Dinosaur Dracula!

Full Archives

You have some reading to do. Below are most of the blog archives. Certain categories are excluded to keep things tidier. There’s even more junk on the Features Page, too!

  • thumb

    Junk Food of the Gods, Part 1.

    I’m not sure if junk food has ever been as interesting as it is at this very moment. Everywhere I turn, I’m deluged by multicolored artificial things that work in sickly sweet pseudo-sugars the way Sirens work in song. It’s great! Below are five new or newish junk foods that struck me as bein… Read More

  • thumb

    Flea Market Finds, Volume Something.

    I’d expected to lean more heavily on yard sales this season, but after my success at the Englishtown flea market a few weeks ago, I wanted to know if lightning could strike twice. It did! For me, it’s just been about developing my eye. My intuition. If you spend enough time at flea markets, you… Read More

  • thumb

    Fictional Food That Looks Friggin’ Good.

    Tonight we’re gonna look at eight fictitious foods from movies and television that I really, really want to eat. If I’m ever condemned, my last meal request will include three fish biscuits and a tall glass of whatever that shit was that they drank in Death Becomes Her. #1: Luke’s Rations!… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Random Action Figures, Part 17!

    It’s time for the latest edition of Five Random Action Figures, which takes the total number of figures featured over the course of this series to a cool 85. We’re almost up to a hundred! I’ll try to plan something special for that edition, and by “special” I hope I don’t mean “grab th… Read More

  • thumb

    Highlights from the AC Boardwalk Con!

    On Saturday, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit visited the first-ever Atlantic City Boardwalk Con, a sort of generalized pop culture celebration that to me felt like a delightfully miniaturized version of SDCC. Held at the still-sparkly Atlantic City Convention Center, “ACBC” was my best con expe… Read More

  • thumb

    Someone’s amazing old sticker album.

    Last July, I introduced you to The Ultimate ‘80s Sticker Album, which originally belonged to a complete stranger. One who really, really liked stickers. Well, I’ve found a similar album, which once belonged to another stranger. It’s not as jampacked as the album from last summer, but… Read More

  • thumb

    This is the most ’80s thing ever.

    I found it, I found it. The most impossibly ‘80s thing of all impossibly ‘80s things. Ironically, for all I know, it might’ve come out in the ‘90s. This Sun Kids combo pack blends two things that perfectly bookend all of my other childhood memories: Cheap sunglasses with neon frames… … Read More

  • thumb

    7 of my favorite kaiju. Well, kinda kaiju.

    When you hear the word “kaiju,” your mind probably drifts to Godzilla, or to the creatures from Pacific Rim, or maybe to the monster from Cloverfield. It’s all stuff like that, right? But see, “kaiju” just means “monster,” and by that definition, there sure are a lot of them to celebra… Read More

  • thumb

    Those books with the 12 stickers inside.

    Today we’re gonna get reacquainted with some very special books. If you’re at all familiar with these, you already love them. Published by Antioch in the ‘80s and ‘90s, they were commonly found at elementary school book fairs, and on those delightful Scholastic Book Club order forms. Those… Read More

  • thumb

    More ’80s and ’90s Candy!

    Tonight’s focus: More ridiculous candy from the ‘80s and ‘90s. I doubt you’re surprised. I’m very excited about this batch, which includes a few expired edibles that I never thought I’d be able to reclaim. My sources of triumph are sad, and uniquely mine. Chew Fun Bubble Gum Noodles! Mad… Read More

  • thumb

    Back to the Flea Market.

    The yard sales were very unkind on Saturday, so on Sunday, we switched things up with a visit to the Englishtown flea market. Smart move! Great weather made Englishtown busier than I’d ever seen it before, and since we arrived pretty late in the day, vendors were more in the mood to haggle. Best … Read More

  • thumb

    Dino Drac’s May Funpack is available now!

    ($25 MONTHLY, SHIPPED! AVAILABLE IN THE U.S. ONLY!) Dino Drac’s May 2015 Funpack is here! The quick-and-dirty version: Every month, I mail out a new Funpack. Subscriptions cost is $25 per month (that includes shipping), and you can cancel at any time. For as long as you remain subscribed, you’… Read More

  • thumb

    Toys from the 1984 Consumers Catalog!

    Today I’m gonna show you the highlights from the 1984 Consumers Distributing catalog. Don’t run — it’s more interesting than it sounds! I’ve mentioned Consumers Distributing before, but to save you a click, here’s a primer: The odd stores were more like OTB centers, where instead of … Read More

  • thumb

    30 Haikus About Groceries.

    GROCERY SHOPPING! Here are thirty dumb haikus About what I saw.… Read More

  • thumb

    The $55 Toys “R” Us Shopping Spree!

    I found an old Toys “R” Us gift card while cleaning, and was happy to discover that it still had 59 bucks left on it. I hope the card enjoyed those eight months under our microwave. This left me with three options. One, I could save it until the Christmas season, when I’m due to blowRead More

  • thumb

    Yard Sailin’, Volume V.

    As many of you know, this hasn’t been my favorite week. Since our apartment is currently a minefield of memories we’re not ready to deal with, getting out of the house is a good thing. Thank God for yard sale season. Longtime readers should remember last year’s Yard Sailin’ series, where I s… Read More

  • thumb

    March of the Vintage Comic Book Ads.

    After flipping through hundreds of yellowed pages that all stank like old glue, I’m now armed with another batch of old comic book ads. When you’re done reading this, go check out the previous editions. Nightmare on Elm Street Dream Package! (Pulled from unknown 1988 comic) Our pal Larry P. snai… Read More

  • thumb

    Five McDonald’s Happy Meal Boxes.

    Let’s take a look at five old McDonald’s Happy Meal boxes, and see how many tangentially related paragraphs they inspire. You may consider this a surrogate sequel to my article about old fast food bags. God, I write about a lot of garbage! Back to the Future Happy Meal! Year: 1991 Wow, a Back to… Read More

  • thumb

    Five More Cereals From Beyond The Grave.

    Long ago, I wrote about five ancient cereal boxes from my personal collection. Later, I did it again. Since many of you seem to find great joy in the idea that I’m surrounded by decades-old food, I think we’ll go for the triple. Here are five more cereals from beyond the grave: Morning Funnies C… Read More

  • thumb

    Six Snacks I Want Back, Volume 5!

    Welcome to the fifth edition of Six Snacks I Want Back, where I torment you by celebrating foods you can no longer eat! Side bonus: Lots of heavy GIFs sure to aggravate the site’s mobile users!  Chef Boyardee Sharks!  Debuting somewhere around 1990, Sharks tasted exactly like everything else Ch… Read More

  • thumb

    WWF Hasbro Figures from the ’90s!

    Today’s article is about Hasbro’s World Wrestling Federation action figures from the early ‘90s. These guys, I mean: I’m sad to admit that I wasn’t a big collector during their heyday, I guess owing to building suspicion that I was too old for “wrestling figures.” (I was in junior high… Read More

  • thumb

    Six Snacks I Want Back, Volume 4!

    It’s time for another edition of Six Snacks I Want Back, celebrating foods that can no longer be eaten without the aid of time machines or slipshod DIY recipes posted by liars on social media. If you missed the three previous installments, check ‘em out over here.  Oreo Big Stuf!  These were s… Read More

  • thumb

    Dino Drac’s April Funpack — On Sale Now!

    ($25 MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTION AVAILABLE IN THE U.S. ONLY!) Dino Drac’s April 2015 Funpack is available now! Hard to believe that the Funpacks are entering their ninth month. I never expected this to go for so long, and I’m insanely grateful for everyone who took the plunge and helped me justify a l… Read More

  • thumb

    Vintage Vending #23: Squash Faces!

    In this edition of Vintage Vending, we’re gonna take a look at Squash Faces. I realize that none of you have heard of them before, nor have you even seen the words “squash” and “faces” paired together. I live to change lives, in the smallest and stupidest ways possible. I don’t know whe… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Random Action Figures, Part 16!

    After an action-packed WrestleMania weekend that’s left me feeling like I’ve lost the right to ever eat or drink again, I return to normalcy with eight thousand words about ratty toys. Below: The sixteenth edition of Five Random Action Figures, starring one green guy, one white guy, one yellow g… Read More

  • thumb

    Blockbuster Bonus Boxes from the 1990s?

    This is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down… all because of a box of product samples given away by Blockbuster in the 1990s. See, I was planning to do a Deadsites entry on Blockbuster. After digging up a version of its webpage from 1997, something caught my eye. That… Read More

  • thumb

    Cherry-picking from old trading card packs.

    Assorted travels have left me with assorted trading card packs. I figured it was time to do something with them. …so I ripped open the six shown above, and challenged myself to name the best card in each of them. This wasn’t as easy as it sounds. For example, in the case of the GremlinsRead More

  • thumb

    The Coffee Cup Exhibition: Part 2!

    Uh oh — the coffee cups are back! If you recall, I asked Dino Drac readers to submit photos of their weirdest coffee cups, owing to morbid curiosity and probably worse. That was back in July. Over a hundred of you accepted the challenge, and I was so overwhelmed the sheer volume of strange mug… Read More

  • thumb

    Old Comic Book Classified Ads.

    Continuing on with another look at old comic book ads, this time I’m focusing on the classifieds. These were smaller ads, often no taller than an inch, tossed by the dozens onto individual pages. For me, that was where the real magic happened. These ads had to make an impression with few words and… Read More

  • thumb

    More Weird ’80s and ’90s Candy.

    I’ve been doing some spring cleaning, so before I shuffle parts of my old candy collection onto shelves that are too annoying to reach twice, I thought I’d pay tribute to them here. Turning crud into content makes me feel less bad about buying twenty-year-old Spider-Man gumballs, after all. Cand… Read More

  • thumb

    Go get those Doritos Jacked 3D things.

    Doritos Jacked 3D Jalapeño Pepper Jack tortilla snacks isn’t something I want to type twice, but my God are they delicious. Some are heralding them as the return of 3D Doritos — that being the colloquial title of those airy Dorito “shells” that were all the rage over a decade ago. … Read More

  • thumb

    Revenge of the Comic Book Ads!

    As mentioned in my previous post, I bought a pile of cheap comics books from the ‘80s and ‘90s specifically for the old advertisements, which never fail to remind me of a time when the stupidest stuff meant everything. So, pulled from the pages of otherwise unremarkable issues of Excalibur and D… Read More

  • thumb

    Scenes from a Comic Book Show.

    Over the weekend, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit found ourselves in a church, or maybe an event center, or perhaps some kind of school. I’m not exactly sure, but some building in Clifton NJ had been commandeered for a comic book convention. A small comic book convention, I mean. This wasn’t NY… Read More

  • thumb

    Six Snacks I Want Back, Volume 3!

    Continuing the series, here are yet another six snacks that I want back. You’ll notice in this edition that I’m really stretching the definition of “snack.” Please do not continue reading if you’re unable to accept two pound pitas and alcoholic beverages as “snacks.”  Giggles Cookies!… Read More

  • thumb

    Six Snacks I Want Back, Volume 2!

    I had so much fun writing Volume 1, I thought I’d dive right back in. Here are another six snacks that I want back, from chocolate-stuffed cookies to fries in juice boxes:  Cheetos Paws!  Chee-tos Paws (they didn’t drop the hyphen until later) was perhaps the snack of the early ‘9os. Meant… Read More

  • thumb

    Six Snacks I Want Back, Volume 1!

    Tonight is the first chapter in what I guess we could call my personal pantheon of shitty food. From the ‘80s and ‘90s, here are six snacks I want back:  Pop Quiz Popcorn!  Made in 1992, Pop Qwiz was my jam. Believing that kids would love popcorn even more if it came in ridiculous colors,Read More

  • thumb

    Five Random Action Figures, Part 15!

    I wouldn’t normally go back to the “Five Random Action Figures” well so soon, but I’m tired and I have a headache and my car is broken, and this is the only series I can handle when I’m completely oblivious to what I’m writing. My favorite blog about raising a chimp in a screen houseRead More

  • thumb

    Dino Drac’s March Funpacks on sale now!

    Dino Drac’s March 2015 Funpack has arrived, and this one is out of this world! It’s the Funpack from outer space, loaded with extraterrestrial awesomeness! As most of you know, these Funpack subscriptions have become the lifeblood of Dino Drac, so on top of getting boxes full of weird junk every… Read More

  • thumb

    The Restaurants of Roseanne!

    Roseanne is a strong contender for my favorite sitcom, and I still watch it religiously. Only with hindsight do I see how good the show was at capturing its time, not just through its characters and situations, but through its settings. Didn’t we all grow up in houses that looked at least a litt… Read More

  • thumb

    $10 at a dollar store can change everything.

    Let’s say you’re bored. Let’s say it’s the weekend. Let’s say there’s no one around and nothing to do. I’m here to help! My suggestion may sound a little flat at first, but it’s something I believe in, and something I’ve done myself. All you’ll need is $10 and access to a dollar … Read More

  • thumb

    Ranking the Elm Street VHS Box Art!

    A long while back, I ranked all of the Friday the 13th films based strictly on the merits of their VHS boxes. It was only natural that I’d do the same for Freddy Krueger! That’s my weird goal for today, and it isn’t as pointless as it seems! As I’ve mentioned before, videocassette boxes us… Read More

  • thumb

    Fast Food Kiddie Bags from the ’90s.

    Tonight’s article is about fast food kiddie bags from the 1990s, which is as close as I may ever come to literally writing about garbage. Really, focusing on the bags is just my way to highlight five memorable fast food promotions, starring everyone from Spider-Man to Amy Monkey. Mighty Morphin P… Read More

  • thumb

    Cereal shopping in 1986’s Manhunter.

    My friend Lauren told me to check out Manhunter, the 1986 thriller and first-ever film to feature the Hannibal Lecter character. (Okay, Lecktor, but it was the same guy.) Many critics didn’t go gaga over Manhunter back then, but I loved it for exactly the same reasons that they hated it. Mi… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Random Action Figures, Part 14!

    I’ve been salivating over the many reveals from this year’s Toy Fair, which collectively guarantee that I’ll have five cents to my name by the end of 2015. To cool down, I thought I’d take a minute to appreciate what I already have… and stop worrying about how I’m going to afford sev… Read More

  • thumb

    Pee-wee Herman’s Gremlins Collection.

    Back when Pee-wee was just starting to catch on, he was a frequent guest on Late Night with David Letterman, taking part in bizarre bits that only further cemented his rise to superstardom. Since my own obsession began with Pee-wee’s Big Adventure, I missed the earliest of those appearances, feat… Read More

  • thumb

    More Extremely Old Bubble Gum!

    I had so much fun showing you old bubble gum a few weeks ago, I thought I’d do it one more time. (A few weeks from today, I’ll say the same thing. And onward goes this thing of ours.) This time, I’m breaking out some of my heaviest hitters. If it could be argued that bubbleRead More

  • thumb

    Dino Drac’s Crummy Motel!

    You are on your way to a wedding. Some distant cousin you haven’t seen in fifteen years. On the list of things you’d rather do, “drown” only narrowly outranks “get eaten by bears.” The reception is three states away. That would normally merit flying, but you’re not gonna blow 400 bucks… Read More

  • thumb

    The Coffee Cup Exhibition: Part 1!

    Back in July, I asked everyone to send in photos of their weirdest coffee mugs for an upcoming Dino Drac feature. A whole lotta you did. In fact, I was so daunted by the number of submissions that I shelved the idea for months. During that time, I expertly handled any emailed inquires by pretending<… Read More

  • thumb

    Vintage Vending #22: Stretch Armstrong?!

    It’s been forever since the last edition of Vintage Vending, the series in which I blather on endlessly about old vending machine toys. If you’re newish to Dino Drac, you can read the past twenty-one entries over here! Today we’re focusing on “The Stretcher” set, made in 1995, and absolute… Read More

  • thumb

    Cereal Coupons from the ’80s and ’90s.

    Today I’m gonna investigate seven ancient cereals… using old supermarket coupons as my guide. If you say you saw this coming, you are such a liar. Considering how many people still talk about Ice Cream Cones Cereal, it’s hard to believe that it was so short-lived. According to Wikipedia, … Read More

  • thumb

    Dino Drac’s February Funpack is available now!

    Dino Drac’s February Funpack has landed! Most of you know the drill by now, but here’s the quick-and-dirty version: Every month, I mail out boxes filled with old & new treasures to all subscribers. It’s $25 a month (that price includes shipping to anywhere in the United States) and you can… Read More

  • thumb

    Dino Drac’s Video Store.

    You are being proactive. It’s a gloomy afternoon. One that will reportedly lead into a stormy night. Better prepare some evening entertainment while you still have the chance! You drive over to DD’s Video Store. Founded in 1985, it’s now the last rental store in town. You remember worrying abo… Read More

  • thumb

    Nintendo games spotted in Beethoven!

    After the Nintendo Power Glove came up in the previous article, someone pointed out that it made a cameo appearance in Beethoven. Yes, the 1992 movie about a sloppy St. Bernard and the man who grows to love him. Somehow, the Power Glove was in that. Actually, yesterday’s anonymous commenter un… Read More

  • thumb

    Five old videocassettes. No reason.

    The apocalyptic snowstorm never arrived, but we still got enough to slow life to a crawl. And to make the process of shoveling feel like it should’ve ended with an awards ceremony. It seemed like a good day to get organized, so I attacked my eighteen bins full of old videocassettes, separating eve… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Random Action Figures, Part 13!

    We’re in the middle of a blizzard, and it’ll be a miracle if I’m able to finish this article before the power goes out. If I sound like I’m rushing… I am! So, onward with the thirteenth edition of Five Random Action Figures. I took these photos over the weekend, hoping to capitalize on aRead More

  • thumb

    Dino Drac’s Corner Store!

    You are bored. There’s no one around and nothing to do. Desperate for any sort of action — even one as silly as buying a Snapple — you hop on your bike and ride to Dino Drac’s Corner Store. Well, its proper name is Dino Drac’s Convenience Store, but everyone just calls it “the c… Read More

  • thumb

    The True Legends “Tree Warrior.”

    Okay guys, we need to talk about Tree Warrior. Tree Warrior is part of the True Legends line, a collection of low cost, lower quality fantasy toys. If you’re a TRU hound, you’ve probably seen their aisle full of True Legends offerings, ranging from battle-ready elves to giant neon dragons. The t… Read More

  • thumb

    French Toast Crunch is back!

    I know I’m late on the draw and that 99% of you have already heard the news, but for the remaining 1%: French Toast Crunch is back! It’s true! The cereal debuted in 1995 but was discontinued in 2006. From then until now, you could only find French Toast Crunch on “DO YOU REMEMBER EATINGRead More

  • thumb

    Extremely Old Bubble Gum.

    Tonight’s random topic: BUBBLE GUM. Very old bubble gum that I spent too much money on. Turning frivolous purchases into Dino Drac content is my eternal salvation, so here we are. Below: Five bubble gum brands from the ‘80s and ‘90s. May they help you remember a time when perusing the candy ra… Read More

  • thumb

    Saturday Television of a Misspent Youth.

    Back in junior high, I spent a lot of my free time alone. I don’t mean that to sound maudlin; I had friends, and we’d hang out often enough. Thing was, we had few common interests, and whenever they ran off to do whatever normal boys did, I hid at home. This was during the early ‘90s,Read More

  • thumb

    Five really old cans of Chef Boyardee.

    Let’s look at five ancient cans of Chef Boyardee pasta, because of course I have those. Pac-Man Pasta! From 1986, it’s both my oldest can and the prettiest… even if one must approach “golden chicken flavored sauce” with healthy trepidation. The milky, yellow glop looks not entirely dissimi… Read More

  • thumb

    Deadsites: “The Beast” 1996 TV Movie!

    These Deadsites posts are always tricky. For every entry that seems to resonate with you guys, there’s another that maybe three people on the whole planet are interested in. Admittedly, today’s entry runs the risk of falling into the dreaded latter category. I can’t afford to care, because GI… Read More

  • a-thumb

    Dino Drac’s January 2015 Funpack!

    (AVAILABLE IN THE UNITED STATES ONLY!) I’m officially ready to shill the hell out of Dinosaur Dracula’s first Funpack of the new year. It’s the January 2015 edition, stuffed with 10+ items! As this is now the sixth Funpack in the monthly series, it’s safe to assume that most of you alrea… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Random Action Figures, Part 12!

    It’s time for the twelfth edition of Five Random Action Figures! (Three of these were picked up just this week. Thank you, mysterious and awesome local comic book shop that’s apparently been hiding in plain sight since last spring.) Peter Venkman The Real Ghostbusters, 1986 Most of the praise I … Read More

  • thumb

    Awesome & Expensive Junk on eBay.

    I’ve been keeping an eye on a few eBay auctions despite having no plans to actually bid, out of sheer amazement that people have such rare stuff to sell. Like, how the hell do you end up with 59 Fireball Island board games? Most of these treasures will ultimately make quiet exits, remembered onl… Read More

  • thumb

    The Christmas Fallout, 2014 Edition!

