my sincere pity. I loved these books as a child, and still do today. Not exaggerating at all: I still read these things constantly. Originally published in 1980, the fifteen book set covered many terrific things, from dinosaurs to … Read More

  • Freddy Krueger Popcorn Recipe!

    I just published an enormous feature, listing ten reasons for you to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. Even though 90% of you have seen it a thousand times. Oh well. Maybe the feature will inspire you to make it a thousand and one? If it does, it’s important to do itRead More

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    Star Wars Presto Magix, from 1983!

    It’s been ten years (literally) since my last tribute to Presto Magix, and I think we’re long overdue for Round 2. Presto Magix was a series of “transfer sets” based on our favorite toons and movies. Think “Colorforms,” but more permanent. They’ve been out of production for a loooong t… Read More

  • Song, Video, Plant, Candy, Book.

    Hello, and welcome to Saturday. It’s a lazy one for me. I want to bury myself under ten blankets and do absolutely nothing. Instead I will attempt to write about a song, a video, a plant, a candy and a book. It may prove to be my undoing. :-) The Dino Drac Song! My pal BrianRead More

  • The Big League Chew Easter Egg!

    This isn’t something I’d normally do a standalone post about, but it just tickled me too much to cover in any other fashion. It’s an egg, see. An egg filled with Big League Chew. There are tons of similar Easter treats on sale, where oversized plastic eggs are filled with various candies of on… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #10: Assorted Awesomeness.

    Vintage Vending continues! I’m calling today’s batch “Assorted Awesomeness,” but the prizes really aren’t so hot. Actually, I would’ve skipped this one entirely… if not for one totally killer prize hiding among the weaklings. Take a look, and see if you can guess which it is. (I’ll t… Read More

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    Mad Mascots Vlog: Mr. Lymon!

    The Mad Mascots series continues, with THIS THING: I call him Mr. Lymon. He’s really old. Based on the phony fruit that gives Sprite its taste, Mr. Lymon makes everything right with the world. Unlike some of those other mascots who merely dance around product logos and call it a night, Mr. Lymon a… Read More

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    The Wilton Megasaurus Disaster.

    It sounded so easy, but nothing ever is. I’d been waiting for the right moment to make use of this, and last night seemed like it. Released in 1999, it’s Wilton’s “MEGASAURUS” cake pan! I was drawn to it for obvious reasons, but that won’t keep me from naming them anyway. One, it affords… Read More

  • 1980s Soda Gum!

    I’d been staring at a blank Word document for more than fifteen minutes, too crippled with anxiety to begin this review. The annoying thing was my inability to pinpoint the reason for this anxiety. My deadlines were met, my bills are all paid, and I’m not on fire. Then it hit me. About an hourRead More

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    Sparkling Star Shape Colgate Junior!

    After bringing up Aquafresh in the recent Happy Thoughts post, at least one commenter waxed nostalgic about Colgate’s ancient star-shaped toothpaste. That’s all the excuse I needed to write this tribute, because sisters and brothers, not only do I remember Colgate’s star-shaped toothpaste… I… Read More

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    Sprinkled Chips Ahoy Cookies!

    Let me get something off my chest. I loved Chips Ahoy cookies as a kid. So much, in fact, that I invented a new way to eat them. I’d chew one cookie into a disgusting paste, and then spread that paste over a fresh one. The result was a Chips Ahoy cookie topped with someRead More

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    Lava Planet Predator Action Figure.

    Today: A giant killer Jolly Rancher. Released in 1994, it’s Lava Planet Predator, part of Kenner’s sprawling line of Predator, Aliens and Aliens Vs. Predator toys. My interest in these characters hadn’t fully bloomed by mid ‘90s, but now that I’ve put in the research, wow, this was a fant… Read More

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    Highlights from Monster-Mania 24!

    We dropped by the Monster-Mania horror convention in Cherry Hill last night. It’s still going on as I type this, so check out the official site if anything below piques your interest. And it just might. Other responsibilities dictated that we could only spend a few hours there, which was fine, sin… Read More

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    Paas Mini-Monsters Easter Egg Kit!

    Easter is approaching. As longtime readers know, it’s far from my favorite holiday, owing to everything from its hideous pastel colors to the customary dish of a “leg of lamb”– something I find so atrocious that it took me a literal minute to even type it. But there are good things about… Read More

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    Kool-Aid Liquid Drink Mix!

    I haven’t written about Kool-Aid in such a long time. It’s making me itch and scratch. Today is my remedy. New Kool-Aid “Liquid” drink mixes are wonderfully convenient and wonderful in general. I treasure the protracted powder/sugar/water process, but the truth is, there isn’t always time … Read More

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    Happy Thoughts.

    This space is reserved exclusively for happy thoughts. Here are seven of mine. What are some of yours? Happy Thought #1: Aquafresh Toothpaste! Aquafresh, I will keep on loving you. You amazed me as a child and you still amaze me today. You are triple-colored toothpaste and I don’t know how you exi… Read More

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    Five Great Garth Things.

    Garth Algar was the best part of Wayne’s World. If you disagree with this, we have a problem. I saw the film on opening weekend back in ’92, in a theater packed with people who could not have loved it more. It was one of my all-time favorite moviegoer experiences. Everyone just had such aRead More

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    SPOTTED: Adventures in Babysitting Edition!

    Hey, remember Dino Drac’s “Spotted” series? Where we locate random fun things hiding in old TV shows and movies? Probably not, since I only made one entry. I think we’re long overdue for a second. Today’s find is from 1987’s Adventures in Babysitting, the kind-of-classic starring Elisabe… Read More

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    Crazy ’90s Bubble Gum!

    Before I drone on and on about old gum, some updates! 1. Join in Dino Drac’s Patchwork Project! Readers from around the globe are sending in extremely random images to be part of our virtual quilt, and judging from the submissions so far, this is going to be EPIC. There’s still time left to doo… Read More

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    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Chia Pet!

    I normally pay attention to Chia Pets only around Christmas, but since I was so busy a few months ago, I didn’t get to keep up the tradition. Maybe this is why I’ve felt so hollow. Thank God for the Ninja Turtles. Spotted just last night, it’s the official Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Chia Pe… Read More

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    Five Great Robots.

    I like robots. We all do. In my tween years, I made a sincere attempt at building one. Using an upside down goldfish bowl for the head, my robot was held together with ten rolls of masking tape, had five or six Micro Machines cars stuck to its bottom, and could only “speak” in JackieRead More

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    Awesomely Bad Bootleg Action Figures.

    We went back to the Englishtown flea market this past Sunday. Since it’s warmed up, it was much busier. There were countless vendors outside, running what could only be described as “junk tables.” It was as if hundreds of people banded together for an enormous yard sale, and as is always the c… Read More

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    Bloody Caesar.

    I made a Bloody Caesar. For the uninitiated, that’s essentially a Bloody Mary, but with Clamato replacing tomato juice. (Don’t run.) I’ve been inching my way towards this for years. While on a business trip in Toronto (in 2005, I think), some colleagues who became fast friends introduced me to… Read More

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    Survival Kit in a Sardine Can.

    (NOTE: There’s a new feature up, recapping one of my favorite episodes of the classic anthology series, Amazing Stories. It’s about a scary mirror monster. Read it! Or at least, read it after you’ve read about this sardine can filled with razors and candy.) I often daydream abo… Read More

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    Gremlins Collectible Figures!

