Full Archives | Dinosaur Dracula!

Ninja Turtles “Sumo Raphael” Figure!

Playmates’ original collection of Ninja Turtles toys survived for longer than you might’ve noticed, because if you’re around my age, you probably outgrew five-inch Donatellos before the rest of the world did. It’s a shame, because as the line entered its final years, Playmates made some desp… Read More

1992 TRU Jurassic Park Treat Box!

If you’ve been around Dino Drac long enough, you’ve probably read my article about the legendary Toys “R” Us Treat Box. Of course, “legendary” may be too strong a word, since I seem to be the only one who remembers them. Thank God for material evidence. Brother, you missed out. At scatt… Read More

Vintage Vending #13: Trash Can Tots!

Last night on Dino Drac’s Facebook page, I randomly opened an old pack of Garbage Pail Kids. Doing so stirred many memories of my childhood GPK obsession, which had some incredible highs and lows. If you were alive at the time, you should remember the highs. Collecting Garbage Pail Kids was someth… Read More

Sonic the Hedgehog Life Savers, from 1994!

New video! Back in 1994, Wrigley teamed up with Sega to bring us SONIC THE HEDGEHOG LIFE SAVERS. There were two types. “Blue Rad” was a tongue-coloring raspberry flavor, while “Hot Rings” was a spicy beast that I actually still had a pack of. This is their story, complete with a Hot Rings ta… Read More

The Popsicle Parade – Part 1!

With summer just over a month away, I’m only a little early in launching Dino Drac’s latest recurring feature. Introducing The Popsicle Parade, a multi-part series celebrating dozens of the wonderful things we used to buy from ice cream trucks! There’s a certain “artistry” to popsicles tha… Read More

Dollar Store Three-Man Attack Series!

Me and two buddies thought it might be fun to do a project together, and since gabbing about bullshit from dollar stores is so easy, I’m guessing that was my contribution to our process. Teaming with Billy from VeggieMacabre and Brian from Review the World, we were each challenged to find the best… Read More

Toys from Big. The movie, I mean.

I saw Big in theaters back in ’88, and charming as it was, I think the fact that I was nine-years-old had everything to do with why I loved it. Sure, the film was as much “sad” as “happy,” but what kid wouldn’t have been jealous of Tom Hanks? (More specifically his character, Josh?) No… Read More

So Many McNuggets Commercials!

If what we ate had no consequences, I’d live on Chicken McNuggets. Yeah, I’ve seen the photo of that pinkish, chemical-soaked goo they’re made from. I don’t care. In this fantasy, there are no consequences. Chicken McNuggets debuted in 1983. By the time I was consciously aware of what I was … Read More

Carnival Glories, 2013 Edition!

Back when Dino Drac was still a baby, I wrote about a traveling carnival that’s made my city one of its annual stops. Well, it’s back this week, and better than ever! Or at least better than it’s been during certain years. Maybe it’s just as okay as ever. I don’t know. They had cottonRead More

Goodies from Goodwill!

What should have been a routine trip home from Philly turned into an absolute nightmare, with the kind of demoralizing traffic normally reserved for setup montages during coffee commercials. This was yesterday afternoon, and as hellish at it was, the experience came with a major bright side. A despe… Read More

Awesome Toys in Flight of the Navigator!

Released in 1986, I must have seen Flight of the Navigator at least a hundred times. Admittedly, none of those hundred times were recent. If I get any facts wrong in this post, blame a combination of faded memories and the fact that I wrote it at 3:30 in the morning. The synopsis, as IRead More

Jaws: The Revenge items, from eBay!

Released in 1987, Jaws: The Revenge was the final and least-liked of the four Jaws films. And that’s a major understatement. The movie’s legendary stupidity transcended mere comparisons with the previous chapters, and it’s in fact regarded as one of the worst movies of all time. See it once an… Read More

Mighty Max. But with aliens.

Sent from the cosmos to some dank New Jersey flea market, I’m proud to present the gorgeous mutant offspring of Mighty Max and space aliens! The Mysteries of the Universe collection mixes the “tiny playset” appeal of Mighty Max with the “holy shit SPACE ALIENS” appeal of… I don’t know,… Read More

Old Batman Tortilla Chips!