    Happy 209th anniversary to the Treaty of Pressburg! I hope everyone had a great Christmas. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, I hope you had great Chinese food. Mine was the usual two-day marathon of TOO MUCH EVERYTHING. The holiday season was a little rough around the edges, but it ended strong wi… Read More

  • thumb

    The 1982 Sears Wish Book!

    It’s almost Christmas Eve, and I have so much left to do. None of the presents are wrapped. Half of them haven’t even been purchased. There are mushrooms to stuff, clothes to wash, cookies to bake and hair to cut. So, like a big dumb idiot, I made one more Wish Book review the firstRead More

  • thumb

    The 1985 JCPenney Christmas Catalog.

    Oof. Christmas caught me by surprise this year, and I didn’t write nearly as often as I would’ve liked to. Can’t do anything about that now, so I’ll just try to make this an extra good one! Today we’re gonna look at some highlights from the 1985 JCPenney catalog, which was basically anothe… Read More

  • thumb

    This $5 dinosaur playset is the best.

    Every Christmas, various department stores dedicate whole aisles to those super cheap “generic” toys. You know the kind. They always come in the same-style boxes, whether they’re sets of dominoes or princess baby dolls. Shown above is one example. The “Dinosaurs Play Set,” a 21-piece assor… Read More

  • thumb

    Happy Mother’s Day!

    Guys, we need to talk about this Mother’s Day card. I made it for my mother in 1986. 1987 at the absolute latest. Considering the card’s enormous size and use of strange paper, I can only assume it was an art project from grade school. The cover looks innocent enough, or at least as innocent as… Read More

  • thumb

    Obscure Nightmare on Elm Street Playset.

    One of the coolest A Nightmare on Elm Street toys… technically has nothing to do with A Nightmare on Elm Street. Bear with me. This’ll take a little explaining. In 1988, Tonka launched a small line of Wrecking Crew toys. These were various construction vehicles that could plow over and/or straig… Read More

  • thumb

    Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 5!

    Welcome to what could be this year’s last batch of Classic Christmas Commercials, donated by our pal Larry. Tonight, you’ll see everything from a super capitalistic Santa to a giant apple pitching cheap underwear. Are you excited? Call Santa’s Hotline! (1987) I’ve seen at least a dozen … Read More

  • thumb

    Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch Cereal!

    I know everyone’s giddy over the return of French Toast Crunch, but don’t forget about this one! Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is the second of General Mills’s two new holiday-themed cereals. I covered Holiday Sprinkles Cookie Crisp a few weeks ago, and as great as it was, I think this stuff is ev… Read More

  • thumb

    I have crazy love for Santa Robot.

    I’ve never been happier, and it’s all because of Santa Robot. I don’t know who was responsible for Santa Robot, nor do I have any hard evidence of when he’s from. (Though given the similarities to Tomy’s old battery-operated robots, it’s a safe bet that Santa Robot is from the mid ‘80… Read More

  • thumb

    I bought a box of toys from eBay.

    Back in March, I paid tribute to eBay’s action figure mixed lots — those being auctions for “bunches” of toys that sellers have neither the time nor interest to list individually. Even with the bazillion eyes perpetually scanning eBay, there are some great deals hiding in those listings.… Read More

  • thumb

    Make your own Virtual Christmas Tree!

    This holiday season is going way too fast. Before you know it, it’ll be big boring depressing January. Don’t waste what little time we have left! Do things! Do stupid things that are only okay to do at this time of year! I’m here to help. Tonight I’m gonna teach you how to make yourRead More

  • thumb

    Vintage Masters of the Universe Figures!

    Since it’s Friday night and I live life to the fullest, I will now write 900 words about old Masters of the Universe figures. In this post: A lobster man, a guy with three faces, another guy with a big hand, an alien rock dude, a pure robot, and finally a naked race car driver.Read More

  • thumb

    Holiday Food Ads from 1983.

    I scanned several pages from the December 1983 issue of Woman’s Day, and now I’m gonna write about them. I bet you didn’t see that one coming. Eh, you probably did. When I was tiny, my mother had many magazines just like this, filled with holiday recipes and gift guides and craft ideas. She ke… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Cereals From Beyond The Grave.

    Today, I’ve chosen five old cereal boxes from my worryingly large collection for a closer inspection. Far funnier than anything you’ll read below was the sight of me dragging ancient cereal boxes out into the December chill, and desperately trying to keep them upright against the near-winter w… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Random Action Figures, Part 11!

    After a crazy holiday weekend filled with ups (lots of wine) and downs (too much wine), I come to you with only the barest sense of coherence! Welcome to the eleventh edition of Five Random Action Figures, starring old plastic monsters from my personal collection. As a matter of full disclosure, thi… Read More

  • thumbwish

    New feature and a Thanksgiving survey!

    The little-updated Features section has now been… uh, updated. So go read about Twelve Treasures from the 1989 Sears Wish Book! See everything from old Ghostbusters toys to a giant gaudy stereo system! Make a cup of coffee before you do, because this one is LONG. I was going to disallow comme… Read More


    Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 4!

    I’m back with another edition of Classic Christmas Commercials, once again donated by our friend Larry. This is a particularly great batch, featuring everything from Ghostbusters toys to wacky Chicken McNuggets, and if you’re lucky, extra cheap cologne. Hills “Christmas Toys Layaway”… Read More

  • thumb

    Dino Drac’s December Funpack!

    (NOTE: Available in the United States only!) Okay folks, I’m ready to plug the hell out of Dino Drac’s Funpacks again! For those who don’t know, for 25 bucks each month, you’ll get a new box of random junk sent straight to your door, every month! (And yes, you can cancel at any time!) Subscr… Read More

  • thumb

    Old Junk Food, Revisited!

    As you’ve probably surmised, I collect old food. Old food packaging, and actual old food. I don’t know how this became my thing, but that’s the hand I was dealt, and tonight, I’m gonna play it. So behold! Old junk food from my personal collection! You’ve seen a few of these things in p… Read More

  • thumb

    7UP’s Countdown to Christmas Posters!

    Just when you thought Dino Drac couldn’t get more obscure, here I am with a tribute to those old 7UP posters that let us glue cotton balls over Santa Claus’s face. During various holiday seasons of the ‘80s and ‘90s, people who bought enough 7UP soda scored free “Countdown to Christmas”… Read More

  • thumb

    Weird TMNT toys from the late ’90s!

    While scouring ancient and loosely archived versions of Playmates Toys’ website, I found a goldmine of late ‘90s Ninja Turtles crud. What an interesting time for those guys! Many of us stopped collecting TMNT toys years before the line died (if it ever truly did), so if you’re like me, you mi… Read More

  • thumb

    Holiday Sprinkles Cookie Crisp Cereal!

    Perhaps inspired by their success during the Halloween season, General Mills is finally trying to muscle in on Christmas. And I’m totally good with that. The first of two super seasonal cereals (I’ll cover the second in a future post) is Holiday Sprinkles Cookie Crisp. This is huge news! Cookie… Read More

  • xxx-thumb

    Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 3!

    Hooray, I can finally dust off one of my favorite topics: Classic Christmas Commercials! If you missed Volume 1 and Volume 2, this series of posts includes ancient holiday-themed TV ads. Christmas commercials were such a big part of the festivities back then, and if you’ve ever felt that more rec… Read More

  • thumb

    Cranberry & Sage Triscuit Crackers!

    Judging by what I’ve seen so far, the 2014 holiday season is going to be a great one for junk food lovers. Here’s some early proof! I rarely buy Triscuits anymore, but it’s only because I can’t be trusted around them. Like Pepperidge Farm Goldfish, they were one of my childhood comfort foods… Read More

  • thumb

    1989 Toys “R” Us Treat Box!

    During the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, Toys “R” Us ran several promotions where kids received free treat boxes with every purchase. These were essentially paper lunch boxes, filled with product samples, coupons, and if we were lucky, a little toy. They sound like simple freebies, and I guess t… Read More

  • thumb

    Identifying Garfield’s Christmas Presents.

    Yeah, I’m really doing this. It’s too late to stop me. A Garfield Christmas is one of my favorite holiday specials. During its run on CBS, I watched it every year. To me, it was every bit as important as Charlie Brown’s thing, and for a time, I liked it even more. The bulk ofRead More

  • thumb

    More Ancient Holiday Appetizers!

    Every holiday season, I’m inspired to dig through my ancient recipe books, searching for meals and appetizers that haven’t been in fashion since before I was born. Why? I DON’T KNOW. No matter how this odd passion took form, it’s been a part of my holiday celebrations for as long as I can r… Read More

  • thumb

    The M.U.S.C.L.E. Battlin’ Belt!

    M.U.S.C.L.E. — that’s Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere — is one of my favorite toy lines ever. Imported from Japan where they had a more richly defined story, I prefer the simplified version we got in the States: They were just piles of wacky, nameless wrestlers,… Read More

  • thumb

    10 things KB Toys sold in 1998!

    I don’t think many of us realized just how wonderful KB Toys was until it went kaput. In fact, things that once seemed annoying about the chain became somehow charming in its wake. (The disorganized clutter! The reliance on old stock that hadn’t been in production for years! The six different pr… Read More

  • finalethumb

    HALLOWEEN, 2014!

    HAPPY HALLOWEEN. For once in my life, I actually have plans tonight, so you’ll forgive me if this post has six more typos than usual. I hope you’ve enjoyed Dinosaur Dracula’s 2014 Halloween Countdown! To tell you the truth, I’m not at all ready for it to end. Even with over 40 reviews in the… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Ghoulish Ghostbusters Goodies!

    Thanks largely to the media blitz surrounding its 30th anniversary, Ghostbusters seems hotter than ever. You know how I’m always saying that every Halloween season has “one thing” that ultimately sets it apart from every other Halloween season? In 2014, it’s gotta be Ghostbusters. Let’s re… Read More

  • thumb

    Inhumanoids Monster Figures!

    I’ve been waiting a looooong time to do this post. Inhumanoids was one of the best toy lines of any decade, and if you’ve been with me for a while, you’ve read that sentiment more than a dozen times. Today, it’s finally time to show you why. (Or you could just look at that photo. ItRead More

  • thumb

    Dino Drac’s November Funpack!

    NOTE: The deadline has passed for the November Funpack. To see what I’ve cooked up for December, click here! I know we’re still in Halloween mode, and thank God for that, but if you’ll pardon me this one exception, it’s time to debut Dino Drac’s NOVEMBER 2014 Funpack! (Available to tho… Read More

  • thumb

    Candy Corn Pebbles Cereal!

    Happy Saturday! With less than a week left before Halloween, I hope you’re taking advantage of the weekend by cramming in as many SPOOKY THINGS as possible. Don’t dawdle. You’re gonna miss it when its gone. Might I suggest tracking down a box of Post’s new Candy Corn Pebbles cereal? … Read More

  • thumb

    McDonald’s “Book of Life” Halloween Pails!

    They’re not McBoo pails, but they’re the spiritual successors! Now at McDonald’s, each Happy Meal comes with one of two trick-or-treat pails based on The Book of Life, which isn’t exactly a “Halloween” movie, but remains perfectly on-point because its promotional imagery deals mostly in … Read More

  • thumb


    Uh oh! It’s the return of Dinosaur Dracula’s… SCARY MARY HOTLINE. If you don’t know what this is about, I’d suggest reading this article from last year. Or, if you don’t feel like clicking around, I’ll just repeat myself! Back when pay-per-minute telephone hotlines were a huge deal, it… Read More

  • thumb

    Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 7!

    Welcome to Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 7! (It was either this or another edition of Five Spooky Action Figures. The folks on Twitter voted for more commercials. If you would’ve preferred to read about plastic Draculas, blame them. #notmyfault) Larry P. generously provided the first four ads… Read More

  • thumb

    Vintage Halloween Treat Sacks!

    TELL ME. When you went trick-or-treating, what did you use to hold the candy? A McBoo pail? A pillowcase? A Radio Flyer wagon? Most often, I’m guessing you used a plastic bag made specifically for that purpose. The “trick-or-treat sack” has historically been just as integral a part of a kid… Read More

  • thumb

    Win a set of Dinosaur Dracula trading cards!

    Who wants to win a set of Dinosaur Dracula trading cards? Yes, Dinosaur Dracula trading cards! After teasing them for over a year, it’s finally time to give them away! Between now and Halloween, there will be at least fifteen winners of the full 30-card set! The cards feature gorgeous art, siniste… Read More

  • thumb

    Madd Matt’s Vampire Doll, from 1988!

    Madd Matt is back, and he has a new doll! Actually, the doll isn’t new. It’s from 1988. Many of you should recognize this animated vampire figure, which for a time seemed as common a Halloween decoration as fake webs and plastic spider rings. Part of a larger line of battery-operated monsters, … Read More

  • thumb

    Deadsites: Kellogg’s Spooky Town, from 2000!

    Welcome back to Deadsites, where I study defunct websites and revisit the internet’s barely recognizable past! I wanted something Halloweeny for this edition, of course. How about Froot Loops? From 2000, it’s Kellogg’s SPOOKY TOWN — a site-within-a-site that was only accessible during Oc… Read More

  • thumb

    A stranger’s Halloween party, from 1994.

    Remember last month, when I went into tremendously long detail about some total stranger’s ancient Halloween photo? Let’s do that again! This photo was another eBay find. I don’t know who that house belongs to, nor even what part of the country it’s from. I suppose some of you are wonderin… Read More

  • thumb

    Yet MORE Spooky Action Figures!

    We spent the weekend at the headquarters of Freddy In Space, taking years off of our lives with a mix of pizza, pumpkin beer and Crayola crayons. I suspect I’ll be fully recovered by Christmas. The best thing about John’s house (aside from Mothman the cat) is his absolute swarm of horror memora… Read More

  • thumb

    Nickelodeon Gak: Halloween Editions!

    “Gak,” originally a nickname for the slime used on Double Dare, first hit the retail market in the early ‘90s. From then on, the sludgy plaything slid in and out of production, always returning with new colors and weirder upgrades. But over the last few years, Nickelodeon’s legion of gloppy … Read More

  • thumb

    “Chamber of Horrors” Halloween Tape!

    This is going to be one of the shorter Halloween Countdown entries, but make no mistake, today’s subject means as much to me as anything else I’ve covered. From 1988, it’s the famous/infamous Chamber of Horrors cassette, which I’m sure will be immediately recognizable to a fair chunk of you.… Read More

  • thumb

    Classic Creepy Commercials – Volume 6!

    It’s time for Volume 6 of Classic Creepy Commercials, and wowza, what a great batch this is! Just a perfect mix of Halloween nostalgia and absurd spookiness, along with at least one instance of Troll dolls shooting missiles at each other. Maybe two. I’m giving you six ads this time. The fi… Read More

  • thumb

    Halloween Kid Cuisine is back!

    So as a matter of full disclosure, I know that only 2% of you are at all interested in reading about a Kid Cuisine microwave dinner — even if is Halloween themed. Still, I do the Halloween Countdown as much for me as for you, and I cannot tell a lie: I’m super excited about this.Read More

  • thumb

    The 2014 Halloween Mood Table!

    October is here, and you know what that means. MOOD TABLE TIME. This is a yearly tradition that many of you are aware of, but for the few that aren’t, I’ll explain. I’ve been running the Halloween Countdown since 2003. The only Countdown that I fouled up was in 2007, owing to real life issues… Read More

  • gahthumb

    The Krispy Kreme Ghostbusters Donuts Review!

    I woke up at 4AM. By 5, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit were on the road. Exhausted and delirious, we drove in darkness, finally reaching our destination around 90 minutes later. This was a big day! A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! Yes, THE GHOSTBUSTERS DONUTS HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED AT KRISPY KREME. … Read More

  • thumb

    Five MORE Spooky Action Figures!

    Okay, it’s Saturday night and none of you are here, but I’m already panicking about how close we are Halloween. A scant 48000 hours away! I don’t want to miss the chance to get even one more horrifying thing posted before the big day, so here I am. I’m so lonely. Here’s another batch of s… Read More

  • ooo-thumb

    Pumpkin Spice Oreo Cookies!

    For their next seasonal offering, Nabisco is going there. Hey, everything else has a “pumpkin spice” edition, so why not Oreo cookies? In tonight’s video, I review and eat several Pumpkin Spice Oreos. It’s exactly as exciting as it sounds. I wasn’t kidding in the vid — this really mi… Read More

  • thumb

    Doritos’ 1991 “Monster Match” Sweepstakes!

    Back in 1991, Doritos and Pepsi teamed to give away cash prizes in a special Halloween promotion. It was called Monster Match For Monster Money, and for a short time, it was the best thing on the planet. On specially marked packages of Doritos and Pepsi, we got game pieces that could’ve (poten… Read More

  • thumb

    Hostess Cakes for Halloween!

    Before I get to today’s delicious news, I’m happy to announce that Dino Drac’s Halloween Funpacks have finally been unveiled! October’s Funpack has a whole lotta Freddy Krueger, a new Ugly Mini Poster, a new specimen, an adorable Mordle, and more! Thanks to all subscribers, new and old! (Re… Read More

  • thumb

    Candy Corn Blow Pops!

    New from Charms, get a load of these Candy Corn Blow Pops! Please don’t continue reading until you’ve gotten a sufficient load of these Candy Corn Blow Pops. I’m no big fan of candy corn, but time has dulled burning hatred into a more casual apathy. “Oh, it’s candy corn. Not gonna eat… Read More

  • thumb

    Monster Balls from the ’80s!

    You should steal that image and put it on a t-shirt. Then, when you’re out in public, pretend that walking really hurts. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for us to talk about MONSTER BALLS. I’d wanted to write about these for over ten years, but the eBay prices were always too dissuasive. A fe… Read More

  • thumb

    Classic Creepy Commercials – Volume 5!

    It’s time for our fifth batch of Classic Creepy Commercials, provided once again by my friend Larry. (Not that Larry. The other one.) If you’ve found your Halloween spirit weakening under the weight of the real world, these grainy old commercials will fix everything. And if they don… Read More

  • thumb

    Dino Drac’s Tiny-Sized Halloween Store!

    As you can guess, running a site with this much content and on-hand reviews takes a ridiculous amount of time and a ridiculous amount of money. I wouldn’t be able to do it at this level without the help of readers willing to buy stupid things from me! So, welcome to Dino Drac’s tiny-sized Hallow… Read More

  • thumb

    Vicious Videocassette Boxes, Volume IV!

    Oh goodie, it’s finally time to dust off one of my favorite recurring features from last year’s Halloween Countdown! Vicious Videocassette Boxes! As y’all know by now, I have a pretty immense VHS collection, with an especially strong lean on horror movies. There are eight hundred reasons for t… Read More

  • brutethumb

    The 2014 General Mills Monster Cereals!

    Oh yes, the Monster Cereals are back. After last year’s legendary haul, can General Mills top themselves? Probably not, but find out in this video review, covering both the “regular” AND Target-exclusive “retro” boxes! (Special thanks to 2 Cool Ghouls for sending the “regular” boxes my… Read More

  • unthumb

    The Unsolved Mysteries Halloween Special!

    This one means a lot to me. Weeks after it became a regular series, Unsolved Mysteries aired a special Halloween episode. They’d only cop to it being an “all ghosts” special, but given its debut date — October 26th, 1988 — I don’t think it’s a stretch to consider it a Halloween… Read More

  • thumb


    I never expected 2014 to top last year’s incredible Halloween season, but man… I think we’re coming close. I already feel like I’m drowning in awesome Halloween shit, and we’re not even halfway through September. …and if I was on the fence about this possibly becoming an even more… Read More

  • alunch-thumb

    Halloween Lunchables Dessert Packs!

    My time management skills are really sucking today, but it isn’t midnight yet! I have fulfilled my obligations! Here’s a new video: Tonight I’m reviewing the 2014 Halloween Lunchables dessert packs, which include “S’mores Dippers” and “Dirt Cakes.” They’re actually modified versio… Read More

  • thumb

    Classic Creepy Commercials – Volume 4!

    I’m very glad to revive one of last year’s recurring features: CLASSIC CREEPY COMMERCIALS! In this series, I blather on about ancient TV commercials, each with some loose tie to the Halloween season. For the third year in a row, I have my friend Larry P. to thank for the ads, which were culled f… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Random SPOOKY Action Figures!

    Continuing with my “Five Random Action Figures” series, I thought I’d make this edition a little more appropriate for the Halloween Countdown. This time, our five random action figures are all TERRIBLE MONSTERS! Camouflage Swamp Thing Swamp Thing, 1990 This toy series found root (heyoooo) in … Read More

  • achee-thumb

    Cheetos “Bag of Bones” Review!