    You know those little plastic “tables” that protect pizza cheese from cardboard boxes? They were invented in 1985. And just as Carmela Vitale was securing the patent, I was in Atlantic City, watching Maw and Paw torch my future. I often joke about how I grew up on the thinly-carpeted floors of A… Read More

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    Book Reports.

    Below are five book reports. Well, sort of. They’re books I care about, or at least books with personal stories attached to them. If you were expecting me to write serious critiques, I should remind you that I’m poorly educated and pretty lazy. Dracula, by Bram Stoker (1897) Bram Stoker’s Drac… Read More

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    Spooky Saturday Survey.

    There’s a new feature up, covering four random Pokemon foodstuffs from thirteen years ago. I admit that I’m not the Pokefan I once was, and that it’s become something I admire more from afar. Still, the featured snacks come from a time when I was all about Pokemon, and if you were into the fra… Read More

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    Topps Bubble Gum Juice Cartons!

    Oh yes. These things. Staples of my childhood diet! No kid could resist bubble gum rocks that poured from tiny juice cartons! Made by Topps in the early ‘80s, “juice gum” survived until long after I’d stopped paying attention. For all I know, they’re still out there somewhere. Let us pray.… Read More

  • What’s the weirdest thing in your wallet?

    I’ll never turn down the chance to go through someone’s wallet. It doesn’t matter if I like the person, hate the person or even really know the person. I just want to see what’s in there, and make a totally unfair analysis of the wallet’s owner based on its contents. I don’t think this i… Read More

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    Boys’ Life Magazine Ads.

    Boys’ Life is the official magazine of the Boy Scouts of America. It ruled my childhood. I was in the Scouts, but that had nothing to do with it. All of my grade school buddies were in the Scouts. It was just kind of a given that we would be. For us, it was essentiallyRead More

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    Snowmonster.

    I don’t like to waste a good snowfall. When we got that blizzard last night, I knew I’d spend today turning snow into icy hot Dino Drac content. And I did. I’d preemptively Googled for “things to do with snow” (that was literally my search string), ultimately locating an eHow t… Read More

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    Polly-O Pizzeria String Cheese.

    Today’s youth may take string cheese for granted, but me? No way. Never. I knew a world without string cheese, and it was as black as tar. Polly-O String Cheese came out when I was still in elementary school, and while I’m not motivated enough to do the math, that was, suffice to say, aRead More

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    Mad Mascots: Clanky Syrup Spaceman!

    Kids of the ‘60s loved astronauts arguably more than anything else, thanks largely to the Space Race. A quick browse through any photo collection of ‘60s toys will show an unmistakable lean on spacemen and rocket ships, and really, the old cliche of kids “wanting to become astronautsR… Read More

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    Nintendo Trophy Figures.

    This is a Nintendo Trophy Figure, from 1988. I know it doesn’t look like much, but remember, there weren’t many Nintendo toys at all at that time. These things were gold-by-default. It was a surprisingly large collection, with characters representing three of the era’s biggest games: Supe… Read More

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    The Best Chest.

    Today is my birthday. The last few minutes of it, anyway. I’m 34. It feels outrageously old. As some of you know, I’m weird about birthdays. Actually, I’m much weirder about birthdays than I’ve ever let on. When it’s time to sing the birthday song to someone, I hide in the back and pretend… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #9: Las Vegas!

    In today’s video, the Vintage Vending series continues with a trip to Las Vegas: Though you might expect a “Las Vegas” prize assortment to have everything to do with casinos and vacations, this one doesn’t. No, this one comes with a plastic machine gun. …but it’s not like such deviations… Read More

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    Mad Mascots: Trump!

    Remember when I wrote about Bigg Mixx? I think we should turn that into a series. A series about mad mascots. There are many bewilderingly beautiful brand mascots deserving of short tributes and crudely assembled image collages, and it is my intention to give them what’s owed! …let’s start wi… Read More

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    A post filled with random things.

    It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon. I’m sitting in front of the television, but it isn’t on. All I see is the vague, smeary reflection of me, looking strangely demonic. I’m drinking coffee from a mug that says “coffee” on it. Next to me is a cat that wants to eat people food. I can writeRead More

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    Fake Gazpacho Recipe.

    Gazpacho is a cold vegetable soup, something like tomato soup, but even more like chopped vegetables with tomato juice thrown on top. At least, the best kinds are. Here’s how to make a super easy and quick gazpacho, though it comes with the admission that this technically isn’t gazpacho at all. … Read More

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    Vlog: Popeye Shredded Bubble Gum!

    A new feature is up, covering ten more old comic book ads. Good ones, too. Everything from Game Genies to Brach’s Rocks. Read it. …or read it after you watch today’s video, in which I examine Popeye Shredded Bubble Gum. Made in 1981 and likely inspired by Big League Chew, Popeye’s gum has n… Read More

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    Five Random ’80s Action Figures, Part 2!

    Okay, so there’s this huge indoor/outdoor flea market in Englishtown that I’ve been going to for like, twenty years now. It’d been a long time since my previous visit, so yesterday afternoon, we drove out to see what treasures awaited. Turned out, not many treasures awaited. It’s the off sea… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #8: Small Parts A’Plenty!

    This is a special video edition of Vintage Vending, because I am just so tired of writing. …though I guess I should write a little, for the sake of Google hits from people searching for “fuzzy bear brooches” and “birds with tools for heads.” This time, the prize assortment is completely ra… Read More

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    Crazy Good Multi Movie Horror DVD.

    Omigawd. This is the best DVD set ever, or close to it. You’ve seen those “multi movie” horror packs before, and while this is thematically no different, the included movies are JUST SO INCREDIBLY GREAT. This is total instant party material – a cavalcade of cult classics with a heavy lean on… Read More

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    5 Grisly Things About Living in a Medieval Castle.

    I’m obsessed with medieval castles, but they were scary. Aside from the lack of every conceivable convenience that we now take for granted, life was just so much more brutal during the Middle Ages. Yeah, duh, but I don’t just mean that in an “enemy invaders with big swords” sort of way. Dail… Read More

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    Play-Doh Valentines Bag!

    Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and with it, tons of new candies and novelties in shades that fall somewhere between bubble gum pink and horse blood red. I normally don’t pay too close attention to these things, but the 2013 haul is pretty interesting. I’ll cover a few of my finds between… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #7: Gemstones!

    Vintage Vending continues, with ROCKS. This is not going to be my most popular review. I ain’t gonna front. I love this. I love, love, love this. Polished stones always thrill me, even when they’re presented as tacky jewelry. I would’ve been all over these prizes as a kid, and probably still n… Read More

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    Unboxing Rocky Road Cereal, from 1986.

    I hadn’t intended for this to become an ’80s week on Dino Drac. It just worked out that way. And now I shall make it official by opening a box of cereal from 1986. I don’t know exactly when Rocky Road Cereal went out of production, but it did, and people miss it. Not allRead More

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    Charms of the 1980s, Reexamined.

    From kindergarten through the third grade, I don’t think a school day went by that I didn’t see at least six dozen of those plastic “charms.” You know, the ones with the little bells attached, typically clipped onto long neon chains? This photo tells the story better than I can: These things… Read More

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    Five Random ’80s Action Figures.