Back in 1992, the weirdly named “Street Kids” company sought to capitalize on Batman’s box office successes with TORTILLA CHIPS SHAPED LIKE HIS LOGO. Street Kids already had major product tie-in successes with the first Batman flick, but the chips coincided with Batman Returns – easily my fa… Read More

Dino Drac’s Luxury Apartments!

You’ve been looking for a new place, and that ad in the paper hit all the right notes… Welcome to Dino Drac’s Luxury Apartments! They’re safe, they’re spacious, and they’re affordable! The building is still under construction, but it looks like a few tenants have already moved in! Se… Read More

Arachnophobia!

I wouldn’t call Arachnophobia one of my favorite movies, but I do love it. What’s not to love? Jeff Daniels and John Goodman square off against displaced killer spiders, which quickly turn a small California town into a human graveyard! The film has a memorable flavor, and not just because i… Read More

Patriotic Pull ‘n Peel Twizzlers!

I found some new Twizzlers today. Most of you wouldn’t think that a new Twizzlers flavor is just cause for a complete and total shift in one’s religious beliefs and personal trajectory, but before you put a stamp on that stance, check out the photos in this review. Because Holy Jesus. To correct… Read More

Vintage Vending #12: Dinosaur Museum!

In this issue of Vintage Vending: More dinosaurs! I would’ve been all over this Dinosaur Museum set as a kid. (And given that I would’ve been of the appropriate age in 1985, I’m sad that I missed the chance.) The stars were a series of skeletal figures, meant to represent museum-assembled dead… Read More

Five Random Action Figures, Part 3!

I’ve been away for a while, slaying dragons, righting wrongs, and drawing crude character concepts for a gaming universe populated exclusively by warrior snails. I can’t say that I’ve been very successful with these endeavors, but they’ve given me many stories to tell. To ease myself back in… Read More

Say hello to Mr. Wasp.

I knew that big hole in my window screen would eventually lead to trouble. This afternoon, a wasp flew straight through it. Big one, too. He looked pissed. A funny thing happens to wasps when they come indoors. They just completely lose their grace. Outside, this wasp may have entranced me with its … Read More

The “Almost” Hobbes Doll!

Like many of you, I grew up reading, loving and damn near worshipping Calvin and Hobbes. Bill Watterson’s famously perfect comic strip spoke to us in so many ways. We all saw a little (or a lot) of ourselves in Calvin, even if we only wished that we could muster enough imagination to turn our dol… Read More

Vintage Vending #11: Dinosaur Park!

Vintage Vending continues with the Dinosaur Park Collection, an assortment of cheap dinosaur stuff that probably isn’t at old as it looks. The title has to be a nod to Jurassic Park, right? If so, this collection would’ve been from around 1993. Jurassic Park spiked interest in dinosaurs across t… Read More

John Cena’s Fruity Pebbles.

This is a wrestling post. If you’re not interested in wrestling, it’s also a cereal post. If you’re not interested in wrestling or cereal, well, I’m pretty zooted, and this could end up becoming a play-by-play of Roald Amundsen’s 1903 search for the Northwest Passage. Or maybe a tribute to… Read More

Virtual Saturday Morning.

It’s Saturday morning! Your favorite part of the whole week! You wake up bright and early. Earlier than everyone else in the house, that’s for sure. The skies are dim and grey, and there isn’t a peep in the whole neighborhood. You wish it would stay like this forever. Just picture it. An endle… Read More

I made you lunch.

Guys, I made you lunch. You better eat it. It’s a sin to waste food. See that? It’s a Kraft “Singlestamp” cheese cutter, with a Cheesasaurus Rex theme. If you’ll recall, Cheesasaurus Rex was Kraft’s beloved Macaroni & Cheese mascot back in the ‘90s. He was big, he was orange an… Read More

Back to the Future Part II’s Antique Shop!

Back to the Future Part II might just be my favorite of the trilogy. If nothing else, it was the ballsiest of the three. A movie so bizarre and so unbridledly over-the-top that it could’ve very easily been laughed at for all the wrong reasons. I’ve seen the movie a million times, but was only… Read More

I’m selling Mumm-Ras.