    It’s been a beautifully gloomy day, complete with an especially long thunderstorm. I’m so looking forward to camping on the couch with sunflower seeds and Michael Myers. But first, this! Oh, man. GORGEOUS. I’m not completely sure if they’re new for 2014, but they definitely weren’t around … Read More

  • thumb

    A Halloween photo from 1992.

    They say a picture is worth a thousand words. This one was good for 1174. No, it’s not mine. I do not know these people. I bought the photo from someone on eBay of all places. It spoke to me in ways even my own photos rarely do. It’s from 1992, and it perfectly encapsulatesRead More

  • twz

    Caramel Apple Twizzlers Review!

    I’m getting a good feeling about this year’s Halloween candy haul… New for 2014, it’s Caramel Apple Twizzlers! They’re apple twists filled with caramel goo! I’d tell you more, but that’s what the video is for. Watch my review, below! You are subscribed to Dino Drac on YouTube, right? G… Read More

  • thumb

    NECA’s Mego-style 8-bit Jason Voorhees.

    Remember last year’s SDCC exclusive Jason Voorhees figure? You know, the “8-bit” one? Of course you do. …but unless you’re a serious Friday the 13th fan, here’s something you probably don’t know: That figure started a minor revolution. I touched on this in my last Monster-Mania rep… Read More

  • magic-thumb

    I found some neat old Halloween JUNK.

    One of my favorite Halloween activities is raiding old pharmacies and random variety stores, hoping to score some ancient spooky treasure. I’ve been running Halloween Countdowns since 2003, and lemme tell ya, a LOT of my material came from places like those. Over the weekend, I hit the jackpot. A… Read More

  • thumb

    Pumpkin Pie Toaster Strudel!

    Posting content on Labor Day is instant internet death, but I can’t shake the feeling that there are exactly three of you dying to read 800 words about Toaster Strudel, now and now specifically. I won’t let you down! So, let’s give a warm welcome to Pumpkin Pie Toaster Strudel! It… Read More

  • arita-thumb

    The Bud Light Lime APPLE-AHHH-RITA!

    We’re barely into the season, but if you look hard enough, many new Halloween edibles are already out there! With Halloween’s worth relying so heavily on spooky foods never seen before, it’s great to see so many different companies jumping on the skull train. One of my early favorites is the b… Read More

  • hallothumb


    Is it… is it true? It is possible? Could another year have really gone by that fast? Is it seriously time for the… the… the Countdown? YES. Welcome, beloved strangers. Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula’s 2014 Halloween Countdown. From now through October 31st, I am the Devil. That role is now min… Read More

  • thumb

    Caramel Apple Oreo Cookies!

    The weather is starting to cool, the leaves are looking less green, and I’m suddenly craving Elm Street movies on a nightly basis. Oh, it’s in the air. Halloween is IN the air. For proof, look no further than Nabisco’s new Caramel Apple Oreo cookies. It may only be August, but these are utterl… Read More

  • thumb

    Krang is back, brother.

    I mentioned this on Dino Drac’s Facebook page, but it’s way too important to lose in the social media ether. Returning as part of the Ninja Turtles Classic Collection, it’s motherfucking KRANG. One of my favorite action figures EVER, and by far my favorite TMNT character. Hell, maybe my favor… Read More

  • thumb

    Cool junk I saw at Monster-Mania 28!

    “Came, saw, bought a few things, made a fool of myself, went home.” That would be the summary of my experiences at the 28th Monster-Mania horror convention, which took place in Cherry Hill last weekend. I fear I’m not in any position to give you a full report, since we spent so much of the ev… Read More

  • thumb

    Unwrapping BONKERS candy, from 1989!

    It all started with this thing: From 1989, it’s a promotional standee for Bonkers candy, celebrating their historic teaming with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I grew up loving everything on that standee, so when I had the chance to buy it, I jumped. If you don’t remember Bonkers, they were f… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Random Action Figures, Part 7!

    Since we’re up to the seventh installment of this series, I guess I can skip the preamble. Here are random action figures. Five of them! Biker Scout Star Wars, 1983 Behold, one of my favorite figures from Kenner’s immense Star Wars collection. Something about the Biker Scout’s boxy head appe… Read More

  • thumb

    13 toys sold on Amazon… in 1999!

    In November of 2000, I placed my first-ever order with Amazon. Reviewing my account, it looks like I bought Charmander earrings, two Furby Babies, and twenty of the exact same Darth Sidious figure, just because it was marked down to a buck. Probably shouldn’t have admitted all of that, but here’… Read More

  • thumb

    Highlights from TRU’s 1986 Summer Catalog!

    I was separating a stack of papers into “keep” and “toss” piles, and buried underneath so many hotel receipts and menus for dead restaurants, there it was… Yeah, this one went into the “keep” pile. It’s the Toys “R” Us Summer Fun Book, from 1986! Lightweight and only around a… Read More

  • thumb

    Jurassic Park Fruit Roll-Ups from 1997!

    I wasn’t sure if today’s topic truly deserved to be one, so I asked the folks on Twitter: Does anyone want to read about really old Fruit Roll-Ups? — Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) July 31, 2014 They said yes. And that’s how you came to read 750 words about old Fruit Roll-Ups. …an… Read More

  • thumb

    The five best CHUCKY items on eBay.

    Hi, I’m Matt. Child’s Play fan. I was a late bloomer with horror, but Chucky was an exception. From Day One, I was on his side. Of the right age to clearly recognize him as a riff on Hasbro’s My Buddy dolls, I stupidly assumed that the Child’s Play franchise was at least partially targetedRead More

  • thumb

    Flea Market Finds.

    I took a break from the yard sales this week, wanting to try my luck at a flea market at least once before summer was over. I begged Jay to tag along so I wouldn’t have to haggle alone, and off we went to Englishtown, New Jersey. I’ve written about the Englishtown flea market before.Read More

  • thumb

    The Ultimate ’80s Sticker Album.

    I now possess what I’m calling The Ultimate ‘80s Sticker Album. …but the truth is, it isn’t. Don’t get me wrong; as you’re about to see, it’s crazy awesome. But to say it’s the “ultimate” ‘80s sticker album is kind of fudging things. The real appeal of this book is how it… Read More

  • thumb

    Dinosaur Dracula loves Dinosaurs Attack!

    I’ve been dancing around this subject for years, referencing it in throwaway paragraphs that have done little to capture its supreme mega greatness. Today, finally, I’m going to give Dinosaurs Attack cards everything they’re owed. Dinosaurs Attack (formally styled with an exclamation point, bu… Read More

  • thumb

    Dino Drac Funpacks are back! (UPDATED!)

    IMPORTANT: If you’re looking to subscribe to the Funpacks, this is an older post. Check out the new subscription page here! Dino Drac Funpacks are back! And this time, here to stay. At least for the foreseeable future. Here’s the deal. I’m coming into that stretch of the year when I toss a… Read More

  • thumb

    Yard Sailin’, Volume IV.

    So after a month’s worth of pleasant experiences, I was finally reminded of why I stopped going to yard sales to begin with. I did find some nice things, but between the sellers and the buyers, every stop brought five new annoyances. Sellers were the big problem. I lost interest in yard sales when… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Random Action Figures, Part 6!

    Jeez, it’s been over a year since the last edition of Five Random Action Figures? On it, chief. Here are five more toys plucked from my shelves and bins. Some of them hold deep, personal meaning for me. Others are just cool killer robots. Slimer The Real Ghostbusters, 1986 While I’d argue that S… Read More

  • thumb

    The return of sooo many Kool-Aid flavors!

    And the hits just keep on comin’! Last November, my ears perked up during the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade broadcast. As a giant Kool-Aid Man rolled down 34th Street, one of the hosts casually announced some of upcoming flavors for 2014. Among them was SHARKLEBERRY FIN. The host didn’t know … Read More

  • thumb

    The Ninja Turtles invade Pizza Hut!

    Wackadoo promotions for the new Ninja Turtles movie are all over the place, and I couldn’t be happier about that. I know a lot of folks are feeling “cautious” about Michael Bay’s take, but whatever. A movie you don’t like is just a movie you don’t like, and it needn’t spoil the parts o… Read More

  • thumb

    Yard Sailin’, Volume III.

    Another weekend spent shamelessly rummaging through strangers’ trash! We only went to a few yard sales this weekend, owing to a late start and temperatures that could melt steel. Even so, my luck held. This is the third time in a row that I found dusty gold on foreign front lawns. Side story: A ya… Read More

  • thumb


    Oh. Oh my. This. Words. Fireworks. Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you’re sitting down. Hostess Chocodiles… HAVE RETURNED. I’ve been staring at this mostly-blank screen for five minutes, unable to come up with sentences worthy of delivering such news. Maybe there aren’t any. Maybe I should’ve… Read More

  • thumb

    Vintage Vending #21: Wrecking Power!

    On today’s edition of Vintage Vending, you will bow before the mighty power of a glow-in-the-dark sticky fist. Truth. The “Wrecking Power” collection arrived in the early ‘90s, and while it isn’t as showy as many of the sets previously featured on Dino Drac, I think I’m in love with it. … Read More

  • thumb

    Rediscovering Life Savers Holes!

    Today I pay tribute to Life Savers Holes. Tomorrow, I vacuum the upholstery in my car. Life Savers Holes! They came, they saw, and while I was convinced that they’d conquered, the fact that they no longer exist suggests otherwise. The world at large was not ready to accept the supposed leftovers … Read More

  • thumb

    Ten Things I Saw in Wildwood, NJ.

    This was a very short trip, so I can’t give you a full blow-by-blow on everything Wildwood has to offer. Even so, it seems I took just enough pictures and saw just enough interesting things to spend the next four hours writing loving tributes to dark rides and cereal-infused ice cream sundaes.… Read More

  • thumb

    More Yard Sale Scores.

    After my success at last week’s yard sales, I wondered if lightning would strike twice. It did! The gods of trash blessed me even harder this time, with cheap, geeky goods that I might have expected to find at yard sales 15-20 years ago. Much of this week’s haul came from a multi-family sale tha… Read More

  • thumb

    Yard Sailin’ for Fun and Profit.

    We went yard sailin’ on Saturday morning, and I think I hit the jackpot. (No, that’s not the jackpot.) I don’t go to yard sales as often as I did before everyone turned into a wannabe antique dealer. These days, you can barely buy paper plates without hearing about how they’re VERY VALUA… Read More

  • thumb

    Summer Berry Pebbles Cereal!

    “It’s the first day of summer” is both the truth and the opening line to my debut rap single, I Can’t Stand To Sit. I thought we’d celebrate the shift in seasons with the most summery thing imaginable: Bamm-Bamm Rubble beating the shit out of cereal. New from Post, it’s Pebbles Cereal in… Read More

  • thumb

    Little Debbie’s Sea Life Snacks!

    Guys. We need to have a serious discussion about Little Debbie. No stranger to seasonally-shaped snacks, Little Debbie had something special in mind for the 2014 summer season: Cookies and cakes based on sea animals. It’d be one thing if she picked sharks and dolphins, but Debbie went with jelly… Read More

  • thumb

    Ecto Cooler spotted in movies and TV!

    The weekend marks the 30th anniversary of Ghostbusters. Let’s celebrate with Ecto Cooler! Yeah, Hi-C Ecto Cooler, something I’ve written about four thousand times before, but never from this angle. Some friends tipped me off about extremely implausible yet entirely provable Ecto Cooler sightings… Read More

  • thumb

    Marino’s Italian Ice is good shit.

    I’d like to remind everyone that Marino’s Italian Ice is the best possible ice. Never heard of Marino’s? I’m pretty sure most of you haven’t. It’s regional. Apologies in advance for championing a water ice that you have absolutely no access to. I was first introduced to … Read More

  • thumb

    Vintage Vending #20: Sea World!

    It’s been over two months since my last post, because stuff happens, and we must sometimes accept that life is a big ball of shit aimed directly at our heads. But I didn’t want to let Memorial Day — my 16th favorite holiday — slide by without some Dino Drac action. So here’s someth… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Great Old Cereals.

    I own many ancient cereal boxes. Most of them live in plastic bins on a high shelf, trapped in cramped quarters with nothing to do except barely breathe. I believe it was the Dino Pebbles, or maybe the Smurfberry Crunch, that contacted me telepathically. “Brother, we need air.”… Read More

  • thumb

    eBay’s Mixed Lots = Works of Art.

    I started searching for mixed lots years ago, when it was still common to find good deals on eBay. Generally speaking, mixed lots go hand in hand with sellers who have no clue what they have. When you catch something desirable in the spread, it's rarely mentioned in the auction title or description.… Read More

  • thumb

    Ninja Turtles Cereal from Dimension X.

    Made by Nabisco in 1991, it’s like the cereal we grew up with, but from an alternate universe. So much is different, and yet, so much is the same. Compare this with the other box, and you’ll notice how the four Turtles are basically in the same positions, and are sort of making the exact same fa… Read More

  • thumb

    Stuff I found at Monster-Mania 27.

    On Friday, we found ourselves back on the familiar floors of Cherry Hill’s Crowne Plaza, ready to drink through the latest Monster-Mania convention. This was the 27th Monster-Mania. The first one I went to was only their third ever. Almost ten years later, and I still get a kick out it. I don’t … Read More

  • thumb

    Free Stuff For Kids, from 1992!

    Remember those book club flyers that we used to get in elementary school? I lived for those. Dinosaur books with ten words and fifty pictures! Sticker sheets starring ballerina bears that shouted various encouragements via word balloons! The errant Garfield bookmark! Most of the time, the things I b… Read More

  • thumb

    Vintage Vending #19: TMNT Balloons!

    It’s been over four months since the last edition of Vintage Vending. Let’s fix that. HERE ARE BALLOONS. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles balloons, even! This is from 1989, when literally everything branded with a Ninja Turtles logo was a must-buy. Though the teaser card lacks a sample, we can assum… Read More

  • thumb

    5 Misfit Toys, from the Flea Market.

    Saturday was spent at the Englishtown flea market with Ms. X and Jay. We three marveled at old records, cajun peanuts, and what I swear was a lipstick-wearing John Cena, immortalized on an unlicensed throw blanket that was large enough to double as a circus tent. The highlight — if you don’t… Read More

  • thumb

    Six Popsicles from the Year 2000.

    I’ve been absent for a while, busy with work, and even busier navigating the mountains of snow on the way to work. 2014 wasted no time in turning me into someone who thinks winter should be illegal. I picture a snowman on the witness stand, melting under the stress of hard questions. Unrelated to … Read More

  • thumb

    SpongeBob SquarePants Kid Cuisine!

    Like I was going to pass up a SpongeBob-shaped chicken nugget. Two things I hadn’t thought about in a while: SpongeBob and Kid Cuisine. Renewed awareness could have only come from mixing the two together. I can’t remember the last time Kid Cuisine did something so heavily thematic, and I’m kin… Read More

  • thumb

    I bought dinner from Master Wok.

    I’m not sure if Master Wok is part of a chain. Google reveals thirty thousand restaurants using the same name, but the logos are pretty inconsistent. I wouldn’t presume that the “Tony’s Pizza” in Philly is run by the same guy who owns the “Tony’s Pizza” three blocks away. I should ex… Read More

  • thumb

    Five drinks that should not be in my fridge.

    Refrigerators are private places. Intimate places. It’s hard to let strangers peek inside. I don’t want to be judged. I don’t want people to see Tupperwares full of sludge, and forever associate me with Tupperwares full of sludge. I don’t want people to know how much I like Laughing Cow … Read More


    Deadsites: Hot Topic, Circa 1998!

    That was the store for “posers,” or so the laws written by the weirdos higher up on the food chain dictated. What an idiotic protest. As if buying the same goofy shit from other stores made us any better? I think we were just mad that a shopping mall chain pegged us so accurately.… Read More

  • thumb

    The Toys in Adam Goldberg’s Bedroom!

    If you’re anywhere near my age, there's no way that you didn’t have a few of the things seen in Adam’s bedroom. No chance, no how. It was like the showroom version of the 1987 Sears Wish Book. I don’t know if they borrowed some super-collector’s stuff or actually hunted everything down on … Read More

  • thumb

    Another batch of old comic book ads!

    It’s been a long time since Dino Drac’s last Comic Book Ads review, and even longer since I dived into my specific favorite type of them: The tiny-sized ads that were all mashed together on the classifieds pages. That’s where the real treasures were! Fifty antique coins for a dollar! Legitima… Read More

  • thumb

    Ecto Cooler Twinkies?!

    Was there such a thing as Ecto Cooler Twinkies? Well, NO, but bear with me. Old news: Ecto Cooler was the Slimer-fronted Hi-C flavor, made to capitalize on the popularity of The Real Ghostbusters. The flavor overachieved, and Slimer seemed to remain on those boxes even after his superstar status di… Read More

  • thumb1

    The Best 99 Cent Store EVER.

    We spent New Year’s Eve in Atlantic City, with The Sexy Armpit’s Jay and his girlfriend Corinne. All I really remember is punching balloons and getting my ass handed to me at three card poker. And walking past some guy that I swore was Johnny Torrio from Boardwalk Empire, even if, in my heart, I… Read More

  • thumb2

    Toys I owned on 5/27/98.

    Back in 1998, I was definitely a collector. I’d been a collector for years by then, but you know how it is when you’re a careless kid and everything else goes to shit. You focus on your happy hobbies and pretend it’s okay to ignore everything else. In 1998, I was in DEEP.… Read More

  • thumb

    29 real world toys in Jingle All the Way!

    I know Christmas is over and we’re all ready to move on, but if you’ll forgive me this one last at-bat, I think you’ll agree that I had a good reason. If you’re smart, you watched Jingle All the Way at least once before Christmas. Arnold Schwarzenegger battling Sinbad for 1996’s hottes… Read More

  • thumb

    Christmas Fallout, 2013.

    Christmas Eve was spent with my family; Christmas with Ms. X’s. When we got home last night, I professed my desire to continue partying, just moments before falling unconscious for a literal half-day. When I woke up this morning, it was with the knowledge that Campari, eggnog and Patron should nev… Read More

  • thumb

    Merry Christmas, from Dinosaur Dracula!

    Today was nuts. We made a hundred stuffed mushrooms, and when I say “a hundred,” I don’t mean “a pile that looked like a hundred but was actually thirty.” I mean a literal HUNDRED stuffed mushrooms. I haven't chopped that much parsley since I needed hair for my life-sized edible Joker.… Read More

  • PEB-2

    Video: Sugar Cookie Pebbles Cereal!

    The 2013 Christmas season hasn’t been especially hot for weird food, but if you look hard enough, there are a few big time players. Like this one, for example. Post’s Pebbles cereal with a limited edition SUGAR COOKIE flavor. It looks good, it tastes good, and the box features Dino wearing Grinc… Read More

  • thumb

    Freezy Freakies: Gloves of Glory.

    Freezy Freakies. The one time I had any opinion at all about gloves. Made by Swany, they were decorated with everything ‘80s kids cared about, like robots and jets, and cute little animals. On that merit alone, they were destined for big things. 99% of gloves were boring, and if a child had to pic… Read More

  • thumb

    Christmas, 1988. A Photo Journey.

    Christmas Eve, 1988. I was nine years old. Our whole giant family spent most of the day in the dining room, like we always did on Christmas Eve. Actually, it wasn’t just the dining room. That dining room wouldn’t have fit even half of us. Instead, our regular table was joined by two folding tabl… Read More

  • thumb

    Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 2!

    I’ve been absent for a few days, because, as it turns out, December just isn’t my month! Still, nothing can pull me out of a forced funk faster than a Friday the 13th happening during Christmastime. Thank you, Jason and Santa. Now my world is rosy again. Here’s another batch of Classic Christm… Read More

  • thumb

    I don’t waste snowstorms.

    Take this house, for example. The lights were obviously handled by Professional Light People. This is the kind of family that makes you take your shoes off first. I imagine it being co-run by an aggressive power couple. I don’t think they have children, nor do I believe them to be hardcore Christm… Read More

  • thumb

    McDonald’s Holiday Pie!

    I’d never tried one before, but I’ve been hearing about them for years. Apparently, Holiday Pies were discontinued at one point, or at least released in fewer states. Google searches will reveal a LOT of hysteria surrounding these pies.… Read More

  • thumb

    Sprite Cranberry Soda Review.

    Uh oh – it looks like a new CRANBERRY SODA has entertered the arena! I’m leaving “entered” misspelled because this was already a shitty opener. There it is. Sprite Cranberry. Joining mainstays like Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash and Cranberry Canada Dry, Sprite Cranberry’s arrival involves a… Read More

  • thumb

    My 1993 Christmas Tiki Hut.

    Hot damn, I finally found it. Photographic evidence of that weird thing I did back in junior high. For several years, I used our family’s Christmas Eve party as an excuse to throw my own. Guests were encouraged away from the dinner table and into my bedroom, for a look at what I called THE CHRISTM… Read More

  • thumb

    Christmas Crunch with Jingle Bell Rocks?!