    Below are thoughts about five random ‘80s action figures. Well, random to you, but very important to me. I chose these five because blah blah blah, something something, who cares, nobody reads intros. I’ll just use this space to practice the ol’ text whistle. Whhhrrreeeeeee. Sooowoooiiiiii… Read More

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    Nintendo Cereal System, from 1988!

    Breakfast peaked in 1988. You’d need a strong argument to believe otherwise. Nintendo Cereal System was its name, and according to everyone who was appropriately-aged in ’88, it was the stuff of the gods. I can think of dozens of cereals I’ve liked more, but never did I NEED one more t… Read More

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    Freddy’s Greatest Hits Album!

    I picked up Freddy’s Greatest Hits nearly a decade ago, and I’ve been listening to it constantly ever since. Sure, I originally bought it for the “novelty” potential, and admit that the first time I heard it, I cackled over the complete ridiculousness of a Freddy Krueger pop album with a vag… Read More

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    Vintage Vending #6: Moon Monster!

    It’s been ages since the last Vintage Vending post. Let’s fix that. Pinpointing an exact date is impossible. All I can be sure of is that these came out in the ‘80s. The “Moon Monster” title was just their way of skirting copyright issues, because these are obviously Godzilla toys. Hell, t… Read More

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    Weird 1993 Photo Album Thing.

    While cleaning out some old bins, I came across this photo album. Pretty sure it’s from 1993. Only around a fifth of its pages were used, and only half of those pages were used for actual photos. I vaguely recall putting this together, and it’s jusssst weird enough to be worth archiving here. Fo… Read More

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    Chef Boyardee’s Mini Dinosaurs!

    It’s been a rough month. I needed something simple and pleasant to ease my way back into the wonderful world of low-level blogging. I think pasta shaped like dinosaurs is just the ticket. Me and Chef Boyardee don’t cross paths often nowadays. It only happens during those rare times when I’m fo… Read More

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    Goodfellas / Staten Island Connection.

    Goodfellas is one of my favorite movies, duh. I can’t imagine that I’ve seen it anything less than a hundred times. Yesterday was one of those days when the only thing that seemed right with the world was my couch, so that’s where I lived, searching for shows and movies that would require abso… Read More

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    BFCDAW #14: Gumix the Gum Monster.

    10:30 AM: I’m at work. So of course I’m mapping out ways to turn gum into a hideous monster. That’s the formula, as I see it. I will create Gumix as soon as I get home. Check Dino Drac later tonight, because this is going to be HOT. 4 PM UPDATE: I got the gum! IRead More

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    Vlog: Christmas Morning, 2012.

    Christmas Eve was the usual unbridled insanity, but for once, we didn’t need to be anywhere on Christmas Day. I’m going to spend the afternoon taped to the couch, subsisting on cold leftovers and endless airings of A Christmas Story. Just the way it ought to be. I hope you’re having a good one… Read More

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    The Christmas Flamingo Cometh.

    I have to imagine that this will be my last big purchase of the Christmas season. I’m going out with a pink bang: It’s a light-up flamingo in a Santa hat, and it pairs oh so nicely with that stupid dinosaur. This is its story, in around five minutes: The people behind this flamingo apparentlyRead More

  • 15

    Ancient Christmas Appetizers!

    This morning, I dived deep into my collection of ancient recipe books, looking for the kind of snack ideas that no book published after 1975 would dare include. After choosing my “subjects,” it was time to gather the ingredients. Good God, I spent a fortune. I’m not sure what happened, since I… Read More

  • 16

    Christmas Cat Litter?

    Meet Kitten. She often tries to kill me, but when she likes me, she really likes me. Kitten has made good days better and horrible days livable. She’s a great cat. All cats are great. Even the terrible ones. They’re smart, they’re funny, and if you howl at just the right pitch, they’ll think… Read More

  • 17

    BFCDAW #13: Christmas on Ker-Zerzenic.

    Between Christmas fast approaching and the world possibly ending, I’m not going to have many more chances to post bad holiday art. So, here goes: On Ker-Zerzenic, Christmas is a little different. Santa is a befuddled, three-eyed snake creature. Snowflakes fall in white and pink. Then there are… Read More

  • 18

    Martini Matt.

    I had no reason to buy this. I own lots of martini glasses and several cocktail shakers, so $9 was a lot to pay for stale crackers. Maybe I fell prey to the same thing I always fall prey to during the last week before Christmas: That sick feeling that the world will turn blackRead More

  • 19

    The Panettone Cake Monster.

    Dudes. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of panettone, but in my family, no Christmas is complete without one on the table. Even if nobody touches it. Few ever do. It’s basically bread masquerading as cake. It’s sweet, faintly fruity, very Italian, and eating it is like trying to chew throug… Read More

  • 20

    Vlog: Top-Drawer Christmas Vacation Stuff.

    I wouldn’t normally post two videos so close together, but I think the combination of the background music and my trademark five-minute pauses make this one especially suitable for late night weekend viewing. Behold, top-drawer thingamajigs from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation: PS, you hav… Read More

  • 21

    Vlog: 1991 Christmas Crunch w/ Mystery Gift!

    Yes – more Christmas Crunch content! Don’t complain. I have a good reason: This is a sealed box of 1991 Christmas Crunch, with a SURPRISE GIFT BOX glued to the top. What treasures will we find inside? It will only take nine minutes to find out: After filming, I was left with a box ofRead More

  • 22

    Awesome Xmas Junk Food!

    A post like this needs no introduction. You know what you’re in for. But I still feel compelled to write one. That wretched header image will seem excessive without a small army of paragraphs beneath it. So, I’ll use this space to share my feelings about pomegranates. In summary: I love them. I … Read More

  • 23

    BFCDAW #12: Karen and Shirley.

    Here’s Karen Carpenter and Shirley Manson, singing a duet at an outdoor Christmas concert. Explanation: For the past week, I’ve spent my entire commuting hours listening to nothing but The Carpenters’ Christmas album and a Garbage greatest hits compilation. Garbage broke big when I was in high… Read More

  • 24

    1995 Christmas Crunch with HOLIDAY FROSTING.

    You might think that I’ve exhausted the well of Christmas Crunch posts, but nuh uh. I may have written about that cereal fifty times, but I never told you about the time it came with cake frosting. This super special version of Christmas Crunch came out in 1995, and if not for Coolio, would haveRead More

  • 25

    BFCDAW #11: Good looking cookies.

    Today is busy. I’m only BCFDAW’ing because I need to push that eel sushi off of the main page as soon as possible. There. Much better. A palatable set of Christmas cookies, purchased for WAY TOO MUCH MONEY from one of those design-your-own-salad places. ($9 for two cookies, and no, I wouldn’t … Read More

  • 26

    BFCDAW #10: The Christmas Sushi Roll.

    There’s a new feature up, listing ten strange and wonderful things I want from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. (Including Aunt Bethany’s cat food Jell-O. Yes.) For today’s BCFDAW, I’d like to introduce you to the “Christmas roll.” Several of New York’s sushi joints are offerin… Read More

  • 27

    Five good things from the Christmas Fair!