I’m selling Mumm-Ras. A whole bunch of Mumm-Ras. Twenty-five smackers each. Maybe you’d like to buy a Mumm-Ra? If so, ordering info is at the bottom of this post. If not, well, this is still a normal toy review, so read and enjoy and just skip the part where I ask for your money. ThisRead More

Work-a de art-a.

Here’s the situation. Earlier tonight, we were informed of a surprise visit that was going to take place no more than ten minutes after the sudden warning. I had no issue with the person visiting, but since I was grimy, groggy and without time to clean up, I decided to sit this one out. “TellRead More

The Best Vending Machine Ever.

If you live in anything resembling suburbia, maybe you’ve seen an Allstar vending machine. They’re stuffed with trading cards of all types, and at least around here, there’s one near the exit of every grocery store. I’m going to take the long way to get there, but here’s a quick summar… Read More

Old Internet Junk!

I first went online in 1995, back when you paid by the hour for an extremely slow connection. At the time, my concept of the internet only went as far as what America Online would show me. Actual websites existed, of course, but between the slow speed and my unfamiliarity, I mostly stuck with chat … Read More

I’m best friends with Pee-wee Herman.

As some of you know, I ordered WrestleMania last night. The PPV price was steep, but I just couldn’t let myself miss Undertaker vs. Punk. It was a good event overall, but the show definitely peaked with that match. I seized the opportunity to do some live tweeting, to the grand annoyance of all bu… Read More

You’re going to the movies!

Tonight, you’re going to the movies! Whether you want to or not! As if by some unseen force, you are escorted to Dinosaur Dracula’s Superstar Theater. While waiting for your turn at the ticket counter, you realize that this is no ordinary theater. Mingling with your fellow humans are all sorts o… Read More

Comic Book Friday!

Today mysteriously turned into Comic Book Friday! I was running an errand in an unusual area, and remembered that this unusual area was also home to my city’s longest operating comic book shop – a place that’s been around for at least twenty years. I decided to drop by. Maybe they’d stil… Read More

Real Ghostbusters Mini Shooter!

As it relates to Kenner’s Real Ghostbusters toys, I was always much more into the monsters than the Ghostbusters themselves. Egon and friends were neat, but the ghosts were where the line shined brightest. They had no “template” mold or style, and each was vastly different from the last. The S… Read More

Cheetos Mix-Ups!

HOT NEWS: I found new Cheetos. Cheetos Mix-Ups blend four different types of Cheetos to create what I like to call “junk food as art.” It may be unhealthy, but fans of the gloriously absurd will not be able to ignore this. The bag doesn’t have any “limited time only” warnings, but experien… Read More

1-900-909-CREEP.

My friend Paul from the new and improved Wrestlecrap shot me a tip about this one. Thank you, Paul! You made my week. I’m not going to dig up the half-broken old article, but back in 2005, I wrote about my experiences with the Freddy Krueger hotline. It was just one of the many 900Read More

Vlog: The Simpsons Easter Basket!

Easter is tomorrow. May those who celebrate spend tonight dyeing eggs and fiddling with phony grass. I went to our city’s last remaining K-Mart yesterday. The place was a wreck. Looked like it hadn’t been remodeled since 1982. Still had an “Eatery” and everything. Smelled like bad mi… Read More

A Tribute to Charlie Brown’s ‘Cyclopedias!

If you’ve never heard of Charlie Brown’s ‘Cyclopedia, you have my sincere pity. I loved these books as a child, and still do today. Not exaggerating at all: I still read these things constantly. Originally published in 1980, the fifteen book set covered many terrific things, from dinosaurs to … Read More

Freddy Krueger Popcorn Recipe!

I just published an enormous feature, listing ten reasons for you to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. Even though 90% of you have seen it a thousand times. Oh well. Maybe the feature will inspire you to make it a thousand and one? If it does, it’s important to do itRead More

Star Wars Presto Magix, from 1983!