    I should be more excited about Christmas Crunch’s glorious return, but… Ho ho hum. They didn’t redesign the box. It’s exactly the same as last year’s. And last year’s was exactly the same as 2011’s. I’d buy Christmas Crunch even if they released it in plain paper bags, but there’s … Read More

  • thumb

    Holiday Goodwill Goodies!

    Remember when I went to Goodwill to find Halloween goodies? I thought it would be interesting to do the same for Christmas, so on Sunday, I went to that very same Goodwill store – the one with the stupid address that always makes my GPS explode. The results were… mixed.… Read More

  • thumb

    Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 1!

    It’s already December? How did that happen? Thanks to an unusually late Thanksgiving, it completely caught me by surprise. Now I’m panicking. It’s the month that flies by in a week! I’m two power naps away from January! Screw that. Renewing Dino Drac’s celebration of all things red and gre… Read More

  • thumb

    Edible Stocking Stuffers!

    I bought a big pile of edible stocking stuffers. Most of you would probably avoid these, whether because they’re made of dried meat or because they’re actually meant for cats. Me? I don’t discriminate. I love all stocking stuffers. Here are 70-100 words about each.… Read More

  • thumb

    Thanksgiving is fantastic.

    Well, Thanksgiving kicked off with huge news. I’m sitting there watching a giant Kool-Aid Man roll by, and what does Matt Lauer announce? THE PENDING RETURN OF SHARKLEBERRY FIN. Oh my GOD. YESSSS! I’ll have more to say about this fantastic news later. This post is just meant to be my general… Read More

  • thumb

    I won a giant gingerbread house.

    …that’s the short version. I won a giant gingerbread house. It’s huge, it’s delicate, and it smells so sincere. Good God, the smell! Glade might try to make it into an aerosol mist, but only the genuine articles smell like this. I won it from that Christmas fair. The one I’ve been going to… Read More

  • thumb

    That cheese with the nuts around it.

    No Christmas season is complete without THAT CHEESE. I don’t know if there’s an official term for it. They’re essentially hockey pucks made of cheese, rimmed with crushed almonds. I cannot remember a Christmas Eve without them. They sometimes appeared during Thanksgiving or even the scattered … Read More

  • thumb

    TMNT “Capture the Kraang” Game!

    Right, like I was going to pass this up. “Capture the Kraang” is a clever spin on the old game where you use a little rod to yank fake fish out of a plastic pool. As the title suggests, they’ve replaced the fish with eight goddamned snapping Kraang.… Read More

  • thumb

    Holiday Goldfish Crackers x1000.

    If “Christmas” and “Pepperidge Farm Goldfish” both rank high on the list of things you adore, you are so unbelievably covered. We’ve seen Christmassy Goldfish before, but never this many at the same time. The only reasonable inference is that Pepperidge Farm Goldfish is the official snack … Read More

  • newt2

    Bud Light Lime’s “Cran-Brrr-Rita!”

    I’m on a big project this week, which is eating my time and making me crazy, but at least temporarily funding my passion for cranberry-infused alcoholic beverages. SPEAKING OF WHICH… Today’s video is my review of Bud Light Lime’s “Cran-Brrr-Rita.” The margarita with a twist! These are GO… Read More

  • cthumb

    Capri Sun’s Jingle Berry Holiday Pack!

    This year’s run of holiday junk food looks to be pretty fantastic. I’ve already spotted many great things, and not just repeats from last year, either. I’m talking about all NEW things. Leading the way is a special box of Christmassy Capri Sun! Capri Sun’s “Limited Time Holiday Packs” in… Read More

  • thumb

    The Trash Pack Advent Calendar!

    I took a few days to lose the post-Halloween doldrums, but now I’m back, and ready to talk about candy canes. Almost. Dino Drac’s 2013 Holiday Season has arrived, and with it, another swank logo courtesy of Jason Week. We’ll come up with something else for December, but a “Thanksgiving Day P… Read More

  • thumb

    Shrunken Apple Head’s 10th Birthday!

    Oof. This one’s gonna be bittersweet for me. I’ll tell you why in a minute. Guys, it’s Shrunken Apple Head’s TENTH birthday! Shrunken Apple Head first appeared on X-Entertainment in 2003, as part of my ill-fated attempt to review an ancient Vincent Price “Shrunken Head” kit without actua… Read More

  • thumb

    Happy Halloween!

    Holy shit, it’s Halloween. Finally? Already?! The 2013 Halloween Countdown isn’t over yet (COME BACK TONIGHT!), but I hope you enjoyed it. More importantly, I hope you enjoyed the whole damn season. I know I have. Usually, Halloween gets here, and there’s a tiny voice inside me screaming, “T… Read More

  • thumb

    Horror Spitballs, from 1989!

    The rumors are true. I have eight balls. Made by Entertech in 1989, the SPITBALLS collection turned our favorite slashers, monsters and ghosts into… well, spitballs. Each set came with two hollow rubber heads, with pinholes in the mouths. Squeeze ‘em underwater to fill ‘em up, and squeeze ‘e… Read More

  • thumb

    Rocks & Bugs & Things!

    Rocks & Bugs & Things may very well be the strangest toy line of all time. Made by Ideal in 1985, there was nothing typical about these “hungry hunters with hidden horrors.” This much should be obvious just by looking at the box. No, your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you. No, there is… Read More

  • cccthumb

    Classic Creepy Commercials – Volume 3!

    I’ve been absent for a few days, owing to several minor things that snowballed at the WORST POSSIBLE TIME. The assumption is that life went on without those three or four extra posts about candy and costumes. In any event, now I’m back, and I have more Classic Creepy Commercials! Here’s the th… Read More

  • thumb

    Vintage Vending #18: Rotting Vermin!

    Okay, this has gotta be the weirdest edition of Vintage Vending yet. LOOK AT THIS THING! No formal title for the collection was provided, I guess because “Bugs & Fish Guts” would’ve been more polarizing than fetching. Everything about it is off. I’ll describe the individual prize… Read More

  • thumb

    Preserving the Monster Cereals.

    After spending half of August gushing over Monster Cereals, I deliberately took a break from covering them – even as those swank retro boxes started piling up at Target. Please don’t confuse my silence with dispassion. I bought those fuckers in bulk the second I saw them. Even over a month later… Read More

  • thumb

    Halloween Pancakes!

    Halloween is JUST TOO CLOSE. Since it falls on a Thursday, I can’t shake the feeling that everything will putter out like the last season of Heroes. For all intents, Halloween is this weekend, and that is JUST TOO CLOSE. So I’m sort of just grabbing at everything now, determined to do as much Ha… Read More

  • price

    Classic Creepy Commercials – Volume 2!

    With another assist from Larry P., here’s the next batch of Classic Creepy Commercials! (You’ve read Volume 1, right?) Exactly zero of these have any clear link to the Halloween season, and yet, all of them are undeniably Halloweeny. If you’re in need of a late October spirit boost… Read More

  • spid-thumb

    Madd Matt reviews SPIDER BITES candy, from 1990.

    Madd Matt sure spent a long time making this video! Never heard of Spider Bites? Made by Topps in 1990, it was a collection of ghoulish spider figurines that dispensed awful, colorful candy. They came in a really great box! Thank you.… Read More

  • thumb

    Yet More Vicious Videocassette Boxes!

    I’m back with another edition of “hey here are some videos sitting around the house that are tangentially related to Halloween.” Enjoy, and make sure you've read parts one and two!… Read More

  • thumb

    Vintage Vending #17: Halloween Horrors!

    The Vintage Vending series returns with an incredibly seasonal addition. From 1994, get a load of the HALLOWEEN HORRORS collection! We’ve seen better prizes in the past, but on card art alone, this may be my favorite entry yet. I’ve seen plenty of vending assortments with “horror” flavors, b… Read More

  • thumb

    Mountain Dew Pitch Black is BACK!

    Okay guys, I have some big news. But before you get too excited, there’s a pretty major catch. MOUNTAIN DEW PITCH BLACK IS BACK! Yup. No joke. That’s a 2013 can of Halloween’s unofficially official soda. But here’s the catch… You’ll need to import it from freakin’ Malaysia.… Read More

  • thumb

    Obscure Freddy Krueger Merch!

    Without meaning to, I’ve amassed a pretty diverse collection of Freddy Krueger merchandise. I guess the best explanation is that it’s very easy to do. Especially in his heyday, Freddy Krueger really stood apart from his slasher brethren on the merchandise front. His steady evolution into a kille… Read More

  • thumb

    Meet GORZAK.

    Introducing GORZAK, one of the best toys you’ve never heard of. Made by Tyco in 1994, the battery-operated behemoth stood around fifteen inches tall, feeling much like a cousin of the Inhumanoids. Here’s the commercial, but I warn you: Nobody can watch this without making the acquisition of Gorz… Read More

  • thumb

    Old & New Halloween Gum!

    This article is about GUM. New gum and old gum. I’m grouping them together because they’re brothers from different mothers. The Big League Chew packages are new for 2013, while the mysterious “Shreds” are… well, actually, I have no idea when they’re from. 1977? 1995? All I know for sure … Read More

  • comthumn

    Classic Creepy Commercials – Volume 1!

    If you were reading last year, you’ll probably remember the Creepy Commercials Countdown, where I did reallllly long reviews of old spooky commercials all throughout October. Given my failure to keep it updated last year, discontinuing the feature wasn’t a tough call. It took a little too much t… Read More

  • thumb

    Screamin’ Pumpkin Spice Chips Ahoywiches!

    Hungry? Try these! I’m calling them Screamin’ Pumpkin Spice Chips Ahoywiches. When you can’t come up with something clever, come up with something long. Shown above is everything you’ll need. You could swap every ingredient out for another and make some other bizarre Halloween ice cream sand… Read More

  • phantomthumb

    The Unknown Phantom Costume!

    While killing a few minutes at Walmart last night, I stumbled upon a costume that I could NOT leave without. This one: The UNKNOWN PHANTOM costume! The chances of me actually needing a Halloween costume this year are slim, but who could turn this down? It’s a full-body reaper outfit with blinking … Read More

  • thumb

    The 2013 Halloween Mood Table!

    It’s October. Officially October. Undeniably October. I’m happy it’s here, but I’m also petrified. The Halloween season is moving so FAST this year! September flew by in what felt like a week, and I’m sure October will be no different. Be sure to make the most of it, guys. A good way to st… Read More


    Goosebumps Voice-Changing Haunted Mask!

    October is just around the corner, which, of course, is our universal signal to kick our spooky celebrations into second gear. I have much to prepare, so pardon me if I rush through this! Everyone knows about the Goosebumps books and TV series, but have you ever seen the amazing merchandise that cam… Read More

  • thumb

    Caramel Apple Toaster Strudel!

    I’ve been scouting Toaster Strudel for years now, waiting for Pillsbury to come out with the inevitable  “Halloween edition.”  Well, they finally did it! Course, it’s not as much a Halloween edition as an autumn edition, and even then, it’s not very explicit. Whatever. I don’t think it… Read More

  • rhumb

    Campbell’s Super Mario Soup!

    I’m taking a day off from Halloweening, because this just can’t wait. Three words, everyone. SUPER. MARIO. SOUP. New from Campbell’s, Mario and friends have finally been immortalized as broth-soaked pieces of pasta. I heard the news on Tumblr a week or so ago, but it was quickly forgotten unde… Read More

  • thumb

    Deadsites: House on Haunted Hill!

    I saw House on Haunted Hill on its opening night – October 29th, 1999. A stone’s throw from the last Halloween of the ‘90s. I wonder if that’s why I have such fond memories of it? I really do. I think it’s amazing. Too many people focus on its admittedly dopey ending, and forget that the r… Read More

  • thumb

    Imperial’s Classic Movie Monsters!

    If Imperial’s “Classic Movie Monsters” seem vaguely familiar… GOOD. That’s the best way to describe them. “Vaguely familiar.” The small collection of laaaarge Universal Monsters figures arrived in 1986, and in one way or another, I’m convinced that everyone on the planet has owned at… Read More

  • thumb

    The Times Scare Disaster.

    On Saturday night, a bunch of us went to Times Scare New York City, a restaurant slash haunted house that I’ve been spying on for years. This group also included my friends from Freddy in Space and The Sexy Armpit, so before I get too deep into the more boring parts of this review, let me apologiz… Read More

  • thumb

    MORE Vicious Videocassette Boxes!

    Continuing on with the Vicious Videocassette Boxes series, here’s Part 2! Five more dusty old tapes, and the memories they inspire! #6: Ghoulies II (1988) Watch the trailer! You should remember the original Ghoulies from the first batch. This time, the “green toilet monster” shed his clothes a… Read More

  • thumb

    Six Foot Freddy Krueger Decoration!

    A friend – let’s call him “M” – told me to keep an eye on the mailbox. Assuming “M” did not mean this literally, I complied. My reward was a 72-inch Freddy Krueger with a huge head and absolutely no feet. “M” apologized for leaving the price sticker on. He feared that any attempt a… Read More

  • thumb

    Halloween Color Blanks, Super-Sized!

    During last year’s Countdown, I tossed up a ditty about RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks – the “naked” vinyl figures that come with really inky markers to help you to bring them to life. I didn’t expect to be writing about them again, but the upgrade for 2013 is too major to skip. Not on… Read More

  • t-1

    The Jones Soda 2013 Halloween Flavors!

    They’re BACK. The key points: 1. Jones Soda’s Halloween flavors have RETURNED. 2. This year, the collection includes Red Licorice, Candy Corn, Blood Orange and Caramel Apple. 3. I made a big long video about them! Enjoy. I’m gonna go spend an hour doing nothing productive.… Read More

  • thumb

    Spooky Old Cereal Prizes!

    Longtime readers should remember my obsession with old cereal prizes. If you’re not a longtime reader: I’m obsessed with old cereal prizes. You’ll still find free toys in certain boxes, but it isn’t like it used to be. Growing up, the competition between breakfast cereals seemed as much abou… Read More

  • luckthumb

    Lucky Charms Halloween Treats!

    Today was the day that all Targets were supposed to officially switch from “back to school” from “Halloween,” or so the said the rumor mill. Turns out, the news was only partially true. I had to hit three different Targets to finally escape the spread of schoolbags and notebooks, but in the … Read More

  • t-2

    Friday the 13th: Vintage TV Spots!

    You know what today is, right? FRIDAY THE 13th. One that’s occurring smack dab in the middle of the HALLOWEEN SEASON. Don’t squander it, guys. Calendar blessings like this won’t happen often. I’m mandating that all of you watch at least one of the Friday the 13th movies today. I’d be happi… Read More

  • t-3

    Halloween at Kmart!

    Doing the Halloween Countdown involves a lot of hunting. It always has. I can’t rely on any one or two stores to “fill the tank” for two months’ worth of posts, so I’m constantly searching for more, and my core base of “retail hot spots” is always growing. For the first several Countdo… Read More

  • thumb

    Halloween Lunchables!

    Last night’s trip to Target was looking like another fruitless pile of trashy despair. The “back to school” section was still in full swing, and Halloween was nowhere in sight. This would’ve been much more depressing had frozen raspberries not been on sale. But miracles do happen, and just w… Read More

  • thumb

    Vicious Videocassette Boxes!

    I’ve written about my lifelong fascination with horror videos too many times to get away with it again, but the gist of it is that I don’t look at them as just “tapes.” Some are mementos, others are art, but all are more than the mere means to watch movies in an archaic way.… Read More

  • thumb

    Roseanne’s LETHAL LODGE.

    One of my favorite posts from last year’s Countdown was this tribute to Roseanne’s first Halloween special, titled “Boo.” The Emmy-nominated second season episode kicked off a tradition that would last until the end of the series. Every year, you could always count on the Conners to do SOMET… Read More

  • thumb

    The “Terror Tires” Art Expo!

    PAGES: ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR Well guys, you didn’t let me down. Almost eighty of you participated in the Terror Tires Art Expo, successfully changing a boring ass tire graphic into incredibly Halloweeny works of art. Thanks a million to everyone who joined the fun. If you missed the deadline, d… Read More

  • fruitthumb

    “Tropical Terror” Fruit by the Foot!

    Another great thing about the 2013 Halloween season is that it isn’t just about the heavy hitters. Fruit Brute and Ghoul-Aid Jammers may be getting the bulk of the press, but even plenty of the simpler things are amazing. Don’t overlook ‘em! For example, take Fruit by the Foot’s Hallowee… Read More

  • thumb

    The Real Ghostbusters Happy Meal!

    If you’re around my age – and even if you’re not – you should be able to remember a dozen times when McDonald’s sweetened the Halloween season. From McBoo pails to the costumed McNugget buddies, Ronald McDonald has often seemed like Halloween’s Santa Claus, always ready to reward the bur… Read More

  • thumb

    Gurglin Gutz. That’s what they’re called!

    Gurglin Gutz was a smallish line of gruesome “stress balls” that made rude noises when you squeezed them. That about says it all, but I live to stretch! The collection debuted in 1995, and as you can tell from the above example, the toys weren’t much different from the “unpackaged” novelti… Read More

  • thumb

    Ghoul-Aid Jammers ARE HERE!

    I finally found them. THANK GOD. Now I can breathe again. I’d like to introduce you to the greatest thing that’s ever been served in a foil pouch: GHOUL-AID JAMMERS! *cheers* It’s great stuff. Amazing flavor, amazing packaging, amazing everything. One note: I didn’t notice th… Read More

  • thumb

    Deadsites: 1995’s Halloween Mart!

    At some point over the next two months, you’ll probably find yourself wading through the glut of online costume shops, hoping to find that rare glow-in-the-dark Predator mask that I’m pretty sure I just made up. If so, there’s a good chance you’ll land at Halloween Mart, which boasts that i… Read More

  • new-thumb

    Dunkin’ Donuts Pumpkin Coffee K-Cups!

    Happy Labor Day! Historically one of the worst days to post new content! Let’s celebrate with four minutes of me drinking coffee! Pumpkin K-Cups from Dunkin’ Donuts may sound like an acquired taste, but trust me, they’re GOOD. As someone who is cursed to love Halloween while being aver… Read More

  • thumb

    Ghoulish Goodwill Goodies!

    Now, when you look at the above photo, and I tell you that that was barely a fourth of their Halloween “junk shelf” items, you might think that I hit the jackpot. Actually, I really needed to hunt for the goodies. Between the prices and the fact that so much of it was the same stuff you’d find… Read More


    The 2013 Halloween Countdown Begins!

    “Perversity is the human thirst for self-torture.” – Edgar Allan Poe For most of the year, I only exist. I grasp at distractions and have my share of smiles, but still, for most of the year, I just exist. It’s kind of a waking, walking hibernation. And now, it’s finally over. W… Read More

  • starburstthumb

    The Starburst Candy Corn Taste-Test.

    I’m trying to keep my Halloweenosity in check until 8/31, but it’s kinda hard when life keeps throwing things like this in my face: Yep, it’s Starburst Candy Corn! Fruit-flavored and appropriately colored, they’re ideal for people who hate the flavor of candy corn, but love t… Read More

  • matthumb

    VIDEO: Frute Brute & Fruity Yummy Mummy!

    It’s been an absolutely crazy few days, and it’s all because of Fruity Yummy Mummy. (Okay. Frute Brute, too.) If you’ve been paying attention to Dino Drac and its ten thousand social media extensions, you know that I’ve been all over the “returning Monster Cereal” news. Well, it took ext… Read More

  • thumb

    Monster-Mania XXV Convention Report!

      The Monster-Mania horror convention returned to New Jersey this weekend, and for the sixth or seventh time, we were thurrrrrr. Over the years, my visits to Monster-Mania have devolved from weekend-long adventures to quick trips through the dealer rooms. Even with a blockbuster celebrity lineup in… Read More

  • mummythumb

    Frute Brute and Fruity Yummy Mummy ARE BACK.

    Between 10AM and 12PM, I received word from three different readers about the cereals. At that point, Frute Brute was only a "possibly-maybe," but I had a confirmed Fruity Yummy Mummy sighting from an employee of a certain national chain.… Read More

  • thumb

    Yet More Old Comic Book Ads!

    Since this will obviously just be another of my “random old comic book ad” reviews, there isn’t much point in slaving over a meaningful introduction. Instead, I’ll use this space to tell you about last night’s dream. I went into a sporting goods store, which I guess was the first clue that… Read More

  • thumb

    Deadsites #6: Ghost Ship Movie Site!

    In this edition of Deadsites, we’re taking a look at the official movie site for 2002’s Ghost Ship. Starring Gabriel Byrne and Julianna Margulies, it’s about an abandoned luxury liner stuffed with treasure and torment. Here’s the trailer: I saw Ghost Ship exactly once, on a night when I was … Read More

  • thumb

    The Popsicle Parade – Part 4!