    Wow, what a handsome header image that is. “He worked really hard, Grandma.” If you read me back on X-E, you know all about this Christmas fair. The one with the “basket raffles.” I’ve gone to this church-hosted Christmas fair every year for as long as I can remember. It can be a cruel mis… Read More

  • 28

    BFCDAW #9: Cheers, trunky.

    It’s Friday. Fantastic freakin’ Friday. I’m so looking forward to having time to put more on the site than bad doodles and pictures of plastic shovels. But, since it is not the weekend yet, I must do what is necessary to survive: That’s a Christmas tree trunk. You know, the part you slice of… Read More

  • 29

    BFCDAW #8: Merry Montage!

    Over on Dino Drac’s Facebook page, several readers obliged me with suggestions for a painted-at-work Christmas montage. Here’s what I had time for. (Actually, in no way, shape or form did I have time for this – but I did it anyway. You can’t fire a freelancer. You can only pretend he died.) … Read More

  • 30

    BFCDAW #7: How I feel today.

    I could blame the four hours of sleep, but it’s more fun to blame you.… Read More

  • 31

    Tabasco Bloody Mary Gift Set!

    Cheap perfumes, beef logs and s’mores kits. Every December, the cavalcade of crappy gift sets comes back out of hiding, charming the great many of us who refuse to put real work into locating decent Christmas presents. They’re considered “bad” presents almost by default, no matter what’s i… Read More

  • 32

    Christmas Creature.

    I made this. I made this using nothing but glue, a hunk of Styrofoam and a $5 “craft value pack” from Michaels. What should I name him?… Read More

  • 33

    Christmas Cookie Crisp, from 1991!

    Christmas Crunch may be the most known “holiday edition cereal,” but friends, there are OTHERS. Or at least, there were others. While Cap’n Crunch surfed the red-and-green wave to obscene heights of glory, other cereals tried to do the same. Post’s Pebbles cereals and General Mills’ Lu… Read More

  • 34

    42″ Dinosaur Dracula, Christmas Edition.

    Thank you, Home Depot. Thank you for selling an animated holiday Tyrannosaur. One devil medallion and a cut-up t-shirt later, and I’m now the proud owner of a 42” Dinosaur Dracula, Christmas edition. Life is weird, and good. Mad, hysterical love to the few of you who tipped me off. And to the gu… Read More

  • 35

    The M.U.S.C.L.E. Hard Knockin’ Rockin’ Ring!

    It was Christmas Day, 1986. Maybe ’87. Let’s say ’87. Thank God for my friend across the street. As mentioned before, my family celebrates on Christmas Eve and celebrates it hard. Christmas Day was never much of anything in our house, and in some ways, it was actually depressing. T… Read More

  • 36

    Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts.

    Along with one or two returning holiday flavors, Kellogg’s has blessed us with all-new Frosted Marshmallow Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts, thereby increasing their streak of Pop-Tarts flavors with extremely long names to an impressive 267. Okay, so they’re not as “showy” as Kellogg’s previous off… Read More

  • 37

    Times Square’s Puffy Hustlers.

    One nice thing about my current workload is the chance to see Times Square at its Christmassy finest. There are lights, trees and blaring Christmas music at every turn, and I’m always reminding myself to stop, look around and soak it all in. And then, when I do, someone bumps into me and calls me<… Read More

  • 38

    BFCDAW #5: The Albino Ferret of Christmas.

    I met the Albino Ferret of Christmas in 1986. One of my then-in-college brothers was home for the holidays, and with him were his two pet ferrets. Thinking back, I have no idea how he got away with dorm room ferrets, but kids never considered the particulars. One looked like an everyday “normal”… Read More

  • 39

    Horde Prime Revealed!

    Longtime readers know that I’m a huge fan of the He-Man & She-Ra Christmas Special, from 1985. (Officially titled He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special, but that shit’s clunky.) I watched it on that long ago December night with my older brother, and to this day, we still quote it. I… Read More

  • 40

    BFCDAW #5: Honey Balls.

    Today’s painting depicts HONEY BALLS. (And also a candy cane bee.) Honey Balls are marble-sized bits of fried dough, soaked with honey and topped with colored sprinkles. My mother brings them to all of our Christmas parties, and she’s been at it for decades. I despise the things, but God hel… Read More

  • 41

    BFCDAW #4: Crabs of Christmas Island.

    More Bullshit Filler Content Devised At Work! This time, I painted the famous mass migration the Christmas Island red crabs. Christmas Island is on the short list of places I need to visit at least once before I die. (It has to be before — that much I am adamant about.) Between these crabs, th… Read More

  • 42

    1998′s Bedrock Blizzard Pebbles Cereals!

    When you hear “Fruity Pebbles” and “Christmas” mentioned together, it’s usually in reference to that classic commercial – the one where no less than Santa himself persuaded Fred to give Barney cereal. But Post’s Pebbles brands did more Christmasing than that! Look no further than 1998… Read More

  • 43

    BFCDAW #3: Snobot.

    Read More

  • 44

    Holiday Hodgepodge #2!

    HEY: There’s a new feature up, highlighting fifteen treasures from the 1998 Sears Wish Book! Another busy week lies ahead, but if the rumors are true, Dino Drac should be kicking the holidays into high gear by the end of it. I hope so, bruddah. You complete me. Here’s another attempt to make… Read More

  • 45

    Holiday Hodgepodge!

    It’s 10:55. If I don’t want to be a raving lunatic tomorrow, I have exactly one hour to get this post written, edited and published. Gonna have to rush. I’ll do my breast to avoid mistakes. In tonight’s Holiday Hodgepodge: Five Christmassy things, just in time for Thanksgiving! #1: Santa Bro… Read More

  • 46

    Christmas Crunch is back!

    Before I gush about cereal, a quick note. I’m on a gig right now, which started small but has grown into something unfathomably huge. In many ways, that is good, but it hasn’t left me with much time to write about nonsense on the Internet. I originally thought we’d be wrapping in December, and… Read More

  • 47

    Crazy Holiday Pringles!

    Pringles. A brand of ultrathin potato crisps, sold in canisters that convert nicely into coin banks. All of you already knew this. According to the ad slogan, “once you pop, the fun don’t stop.” Until recently, that was probably true. Even the worst Pringles flavor was still pretty good, and … Read More

  • 48

    Snow Day!

    Hello there, Giant Surprise Snowstorm. I shall pay tribute to you with cocoa dust and tiny marshmallows: It’s still snowing as I write this. This is no bullshit storm, either. These are big flakes, and they’re actually sticking. I love snowstorms, even if now isn’t the time for one. My city is… Read More

  • 49

    “How’s the turtle, Mrs. Stubbs?”

    If you’ve never seen My Blue Heaven, please don’t take that as a cue to skip this post. This is less about an old movie and more about RIDICULOUSLY CUTE BABY TURTLES, and only a fool would miss those. …but of course, since I so rarely get the opportunity to do so, let me atRead More

  • 50

    Holiday Chips Ahoy Cookies!

    I’d originally intended to bridge Dino Drac’s Halloween and Christmas seasons with some non-holiday “neutral” posts, and while I’ll still probably do that, this couldn’t wait. Google tells me that Holiday Chips Ahoy aren’t new for 2012, but tonight was the first time I’d even… Read More

  • 1

    Shrunken Apple Head’s Birthday!