It’s been ten years (literally) since my last tribute to Presto Magix, and I think we’re long overdue for Round 2. Presto Magix was a series of “transfer sets” based on our favorite toons and movies. Think “Colorforms,” but more permanent. They’ve been out of production for a loooong t… Read More

Song, Video, Plant, Candy, Book.

Hello, and welcome to Saturday. It’s a lazy one for me. I want to bury myself under ten blankets and do absolutely nothing. Instead I will attempt to write about a song, a video, a plant, a candy and a book. It may prove to be my undoing. The Dino Drac Song! My pal BrianRead More

The Big League Chew Easter Egg!

This isn’t something I’d normally do a standalone post about, but it just tickled me too much to cover in any other fashion. It’s an egg, see. An egg filled with Big League Chew. There are tons of similar Easter treats on sale, where oversized plastic eggs are filled with various candies of on… Read More

Vintage Vending #10: Assorted Awesomeness.

Vintage Vending continues! I’m calling today’s batch “Assorted Awesomeness,” but the prizes really aren’t so hot. Actually, I would’ve skipped this one entirely… if not for one totally killer prize hiding among the weaklings. Take a look, and see if you can guess which it is. (I’ll t… Read More

Mad Mascots Vlog: Mr. Lymon!

The Mad Mascots series continues, with THIS THING: I call him Mr. Lymon. He’s really old. Based on the phony fruit that gives Sprite its taste, Mr. Lymon makes everything right with the world. Unlike some of those other mascots who merely dance around product logos and call it a night, Mr. Lymon a… Read More

The Wilton Megasaurus Disaster.

It sounded so easy, but nothing ever is. I’d been waiting for the right moment to make use of this, and last night seemed like it. Released in 1999, it’s Wilton’s “MEGASAURUS” cake pan! I was drawn to it for obvious reasons, but that won’t keep me from naming them anyway. One, it affords… Read More

1980s Soda Gum!

I’d been staring at a blank Word document for more than fifteen minutes, too crippled with anxiety to begin this review. The annoying thing was my inability to pinpoint the reason for this anxiety. My deadlines were met, my bills are all paid, and I’m not on fire. Then it hit me. About an hourRead More

Sparkling Star Shape Colgate Junior!

After bringing up Aquafresh in the recent Happy Thoughts post, at least one commenter waxed nostalgic about Colgate’s ancient star-shaped toothpaste. That’s all the excuse I needed to write this tribute, because sisters and brothers, not only do I remember Colgate’s star-shaped toothpaste… I… Read More

Sprinkled Chips Ahoy Cookies!

Let me get something off my chest. I loved Chips Ahoy cookies as a kid. So much, in fact, that I invented a new way to eat them. I’d chew one cookie into a disgusting paste, and then spread that paste over a fresh one. The result was a Chips Ahoy cookie topped with someRead More

Lava Planet Predator Action Figure.

Today: A giant killer Jolly Rancher. Released in 1994, it’s Lava Planet Predator, part of Kenner’s sprawling line of Predator, Aliens and Aliens Vs. Predator toys. My interest in these characters hadn’t fully bloomed by mid ‘90s, but now that I’ve put in the research, wow, this was a fant… Read More

Highlights from Monster-Mania 24!

We dropped by the Monster-Mania horror convention in Cherry Hill last night. It’s still going on as I type this, so check out the official site if anything below piques your interest. And it just might. Other responsibilities dictated that we could only spend a few hours there, which was fine, sin… Read More

Paas Mini-Monsters Easter Egg Kit!

Easter is approaching. As longtime readers know, it’s far from my favorite holiday, owing to everything from its hideous pastel colors to the customary dish of a “leg of lamb”– something I find so atrocious that it took me a literal minute to even type it. But there are good things about… Read More

Kool-Aid Liquid Drink Mix!

I haven’t written about Kool-Aid in such a long time. It’s making me itch and scratch. Today is my remedy. New Kool-Aid “Liquid” drink mixes are wonderfully convenient and wonderful in general. I treasure the protracted powder/sugar/water process, but the truth is, there isn’t always time … Read More

Happy Thoughts.

This space is reserved exclusively for happy thoughts. Here are seven of mine. What are some of yours? Happy Thought #1: Aquafresh Toothpaste! Aquafresh, I will keep on loving you. You amazed me as a child and you still amaze me today. You are triple-colored toothpaste and I don’t know how you exi… Read More

Five Great Garth Things.