    This will probably be the last edition of The Popsicle Parade for 2013, so please, a moment of silence from those who have enjoyed looking at old ice cream stickers. Thank you. That was special. #21: Firecracker Root Beer Float! I’m loving the discovery that this “Firecracker” popsicle was act… Read More

  • thumb

    Vintage Vending #16: Super Mega Edition.

    I’ve been visibly absent these past few days, but it was for a good cause. Been getting ahead on a few things for this year’s Halloween Countdown. This may be the first time in forever that I’m actually over-prepared, at least in terms of having enough topics to cover 40+ spooky posts. I’ll … Read More

  • thumb

    Trading Card Madness.

    Since shipping those Cruel Summer Funpacks involved digging deep into my immense collection of trading cards, I’ve spent the past week drowning in paperboard nostalgia. With even the really old sets still being easy to find, I guess I’d overlooked just how much they used to mean to me. I needed … Read More

  • thumb

    My Pet Monster.

    It all started at a random junk store. Somewhere between the electric flyswatters, the bootleg Snuggies, and the breakfast cereals based on movies that haven’t been in theaters since 2010, I found this: An adorable tank, complete with a plastic palm tree. I’ve probably mentioned this before,… Read More

  • thumb

    The Last Video Store in the World.

    Every now and again, I scour local business directories for any last remaining video stores. (And please, let’s not get into any semantics battles: Even when they’re renting DVDs, I still call them “video stores.”) As you know, they’re a dying breed. I used to only complain when larger cha… Read More

  • thumb

    1980s Candy Heads!

    If you’re unfamiliar with “candy heads,” they were candy-filled containers shaped like the heads of our most beloved TV and movie characters. But you could probably tell that from the photo. They still exist in many forms, but it isn’t like it used to be. There was a time when virtually ever… Read More

  • draculathumb

    Epoch’s “Dracula” Game, from 1982!

    I wrote about this many years ago. Now I will rehash my thoughts in video form! Epoch’s DRACULA game was released in 1982. Even if its graphics and noises are way dated, the theme hasn’t lost a step. There are monsters, mazes and coffins, and it’s up to YOU to steal Dracula’s… Read More

  • thumb

    Random McDonald’s Trayliners!

    Here’s the sequel to something I wrote back in 2007, about old McDonald’s “trayliners.” You know, the paper placemats that lined our trays whenever we ate at McD’s. Truly, the biggest disadvantage of taking your food to go was missing the chance to watch oily fries turn a trayliner… Read More

  • swim-thumb

    Pink Swimmingo Kool-Aid, from 1992!

    Here’s me, trying “Pink Swimmingo” Kool-Aid from 1992. It’s one of the few “character flavors” I never got around to back on X-E. It’s pretty wonderful stuff! Really wish Kool-Aid would start doing the custom flavor mascots again. I love the Kool-Aid Man as … Read More

  • thumb

    NECA’s “8-Bit Jason Voorhees” Figure!

    If you follow me here or here, you’ve probably seen me flip over NECA’s SDCC exclusive “8-Bit Jason Voorhees” figure, based on his appearance in the old Nintendo game. Fortunately for those who couldn’t/wouldn’t go to the convention, NECA also sold them online. Ho… Read More

  • thumb

    The 10 best “Carnival Mirror Prizes” on eBay.

    The situation, made a billion times worse: This post is about carnival mirror prizes. 99% of you have no idea what I even mean by that, and I’m in no position to explain it. We’re totally fucked here, and I haven’t even started.… Read More

  • thumb

    Deadsites #5: Pokemon World, from 1999!

    Today on Deadsites: A whole lotta Pikachu. If you don’t care about Pokemon, you uh… may want to pick a different article to read. I wrote two yesterday, if that helps? Technically, this isn’t as much a “Deadsite” as a changed site. Pokemon.com is still active, obviously, but it’s ch… Read More

  • thumb

    14 Photos of Snakeweed.

    I took fourteen photos of Snakeweed. See below. Photo #1: This is Snakeweed, one of the evil mutants from the new TMNT series. Which I suppose isn’t all that “new” anymore. The figure came out a while ago, but I normally only see the four Turtles in stores – never their assorted friends and … Read More

  • thumb

    1990s Comic Books Ads!

    A week or so ago, I bought a big pile of old comic books. Since I have little interest in what Ghost Rider was doing in 1994, my purchase was mostly made to find more of those great old ads. Here are five, at random!… Read More

  • octhumb

    Ocean Creatures Crackers!

    The real world kept me from Dino Drac for a week, and now I’m all rusty. I have longer posts waiting to be written, but today calls for something breezy and brainless. How about cheese crackers shaped like squid? Ocean Creatures! I found them at Dollar Tree, and was immediately enamored with the c… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Random Action Figures, Part 5!

    I was supposed to see Pacific Rim tonight. Then our plans changed. Then I went on Wikipedia and read every single thing that happens. On the idiocy scale of 1 to 10, I like spaghetti. I’m seeing it tomorrow, but I’m still pissed enough to let those feelings seep into this fucking article about s… Read More

  • thumb

    The Popsicle Parade – Part 3!

    It’s been a while since the last edition of The Popsicle Parade, and summer isn’t getting any younger. Here are five more treats from yesteryear’s ice cream trucks, represented by big yellow stickers that photograph horribly!  #16: Firecracker! If you think this one’s boring, it’s only be… Read More

  • thumb

    Realm of the Underworld Figures!

    You’ve surely noticed the slew of “independent” toy lines that have materialized in recent years. You know, the kind you see funded by Kickstarter campaigns, which often take inspiration from retro lines? I won’t pretend that there’s never a dud, but so many of these “microbrew” lines … Read More

  • thumb

    Deadsites #4: Edy’s Godzilla Ice Cream!

    I’m no fan of Roland Emmerich’s Godzilla, but man, I wanted to be. I saw it way late, and hoped that its parade of awful reviews were only written by people who’d either “missed the point” or were inherently joyless. Nah. It really was terrible. But that doesn’t damper my memories of its… Read More

  • thumb

    Deadsites #3: The Craft Movie Site!

    Today on Deadsites: The official site for The Craft, a film about disenfranchised high school teens who change their fortunes with witchcraft. In more direct terms: Fairuza Balk, hamming it up as a black magician. So of course I loved it. The Craft came out in 1996, as did its website. It had the tr… Read More

  • thumb

    Deadsites #2: Pepsi Blue’s Official Site!

    Deadsites rages on with its second edition. Today’s website is about old soda and Papa Roach. No guesses? Fine. Here’s an obnoxiously tall hint: Yep, we’re about to revisit the official website of PEPSI BLUE, from 2002! I wrote about this stuff when it was brand new. (I’m old, you see.) I wa… Read More

  • thumb

    Deadsites #1: Lake Placid Movie Site!

    It’s a theme that’s come up once or twice in past articles, but I adore it too much. I must beat it into the ground. Presenting Dino Drac’s latest recurring feature: DEADSITES. Through the power of the Wayback Machine, we’re going to look at lots of old, dead websites. Why? Because I’m sc… Read More

  • thumb

    ID4 Alien Supreme Commander!

    With mere hours until July 4th, it’s only fitting that I finally write something about one of my favorite movies, Independence Day. Maybe “favorite” is a strong word, but I saw that film in theaters no less than ten times. I memorized every line, right down to Bill Pullman’s torching… Read More

  • thumb

    Vintage Vending #15: Pom Poms!

    The first sentence is always hardest, unless you kill it with bullshit like this. Today on Vintage Vending, meet the Pom Poms! Six adorably fuzzy beasts from God knows where, ready to offer us love and companionship! Their feet are stickers! We’ll see more of them in a bit. First, we gotta get thr… Read More

  • thumb

    Impossibly Pink Rice Krispies Treats.

    It all started with the marshmallows. Kraft’s “Strawberry Mallows” are pinker than pigs, and I can never say no to a new type of marshmallow. (I understand that these might not be new, but I’d never seen them before this weekend.) It’s a sick habit, really it is. I don’t even like marshm… Read More

  • thumb

    Dino Drac Visits Point Pleasant – Part 2!

    Here’s the second half of my Point Pleasant trip report. Better late than never? Is this not exactly the type of infectious enthusiasm that keeps you coming back for more?… Read More

  • x-thumb

    Dino Drac Visits Point Pleasant – Part 1!

    We went to Point Pleasant last weekend. I saw too many great things for just one post, so come back tomorrow for Part 2! Never heard of Point Pleasant? It’s a beach town in New Jersey, but when I say “Point Pleasant,” I’m specifically referring to its boardwalk, stuffed with games, rides, ju… Read More

  • thumb

    The 5 best Shamu items on eBay.

    I hate that I’ve learned too much to support the concept of captive killer whales being made to perform circus tricks. As a kid, I truly believed that Shamu enjoyed jumping through hoops. The entire SeaWorld brand was built around Shamu, and it’s been a Shamu-fest over there for decades. As such… Read More

  • thumb

    Matt’s Medium Adventure!

    A few weeks ago, Ms. X and I agreed to help a relative get to and from the hospital for a minor surgery. Yesterday was the day. There were no complications, but the procedure ended up taking four times longer than everyone expected. That left us with several hours to drive around the area, desperate… Read More

  • thumb


    The only flaw is that he doesn’t stand very well. To keep the figure upright involved the kind of ballet-level tip-toeing that I previously never knew I was capable of. There’s a reason you’ve never seen anyone rain dance around an upright ULTIMATE TERMINATOR.… Read More

  • thumb

    Watermelon Oreo Cookies!

    I’ve received no less than two dozen messages from readers eager to hear my thoughts about Nabisco’s new Watermelon Oreos. And if we remove the word “dozen” from the preceding statement, it’d actually be true. Behold, Watermelon Oreo cookies. On one hand bizarre, yet still perfect for summ… Read More

  • thumb

    Vintage Vending #14: Magic Tricks and Jokes!

    The “Magic Tricks and Jokes” assortment is like an old Johnson Smith ad come to life. The collective charm far outweighs the fact that every item on the card is a hunk of junk, at least in the practical sense.… Read More

  • thumb

    Red, White & Berry Pop-Tarts!

    I found patriotic Pop-Tarts. Okay, so exactly how popular are Pop-Tarts, anyway? I can’t name another food that gets anywhere near this many special editions. Kellogg’s goes nuts for every holiday, and I don’t just mean the big ones. If it’s on the calendar – any calendar – Kellogg’s m… Read More

  • kang

    Dino Drac goes to the zoo!

    In the zoo’s reptile wing, I was mesmerized by this Gila Monster, a venomous lizard with a taste for bird eggs. While technically dangerous, the Gila Monster’s scary reputation is based more on myth than fact.… Read More

  • z2

    The Legend of Zelda!

    While digging through some more old storage bins, I came across that. The Legend of Zelda, for the Nintendo Entertainment System. Finding an old Zelda cartridge might normally only be cause for a passing smile, but this was different. This was 100% complete, in its original box, with the manual and … Read More

  • thumb

    Red Robin’s Wolverine Burger!

    There’s a new Wolverine movie coming out next month. I know nothing about it. But I noticed that the internet was going crazy this morning, when news broke of a pair of Wolverine-themed hamburgers now available at Red Robin: I live for silly, fleeting promotions like this! Just imagine the events … Read More

  • thumb

    Five Random Action Figures, Part 4!

    I’ve been sorting through my storage bins. Not the usual ones. These are the bins that time forgot. Stuff I stashed away more than ten years ago. Back then, I was still in “save everything” mode, so I’ve spent many years believing there was nothing but garbage in them. (Broken videos? Chippe… Read More

  • thumb

    My 21-year-old dinosaur statue.

    This post is brought to you by serendipity. At least, I hope it is. I’m not totally clear on what “serendipity” means. See this? It’s a baby dinosaur statue, made by Windstone. I bought it in 1992. I was thirteen years old. This poor dinosaur has had it rough. Look close and you’ll see… Read More

  • thumb

    Dino Drac Visits Keansburg, NJ!

    I made a vow to return to my old Jersey shore haunts this year. It’s been way too long. First on my list was the Keansburg Amusement Park, a fairly small beachside attraction filled with rides, games and fried clams. Last year’s hurricane hit Keansburg hard, and several “relic attractions” b… Read More

  • thumb

    Dinosaur Dracula’s 1st Birthday!

    One year ago today, Dinosaur Dracula hatched. It’s my baby’s birthday! Let’s party. I guess I should start with the obvious. As you can tell by the site’s new look, Dino Drac’s birthday coincides with the launch of its SUMMER SEASON — a three-month spread of the usual mixed with … Read More

  • thumb

    I wish Fruity Freaks was real.

    You’ve all heard of Count Chocula, Franken Berry and Boo Berry. The “Monster Cereals.” Many of us grew up on them. Those who didn’t can at least count on ‘em to turn up every Halloween season, in progressively smaller boxes at progressively higher prices. But among the trio’s fans are a … Read More

  • thumb

    The Popsicle Parade – Part 2!

    It’s time for the second edition of The Popsicle Parade! In Part 1, I beat you over the head with ten different historically significant desserts. This time, I’ll be gentler to us both and only cover five. Moving forward with #11-15! #11: Screwball! If you’ve never heard of this, you haven’t… Read More

  • thumb

    Rediscovered Treasures.

    I made the mistake of trying to tidy up my office. It’s always a mistake! My entire life exists as a series of boxes and bins. Once I start going through those, there’s no end to the madness. What was only meant to be a gentle reorganization has transformed my sanctuary into an imploded pawnRead More

  • metthumb

    Video: G1 Transformers METROPLEX Review!

    Metroplex was a giant robot who transformed into an entire Autobot city, stuffed with alcoves and doodads. He even came with three additional Autobot allies! I’d tell you more, but that’s what the video is for.… Read More

  • The Cinn*A*Burst Gum Tribute!

    Surely you remember Cinn*A*Burst! The legendary gum was Warner-Lambert’s attempt to do battle with Wrigley’s Big Red. How on Earth did they lose that war?! Cinn*A*Burst hit the scene in September of 1991, just as I was entering the seventh grade. I hated all of middle school, but the seventh gra… Read More

  • thumb

    Ninja Turtles “Sumo Raphael” Figure!

    Playmates’ original collection of Ninja Turtles toys survived for longer than you might’ve noticed, because if you’re around my age, you probably outgrew five-inch Donatellos before the rest of the world did. It’s a shame, because as the line entered its final years, Playmates made some desp… Read More

  • thumb

    1992 TRU Jurassic Park Treat Box!

    If you’ve been around Dino Drac long enough, you’ve probably read my article about the legendary Toys “R” Us Treat Box. Of course, “legendary” may be too strong a word, since I seem to be the only one who remembers them. Thank God for material evidence. Brother, you missed out. At scatt… Read More

  • tctthumb

    Vintage Vending #13: Trash Can Tots!

    Last night on Dino Drac’s Facebook page, I randomly opened an old pack of Garbage Pail Kids. Doing so stirred many memories of my childhood GPK obsession, which had some incredible highs and lows. If you were alive at the time, you should remember the highs. Collecting Garbage Pail Kids was someth… Read More

  • sonicthumb

    Sonic the Hedgehog Life Savers, from 1994!

    New video! Back in 1994, Wrigley teamed up with Sega to bring us SONIC THE HEDGEHOG LIFE SAVERS. There were two types. “Blue Rad” was a tongue-coloring raspberry flavor, while “Hot Rings” was a spicy beast that I actually still had a pack of. This is their story, complete with a Hot Rings ta… Read More

  • thumb

    The Popsicle Parade – Part 1!

    With summer just over a month away, I’m only a little early in launching Dino Drac’s latest recurring feature. Introducing The Popsicle Parade, a multi-part series celebrating dozens of the wonderful things we used to buy from ice cream trucks! There’s a certain “artistry” to popsicles tha… Read More

  • dollarthumb

    Dollar Store Three-Man Attack Series!

    Me and two buddies thought it might be fun to do a project together, and since gabbing about bullshit from dollar stores is so easy, I’m guessing that was my contribution to our process. Teaming with Billy from VeggieMacabre and Brian from Review the World, we were each challenged to find the best… Read More

  • thumb

    Toys from Big. The movie, I mean.

    I saw Big in theaters back in ’88, and charming as it was, I think the fact that I was nine-years-old had everything to do with why I loved it.  Sure, the film was as much “sad” as “happy,” but what kid wouldn’t have been jealous of Tom Hanks? (More specifically his character, Josh?) No… Read More

  • thumb

    So Many McNuggets Commercials!

    If what we ate had no consequences, I’d live on Chicken McNuggets. Yeah, I’ve seen the photo of that pinkish, chemical-soaked goo they’re made from. I don’t care. In this fantasy, there are no consequences. Chicken McNuggets debuted in 1983. By the time I was consciously aware of what I was … Read More

  • thumb

    Carnival Glories, 2013 Edition!

    Back when Dino Drac was still a baby, I wrote about a traveling carnival that’s made my city one of its annual stops. Well, it’s back this week, and better than ever! Or at least better than it’s been during certain years. Maybe it’s just as okay as ever. I don’t know. They had cottonRead More

  • thumb

    Goodies from Goodwill!

    What should have been a routine trip home from Philly turned into an absolute nightmare, with the kind of demoralizing traffic normally reserved for setup montages during coffee commercials. This was yesterday afternoon, and as hellish at it was, the experience came with a major bright side. A despe… Read More

  • thumb

    Awesome Toys in Flight of the Navigator!

    Released in 1986, I must have seen Flight of the Navigator at least a hundred times. Admittedly, none of those hundred times were recent. If I get any facts wrong in this post, blame a combination of faded memories and the fact that I wrote it at 3:30 in the morning. The synopsis, as IRead More

  • thumb

    Jaws: The Revenge items, from eBay!

    Released in 1987, Jaws: The Revenge was the final and least-liked of the four Jaws films. And that’s a major understatement. The movie’s legendary stupidity transcended mere comparisons with the previous chapters, and it’s in fact regarded as one of the worst movies of all time. See it once an… Read More

  • thumb

    Mighty Max. But with aliens.

    Sent from the cosmos to some dank New Jersey flea market, I’m proud to present the gorgeous mutant offspring of Mighty Max and space aliens! The Mysteries of the Universe collection mixes the “tiny playset” appeal of Mighty Max with the “holy shit SPACE ALIENS” appeal of… I don’t know,… Read More

  • thumb

    Old Batman Tortilla Chips!

    Back in 1992, the weirdly named “Street Kids” company sought to capitalize on Batman’s box office successes with TORTILLA CHIPS SHAPED LIKE HIS LOGO. Street Kids already had major product tie-in successes with the first Batman flick, but the chips coincided with Batman Returns – easily my fa… Read More

  • thumber

    Dino Drac’s Luxury Apartments!

    You’ve been looking for a new place, and that ad in the paper hit all the right notes… Welcome to Dino Drac’s Luxury Apartments! They’re safe, they’re spacious and they’re affordable! The building is still under construction, but it looks like a few tenants have already moved in! See… Read More

  • thumb


    I wouldn’t call Arachnophobia one of my favorite movies, but I do love it. What’s not to love? Jeff Daniels and John Goodman square off against displaced killer spiders, which quickly turn a small California town into a human graveyard! The film has a memorable flavor, and not just because i… Read More

  • thumb

    Patriotic Pull ‘n Peel Twizzlers!

    I found some new Twizzlers today. Most of you wouldn’t think that a new Twizzlers flavor is just cause for a complete and total shift in one’s religious beliefs and personal trajectory, but before you put a stamp on that stance, check out the photos in this review. Because Holy Jesus. To correct… Read More

  • thumb

    Vintage Vending #12: Dinosaur Museum!

    In this issue of Vintage Vending: More dinosaurs! I would’ve been all over this Dinosaur Museum set as a kid. (And given that I would’ve been of the appropriate age in 1985, I’m sad that I missed the chance.) The stars were a series of skeletal figures, meant to represent museum-assembled dead… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Random Action Figures, Part 3!

    I’ve been away for a while, slaying dragons, righting wrongs, and drawing crude character concepts for a gaming universe populated exclusively by warrior snails. I can’t say that I’ve been very successful with these endeavors, but they’ve given me many stories to tell. To ease myself back in… Read More

  • thumb

    Say hello to Mr. Wasp.

    I knew that big hole in my window screen would eventually lead to trouble. This afternoon, a wasp flew straight through it. Big one, too. He looked pissed. A funny thing happens to wasps when they come indoors. They just completely lose their grace. Outside, this wasp may have entranced me with its … Read More

  • thumb

    The “Almost” Hobbes Doll!

    Like many of you, I grew up reading, loving and damn near worshipping Calvin and Hobbes. Bill Watterson’s famously perfect comic strip spoke to us in so many ways. We all saw a little (or a lot) of ourselves in Calvin, even if we only wished that we could muster enough imagination to turn our dol… Read More

  • thumb

    Vintage Vending #11: Dinosaur Park!