    I’m on my horrible laptop, swiping power from a friend’s generator. The storm knocked out our electricity, and it might not be back for a week. (Fortunately, that’s all the storm knocked out. Our problems are trivial compared to the total insanity surrounding us. Good luck to everyone who was … Read More

  • 2

    Madd Matt’s Halloween Party.

    I was going to save this for later, but there is no way I’ll have power later. Thus, you will suffer now. Happy Halloween! If the storm doesn’t destroy me, there’s still more to come.… Read More

  • 3

    Pumpkin Spice Philadelphia Cream Cheese.

    It’s 7 in the morning. I haven’t been to sleep yet. Instead, I’m writing about cream cheese, rushing to beat the sunrise, because it will crack my skin and turn me to ash. I don’t have a choice. According to the news, I’m going to wake up underwater. If I want to tell the worldRead More

  • 4

    Roseanne’s TUNNEL OF TERROR.

    Some of you may skip this review out of sheer hatred of All Things Roseanne, but if you’re into Halloween, avoiding Roseanne a huge mistake. Few have done Halloween better than her. I started watching the TV series mainly out of necessity. Growing up, remember how the last cartoon would air at 4:3… Read More

  • 5

    Facebook Halloween Games!

    Admission: I play too many Facebook games. Way too many. I’ve lost countless hours to those horrible slots, bingo rounds and bubble puzzles. Though I suppose there are worse ways to waste my life. For example, I could spend all my free time painting obscene anti-religion signs using tar and bl… Read More

  • 6

    Madd Matt reviews the Inflatable Skeleton Cooler.

    One of my favorite finds of the season was an inflatable cooler, in the shape of a coffin, with a demonic skeleton bathing inside. Fifteen bucks seemed a little steep, but if pressed, I could not name another coffin-shaped skeleton-boosted cooler that costs less. It’s perfect for parties or as an … Read More

  • 7

    Tales from the Darkside Fansite Tribute!

    This is a tribute to a Tales from the Darkside fansite that hasn’t been updated since 2005. No joke, it really is! As of this writing, the Angelfire-hosted site is still online. It’s ancient and it looks ancient, but to me, it was – and to some degree, still is – a perfect representation of<… Read More

  • 8

    The Halloween Corn Maze!

    My city’s pumpkin patches aren’t really “pumpkin patches.” They’re the same places that sell Christmas trees in December and flowers in May. (I think that’s when they start selling flowers, anyway.) By July, expect nothing but flags. These little outdoor “stores” serve strictly seaso… Read More

  • 9

    The Frito-Lay Frankenstein Chip Sack!

    I know they’re just regular chips in a special package, but come on: I couldn’t say no to this. A huge sack of snack-sized chip bags, made to look like an enormous Frankenstein head. Given that this monster is capable of fitting six sealed bags of chips in his mouth, I’d estimate his total… Read More

  • 10

    Madd Matt reviews an 18″ Michael Myers doll.

    It’s 8 AM. I haven’t been to bed yet. Really reminded me of the old, old, OLD X-E days, when overnight “shifts” were the norm, and days could be slept into virtual nonexistence. I rarely have the chance to fall this far off the grid anymore, and it was fun to rekindle my love ofRead More

  • 11

    Rice Krispies Treats Pumpkin Kit!

    Thanks again to everyone who ordered a Dino Drac Halloween Print. I was pleasantly surprised with how well they sold, and from all I’ve heard, people seem to dig them. Still have some left, so if you want in, this is the week! In other, more pressing news, I made pumpkin-shaped Rice Krispies Treat… Read More

  • 12

    Vlog: “Horri-Ballz” Monster Doll Review.

    My kind and generous buddy, DJ D, sent me an incredible Halloween care package with all sorts of goofy/great stuff inside. Including this! His name is Marzian, and he’s one of the Horri-Ballz – furry alien monsters who make strange noises when you beat them up. Like Tribbles, but a hundred times… Read More

  • 13

    5 Halloween Things!

    Halloween is fast approaching, and I have so much wonderful stuff left to cover. This post aims to decrease the number of bullets on my Must-Write-About list by five. I’ll feel better about the world when it’s done. SpongeBob Plastic Cup with Straw: I could not have fewer uses for this, but for … Read More

  • 14

    McDonald’s Scooby-Doo Halloween Pails!

    For the third year in a row, McDonald’s brought back the ol’ trick-or-treat pails. Think of them as the spiritual successors to the “McBoo” pails of the ‘80s. What they lack in charm, they make up for in sooo many stickers! 2012’s pails have a Scooby-Doo theme. This surprised me. I w… Read More

  • 15

    Haunted Quaker Oats Castle.

    Guys. I turned a can of Quaker Oats into a haunted castle. I don’t know what inspired me to do this. Maybe I stole the idea from someone else. If I remember who, I will seek out and thank that person profusely. Turning an oatmeal container into Halloween art just completely made my night. MyRead More

  • 16

    Halloween Lunchables YES!

    I can’t believe it. It’s finally happened. It’s taken years, but it’s finally happened. We got ‘em, folks. We got Halloween Lunchables. You have NO IDEA how long I’ve waited for this. This is my tenth year doing the Halloween Countdown, and during almost every prior edition, I looked for… Read More

  • 17

    Vlog: “Big Frank” Talking Monster Pal!

    Hey: The Creepy Commercials Countdown has been updated with Slimer and a three-eyed ghost. Today’s vlog is about Big Frank, “the talking monster pal kids love to fix!” Made by Playskool in 1992, Big Frank dresses like an inmate and has a bunch of tools hidden in his head. The video is barely c… Read More

  • 18

    Halloween Milk?

    Before we dive into dairy, how about a quick shill? International orders are now accepted for the Dino Drac Halloween prints! I’ve also updated the page with some nicer photos. Thanks to everyone who ordered one so far! Sent out the first big batch this afternoon, and boy, did the people behind me… Read More

  • 19

    Count Chocula Treats!

    Hey, have you been keeping up with the Creepy Commercials Countdown? You probably should. Clarence Clemons is there. Now here’s Count Chocula: I saw them in Target, and I flipped. They were on a rack right by the registers, but one of the store employees, who I guess had assumed the role of  … Read More

  • 20

    Invasion of the Scarecrows!

    Imagine my luck! On the exact weekend that I go to New Hampshire, New Hampshire gets invaded by hundreds of insane scarecrows. The Scarecrows on the Common event occurred in the city of Jaffrey, and God, they are FOOLS if this isn’t in their tourist brochure. I know you’ll think I’m ex… Read More

  • 21

    Freddy Krueger Fireworks!

    I spent the weekend in New Hampshire, where the air was crisp, the leaves were golden, and the drive to get there was six and a half fucking hours. I’d never been to New Hampshire before this trip, but now I’m an expert. Did you know that there are a lot of antique stores inRead More

  • 22

    Pumpkin Decorating Kits!

    I normally don’t go for department store label stuff, but Target’s “Pumpkin Decorating Kits” called out to me. Were I to believe the photos, they were going to let me turn small pumpkins into full-bodied monsters. Upon seeing their $5 price tags, I was disappointed. If my brain had a mouth, … Read More

  • 23

    The real Dinosaur Dracula?

    Okay, I guess I need to weigh in on this! Dozens of times over the past several hours (okay, maybe one dozen times), I’ve been sent links to the big news: “Dinosaur Dracula” is no longer a figment of my imagination. It’s a real goddamned thing. A real life Dinosaur Dracula. Here’s the scoo… Read More

  • 24

    Vlog: The CVS Animated Zombie!