Garth Algar was the best part of Wayne’s World. If you disagree with this, we have a problem. I saw the film on opening weekend back in ’92, in a theater packed with people who could not have loved it more. It was one of my all-time favorite moviegoer experiences. Everyone just had such aRead More

SPOTTED: Adventures in Babysitting Edition!

Hey, remember Dino Drac’s “Spotted” series? Where we locate random fun things hiding in old TV shows and movies? Probably not, since I only made one entry. I think we’re long overdue for a second. Today’s find is from 1987’s Adventures in Babysitting, the kind-of-classic starring Elisabe… Read More

Crazy ’90s Bubble Gum!

Before I drone on and on about old gum, some updates! 1. Join in Dino Drac’s Patchwork Project! Readers from around the globe are sending in extremely random images to be part of our virtual quilt, and judging from the submissions so far, this is going to be EPIC. There’s still time left to doo… Read More

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Chia Pet!

I normally pay attention to Chia Pets only around Christmas, but since I was so busy a few months ago, I didn’t get to keep up the tradition. Maybe this is why I’ve felt so hollow. Thank God for the Ninja Turtles. Spotted just last night, it’s the official Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Chia Pe… Read More

Five Great Robots.

I like robots. We all do. In my tween years, I made a sincere attempt at building one. Using an upside down goldfish bowl for the head, my robot was held together with ten rolls of masking tape, had five or six Micro Machines cars stuck to its bottom, and could only “speak” in JackieRead More

Awesomely Bad Bootleg Action Figures.

We went back to the Englishtown flea market this past Sunday. Since it’s warmed up, it was much busier. There were countless vendors outside, running what could only be described as “junk tables.” It was as if hundreds of people banded together for an enormous yard sale, and as is always the c… Read More

Bloody Caesar.

I made a Bloody Caesar. For the uninitiated, that’s essentially a Bloody Mary, but with Clamato replacing tomato juice. (Don’t run.) I’ve been inching my way towards this for years. While on a business trip in Toronto (in 2005, I think), some colleagues who became fast friends introduced me to… Read More

Survival Kit in a Sardine Can.

(NOTE: There’s a new feature up, recapping one of my favorite episodes of the classic anthology series, Amazing Stories. It’s about a scary mirror monster. Read it! Or at least, read it after you’ve read about this sardine can filled with razors and candy.) I often daydream abo… Read More

Gremlins Collectible Figures!

You know those little plastic “tables” that protect pizza cheese from cardboard boxes? They were invented in 1985. And just as Carmela Vitale was securing the patent, I was in Atlantic City, watching Maw and Paw torch my future. I often joke about how I grew up on the thinly-carpeted floors of A… Read More

Book Reports.

Below are five book reports. Well, sort of. They’re books I care about, or at least books with personal stories attached to them. If you were expecting me to write serious critiques, I should remind you that I’m poorly educated and pretty lazy. Dracula, by Bram Stoker (1897) Bram Stoker’s Drac… Read More

Spooky Saturday Survey.

There’s a new feature up, covering four random Pokemon foodstuffs from thirteen years ago. I admit that I’m not the Pokefan I once was, and that it’s become something I admire more from afar. Still, the featured snacks come from a time when I was all about Pokemon, and if you were into the fra… Read More

Topps Bubble Gum Juice Cartons!

Oh yes. These things. Staples of my childhood diet! No kid could resist bubble gum rocks that poured from tiny juice cartons! Made by Topps in the early ‘80s, “juice gum” survived until long after I’d stopped paying attention. For all I know, they’re still out there somewhere. Let us pray.… Read More

What’s the weirdest thing in your wallet?

I’ll never turn down the chance to go through someone’s wallet. It doesn’t matter if I like the person, hate the person or even really know the person. I just want to see what’s in there, and make a totally unfair analysis of the wallet’s owner based on its contents. I don’t think this i… Read More

Boys’ Life Magazine Ads.