    Vintage Vending continues with the Dinosaur Park Collection, an assortment of cheap dinosaur stuff that probably isn’t at old as it looks. The title has to be a nod to Jurassic Park, right? If so, this collection would’ve been from around 1993. Jurassic Park spiked interest in dinosaurs across t… Read More

  • thumb

    John Cena’s Fruity Pebbles.

    This is a wrestling post. If you’re not interested in wrestling, it’s also a cereal post. If you’re not interested in wrestling or cereal, well, I’m pretty zooted, and this could end up becoming a play-by-play of Roald Amundsen’s 1903 search for the Northwest Passage. Or maybe a tribute to… Read More

  • thumb

    Virtual Saturday Morning.

    It’s Saturday morning! Your favorite part of the whole week! You wake up bright and early. Earlier than everyone else in the house, that’s for sure. The skies are dim and grey, and there isn’t a peep in the whole neighborhood. You wish it would stay like this forever. Just picture it. An endle… Read More

  • thumb

    I made you lunch.

    Guys, I made you lunch. You better eat it. It’s a sin to waste food. See that? It’s a Kraft “Singlestamp” cheese cutter, with a Cheesasaurus Rex theme. If you’ll recall, Cheesasaurus Rex was Kraft’s beloved Macaroni & Cheese mascot back in the ‘90s. He was big, he was orange an… Read More

  • thumb

    Back to the Future Part II’s Antique Shop!

    Back to the Future Part II might just be my favorite of the trilogy. If nothing else, it was the ballsiest of the three. A movie so bizarre and so unbridledly over-the-top that it could’ve very easily been laughed at for all the wrong reasons. I’ve seen the movie a million times, but was only… Read More

  • thumb

    I’m selling Mumm-Ras.

    I’m selling Mumm-Ras. A whole bunch of Mumm-Ras. Twenty-five smackers each. Maybe you’d like to buy a Mumm-Ra? If so, ordering info is at the bottom of this post. If not, well, this is still a normal toy review, so read and enjoy and just skip the part where I ask for your money. ThisRead More

  • twittah-thumb

    Work-a de art-a.

    Here’s the situation. Earlier tonight, we were informed of a surprise visit that was going to take place no more than ten minutes after the sudden warning. I had no issue with the person visiting, but since I was grimy, groggy and without time to clean up, I decided to sit this one out. “TellRead More

  • thumb

    The Best Vending Machine Ever.

    If you live in anything resembling suburbia, maybe you’ve seen an Allstar vending machine. They’re stuffed with trading cards of all types, and at least around here, there’s one near the exit of every grocery store. I’m going to take the long way to get there, but here’s a quick summar… Read More

  • thumb

    Old Internet Junk!

    I first went online in 1995, back when you paid by the hour for an extremely slow connection. At the time, my concept of the internet only went as far as what America Online would show me. Actual websites existed, of course, but between the slow speed and my unfamiliarity, I mostly stuck with chat … Read More

  • peethumb

    I’m best friends with Pee-wee Herman.

    As some of you know, I ordered WrestleMania last night. The PPV price was steep, but I just couldn’t let myself miss Undertaker vs. Punk. It was a good event overall, but the show definitely peaked with that match. I seized the opportunity to do some live tweeting, to the grand annoyance of all bu… Read More

  • thumb

    You’re going to the movies!

    Tonight, you’re going to the movies! Whether you want to or not! As if by some unseen force, you are escorted to Dinosaur Dracula’s Superstar Theater. While waiting for your turn at the ticket counter, you realize that this is no ordinary theater. Mingling with your fellow humans are all sorts o… Read More

  • thumb

    Comic Book Friday!

    Today mysteriously turned into Comic Book Friday! I was running an errand in an unusual area, and remembered that this unusual area was also home to my city’s longest operating comic book shop – a place that’s been around for at least twenty years. I decided to drop by. Maybe they’d stil… Read More

  • thumb

    Real Ghostbusters Mini Shooter!

    As it relates to Kenner’s Real Ghostbusters toys, I was always much more into the monsters than the Ghostbusters themselves. Egon and friends were neat, but the ghosts were where the line shined brightest. They had no “template” mold or style, and each was vastly different from the last. The S… Read More

  • thumb

    Cheetos Mix-Ups!

    HOT NEWS: I found new Cheetos. Cheetos Mix-Ups blend four different types of Cheetos to create what I like to call “junk food as art.” It may be unhealthy, but fans of the gloriously absurd will not be able to ignore this. The bag doesn’t have any “limited time only” warnings, but experien… Read More

  • thumb


    My friend Paul from the new and improved Wrestlecrap shot me a tip about this one. Thank you, Paul! You made my week. I’m not going to dig up the half-broken old article, but back in 2005, I wrote about my experiences with the Freddy Krueger hotline. It was just one of the many 900Read More

  • bartthumb

    Vlog: The Simpsons Easter Basket!

    Easter is tomorrow. May those who celebrate spend tonight dyeing eggs and fiddling with phony grass. I went to our city’s last remaining K-Mart yesterday. The place was a wreck. Looked like it hadn’t been remodeled since 1982. Still had an “Eatery” and everything. Smelled like bad mi… Read More

  • thumb

    A Tribute to Charlie Brown’s ‘Cyclopedias!

    If you’ve never heard of Charlie Brown’s ‘Cyclopedia, you have my sincere pity. I loved these books as a child, and still do today. Not exaggerating at all: I still read these things constantly. Originally published in 1980, the fifteen book set covered many terrific things, from dinosaurs to … Read More

  • Freddy Krueger Popcorn Recipe!

    I just published an enormous feature, listing ten reasons for you to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. Even though 90% of you have seen it a thousand times. Oh well. Maybe the feature will inspire you to make it a thousand and one? If it does, it’s important to do itRead More

  • thumb

    Star Wars Presto Magix, from 1983!

    It’s been ten years (literally) since my last tribute to Presto Magix, and I think we’re long overdue for Round 2. Presto Magix was a series of “transfer sets” based on our favorite toons and movies. Think “Colorforms,” but more permanent. They’ve been out of production for a loooong t… Read More

  • Song, Video, Plant, Candy, Book.

    Hello, and welcome to Saturday. It’s a lazy one for me. I want to bury myself under ten blankets and do absolutely nothing. Instead I will attempt to write about a song, a video, a plant, a candy and a book. It may prove to be my undoing.  The Dino Drac Song! My pal BrianRead More

  • The Big League Chew Easter Egg!

    This isn’t something I’d normally do a standalone post about, but it just tickled me too much to cover in any other fashion. It’s an egg, see. An egg filled with Big League Chew. There are tons of similar Easter treats on sale, where oversized plastic eggs are filled with various candies of on… Read More

  • thumb

    Vintage Vending #10: Assorted Awesomeness.

    Vintage Vending continues! I’m calling today’s batch “Assorted Awesomeness,” but the prizes really aren’t so hot. Actually, I would’ve skipped this one entirely… if not for one totally killer prize hiding among the weaklings. Take a look, and see if you can guess which it is. (I’ll t… Read More

  • lymon-thumb

    Mad Mascots Vlog: Mr. Lymon!

    The Mad Mascots series continues, with THIS THING: I call him Mr. Lymon. He’s really old. Based on the phony fruit that gives Sprite its taste, Mr. Lymon makes everything right with the world. Unlike some of those other mascots who merely dance around product logos and call it a night, Mr. Lymon a… Read More

  • thumb

    The Wilton Megasaurus Disaster.

    It sounded so easy, but nothing ever is. I’d been waiting for the right moment to make use of this, and last night seemed like it. Released in 1999, it’s Wilton’s “MEGASAURUS” cake pan! I was drawn to it for obvious reasons, but that won’t keep me from naming them anyway. One, it affords… Read More

  • 1980s Soda Gum!

    I’d been staring at a blank Word document for more than fifteen minutes, too crippled with anxiety to begin this review. The annoying thing was my inability to pinpoint the reason for this anxiety. My deadlines were met, my bills are all paid, and I’m not on fire. Then it hit me. About an hourRead More

  • thumb

    Sparkling Star Shape Colgate Junior!

    After bringing up Aquafresh in the recent Happy Thoughts post, at least one commenter waxed nostalgic about Colgate’s ancient star-shaped toothpaste. That’s all the excuse I needed to write this tribute, because sisters and brothers, not only do I remember Colgate’s star-shaped toothpaste… I… Read More

  • thumb

    Sprinkled Chips Ahoy Cookies!

    Let me get something off my chest. I loved Chips Ahoy cookies as a kid. So much, in fact, that I invented a new way to eat them. I’d chew one cookie into a disgusting paste, and then spread that paste over a fresh one. The result was a Chips Ahoy cookie topped with someRead More

  • thumb

    Lava Planet Predator Action Figure.

    Today: A giant killer Jolly Rancher. Released in 1994, it’s Lava Planet Predator, part of Kenner’s sprawling line of Predator, Aliens and Aliens Vs. Predator toys. My interest in these characters hadn’t fully bloomed by mid ‘90s, but now that I’ve put in the research, wow, this was a fant… Read More

  • thumb

    Highlights from Monster-Mania 24!

    We dropped by the Monster-Mania horror convention in Cherry Hill last night. It’s still going on as I type this, so check out the official site if anything below piques your interest. And it just might. Other responsibilities dictated that we could only spend a few hours there, which was fine, sin… Read More

  • thumb

    Paas Mini-Monsters Easter Egg Kit!

    Easter is approaching. As longtime readers know, it’s far from my favorite holiday, owing to everything from its hideous pastel colors to the customary dish of a “leg of lamb”– something I find so atrocious that it took me a literal minute to even type it. But there are good things about… Read More

  • koolthumb

    Kool-Aid Liquid Drink Mix!

    I haven’t written about Kool-Aid in such a long time. It’s making me itch and scratch. Today is my remedy. New Kool-Aid “Liquid” drink mixes are wonderfully convenient and wonderful in general. I treasure the protracted powder/sugar/water process, but the truth is, there isn’t always time … Read More

  • thumb

    Happy Thoughts.

    This space is reserved exclusively for happy thoughts. Here are seven of mine. What are some of yours? Happy Thought #1: Aquafresh Toothpaste! Aquafresh, I will keep on loving you. You amazed me as a child and you still amaze me today. You are triple-colored toothpaste and I don’t know how you exi… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Great Garth Things.

    Garth Algar was the best part of Wayne’s World. If you disagree with this, we have a problem. I saw the film on opening weekend back in ’92, in a theater packed with people who could not have loved it more. It was one of my all-time favorite moviegoer experiences. Everyone just had such aRead More

  • thumb

    SPOTTED: Adventures in Babysitting Edition!

    Hey, remember Dino Drac’s “Spotted” series? Where we locate random fun things hiding in old TV shows and movies? Probably not, since I only made one entry. I think we’re long overdue for a second. Today’s find is from 1987’s Adventures in Babysitting, the kind-of-classic starring Elisabe… Read More

  • thumb

    Crazy ’90s Bubble Gum!

    New readers: You can see more old bubble gum over here and over here! Follow Dino Drac on Twitter and Facebook for all sorts of nostalgic nonsense! In today’s issue: Four strange brands of bubble gum from the ‘90s! (Actually, the assorted gums are all perfectly normal. It’s the containers that… Read More

  • thumb

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Chia Pet!

    I normally pay attention to Chia Pets only around Christmas, but since I was so busy a few months ago, I didn’t get to keep up the tradition. Maybe this is why I’ve felt so hollow. Thank God for the Ninja Turtles. Spotted just last night, it’s the official Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Chia Pe… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Great Robots.

    I like robots. We all do. In my tween years, I made a sincere attempt at building one. Using an upside down goldfish bowl for the head, my robot was held together with ten rolls of masking tape, had five or six Micro Machines cars stuck to its bottom, and could only “speak” in JackieRead More

  • thumb

    Awesomely Bad Bootleg Action Figures.

    We went back to the Englishtown flea market this past Sunday. Since it’s warmed up, it was much busier. There were countless vendors outside, running what could only be described as “junk tables.” It was as if hundreds of people banded together for an enormous yard sale, and as is always the c… Read More

  • clamthumb

    Bloody Caesar.

    I made a Bloody Caesar. For the uninitiated, that’s essentially a Bloody Mary, but with Clamato replacing tomato juice. (Don’t run.) I’ve been inching my way towards this for years. While on a business trip in Toronto (in 2005, I think), some colleagues who became fast friends introduced me to… Read More

  • thumb

    Survival Kit in a Sardine Can.

    (NOTE: There’s a new feature up, recapping one of my favorite episodes of the classic anthology series, Amazing Stories. It’s about a scary mirror monster. Read it! Or at least, read it after you’ve read about this sardine can filled with razors and candy.) I often daydream abo… Read More

  • thumb

    Gremlins Collectible Figures!

    You know those little plastic “tables” that protect pizza cheese from cardboard boxes? They were invented in 1985. And just as Carmela Vitale was securing the patent, I was in Atlantic City, watching Maw and Paw torch my future. I often joke about how I grew up on the thinly-carpeted floors of A… Read More

  • thumb

    Book Reports.

    Below are five book reports. Well, sort of. They’re books I care about, or at least books with personal stories attached to them. If you were expecting me to write serious critiques, I should remind you that I’m poorly educated and pretty lazy. Dracula, by Bram Stoker (1897) Bram Stoker’s Drac… Read More

  • devil

    Spooky Saturday Survey.

    There’s a new feature up, covering four random Pokemon foodstuffs from thirteen years ago. I admit that I’m not the Pokefan I once was, and that it’s become something I admire more from afar. Still, the featured snacks come from a time when I was all about Pokemon, and if you were into the fra… Read More

  • thumb

    Topps Bubble Gum Juice Cartons!

    Oh yes. These things. Staples of my childhood diet! No kid could resist bubble gum rocks that poured from tiny juice cartons! Made by Topps in the early ‘80s, “juice gum” survived until long after I’d stopped paying attention. For all I know, they’re still out there somewhere. Let us pray.… Read More

  • What’s the weirdest thing in your wallet?

    I’ll never turn down the chance to go through someone’s wallet. It doesn’t matter if I like the person, hate the person or even really know the person. I just want to see what’s in there, and make a totally unfair analysis of the wallet’s owner based on its contents. I don’t think this i… Read More

  • thumb

    Boys’ Life Magazine Ads.

    Boys’ Life is the official magazine of the Boy Scouts of America. It ruled my childhood. I was in the Scouts, but that had nothing to do with it. All of my grade school buddies were in the Scouts. It was just kind of a given that we would be. For us, it was essentiallyRead More

  • thumb


    I don’t like to waste a good snowfall. When we got that blizzard last night, I knew I’d spend today turning snow into icy hot Dino Drac content. And I did. I’d preemptively Googled for “things to do with snow” (that was literally my search string), ultimately locating an eHow t… Read More

  • pizzathumb

    Polly-O Pizzeria String Cheese.

    Today’s youth may take string cheese for granted, but me? No way. Never. I knew a world without string cheese, and it was as black as tar. Polly-O String Cheese came out when I was still in elementary school, and while I’m not motivated enough to do the math, that was, suffice to say, aRead More

  • feat

    Mad Mascots: Clanky Syrup Spaceman!

    Kids of the ‘60s loved astronauts arguably more than anything else, thanks largely to the Space Race. A quick browse through any photo collection of ‘60s toys will show an unmistakable lean on spacemen and rocket ships, and really, the old cliche of kids “wanting to become astronautsR… Read More

  • thumb-mario

    Nintendo Trophy Figures.

    This is a Nintendo Trophy Figure, from 1988. I know it doesn’t look like much, but remember, there weren’t many Nintendo toys at all at that time. These things were gold-by-default. It was a surprisingly large collection, with characters representing three of the era’s biggest games: Supe… Read More

  • thumb-1

    The Best Chest.

    Today is my birthday. The last few minutes of it, anyway. I’m 34. It feels outrageously old. As some of you know, I’m weird about birthdays. Actually, I’m much weirder about birthdays than I’ve ever let on. When it’s time to sing the birthday song to someone, I hide in the back and pretend… Read More

  • thumb-vegas

    Vintage Vending #9: Las Vegas!

    In today’s video, the Vintage Vending series continues with a trip to Las Vegas: Though you might expect a “Las Vegas” prize assortment to have everything to do with casinos and vacations, this one doesn’t. No, this one comes with a plastic machine gun. …but it’s not like such deviations… Read More

  • thumb

    Mad Mascots: Trump!

    Remember when I wrote about Bigg Mixx? I think we should turn that into a series. A series about mad mascots. There are many bewilderingly beautiful brand mascots deserving of short tributes and crudely assembled image collages, and it is my intention to give them what’s owed! …let’s start wi… Read More

  • thumb

    A post filled with random things.

    It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon. I’m sitting in front of the television, but it isn’t on. All I see is the vague, smeary reflection of me, looking strangely demonic. I’m drinking coffee from a mug that says “coffee” on it. Next to me is a cat that wants to eat people food. I can writeRead More

  • gaz-thumb

    Fake Gazpacho Recipe.

    Gazpacho is a cold vegetable soup, something like tomato soup, but even more like chopped vegetables with tomato juice thrown on top. At least, the best kinds are. Here’s how to make a super easy and quick gazpacho, though it comes with the admission that this technically isn’t gazpacho at all. … Read More

  • thumb-eye

    Vlog: Popeye Shredded Bubble Gum!

    A new feature is up, covering ten more old comic book ads. Good ones, too. Everything from Game Genies to Brach’s Rocks. Read it. …or read it after you watch today’s video, in which I examine Popeye Shredded Bubble Gum. Made in 1981 and likely inspired by Big League Chew, Popeye’s gum has n… Read More

  • thumb

    Five Random ’80s Action Figures, Part 2!

    Okay, so there’s this huge indoor/outdoor flea market in Englishtown that I’ve been going to for like, twenty years now. It’d been a long time since my previous visit, so yesterday afternoon, we drove out to see what treasures awaited. Turned out, not many treasures awaited. It’s the off sea… Read More

  • vent150

    Vintage Vending #8: Small Parts A’Plenty!

    This is a special video edition of Vintage Vending, because I am just so tired of writing. …though I guess I should write a little, for the sake of Google hits from people searching for “fuzzy bear brooches” and “birds with tools for heads.” This time, the prize assortment is completely ra… Read More

  • horrordvdthumb

    Crazy Good Multi Movie Horror DVD.

    Omigawd. This is the best DVD set ever, or close to it. You’ve seen those “multi movie” horror packs before, and while this is thematically no different, the included movies are JUST SO INCREDIBLY GREAT. This is total instant party material – a cavalcade of cult classics with a heavy lean on… Read More

  • thumb

    5 Grisly Things About Living in a Medieval Castle.

    I’m obsessed with medieval castles, but they were scary. Aside from the lack of every conceivable convenience that we now take for granted, life was just so much more brutal during the Middle Ages. Yeah, duh, but I don’t just mean that in an “enemy invaders with big swords” sort of way. Dail… Read More

  • 1

    Play-Doh Valentines Bag!

    Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and with it, tons of new candies and novelties in shades that fall somewhere between bubble gum pink and horse blood red. I normally don’t pay too close attention to these things, but the 2013 haul is pretty interesting. I’ll cover a few of my finds between… Read More

  • 2

    Vintage Vending #7: Gemstones!

    Vintage Vending continues, with ROCKS. This is not going to be my most popular review. I ain’t gonna front. I love this. I love, love, love this. Polished stones always thrill me, even when they’re presented as tacky jewelry. I would’ve been all over these prizes as a kid, and probably still n… Read More

  • 3

    Unboxing Rocky Road Cereal, from 1986.

    I hadn’t intended for this to become an ’80s week on Dino Drac. It just worked out that way. And now I shall make it official by opening a box of cereal from 1986. I don’t know exactly when Rocky Road Cereal went out of production, but it did, and people miss it. Not allRead More

  • 4

    Charms of the 1980s, Reexamined.

    From kindergarten through the third grade, I don’t think a school day went by that I didn’t see at least six dozen of those plastic “charms.” You know, the ones with the little bells attached, typically clipped onto long neon chains? This photo tells the story better than I can: These things… Read More

  • 5

    Five Random ’80s Action Figures.

    Below are thoughts about five random ‘80s action figures. Well, random to you, but very important to me. I chose these five because blah blah blah, something something, who cares, nobody reads intros. I’ll just use this space to practice the ol’ text whistle. Whhhrrreeeeeee. Sooowoooiiiiii… Read More

  • 6

    Nintendo Cereal System, from 1988!

    Breakfast peaked in 1988. You’d need a strong argument to believe otherwise. Nintendo Cereal System was its name, and according to everyone who was appropriately-aged in ’88, it was the stuff of the gods. I can think of dozens of cereals I’ve liked more, but never did I NEED one more t… Read More

  • 7

    Freddy’s Greatest Hits Album!

