Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Dino Drac’s December Funpack!

    I want you to think of this month’s Funpack as “Christmas morning in a box.” From collectibles to candy to reading material to classic stocking stuffers, Dino Drac’s December Funpack is guaranteed (well, the fake sort of guarantee, anyway) to make your month merrier. (And also guar

  • 2017’s Best Holiday Junk Food, Part 1!

    Below: Five of this year’s hottest holiday junk foods, from punny M&M’s to THE BEST POSSIBLE SLURPEE. Nutmeg & Cinnamon Triscuit! I love Triscuits but I hate writing about them, because deep down I know that you shouldn’t pluralize them that way. If I want to refer to sev

  • Xmas Newspaper Ads from the ’80s and ’90s!

    Here’s a collection of ancient newspaper ads, all with a Christmas flavor. May they fill you with nostalgia and joy and maybe Swiss Miss. Candy Canes and Ninja Turtles! (1991) Family Dollar was hardly the first place gift-givers would’ve hit while hunting for TMNT figures, but even the

  • McDonald’s Holiday McNuggets from 1987!

    Y’all remember the time McDonald’s pitched Chicken McNuggets as actual literal Christmas presents, right? In 1987, McDonald’s unveiled Holiday Chicken McNuggets, which came in awesomely complicated packages that looked (and even opened like) gift boxes. It wasn’t McD’s only push

  • 12 More Songs For Your Holiday Playlist!

    I love Christmas songs. Even the bad ones. They make me feel happy even when I’m not. They turn drives to department stores into scenes out of family movies. They make coffee taste better and $3 candles smell sweeter. Jay from The Sexy Armpit feels the same way, so we’re thrilled to de

  • Christmas at Dollar Tree.

    Today’s video covers my Christmas shopping spree at Dollar Tree: Dollar Tree’s assortment of Xmas decorations and novelties is… interesting. During Halloween, they can get away with anything, since spooky stuff only seems to improve with cheapness and cheese. Christmas junk, on the o

  • Pepsi Christmas Cola from Japan!

    It wouldn’t be the holiday season without piles of ridiculous junk food to obsess over: Take this, for example. PEPSI CHRISTMAS COLA. It’s pretty much a direct sequel to Pepsi Halloween Cola, right down to the sad fact that you’ll need to import it from Japan and spend way more on sh

  • How To Make Stuffed Mushrooms.

    Here’s my recipe for stuffed mushrooms, which has gotten a surprising number of requests. Like at least three. I make these for Thanksgiving and Christmas every year, because my habits are my comforts and if you fuck with them you die. (And also because it’s one of the few dishes my fa

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 9!

    I’ve curated another batch of ancient Christmas commercials. Keep reading if you enjoy Chicken McNuggets, Chex Mix and copper top battery testers. Don’t if you don’t. McDonald’s: Scrooge’s Christmas! (1984) Ebenezer Scrooge is so giddy over Chicken McNuggets that he drops

  • 10 Awesome Things About Home Alone!

    It’s been a blink-and-you’ll miss-it holiday season so far. Thanksgiving is in less than a week and Christmas is barely more than a month away. I can’t stand it. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by those three month Halloween celebrations, because I feel like I don’t even have time to lis

  • Dino Drac’s November Funpack!

    If you correlate the holiday season with frivolous spending, BOY do I have the thing for you. Get a load of Dino Drac’s November Funpack! (U.S. ONLY. AVAILABLE FOR A LIMITED TIME!) Vintage collectibles, fun toys and a whole Thanksgiving dinner, all in one box! If you don’t know the dea

  • The 1994 Toys “R” Us Big Toy Book!

    The arrival of a new holiday season means more ancient toy catalog reviews on Dino Drac. Yay! Shown above is the 1994 edition of Toys “R” Us’s Big Toy Book. By then, the Big Toy Book was far and away the most important holiday catalog out there, taking the top spot from the Sears Wis

  • Hostess Peppermint Twinkies: Video Review!

    I’ve been quietly surveying all of the new-for-2017 holiday junk foods, and man, there sure are a lot of them. Good ones, too! Even if you’re not into the red-and-green season, I hope you can at least appreciate the fun garbage you’re gonna get to eat. Take these monsters, for exampl

  • Happy Halloween from Madd Matt!

    Happy Halloween, everyone! Thanks so much for being a part of Dino Drac’s 2017 Halloween Countdown. I was determined to get one last video done before November hit, and with a huge assist to caffeine, here we are: Madd Matt is back with one last bag of Halloween junk. Enjoy. Unfortu

  • Purple Stuff: Creepy Questionnaire!

    Eek! A combination of things — good things, bad things and things in-between — caused me to be a little (lot) less prolific than I would’ve liked to have been this last half of October. Sorry about that! Don’t worry, though. I’m still totally in love with Halloween, and e

  • My Pet Monster Doll in Movies and on TV!

    The original My Pet Monster doll was awesome in a once-in-a-lifetime way. He was just so big, so unique and so toothy! If you’re looking to buy back a piece of your childhood, that doll is one of the few ‘80s toys that really lives up to its legend. In fact, My Pet Monster was

  • Five Random Action Figures, Part 42!

    Get set for a special Halloween edition of Five Random Action Figures! This time, we’ll be dealing exclusively with MONSTERS… like creatures with pumpkins for heads, and also creatures just named Pumpkinhead. Samhain Retro-Action Real Ghostbusters (2011) Samhain was one of the “b

  • 2017’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 3!

    This will likely be the final edition of 2017’s Best Halloween Junk Food, but that ain’t for lack of deserving snacks. This season may have been short on HUGE things, but the sheer volume of “pretty good” things was astounding. Here are my five latest finds: The Spider Donut! Found

  • 1980s Candy in Killer Klowns!

    If you’ve never seen Killer Klowns from Outer Space, fix that! The 1988 film is exactly as weird as the title suggests, but it’s also just a good little movie. Those who have seen it may remember a minor scene wherein the Killer Klowns invaded a pharmacy. That’s why I’m here tonigh

  • Dino Drac’s Halloween Funpack!

    With only two weeks left until Halloween, you’re (hopefully) trying to cram in as much spooky fun as possible. We’re now at the point where if you blink one too many times, October will be over! LIMITED TIME! LIMITED QUANTITY! UNITED STATES ONLY! But have no fear! With Dino Drac’