Boys’ Life is the official magazine of the Boy Scouts of America. It ruled my childhood. I was in the Scouts, but that had nothing to do with it. All of my grade school buddies were in the Scouts. It was just kind of a given that we would be. For us, it was essentiallyRead More

Snowmonster.

I don’t like to waste a good snowfall. When we got that blizzard last night, I knew I’d spend today turning snow into icy hot Dino Drac content. And I did. I’d preemptively Googled for “things to do with snow” (that was literally my search string), ultimately locating an eHow t… Read More

Polly-O Pizzeria String Cheese.

Today’s youth may take string cheese for granted, but me? No way. Never. I knew a world without string cheese, and it was as black as tar. Polly-O String Cheese came out when I was still in elementary school, and while I’m not motivated enough to do the math, that was, suffice to say, aRead More

Mad Mascots: Clanky Syrup Spaceman!

Kids of the ‘60s loved astronauts arguably more than anything else, thanks largely to the Space Race. A quick browse through any photo collection of ‘60s toys will show an unmistakable lean on spacemen and rocket ships, and really, the old cliche of kids “wanting to become astronautsR… Read More

Nintendo Trophy Figures.

This is a Nintendo Trophy Figure, from 1988. I know it doesn’t look like much, but remember, there weren’t many Nintendo toys at all at that time. These things were gold-by-default. It was a surprisingly large collection, with characters representing three of the era’s biggest games: Supe… Read More

The Best Chest.

Today is my birthday. The last few minutes of it, anyway. I’m 34. It feels outrageously old. As some of you know, I’m weird about birthdays. Actually, I’m much weirder about birthdays than I’ve ever let on. When it’s time to sing the birthday song to someone, I hide in the back and pretend… Read More

Vintage Vending #9: Las Vegas!

In today’s video, the Vintage Vending series continues with a trip to Las Vegas: Though you might expect a “Las Vegas” prize assortment to have everything to do with casinos and vacations, this one doesn’t. No, this one comes with a plastic machine gun. …but it’s not like such deviations… Read More

Mad Mascots: Trump!

Remember when I wrote about Bigg Mixx? I think we should turn that into a series. A series about mad mascots. There are many bewilderingly beautiful brand mascots deserving of short tributes and crudely assembled image collages, and it is my intention to give them what’s owed! …let’s start wi… Read More

A post filled with random things.

It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon. I’m sitting in front of the television, but it isn’t on. All I see is the vague, smeary reflection of me, looking strangely demonic. I’m drinking coffee from a mug that says “coffee” on it. Next to me is a cat that wants to eat people food. I can writeRead More

Fake Gazpacho Recipe.

Gazpacho is a cold vegetable soup, something like tomato soup, but even more like chopped vegetables with tomato juice thrown on top. At least, the best kinds are. Here’s how to make a super easy and quick gazpacho, though it comes with the admission that this technically isn’t gazpacho at all. … Read More

Vlog: Popeye Shredded Bubble Gum!

A new feature is up, covering ten more old comic book ads. Good ones, too. Everything from Game Genies to Brach’s Rocks. Read it. …or read it after you watch today’s video, in which I examine Popeye Shredded Bubble Gum. Made in 1981 and likely inspired by Big League Chew, Popeye’s gum has n… Read More

Five Random ’80s Action Figures, Part 2!

Okay, so there’s this huge indoor/outdoor flea market in Englishtown that I’ve been going to for like, twenty years now. It’d been a long time since my previous visit, so yesterday afternoon, we drove out to see what treasures awaited. Turned out, not many treasures awaited. It’s the off sea… Read More

Vintage Vending #8: Small Parts A’Plenty!

This is a special video edition of Vintage Vending, because I am just so tired of writing. …though I guess I should write a little, for the sake of Google hits from people searching for “fuzzy bear brooches” and “birds with tools for heads.” This time, the prize assortment is completely ra… Read More

Crazy Good Multi Movie Horror DVD.