    I picked up Freddy’s Greatest Hits nearly a decade ago, and I’ve been listening to it constantly ever since. Sure, I originally bought it for the “novelty” potential, and admit that the first time I heard it, I cackled over the complete ridiculousness of a Freddy Krueger pop album with a vag… Read More

  • 8

    Vintage Vending #6: Moon Monster!

    It’s been ages since the last Vintage Vending post. Let’s fix that. Pinpointing an exact date is impossible. All I can be sure of is that these came out in the ‘80s. The “Moon Monster” title was just their way of skirting copyright issues, because these are obviously Godzilla toys. Hell, t… Read More

  • 9

    Weird 1993 Photo Album Thing.

    While cleaning out some old bins, I came across this photo album. Pretty sure it’s from 1993. Only around a fifth of its pages were used, and only half of those pages were used for actual photos. I vaguely recall putting this together, and it’s jusssst weird enough to be worth archiving here. Fo… Read More

  • 10

    Chef Boyardee’s Mini Dinosaurs!

    It’s been a rough month. I needed something simple and pleasant to ease my way back into the wonderful world of low-level blogging. I think pasta shaped like dinosaurs is just the ticket. Me and Chef Boyardee don’t cross paths often nowadays. It only happens during those rare times when I’m fo… Read More

  • 11

    Goodfellas / Staten Island Connection.

    Goodfellas is one of my favorite movies, duh. I can’t imagine that I’ve seen it anything less than a hundred times. Yesterday was one of those days when the only thing that seemed right with the world was my couch, so that’s where I lived, searching for shows and movies that would require abso… Read More

  • 12

    BFCDAW #14: Gumix the Gum Monster.

    10:30 AM: I’m at work. So of course I’m mapping out ways to turn gum into a hideous monster. That’s the formula, as I see it. I will create Gumix as soon as I get home. Check Dino Drac later tonight, because this is going to be HOT.… Read More

  • 13

    Vlog: Christmas Morning, 2012.

    Christmas Eve was the usual unbridled insanity, but for once, we didn’t need to be anywhere on Christmas Day. I’m going to spend the afternoon taped to the couch, subsisting on cold leftovers and endless airings of A Christmas Story. Just the way it ought to be. I hope you’re having a good one… Read More

  • 14

    The Christmas Flamingo Cometh.

    I have to imagine that this will be my last big purchase of the Christmas season. I’m going out with a pink bang: It’s a light-up flamingo in a Santa hat, and it pairs oh so nicely with that stupid dinosaur. This is its story, in around five minutes: The people behind this flamingo apparentlyRead More

  • 15

    Ancient Christmas Appetizers!

    This morning, I dived deep into my collection of ancient recipe books, looking for the kind of snack ideas that no book published after 1975 would dare include. After choosing my “subjects,” it was time to gather the ingredients. Good God, I spent a fortune. I’m not sure what happened, since I… Read More

  • 16

    Christmas Cat Litter?

    Meet Kitten. She often tries to kill me, but when she likes me, she really likes me. Kitten has made good days better and horrible days livable. She’s a great cat. All cats are great. Even the terrible ones. They’re smart, they’re funny, and if you howl at just the right pitch, they’ll think… Read More

  • 17

    BFCDAW #13: Christmas on Ker-Zerzenic.

    Between Christmas fast approaching and the world possibly ending, I’m not going to have many more chances to post bad holiday art. So, here goes: On Ker-Zerzenic, Christmas is a little different. Santa is a befuddled, three-eyed snake creature. Snowflakes fall in white and pink. Then there are… Read More

  • 18

    Martini Matt.

    I had no reason to buy this. I own lots of martini glasses and several cocktail shakers, so $9 was a lot to pay for stale crackers. Maybe I fell prey to the same thing I always fall prey to during the last week before Christmas: That sick feeling that the world will turn blackRead More

  • 19

    The Panettone Cake Monster.

    Dudes. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of panettone, but in my family, no Christmas is complete without one on the table. Even if nobody touches it. Few ever do. It’s basically bread masquerading as cake. It’s sweet, faintly fruity, very Italian, and eating it is like trying to chew throug… Read More

  • 20

    Vlog: Top-Drawer Christmas Vacation Stuff.

    I wouldn’t normally post two videos so close together, but I think the combination of the background music and my trademark five-minute pauses make this one especially suitable for late night weekend viewing. Behold, top-drawer thingamajigs from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation: PS, you hav… Read More

  • 21

    Vlog: 1991 Christmas Crunch w/ Mystery Gift!

    Yes – more Christmas Crunch content! Don’t complain. I have a good reason: This is a sealed box of 1991 Christmas Crunch, with a SURPRISE GIFT BOX glued to the top. What treasures will we find inside? It will only take nine minutes to find out: After filming, I was left with a box ofRead More

  • 22

    Awesome Xmas Junk Food!

    A post like this needs no introduction. You know what you’re in for. But I still feel compelled to write one. That wretched header image will seem excessive without a small army of paragraphs beneath it. So, I’ll use this space to share my feelings about pomegranates. In summary: I love them. I … Read More

  • 23

    BFCDAW #12: Karen and Shirley.

    Here’s Karen Carpenter and Shirley Manson, singing a duet at an outdoor Christmas concert. Explanation: For the past week, I’ve spent my entire commuting hours listening to nothing but The Carpenters’ Christmas album and a Garbage greatest hits compilation. Garbage broke big when I was in high… Read More

  • 24

    1995 Christmas Crunch with HOLIDAY FROSTING.

    You might think that I’ve exhausted the well of Christmas Crunch posts, but nuh uh. I may have written about that cereal fifty times, but I never told you about the time it came with cake frosting. This super special version of Christmas Crunch came out in 1995, and if not for Coolio, would haveRead More

  • 25

    BFCDAW #11: Good looking cookies.

    Today is busy. I’m only BCFDAW’ing because I need to push that eel sushi off of the main page as soon as possible. There. Much better. A palatable set of Christmas cookies, purchased for WAY TOO MUCH MONEY from one of those design-your-own-salad places. ($9 for two cookies, and no, I wouldn’t … Read More

  • 26

    BFCDAW #10: The Christmas Sushi Roll.

    There’s a new feature up, listing ten strange and wonderful things I want from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. (Including Aunt Bethany’s cat food Jell-O. Yes.) For today’s BCFDAW, I’d like to introduce you to the “Christmas roll.” Several of New York’s sushi joints are offerin… Read More

  • 27

    Five good things from the Christmas Fair!

    Wow, what a handsome header image that is. “He worked really hard, Grandma.” If you read me back on X-E, you know all about this Christmas fair. The one with the “basket raffles.” I’ve gone to this church-hosted Christmas fair every year for as long as I can remember. It can be a cruel mis… Read More

  • 28

    BFCDAW #9: Cheers, trunky.

    It’s Friday. Fantastic freakin’ Friday. I’m so looking forward to having time to put more on the site than bad doodles and pictures of plastic shovels. But, since it is not the weekend yet, I must do what is necessary to survive: That’s a Christmas tree trunk. You know, the part you slice of… Read More

  • 29

    BFCDAW #8: Merry Montage!

    Over on Dino Drac’s Facebook page, several readers obliged me with suggestions for a painted-at-work Christmas montage. Here’s what I had time for. (Actually, in no way, shape or form did I have time for this – but I did it anyway. You can’t fire a freelancer. You can only pretend he died.) … Read More

  • 30

    BFCDAW #7: How I feel today.

    I could blame the four hours of sleep, but it’s more fun to blame you.… Read More

  • 31

    Tabasco Bloody Mary Gift Set!

    Cheap perfumes, beef logs and s’mores kits. Every December, the cavalcade of crappy gift sets comes back out of hiding, charming the great many of us who refuse to put real work into locating decent Christmas presents. They’re considered “bad” presents almost by default, no matter what’s i… Read More

  • 32

    Christmas Creature.

    I made this. I made this using nothing but glue, a hunk of Styrofoam and a $5 “craft value pack” from Michaels. What should I name him?… Read More

  • 33

    Christmas Cookie Crisp, from 1991!

    Christmas Crunch may be the most known “holiday edition cereal,” but friends, there are OTHERS. Or at least, there were others. While Cap’n Crunch surfed the red-and-green wave to obscene heights of glory, other cereals tried to do the same. Post’s Pebbles cereals and General Mills’ Lu… Read More

  • 34

    42″ Dinosaur Dracula, Christmas Edition.

    Thank you, Home Depot. Thank you for selling an animated holiday Tyrannosaur. One devil medallion and a cut-up t-shirt later, and I’m now the proud owner of a 42” Dinosaur Dracula, Christmas edition. Life is weird, and good. Mad, hysterical love to the few of you who tipped me off. And to the gu… Read More

  • 35

    The M.U.S.C.L.E. Hard Knockin’ Rockin’ Ring!

    It was Christmas Day, 1986. Maybe ’87. Let’s say ’87. Thank God for my friend across the street. As mentioned before, my family celebrates on Christmas Eve and celebrates it hard. Christmas Day was never much of anything in our house, and in some ways, it was actually depressing. T… Read More

  • 36

    Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts.

    Along with one or two returning holiday flavors, Kellogg’s has blessed us with all-new Frosted Marshmallow Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts, thereby increasing their streak of Pop-Tarts flavors with extremely long names to an impressive 267. Okay, so they’re not as “showy” as Kellogg’s previous off… Read More

  • 37

    Times Square’s Puffy Hustlers.

    One nice thing about my current workload is the chance to see Times Square at its Christmassy finest. There are lights, trees and blaring Christmas music at every turn, and I’m always reminding myself to stop, look around and soak it all in. And then, when I do, someone bumps into me and calls me<… Read More

  • 38

    BFCDAW #5: The Albino Ferret of Christmas.

    I met the Albino Ferret of Christmas in 1986. One of my then-in-college brothers was home for the holidays, and with him were his two pet ferrets. Thinking back, I have no idea how he got away with dorm room ferrets, but kids never considered the particulars. One looked like an everyday “normal”… Read More

  • 39

    Horde Prime Revealed!

    Longtime readers know that I’m a huge fan of the He-Man & She-Ra Christmas Special, from 1985. (Officially titled He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special, but that shit’s clunky.) I watched it on that long ago December night with my older brother, and to this day, we still quote it. I… Read More

  • 40

    BFCDAW #5: Honey Balls.

    Today’s painting depicts HONEY BALLS. (And also a candy cane bee.) Honey Balls are marble-sized bits of fried dough, soaked with honey and topped with colored sprinkles. My mother brings them to all of our Christmas parties, and she’s been at it for decades. I despise the things, but God hel… Read More

  • 41

    BFCDAW #4: Crabs of Christmas Island.

    More Bullshit Filler Content Devised At Work! This time, I painted the famous mass migration the Christmas Island red crabs. Christmas Island is on the short list of places I need to visit at least once before I die. (It has to be before — that much I am adamant about.) Between these crabs, th… Read More

  • 42

    1998’s Bedrock Blizzard Pebbles Cereals!

    When you hear “Fruity Pebbles” and “Christmas” mentioned together, it’s usually in reference to that classic commercial – the one where no less than Santa himself persuaded Fred to give Barney cereal. But Post’s Pebbles brands did more Christmasing than that! Look no further than 1998… Read More

  • 43

    BFCDAW #3: Snobot.

    Read More

  • 44

    Holiday Hodgepodge #2!

    HEY: There’s a new feature up, highlighting fifteen treasures from the 1998 Sears Wish Book! Another busy week lies ahead, but if the rumors are true, Dino Drac should be kicking the holidays into high gear by the end of it. I hope so, bruddah. You complete me. Here’s another attempt to make… Read More

  • 45

    Holiday Hodgepodge!

    It’s 10:55. If I don’t want to be a raving lunatic tomorrow, I have exactly one hour to get this post written, edited and published. Gonna have to rush. I’ll do my breast to avoid mistakes. In tonight’s Holiday Hodgepodge: Five Christmassy things, just in time for Thanksgiving! #1: Santa Bro… Read More

  • 46

    Christmas Crunch is back!

    Before I gush about cereal, a quick note. I’m on a gig right now, which started small but has grown into something unfathomably huge. In many ways, that is good, but it hasn’t left me with much time to write about nonsense on the Internet. I originally thought we’d be wrapping in December, and… Read More

  • 47

    Crazy Holiday Pringles!

    Pringles. A brand of ultrathin potato crisps, sold in canisters that convert nicely into coin banks. All of you already knew this. According to the ad slogan, “once you pop, the fun don’t stop.” Until recently, that was probably true. Even the worst Pringles flavor was still pretty good, and … Read More

  • 48

    Snow Day!

    Hello there, Giant Surprise Snowstorm. I shall pay tribute to you with cocoa dust and tiny marshmallows: It’s still snowing as I write this. This is no bullshit storm, either. These are big flakes, and they’re actually sticking. I love snowstorms, even if now isn’t the time for one. My city is… Read More

  • 49

    “How’s the turtle, Mrs. Stubbs?”

    If you’ve never seen My Blue Heaven, please don’t take that as a cue to skip this post. This is less about an old movie and more about RIDICULOUSLY CUTE BABY TURTLES, and only a fool would miss those. …but of course, since I so rarely get the opportunity to do so, let me atRead More

  • 50

    Holiday Chips Ahoy Cookies!

    I’d originally intended to bridge Dino Drac’s Halloween and Christmas seasons with some non-holiday “neutral” posts, and while I’ll still probably do that, this couldn’t wait. Google tells me that Holiday Chips Ahoy aren’t new for 2012, but tonight was the first time I’d even… Read More

  • 1

    Shrunken Apple Head’s Birthday!

    I’m on my horrible laptop, swiping power from a friend’s generator. The storm knocked out our electricity, and it might not be back for a week. (Fortunately, that’s all the storm knocked out. Our problems are trivial compared to the total insanity surrounding us. Good luck to everyone who was … Read More

  • 2

    Madd Matt’s Halloween Party.

    I was going to save this for later, but there is no way I’ll have power later. Thus, you will suffer now. Happy Halloween! If the storm doesn’t destroy me, there’s still more to come.… Read More

  • 3

    Pumpkin Spice Philadelphia Cream Cheese.

    It’s 7 in the morning. I haven’t been to sleep yet. Instead, I’m writing about cream cheese, rushing to beat the sunrise, because it will crack my skin and turn me to ash. I don’t have a choice. According to the news, I’m going to wake up underwater. If I want to tell the worldRead More

  • 4

    Roseanne’s TUNNEL OF TERROR.

    Some of you may skip this review out of sheer hatred of All Things Roseanne, but if you’re into Halloween, avoiding Roseanne a huge mistake. Few have done Halloween better than her. I started watching the TV series mainly out of necessity. Growing up, remember how the last cartoon would air at 4:3… Read More

  • 5

    Facebook Halloween Games!

    Admission: I play too many Facebook games. Way too many. I’ve lost countless hours to those horrible slots, bingo rounds and bubble puzzles. Though I suppose there are worse ways to waste my life. For example, I could spend all my free time painting obscene anti-religion signs using tar and bl… Read More

  • 6

    Madd Matt reviews the Inflatable Skeleton Cooler.

    One of my favorite finds of the season was an inflatable cooler, in the shape of a coffin, with a demonic skeleton bathing inside. Fifteen bucks seemed a little steep, but if pressed, I could not name another coffin-shaped skeleton-boosted cooler that costs less. It’s perfect for parties or as an … Read More

  • 7

    Tales from the Darkside Fansite Tribute!

    This is a tribute to a Tales from the Darkside fansite that hasn’t been updated since 2005. No joke, it really is! As of this writing, the Angelfire-hosted site is still online. It’s ancient and it looks ancient, but to me, it was – and to some degree, still is – a perfect representation of<… Read More

  • 8

    The Halloween Corn Maze!

    My city’s pumpkin patches aren’t really “pumpkin patches.” They’re the same places that sell Christmas trees in December and flowers in May. (I think that’s when they start selling flowers, anyway.) By July, expect nothing but flags. These little outdoor “stores” serve strictly seaso… Read More

  • 9

    The Frito-Lay Frankenstein Chip Sack!

    I know they’re just regular chips in a special package, but come on: I couldn’t say no to this. A huge sack of snack-sized chip bags, made to look like an enormous Frankenstein head. Given that this monster is capable of fitting six sealed bags of chips in his mouth, I’d estimate his total… Read More

  • 10

    Madd Matt reviews an 18″ Michael Myers doll.

    It’s 8 AM. I haven’t been to bed yet. Really reminded me of the old, old, OLD X-E days, when overnight “shifts” were the norm, and days could be slept into virtual nonexistence. I rarely have the chance to fall this far off the grid anymore, and it was fun to rekindle my love ofRead More

  • 11

    Rice Krispies Treats Pumpkin Kit!

    Thanks again to everyone who ordered a Dino Drac Halloween Print. I was pleasantly surprised with how well they sold, and from all I’ve heard, people seem to dig them. Still have some left, so if you want in, this is the week! In other, more pressing news, I made pumpkin-shaped Rice Krispies Treat… Read More

  • 12

    Vlog: “Horri-Ballz” Monster Doll Review.

    My kind and generous buddy, DJ D, sent me an incredible Halloween care package with all sorts of goofy/great stuff inside. Including this! His name is Marzian, and he’s one of the Horri-Ballz – furry alien monsters who make strange noises when you beat them up. Like Tribbles, but a hundred times… Read More

  • 13

    5 Halloween Things!

    Halloween is fast approaching, and I have so much wonderful stuff left to cover. This post aims to decrease the number of bullets on my Must-Write-About list by five. I’ll feel better about the world when it’s done. SpongeBob Plastic Cup with Straw: I could not have fewer uses for this, but for … Read More

  • 14

    McDonald’s Scooby-Doo Halloween Pails!

    For the third year in a row, McDonald’s brought back the ol’ trick-or-treat pails. Think of them as the spiritual successors to the “McBoo” pails of the ‘80s. What they lack in charm, they make up for in sooo many stickers! 2012’s pails have a Scooby-Doo theme. This surprised me. I w… Read More

  • 15

    Haunted Quaker Oats Castle.

    Guys. I turned a can of Quaker Oats into a haunted castle. I don’t know what inspired me to do this. Maybe I stole the idea from someone else. If I remember who, I will seek out and thank that person profusely. Turning an oatmeal container into Halloween art just completely made my night. MyRead More

  • 16

    Halloween Lunchables YES!

    I can’t believe it. It’s finally happened. It’s taken years, but it’s finally happened. We got ‘em, folks. We got Halloween Lunchables. You have NO IDEA how long I’ve waited for this. This is my tenth year doing the Halloween Countdown, and during almost every prior edition, I looked for… Read More

  • 17

    Vlog: “Big Frank” Talking Monster Pal!

    Hey: The Creepy Commercials Countdown has been updated with Slimer and a three-eyed ghost. Today’s vlog is about Big Frank, “the talking monster pal kids love to fix!” Made by Playskool in 1992, Big Frank dresses like an inmate and has a bunch of tools hidden in his head. The video is barely c… Read More

  • 18

    Halloween Milk?

    Before we dive into dairy, how about a quick shill? International orders are now accepted for the Dino Drac Halloween prints! I’ve also updated the page with some nicer photos. Thanks to everyone who ordered one so far! Sent out the first big batch this afternoon, and boy, did the people behind me… Read More

  • 19

    Count Chocula Treats!

    Hey, have you been keeping up with the Creepy Commercials Countdown? You probably should. Clarence Clemons is there. Now here’s Count Chocula: I saw them in Target, and I flipped. They were on a rack right by the registers, but one of the store employees, who I guess had assumed the role of  … Read More

  • 20

    Invasion of the Scarecrows!

    Imagine my luck! On the exact weekend that I go to New Hampshire, New Hampshire gets invaded by hundreds of insane scarecrows.… Read More

  • 21

    Freddy Krueger Fireworks!

    I spent the weekend in New Hampshire, where the air was crisp, the leaves were golden, and the drive to get there was six and a half fucking hours. I’d never been to New Hampshire before this trip, but now I’m an expert. Did you know that there are a lot of antique stores inRead More

  • 22

    Pumpkin Decorating Kits!

    I normally don’t go for department store label stuff, but Target’s “Pumpkin Decorating Kits” called out to me. Were I to believe the photos, they were going to let me turn small pumpkins into full-bodied monsters. Upon seeing their $5 price tags, I was disappointed. If my brain had a mouth, … Read More

  • 23

    The real Dinosaur Dracula?

    Okay, I guess I need to weigh in on this! Dozens of times over the past several hours (okay, maybe one dozen times), I’ve been sent links to the big news: “Dinosaur Dracula” is no longer a figment of my imagination. It’s a real goddamned thing. A real life Dinosaur Dracula. Here’s the scoo… Read More

  • 24

    Vlog: The CVS Animated Zombie!

    FYI: The Creepy Commercials Countdown has been updated for 10/2. Go read about Michael Myers! As for this guy, he’s a 28” inch animated zombie. I found him at CVS for 20 bucks. We have a lot of CVS pharmacies around here, and I’ve seen legions of these in every last one. Finally, I couldRead More

  • 25

    Halloween Soda Cans!