    FYI: The Creepy Commercials Countdown has been updated for 10/2. Go read about Michael Myers! As for this guy, he’s a 28” inch animated zombie. I found him at CVS for 20 bucks. We have a lot of CVS pharmacies around here, and I’ve seen legions of these in every last one. Finally, I couldRead More

  • 25

    Halloween Soda Cans!

    Just launched a special feature: The Creepy Commercials Countdown! A nice guy named Larry donated a slew of ancient Halloween-themed TV commercials, and in the spirit of making mountains out of molehills, I’m turning them into a month-long event. Every day during October, a new (old) creepy commer… Read More

  • 26

    The 2012 Halloween Mood Table!

    Happy October! The Halloween season is officially here. There’s exactly one month to soak up everything it has to offer. Strange candy, hayrides, and masks that smell like toxic chemicals. Even the gloomiest mofos would have to admit that October is one of the most bearable months of the year.… Read More

  • 27

    Dollar Tree’s Halloween Masks!

    Wow, September is almost over. That’s scary. Hope you’re enjoying Dino Drac’s Halloween Countdown so far. Bigger things are coming in October! When I went to Dollar Tree last week, I also picked up a bunch of masks. They’d be pretty terrible if put to use as non-ironic Halloween costumes… Read More

  • 28

    RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks!

    My friend “D” mailed me a spooky care package, and among its incredible contents was one of RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks. The one that looks like a pumpkin. My first thought? “Pretty cool.” My second thought? To run out and buy the remaining two Halloween Color Blanks. And my t… Read More

  • 29

    September 25th, 1993.

    Today is September 25th, 2012. And this, a page from one of my old journals, was written exactly nineteen years ago. If I have things straight, I would’ve been in the ninth grade. A frosh in high school. God. It’s one of the few pages I feel comfortable sharing. Even so, I couldn’t bring mysel… Read More

  • 30

    Venus Flytrap Bog of Doom!

    Yesterday morning, we drove out to God Knows Where, searching for some New Jersey farmers’ market I remembered visiting last year. I swore it was only twenty minutes away, but Sunday’s events proved otherwise. Eventually, we found it. And, hell yes, they still had the same assortment of insanely… Read More

  • 31

    Sticky, Squishy Pumpkin Parts Kit!

    My adventures in idiot blogging have brought many pumpkins to their doom. There was the time I hammered Lite Brite pegs into one. Another time, I turned a pumpkin into the Trix Rabbit. Then there was the afternoon when one grew a clay face and Yoda arms. This year, I hope to bring the totalRead More

  • 32

    The Icebusters Sno-Cone Machine.

    Today, you’re going to see the spirits of the dead run a lemonade stand. TGIF! Okay, so it isn’t a lemonade stand. It’s a snow cone stand. The Icebusters Sno-Cone Machine, made by Lanard in 1985, was an incredibly strange attempt to steal shine from the Ghostbusters craze. I’m not being a br… Read More

  • 33

    Deadly Dollar Store Finds: 2012 Edition.

    I had five bucks, and Dollar Tree was right there. It’s funny. I’ve been doing the Countdown forever, and in years past, Dollar Tree was always my final resort. A last ditch effort to catch the Halloween spirit by way of frivolous spending, after every other store in a twenty mile radius let me… Read More

  • 34

    Vlog: Blurp Balls Toy Review.

    His name is Count Heave-a-Heart. He’s one of the Blurp Balls. His ocular veins look like the letter “Y” repeated thirteen times. Very rare toys with a cult following that just won’t die, the Blurp Balls arrived in 1991, and were essentially uber versions of Madballs. Get the who… Read More

  • 35

    Horror DVD Menu Screens!

    Tonight, we pay tribute to horror DVD menu screens. Somebody has to. They’re great. I own well over a hundred scary movie DVDs, and since I have the tendency to buy copies of films I’ve already seen ten thousand times, the real thrill, and frequently, the only thrill, is seeing how the productio… Read More

  • 36

    Marshmallow Pumpkin Patch Incident.

    After this post, I promise not to make weird things out of Halloween food for at least a few days. I know I’ve been doing it too much. It’s not like such features are turning me into an Internet superstar, so I must assume that there’s some deeply buried psychological need at play. The firstRead More

  • 37

    Hubba Bubba’s Halloween Squeeze Pops!

    I’m currently working on a big ass feature. It has the potential to be great, but it also has the potential to be terrible, so I’m gonna need some time to wrap that baby up. With panic setting in over the thought of a Monday with no new content, I dived into my stock ofRead More

  • 38

    Eggo Seasons Pumpkin Spice Waffles!

    I’ve been waiting for Eggo to make “Halloween waffles” for nearly as long as I’ve been doing the Countdown. I guess my feeble attempt to summon them by way of a voodoo crock pot was more effective than I imagined it would be, because finally, THEY ARE HERE. You know, I’d seen mentions of t… Read More

  • 39

    Vintage Vending #5: Frankenstein’s Spare Parts!

    I’m in a good mood today. It’s important to use good moods for good things. I can think of no better way to channel my positivity than by describing fake vomit. On with another edition of Vintage Vending! Frankenstein’s Spare Parts Collection came out in ’89, though it looks decades older t… Read More

  • 40

    Fishdom Spooky Splash Game Review.

    A series of unlikely keywords led me to Fishdom Spooky Splash, made by Playrix. It’s an easy game with a Halloween twist, where your goal is to fill a virtual fish tank with all manner of macabre ornaments. Further research tells me that there are other “Fishdom” games, and that this is just a… Read More

  • 41

    Scribble.

    I need to put this scribble here. It’s a pointless scribble. It contains no hidden messages. It’s literally just a scribble. I have some Dino Drac hangups that I want to nip in the bud. I just edited this post to remove an explanation of those hangups, because they’re not really re… Read More

  • 42

    Mars Halloween Candy Pails!

    I doubt that more than three of you remember them, but I don’t care. These candy pails, distributed by Mars back in ’89, meant the world to me. Even today, I look at them and see everything good about Halloween. I can’t remember the specifics of the promotion, but it went something like this: … Read More

  • 43

    Madd Matt Reviews Halloween Grow Capsules.

    I don’t know if I’ve led a life worth living, but someday, when there’s nothing left to lose, I’ll have a great story to tell. FYI: Madd Matt was wrong on a few counts in this video. Technically, Leviathan isn’t from a moon of Saturn, or Jupiter. Leviathan is from Hell.… Read More

  • 44

    Sky Bar’s Zombie Food!

    It was a dark and stormy night. Actually, it was a clear and sunny afternoon. But it felt like night, thanks to a dark inner glow created in an ancient copy of Adobe Photoshop. And because ZOMBIES. One of the zombies bore a striking resemblance to Michael Jackson. Too close to be a coincidence. Whet… Read More

  • 45

    Dinosaur Dracula’s Halloween Art Expo!

    (PAGES: 1  2  3  4  5  6 7 8 9 10) Guys, you didn’t let me down. I think it’s safe to say that Dinosaur Dracula’s Halloween Art Expo was a rousing success. Dozens upon dozens of you participated, with no promises of prizes, kudos or anything else. You rule, and so do your fuckingRead More

  • 46

    Candy Corn Oreo Cookies!