Omigawd. This is the best DVD set ever, or close to it. You’ve seen those “multi movie” horror packs before, and while this is thematically no different, the included movies are JUST SO INCREDIBLY GREAT. This is total instant party material – a cavalcade of cult classics with a heavy lean on… Read More

5 Grisly Things About Living in a Medieval Castle.

I’m obsessed with medieval castles, but they were scary. Aside from the lack of every conceivable convenience that we now take for granted, life was just so much more brutal during the Middle Ages. Yeah, duh, but I don’t just mean that in an “enemy invaders with big swords” sort of way. Dail… Read More

Play-Doh Valentines Bag!

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and with it, tons of new candies and novelties in shades that fall somewhere between bubble gum pink and horse blood red. I normally don’t pay too close attention to these things, but the 2013 haul is pretty interesting. I’ll cover a few of my finds between… Read More

Vintage Vending #7: Gemstones!

Vintage Vending continues, with ROCKS. This is not going to be my most popular review. I ain’t gonna front. I love this. I love, love, love this. Polished stones always thrill me, even when they’re presented as tacky jewelry. I would’ve been all over these prizes as a kid, and probably still n… Read More

Unboxing Rocky Road Cereal, from 1986.

I hadn’t intended for this to become an ’80s week on Dino Drac. It just worked out that way. And now I shall make it official by opening a box of cereal from 1986. I don’t know exactly when Rocky Road Cereal went out of production, but it did, and people miss it. Not all… Read More

Charms of the 1980s, Reexamined.

From kindergarten through the third grade, I don’t think a school day went by that I didn’t see at least six dozen of those plastic “charms.” You know, the ones with the little bells attached, typically clipped onto long neon chains? This photo tells the story better than I can: These things… Read More

Five Random ’80s Action Figures.

Below are thoughts about five random ‘80s action figures. Well, random to you, but very important to me. I chose these five because blah blah blah, something something, who cares, nobody reads intros. I’ll just use this space to practice the ol’ text whistle. Whhhrrreeeeeee. Sooowoooiiiiii… Read More

Nintendo Cereal System, from 1988!

Breakfast peaked in 1988. You’d need a strong argument to believe otherwise. Nintendo Cereal System was its name, and according to everyone who was appropriately-aged in ’88, it was the stuff of the gods. I can think of dozens of cereals I’ve liked more, but never did I NEED one more t… Read More

Freddy’s Greatest Hits Album!

I picked up Freddy’s Greatest Hits nearly a decade ago, and I’ve been listening to it constantly ever since. Sure, I originally bought it for the “novelty” potential, and admit that the first time I heard it, I cackled over the complete ridiculousness of a Freddy Krueger pop album with a vag… Read More

Vintage Vending #6: Moon Monster!

It’s been ages since the last Vintage Vending post. Let’s fix that. Pinpointing an exact date is impossible. All I can be sure of is that these came out in the ‘80s. The “Moon Monster” title was just their way of skirting copyright issues, because these are obviously Godzilla toys. Hell, t… Read More

Weird 1993 Photo Album Thing.

While cleaning out some old bins, I came across this photo album. Pretty sure it’s from 1993. Only around a fifth of its pages were used, and only half of those pages were used for actual photos. I vaguely recall putting this together, and it’s jusssst weird enough to be worth archiving here. Fo… Read More

Chef Boyardee’s Mini Dinosaurs!

It’s been a rough month. I needed something simple and pleasant to ease my way back into the wonderful world of low-level blogging. I think pasta shaped like dinosaurs is just the ticket. Me and Chef Boyardee don’t cross paths often nowadays. It only happens during those rare times when I’m fo… Read More

Goodfellas / Staten Island Connection.

Goodfellas is one of my favorite movies, duh. I can’t imagine that I’ve seen it anything less than a hundred times. Yesterday was one of those days when the only thing that seemed right with the world was my couch, so that’s where I lived, searching for shows and movies that would require abso… Read More

BFCDAW #14: Gumix the Gum Monster.

10:30 AM: I’m at work. So of course I’m mapping out ways to turn gum into a hideous monster. That’s the formula, as I see it. I will create Gumix as soon as I get home. Check Dino Drac later tonight, because this is going to be HOT. 4 PM UPDATE: I got the gum! IRead More

Vlog: Christmas Morning, 2012.