    Just launched a special feature: The Creepy Commercials Countdown! A nice guy named Larry donated a slew of ancient Halloween-themed TV commercials, and in the spirit of making mountains out of molehills, I’m turning them into a month-long event. Every day during October, a new (old) creepy commer… Read More

  • 26

    The 2012 Halloween Mood Table!

    Happy October! The Halloween season is officially here. There’s exactly one month to soak up everything it has to offer. Strange candy, hayrides, and masks that smell like toxic chemicals. Even the gloomiest mofos would have to admit that October is one of the most bearable months of the year.… Read More

  • 27

    Dollar Tree’s Halloween Masks!

    Wow, September is almost over. That’s scary. Hope you’re enjoying Dino Drac’s Halloween Countdown so far. Bigger things are coming in October! When I went to Dollar Tree last week, I also picked up a bunch of masks. They’d be pretty terrible if put to use as non-ironic Halloween costumes… Read More

  • 28

    RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks!

    My friend “D” mailed me a spooky care package, and among its incredible contents was one of RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks. The one that looks like a pumpkin. My first thought? “Pretty cool.” My second thought? To run out and buy the remaining two Halloween Color Blanks. And my t… Read More

  • 29

    September 25th, 1993.

    Today is September 25th, 2012. And this, a page from one of my old journals, was written exactly nineteen years ago. If I have things straight, I would’ve been in the ninth grade. A frosh in high school. God.… Read More

  • 30

    Venus Flytrap Bog of Doom!

    Yesterday morning, we drove out to God Knows Where, searching for some New Jersey farmers’ market I remembered visiting last year. I swore it was only twenty minutes away, but Sunday’s events proved otherwise. Eventually, we found it. And, hell yes, they still had the same assortment of insanely… Read More

  • 31

    Sticky, Squishy Pumpkin Parts Kit!

    My adventures in idiot blogging have brought many pumpkins to their doom. There was the time I hammered Lite Brite pegs into one. Another time, I turned a pumpkin into the Trix Rabbit. Then there was the afternoon when one grew a clay face and Yoda arms. This year, I hope to bring the totalRead More

  • 32

    The Icebusters Sno-Cone Machine.

    Today, you’re going to see the spirits of the dead run a lemonade stand. TGIF! Okay, so it isn’t a lemonade stand. It’s a snow cone stand. The Icebusters Sno-Cone Machine, made by Lanard in 1985, was an incredibly strange attempt to steal shine from the Ghostbusters craze. I’m not being a br… Read More

  • 33

    Deadly Dollar Store Finds: 2012 Edition.

    I had five bucks, and Dollar Tree was right there. It’s funny. I’ve been doing the Countdown forever, and in years past, Dollar Tree was always my final resort. A last ditch effort to catch the Halloween spirit by way of frivolous spending, after every other store in a twenty mile radius let me… Read More

  • 34

    Vlog: Blurp Balls Toy Review.

    His name is Count Heave-a-Heart. He’s one of the Blurp Balls. His ocular veins look like the letter “Y” repeated thirteen times. Very rare toys with a cult following that just won’t die, the Blurp Balls arrived in 1991, and were essentially uber versions of Madballs. Get the who… Read More

  • 35

    Horror DVD Menu Screens!

    Tonight, we pay tribute to horror DVD menu screens. Somebody has to. They’re great. I own well over a hundred scary movie DVDs, and since I have the tendency to buy copies of films I’ve already seen ten thousand times, the real thrill, and frequently, the only thrill, is seeing how the productio… Read More

  • 36

    Marshmallow Pumpkin Patch Incident.

    After this post, I promise not to make weird things out of Halloween food for at least a few days. I know I’ve been doing it too much. It’s not like such features are turning me into an Internet superstar, so I must assume that there’s some deeply buried psychological need at play. The firstRead More

  • 37

    Hubba Bubba’s Halloween Squeeze Pops!

    I’m currently working on a big ass feature. It has the potential to be great, but it also has the potential to be terrible, so I’m gonna need some time to wrap that baby up. With panic setting in over the thought of a Monday with no new content, I dived into my stock ofRead More

  • 38

    Eggo Seasons Pumpkin Spice Waffles!

    I’ve been waiting for Eggo to make “Halloween waffles” for nearly as long as I’ve been doing the Countdown. I guess my feeble attempt to summon them by way of a voodoo crock pot was more effective than I imagined it would be, because finally, THEY ARE HERE. You know, I’d seen mentions of t… Read More

  • 39

    Vintage Vending #5: Frankenstein’s Spare Parts!

    I’m in a good mood today. It’s important to use good moods for good things. I can think of no better way to channel my positivity than by describing fake vomit. On with another edition of Vintage Vending! Frankenstein’s Spare Parts Collection came out in ’89, though it looks decades older t… Read More

  • 40

    Fishdom Spooky Splash Game Review.

    A series of unlikely keywords led me to Fishdom Spooky Splash, made by Playrix. It’s an easy game with a Halloween twist, where your goal is to fill a virtual fish tank with all manner of macabre ornaments. Further research tells me that there are other “Fishdom” games, and that this is just a… Read More

  • 41


    I need to put this scribble here. It’s a pointless scribble. It contains no hidden messages. It’s literally just a scribble. I have some Dino Drac hangups that I want to nip in the bud. I just edited this post to remove an explanation of those hangups, because they’re not really re… Read More

  • 42

    Mars Halloween Candy Pails!

    I doubt that more than three of you remember them, but I don’t care. These candy pails, distributed by Mars back in ’89, meant the world to me. Even today, I look at them and see everything good about Halloween. I can’t remember the specifics of the promotion, but it went something like this: … Read More

  • 43

    Madd Matt Reviews Halloween Grow Capsules.

    I don’t know if I’ve led a life worth living, but someday, when there’s nothing left to lose, I’ll have a great story to tell. FYI: Madd Matt was wrong on a few counts in this video. Technically, Leviathan isn’t from a moon of Saturn, or Jupiter. Leviathan is from Hell.… Read More

  • 44

    Sky Bar’s Zombie Food!

    It was a dark and stormy night. Actually, it was a clear and sunny afternoon. But it felt like night, thanks to a dark inner glow created in an ancient copy of Adobe Photoshop. And because ZOMBIES. One of the zombies bore a striking resemblance to Michael Jackson. Too close to be a coincidence. Whet… Read More

  • 45

    Dinosaur Dracula’s Halloween Art Expo!

    (PAGES: 1  2  3  4  5  6 7 8 9 10) Guys, you didn’t let me down. I think it’s safe to say that Dinosaur Dracula’s Halloween Art Expo was a rousing success. Dozens upon dozens of you participated, with no promises of prizes, kudos or anything else. You rule, and so do your fuckingRead More

  • 46

    Candy Corn Oreo Cookies!

    Unless you spent all of Friday completely Internet-free, you’ve heard the news. The kings and queens of Nabisco must be dancing, because the entire world has become positively drunk with glee over their latest offering: Candy. Corn. Oreos. Like I wasn’t going to hunt these down the second I hear… Read More

  • 47

    Vlog: The Cloneheads Alien Costume Kit!

    Imagine a costume that gave you two extra heads, gold skin and a bib with the planet Saturn on it, for one low price. It sounds impossible, but in 1983, it happened. Distributed by Spearhead Industries, the Cloneheads collection was a series of inflatable Halloween costumes that, among other things,… Read More

  • 48

    The ORIGINAL Halloween Countdown, from 2003.

    Dinosaur Dracula’s 1st Halloween Countdown is more of a reset, of course, since I’ve been doing this thing for ten goddamned years. The first Halloween Countdown, back on X-Entertainment, started on September 18th, 2003. The 40 or so articles within it were often rushed, often crude and often de… Read More

  • 49

    Spookylicious Pop-Tarts Are Back!

    I was glad to see Spookylicious Pop-Tarts make their triumphant return. Even if Kellogg’s has only been at it for a few years, Halloween Pop-Tarts have already become one of my absolute needs for a great season. The saga began in 2010, when Choc-o-Lantern Pop-Tarts were introduced. Then, in 2011, … Read More

  • 50

    Vintage Vending #4: Wacky Goulies!

    If you thought the Vintage Vending series was taking a break during the Countdown, you have no future as a psychic. Some of those old prizes absolutely scream “Halloween,” and if you think I’m reaching, just take a look at this one: A macabre mix of Madballs and Ghoulies! Meet the Wacky Goulie… Read More

  • 51

    Matchbox Con-Nec-Tors from 1990!

    If you were reading X-E last November, you might remember my tribute to Matchbox’s Con-Nect-Ables, a line of plastic cars which broke into pieces that could be mixed-and-matched to create bizarre vehicles that were part truck, part helicopter. If I had to guess, nobody came here expecting that ope… Read More

  • 52

    Cadbury Screme Eggs!

    If my hunts so far have been any indication, we’re in for one hell of a season on the Halloween candy front. So many new goodies for 2012! I’m actually frightened by how many I’ve located so far. I mean, it’s only September 4th. As much as I love giving Halloween two full months toRead More

  • 53

    Halloween Bread?

    Pepperidge Farm may have peaked with their Goldfish crackers, but this comes close. Keep an eye out for a new pair of autumn “Swirl” breads, in the style of raisin bread, but with fruity bits that are far more appropriate for a season filled with death and monsters. Yes! On the left, Car… Read More

  • 54

    Dino Drac’s 1st Ever Halloween Countdown!

    A balloon. A blurry picture of an orange balloon, with crude jack o’ lantern features drawn on. This could only mean one thing. And it probably explains why the site is all orange and purple. It must be Dinosaur Dracula’s… The Halloween Countdown began on X-E, back in 2003. As much as I’d l… Read More

  • 55

    Vintage Vending #3: Button-Button!

    I know you were expecting a full tour of Iguana’s house, but I haven’t had a chance to complete it yet. My printer isn’t being cooperative, and without going into detail on why I need a printer to build a house for a paper lizard, I assure you that I absolutely do. So that willRead More

  • 1

    Make your own Toucan Sam!

    Before today, it’d been a long time since my last box of Froot Loops. Don’t get me wrong. Froot Loops is great, but for me, it was always a rebound. If one of the cereals I really liked did something to piss me off, I’d slide back to Froot Loops for a bit, and then,Read More

  • 2

    Vintage Vending #2: Sticky Stuff!

    Today we recall a true old faithful of the twenty-five cent prize arena: Sticky toys that stuck to things with their stickiness. It’s Sticky Stuff! A collection of gooey doodads that will, quote, discolor paint! Yessss! The photo looks bad, but rest assured, it’s just as blurry and crude in real… Read More

  • 3

    Vintage Vending #1: Random Toys!

    Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula’s latest ongoing blog series: Vintage Vending! As kids, there wasn’t one among us who didn’t get butterflies at the sight of those stupid red vending machines — the kinds with tiny toys and trinkets as prizes, hidden inside neat little egg-like capsules. Those… Read More

  • 4

    Chillin’ with Chilla.

    One reason I needed to take a powder back in June was the opportunity to do some promo work with Chiller. If you don’t know, Chiller is an all-horror channel, and I’d already fallen in love with it – mainly because it was the only place to see Tales from the Darkside on television. IRead More

  • 5

    Vlog: TMNT Sewer Exploration Belt, from 1990.

    One of the less-referenced reasons why Playmates’ old Ninja Turtles toys were so great was that they were so strange, and nothing proves it quite like the Sewer Exploration Belt, from 1990. A kid-sized arsenal of goofy crap in the vein of Batman’s utility belt, it covered every base. A real work… Read More

  • 6

    Mad Mascots: Bigg Mixx!

    Through crooked senses, “Bigg Mixx” rhymes with “brilliance.” And it should. The cereal was named after its mascot, a beast that was part chicken, part wolf, part moose and part pig. Think Foghorn Leghorn, after a mishap with Seth Brundle’s telepods. I could try to come up with some ad… Read More

  • 7

    The Trash Pack Schoolbag!

    I feel I’ve committed a grave sin in having waited this long to say anything about The Trash Pack, a line of wonderful little monster figures made by Moose Toys. On the scale of M.U.S.C.L.E. but with the sensibility of Madballs, this is the exact kind of thing that someone like me should publicly … Read More

  • 8

    Dinosaur Dracula at the Beach Fair!

    There was some kind of weird beach fair thing in Staten Island this past weekend. I’m never one to turn down weird beach fair things. The event exceeded expectations. It was like a tiny-sized, bootleg version of Wildwood out there. There weren’t any roller coasters, but they did have a giant, in… Read More

  • 9

    SPOTTED: Starscream in Top Gun!

    Remember that “X-E Dissects” series on the old site, where we visited fictitious locales like Fred Savage’s bedroom and the wacky store from The Facts of Life, searching for real life retail goodies? It was one of the last things I was totally into doing on X-E, and I have every intention o… Read More

  • 10

    Ten things I wanted to buy at Monster-Mania.

    We dropped by the Monster-Mania horror convention in Cherry Hill last night, pretty much on a whim. Wasn’t planning to stay over, and with the last remaining rooms being $179 a night, I’m glad we didn’t. I haven’t been to the New Jersey version of the con in years. This visit was confirmatio… Read More

  • 11

    Marshmallows From Outer Space!

    I wanted to create something out of marshmallows, so I asked the folks on Dino Drac’s Facebook page for suggestions.  There were plenty of good ideas, but this one stood out: “A fluffy spaceship, obviously. With super interesting aliens who have a unique, snack-based culture.” Thank you, … Read More

  • 12

    Come home to me, brainy.

    Okay, technically, I found “Kraang,” not “Krang.” But still. I got some e-mails asking if I was gonna cover the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures, spun from the fast approaching Nickelodeon show. Well, of course. But it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t start with Krang. Sorry. Kraa… Read More

  • 13

    Vlog: My New Robot!

    At one of those random discount stores, there he was. Buried deep in a pile a Nissin Cup Noodles in flavors that haven’t existed since 1998, there he was. I’ve named him Kid Galaxy. He is a wonderful wadio-controlled wobot. Presented as an easy-to-operate doodad for only the youngest of tykes, I… Read More

  • 14

    Vlog: Stretch Screamers “Oozers” Figure.

    I reserve the right to cover Stretch Screamers again sometime. I love the things, and a ten minute video of me trying to open boxes just doesn’t go far enough to show how much. If you don’t remember them, Stretch Screamers was a line of fantastic, stretchy monsters.  BIG ones. As the li… Read More

  • 15

    Lightning Gremlin Figure!

    It’s been weeks since I’ve put anything of substance on Dinosaur Dracula, but man, I had a good reason. Working with some new folks on some new things, and it’s been a blast so far. I love what I’m doing, but I haaaate the timing. I didn’t even get a whole month to enjoy theRead More

  • 16

    Friday the 13th!

    I’m not quite ready to come out of my cave, but you don’t get a chance to wish strangers on the Internet a happy Friday the 13th often. HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH! Speaking of which, here’s a promo I worked on for EPIX’s all-day Friday the 13th marathon, which is happening as I ty… Read More

  • 17

    The 5 Greatest Things About Carlo.

    He may have turned up in a photo before, but I think it’s time for you to officially meet Carlo. Carlo is great. He’s great for way more than five reasons, but I’m on a tight time budget. Actually, just going by the photo above, I’m sure you could dream up more than twenty reasonsRead More

  • 18


    Since you guys did such a great job last time, I thought we’d give it another try. In a single comment, your job is to explain what you’re seeing here. Again, there are no wrong answers. This image has more than one story to tell. I look forward to reading your ideas. In all sincerity,Read More

  • 19

    BFCDAW #2: My New Robot.

    It’s time for Bullshit Filler Content Devised At Work #2. This one was important. Today was crazy busy. I knew I wouldn’t have the energy to come up with an original concept after the long commute home. If I wanted to post anything tonight, I needed a BFCDAW miracle. I think it was around 3PMRead More

  • 20

    Vlog: Boglins Hand Puppets.

    One thing I dig about Dino Drac is the chance to get even more mileage out of things I’ve already covered a hundred times. Yay for Boglins! If you don’t remember them, Boglins were monstrous, rubber hand puppets that came out in the late ’80s, ready to rock our worlds with twirling… Read More

  • 21

    Wallet-Sized George Photos.

    Got some mail today! <3 Mail from Snapfish. If you’ve been paying any attention to Dino Drac, you know what this is. And I couldn’t be more excited. Four bucks and four days later, I have wallet-sized photos of George the Gremlin.… Read More

  • 22

    BFCDAW #1: Troll 2 Fan Art.

    Even as Dinosaur Dracula was still under construction, I knew I’d run into issues balancing my professional life with the site. I hoped it wouldn’t happen ten minutes after launching, but it wasn’t a huge surprise when it did. I vowed to incorporate my workday into Dino Drac’s content. H… Read More

  • 23

    Berry Blue Jell-O Recipes.

    Berry Blue Jell-O arrived in 1992, and the fanfare — at least in my imagined version of things — was enormous. Here were raspberries and blueberries, finally putting aside their differences to take over the planet. This was perhaps the first signal of the “blue candy” craze that woul… Read More

  • 24

    Vlog: Real Ghostbusters Proton Pack.

    I was always more into the action figures, but The Real Ghostbusters collection was truly a “pretend play” pioneer. The Proton Pack came out in 1986. Every boy I knew had one. There was no room for “maybes” on the chance to become a real, live Ghostbuster. A chance to make lots of noise! ARead More

  • 25

    Photo of the Georges.

    I grew up swearing that “Brain” was the best Gremlin ever. He isn’t. You might remember Brain from Gremlins 2. He’s the one who gained the ability to speak, and used that ability to sing “New York, New York” while other Gremlins sorted through crates of plastic explosives. Brain was a gr… Read More

  • 26

    Wendy’s Berry Almond Chicken Salad.

    This week’s Saturday Night Thread is brought to you by some kind of fruity salad from Wendy’s. We’ve all had those nights when we’re hungry, hopeless and scouring YouTube for old fast food commercials. You’ll sit there watching Jason Alexander fumble around with a McDLT, angry that you can… Read More

  • 27


    In a single comment, your job is to explain what you’re seeing here. There’s much to consider, but I don’t want to influence things. What does this mean to you? Tell the story of what you see. There are no wrong answers.… Read More

  • 28

    Garfield and Friends Fruit Snacks!

    I didn’t get a chance to post yesterday, duh. Got smacked in the face with several new gigs that required immediate attention, and will continue requiring attention over the next few weeks. I guess this is the part where I remind everyone, but mostly myself, that Dinosaur Dracula is a hobby, and a… Read More

  • 29

    Ninja Turtles Cracker Topper!

    Let’s kick this baby off with a photo of Krang, dressed like a soft serve ice cream cone. But it isn’t soft serve ice cream. It’s mofuggin’ Easy Cheese. Side note: Mondo Gecko’s tongue has always bothered me. It looks like he’s biting it. I admit that diving straight into Krang s… Read More

  • 30

    Vlog: “V” Toys – Enemy Visitor Doll + Bop Bag.

    It’s been years since I’ve done anything about V, but I finally had a good reason: The official V bop bag. The vlog covers two V toys: The bop bag, and the official “Enemy Visitor” doll, which I wrote about back in 2005. You anti-Vimeo people can also watch it on YouTube. All officially lice… Read More

  • 31

    Spikey Bulba eats donuts.

    A quick run to Dunkin Donuts for a Big Ass Coffee has changed my life for the better. Check out this little standee: Yeah, of course I pocketed it. Dunkin Donuts has a ton of promotions going on for Men in Black 3, from cosmic cocoa coffees to star-shaped donuts. Way more interesting than theRead More

  • 32

    Vlog: 1989 Talking Freddy Krueger Doll.

    I wasn’t planning to post anything tonight, but I thought five minutes of me rambling about a decades-old Freddy Krueger doll was better than nothing. EDIT: If you’re having trouble watching that on Vimeo, you can see it on grainy stupid YouTube by clicking here. Hard to believe that Din… Read More

  • 33

    Carnival Glories.

    A hundred billion years ago on X-E, I wrote a big article about a carnival that camps out near our local mall for one week each year. The article gained some notoriety for its ironically massive photo of the world’s smallest woman. That same carnival has come back every year since, albeit on a sma… Read More

  • 34

    Spidey Food!

    The best thing about comic book heroes becoming movie stars? The junk food. I’d almost forgotten about Spidey’s new movie, but there he was, all over Target, waiting to remind me with an assault of dyed-red snacks. Since promotions like this are all about creating awareness, I’d say they’re … Read More

  • 35

    Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula!

    Dinosaur Dracula has hatched. Pull up a chair and have a slice, bro. This is going to be a long, rambling intro. I’ve already ditched around twenty attempts at writing it. I ran X-Entertainment from April of 2000 through today, and it was a great ride. That site changed my life in many unbelievabl… Read More