    Unless you spent all of Friday completely Internet-free, you’ve heard the news. The kings and queens of Nabisco must be dancing, because the entire world has become positively drunk with glee over their latest offering: Candy. Corn. Oreos. Like I wasn’t going to hunt these down the second I hear… Read More

  • 47

    Vlog: The Cloneheads Alien Costume Kit!

    Imagine a costume that gave you two extra heads, gold skin and a bib with the planet Saturn on it, for one low price. It sounds impossible, but in 1983, it happened. Distributed by Spearhead Industries, the Cloneheads collection was a series of inflatable Halloween costumes that, among other things,… Read More

  • 48

    The ORIGINAL Halloween Countdown, from 2003.

    Dinosaur Dracula’s 1st Halloween Countdown is more of a reset, of course, since I’ve been doing this thing for ten goddamned years. The first Halloween Countdown, back on X-Entertainment, started on September 18th, 2003. The 40 or so articles within it were often rushed, often crude and often de… Read More

  • 49

    Spookylicious Pop-Tarts Are Back!

    I was glad to see Spookylicious Pop-Tarts make their triumphant return. Even if Kellogg’s has only been at it for a few years, Halloween Pop-Tarts have already become one of my absolute needs for a great season. The saga began in 2010, when Choc-o-Lantern Pop-Tarts were introduced. Then, in 2011, … Read More

  • 50

    Vintage Vending #4: Wacky Goulies!

    If you thought the Vintage Vending series was taking a break during the Countdown, you have no future as a psychic. Some of those old prizes absolutely scream “Halloween,” and if you think I’m reaching, just take a look at this one: A macabre mix of Madballs and Ghoulies! Meet the Wacky Goulie… Read More

  • 51

    Matchbox Con-Nec-Tors from 1990!

    If you were reading X-E last November, you might remember my tribute to Matchbox’s Con-Nect-Ables, a line of plastic cars which broke into pieces that could be mixed-and-matched to create bizarre vehicles that were part truck, part helicopter. If I had to guess, nobody came here expecting that ope… Read More

  • 52

    Cadbury Screme Eggs!

    If my hunts so far have been any indication, we’re in for one hell of a season on the Halloween candy front. So many new goodies for 2012! I’m actually frightened by how many I’ve located so far. I mean, it’s only September 4th. As much as I love giving Halloween two full months toRead More

  • 53

    Halloween Bread?

    Pepperidge Farm may have peaked with their Goldfish crackers, but this comes close. Keep an eye out for a new pair of autumn “Swirl” breads, in the style of raisin bread, but with fruity bits that are far more appropriate for a season filled with death and monsters. Yes! On the left, Car… Read More

  • 54

    Dino Drac’s 1st Ever Halloween Countdown!

    A balloon. A blurry picture of an orange balloon, with crude jack o’ lantern features drawn on. This could only mean one thing. And it probably explains why the site is all orange and purple. It must be Dinosaur Dracula’s… The Halloween Countdown began on X-E, back in 2003. As much as I’d l… Read More

  • 55

    Vintage Vending #3: Button-Button!

    I know you were expecting a full tour of Iguana’s house, but I haven’t had a chance to complete it yet. My printer isn’t being cooperative, and without going into detail on why I need a printer to build a house for a paper lizard, I assure you that I absolutely do. So that willRead More

  • 1

    Make your own Toucan Sam!

    Before today, it’d been a long time since my last box of Froot Loops. Don’t get me wrong. Froot Loops is great, but for me, it was always a rebound. If one of the cereals I really liked did something to piss me off, I’d slide back to Froot Loops for a bit, and then,Read More

  • 2

    Vintage Vending #2: Sticky Stuff!

    Today we recall a true old faithful of the twenty-five cent prize arena: Sticky toys that stuck to things with their stickiness. It’s Sticky Stuff! A collection of gooey doodads that will, quote, discolor paint! Yessss! The photo looks bad, but rest assured, it’s just as blurry and crude in real… Read More

  • 3

    Vintage Vending #1: Random Toys!

    Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula’s latest ongoing blog series: Vintage Vending! As kids, there wasn’t one among us who didn’t get butterflies at the sight of those stupid red vending machines — the kinds with tiny toys and trinkets as prizes, hidden inside neat little egg-like capsules. Those… Read More

  • 4

    Chillin’ with Chilla.

    One reason I needed to take a powder back in June was the opportunity to do some promo work with Chiller. If you don’t know, Chiller is an all-horror channel, and I’d already fallen in love with it – mainly because it was the only place to see Tales from the Darkside on television. IRead More

  • 5

    Vlog: TMNT Sewer Exploration Belt, from 1990.

    One of the less-referenced reasons why Playmates’ old Ninja Turtles toys were so great was that they were so strange, and nothing proves it quite like the Sewer Exploration Belt, from 1990. A kid-sized arsenal of goofy crap in the vein of Batman’s utility belt, it covered every base. A real work… Read More

  • 6

    Mad Mascots: Bigg Mixx!

    Through crooked senses, “Bigg Mixx” rhymes with “brilliance.” And it should. The cereal was named after its mascot, a beast that was part chicken, part wolf, part moose and part pig. Think Foghorn Leghorn, after a mishap with Seth Brundle’s telepods. I could try to come up with some ad… Read More

  • 7

    The Trash Pack Schoolbag!

    I feel I’ve committed a grave sin in having waited this long to say anything about The Trash Pack, a line of wonderful little monster figures made by Moose Toys. On the scale of M.U.S.C.L.E. but with the sensibility of Madballs, this is the exact kind of thing that someone like me should publicly … Read More

  • 8

    Dinosaur Dracula at the Beach Fair!

    There was some kind of weird beach fair thing in Staten Island this past weekend. I’m never one to turn down weird beach fair things. The event exceeded expectations. It was like a tiny-sized, bootleg version of Wildwood out there. There weren’t any roller coasters, but they did have a giant, in… Read More

  • 9

    SPOTTED: Starscream in Top Gun!

    Remember that “X-E Dissects” series on the old site, where we visited fictitious locales like Fred Savage’s bedroom and the wacky store from The Facts of Life, searching for real life retail goodies? It was one of the last things I was totally into doing on X-E, and I have every intention o… Read More

  • 10

    Ten things I wanted to buy at Monster-Mania.

    We dropped by the Monster-Mania horror convention in Cherry Hill last night, pretty much on a whim. Wasn’t planning to stay over, and with the last remaining rooms being $179 a night, I’m glad we didn’t. I haven’t been to the New Jersey version of the con in years. This visit was confirmatio… Read More

  • 11

    Marshmallows From Outer Space!

    I wanted to create something out of marshmallows, so I asked the folks on Dino Drac’s Facebook page for suggestions.  There were plenty of good ideas, but this one stood out: “A fluffy spaceship, obviously. With super interesting aliens who have a unique, snack-based culture.” Thank you, … Read More

  • 12

    Come home to me, brainy.

    Okay, technically, I found “Kraang,” not “Krang.” But still. I got some e-mails asking if I was gonna cover the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures, spun from the fast approaching Nickelodeon show. Well, of course. But it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t start with Krang. Sorry. Kraa… Read More

  • 13

    Vlog: My New Robot!

    At one of those random discount stores, there he was. Buried deep in a pile a Nissin Cup Noodles in flavors that haven’t existed since 1998, there he was. I’ve named him Kid Galaxy. He is a wonderful wadio-controlled wobot. Presented as an easy-to-operate doodad for only the youngest of tykes, I… Read More

  • 14

    Vlog: Stretch Screamers “Oozers” Figure.

    I reserve the right to cover Stretch Screamers again sometime. I love the things, and a ten minute video of me trying to open boxes just doesn’t go far enough to show how much. If you don’t remember them, Stretch Screamers was a line of fantastic, stretchy monsters.  BIG ones. As the li… Read More

  • 15

    Lightning Gremlin Figure!

    It’s been weeks since I’ve put anything of substance on Dinosaur Dracula, but man, I had a good reason. Working with some new folks on some new things, and it’s been a blast so far. I love what I’m doing, but I haaaate the timing. I didn’t even get a whole month to enjoy theRead More

  • 16

    Friday the 13th!

    I’m not quite ready to come out of my cave, but you don’t get a chance to wish strangers on the Internet a happy Friday the 13th often. HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH! Speaking of which, here’s a promo I worked on for EPIX’s all-day Friday the 13th marathon, which is happening as I ty… Read More

  • 17

    The 5 Greatest Things About Carlo.

    He may have turned up in a photo before, but I think it’s time for you to officially meet Carlo. Carlo is great. He’s great for way more than five reasons, but I’m on a tight time budget. Actually, just going by the photo above, I’m sure you could dream up more than twenty reasonsRead More

  • 18

    Alien.

    Since you guys did such a great job last time, I thought we’d give it another try. In a single comment, your job is to explain what you’re seeing here. Again, there are no wrong answers. This image has more than one story to tell. I look forward to reading your ideas. In all sincerity,Read More

  • 19

    BFCDAW #2: My New Robot.

    It’s time for Bullshit Filler Content Devised At Work #2. This one was important. Today was crazy busy. I knew I wouldn’t have the energy to come up with an original concept after the long commute home. If I wanted to post anything tonight, I needed a BFCDAW miracle. I think it was around 3PMRead More

  • 20

    Vlog: Boglins Hand Puppets.

    One thing I dig about Dino Drac is the chance to get even more mileage out of things I’ve already covered a hundred times. Yay for Boglins! If you don’t remember them, Boglins were monstrous, rubber hand puppets that came out in the late ’80s, ready to rock our worlds with twirling… Read More

  • 21

    Wallet-Sized George Photos.

    Got some mail today! <3 Mail from Snapfish. If you’ve been paying any attention to Dino Drac, you know what this is. And I couldn’t be more excited. Four bucks and four days later, I have wallet-sized photos of George the Gremlin. I asked you to choose the better option, but I cheated and ord… Read More

  • 22

    BFCDAW #1: Troll 2 Fan Art.

    Even as Dinosaur Dracula was still under construction, I knew I’d run into issues balancing my professional life with the site. I hoped it wouldn’t happen ten minutes after launching, but it wasn’t a huge surprise when it did. I vowed to incorporate my workday into Dino Drac’s content. H… Read More

  • 23

    Berry Blue Jell-O Recipes.

    Berry Blue Jell-O arrived in 1992, and the fanfare — at least in my imagined version of things — was enormous. Here were raspberries and blueberries, finally putting aside their differences to take over the planet. This was perhaps the first signal of the “blue candy” craze that woul… Read More

  • 24

    Vlog: Real Ghostbusters Proton Pack.

    I was always more into the action figures, but The Real Ghostbusters collection was truly a “pretend play” pioneer. The Proton Pack came out in 1986. Every boy I knew had one. There was no room for “maybes” on the chance to become a real, live Ghostbuster. A chance to make lots of noise! ARead More

  • 25

    Photo of the Georges.

    I grew up swearing that “Brain” was the best Gremlin ever. He isn’t. You might remember Brain from Gremlins 2. He’s the one who gained the ability to speak, and used that ability to sing “New York, New York” while other Gremlins sorted through crates of plastic explosives. Brain was a gr… Read More

  • 26

    Wendy’s Berry Almond Chicken Salad.

    This week’s Saturday Night Thread is brought to you by some kind of fruity salad from Wendy’s. We’ve all had those nights when we’re hungry, hopeless and scouring YouTube for old fast food commercials. You’ll sit there watching Jason Alexander fumble around with a McDLT, angry that you can… Read More

  • 27

    Salt.

    In a single comment, your job is to explain what you’re seeing here. There’s much to consider, but I don’t want to influence things. What does this mean to you? Tell the story of what you see. There are no wrong answers.… Read More

  • 28

    Garfield and Friends Fruit Snacks!

    I didn’t get a chance to post yesterday, duh. Got smacked in the face with several new gigs that required immediate attention, and will continue requiring attention over the next few weeks. I guess this is the part where I remind everyone, but mostly myself, that Dinosaur Dracula is a hobby, and a… Read More

  • 29

    Ninja Turtles Cracker Topper!

    Let’s kick this baby off with a photo of Krang, dressed like a soft serve ice cream cone. But it isn’t soft serve ice cream. It’s mofuggin’ Easy Cheese. Side note: Mondo Gecko’s tongue has always bothered me. It looks like he’s biting it. I admit that diving straight into Krang s… Read More

  • 30

    Vlog: “V” Toys – Enemy Visitor Doll + Bop Bag.

    It’s been years since I’ve done anything about V, but I finally had a good reason: The official V bop bag. The vlog covers two V toys: The bop bag, and the official “Enemy Visitor” doll, which I wrote about back in 2005. You anti-Vimeo people can also watch it on YouTube. All officially lice… Read More

  • 31

    Spikey Bulba eats donuts.

    A quick run to Dunkin Donuts for a Big Ass Coffee has changed my life for the better. Check out this little standee: Yeah, of course I pocketed it. Dunkin Donuts has a ton of promotions going on for Men in Black 3, from cosmic cocoa coffees to star-shaped donuts. Way more interesting than theRead More

  • 32

    Vlog: 1989 Talking Freddy Krueger Doll.

    I wasn’t planning to post anything tonight, but I thought five minutes of me rambling about a decades-old Freddy Krueger doll was better than nothing. EDIT: If you’re having trouble watching that on Vimeo, you can see it on grainy stupid YouTube by clicking here. Hard to believe that Din… Read More

  • 33

    Carnival Glories.

    A hundred billion years ago on X-E, I wrote a big article about a carnival that camps out near our local mall for one week each year. The article gained some notoriety for its ironically massive photo of the world’s smallest woman. That same carnival has come back every year since, albeit on a sma… Read More

  • 34

    Spidey Food!

    The best thing about comic book heroes becoming movie stars? The junk food. I’d almost forgotten about Spidey’s new movie, but there he was, all over Target, waiting to remind me with an assault of dyed-red snacks. Since promotions like this are all about creating awareness, I’d say they’re … Read More

  • 35

    Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula!

    Dinosaur Dracula has hatched. Pull up a chair and have a slice, bro. This is going to be a long, rambling intro. I’ve already ditched around twenty attempts at writing it. I ran X-Entertainment from April of 2000 through today, and it was a great ride. That site changed my life in many unbelievabl… Read More