Christmas Eve was the usual unbridled insanity, but for once, we didn’t need to be anywhere on Christmas Day. I’m going to spend the afternoon taped to the couch, subsisting on cold leftovers and endless airings of A Christmas Story. Just the way it ought to be. I hope you’re having a good one… Read More

The Christmas Flamingo Cometh.

I have to imagine that this will be my last big purchase of the Christmas season. I’m going out with a pink bang: It’s a light-up flamingo in a Santa hat, and it pairs oh so nicely with that stupid dinosaur. This is its story, in around five minutes: The people behind this flamingo apparentlyRead More

Ancient Christmas Appetizers!

This morning, I dived deep into my collection of ancient recipe books, looking for the kind of snack ideas that no book published after 1975 would dare include. After choosing my “subjects,” it was time to gather the ingredients. Good God, I spent a fortune. I’m not sure what happened, since I… Read More

Christmas Cat Litter?

Meet Kitten. She often tries to kill me, but when she likes me, she really likes me. Kitten has made good days better and horrible days livable. She’s a great cat. All cats are great. Even the terrible ones. They’re smart, they’re funny, and if you howl at just the right pitch, they’ll think… Read More

BFCDAW #13: Christmas on Ker-Zerzenic.

Between Christmas fast approaching and the world possibly ending, I’m not going to have many more chances to post bad holiday art. So, here goes: On Ker-Zerzenic, Christmas is a little different. Santa is a befuddled, three-eyed snake creature. Snowflakes fall in white and pink. Then there are… Read More

Martini Matt.

I had no reason to buy this. I own lots of martini glasses and several cocktail shakers, so $9 was a lot to pay for stale crackers. Maybe I fell prey to the same thing I always fall prey to during the last week before Christmas: That sick feeling that the world will turn black… Read More

The Panettone Cake Monster.

Dudes. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of panettone, but in my family, no Christmas is complete without one on the table. Even if nobody touches it. Few ever do. It’s basically bread masquerading as cake. It’s sweet, faintly fruity, very Italian, and eating it is like trying to chew throug… Read More

Vlog: Top-Drawer Christmas Vacation Stuff.

I wouldn’t normally post two videos so close together, but I think the combination of the background music and my trademark five-minute pauses make this one especially suitable for late night weekend viewing. Behold, top-drawer thingamajigs from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation: PS, you hav… Read More

Vlog: 1991 Christmas Crunch w/ Mystery Gift!

Yes – more Christmas Crunch content! Don’t complain. I have a good reason: This is a sealed box of 1991 Christmas Crunch, with a SURPRISE GIFT BOX glued to the top. What treasures will we find inside? It will only take nine minutes to find out: After filming, I was left with a box ofRead More

Awesome Xmas Junk Food!

A post like this needs no introduction. You know what you’re in for. But I still feel compelled to write one. That wretched header image will seem excessive without a small army of paragraphs beneath it. So, I’ll use this space to share my feelings about pomegranates. In summary: I love them. I … Read More

BFCDAW #12: Karen and Shirley.

Here’s Karen Carpenter and Shirley Manson, singing a duet at an outdoor Christmas concert. Explanation: For the past week, I’ve spent my entire commuting hours listening to nothing but The Carpenters’ Christmas album and a Garbage greatest hits compilation. Garbage broke big when I was in high… Read More

1995 Christmas Crunch with HOLIDAY FROSTING.

You might think that I’ve exhausted the well of Christmas Crunch posts, but nuh uh. I may have written about that cereal fifty times, but I never told you about the time it came with cake frosting. This super special version of Christmas Crunch came out in 1995, and if not for Coolio, would haveRead More

BFCDAW #11: Good looking cookies.

Today is busy. I’m only BCFDAW’ing because I need to push that eel sushi off of the main page as soon as possible. There. Much better. A palatable set of Christmas cookies, purchased for WAY TOO MUCH MONEY from one of those design-your-own-salad places. ($9 for two cookies, and no, I wouldn’t … Read More

BFCDAW #10: The Christmas Sushi Roll.

There’s a new feature up, listing ten strange and wonderful things I want from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. (Including Aunt Bethany’s cat food Jell-O. Yes.) For today’s BCFDAW, I’d like to introduce you to the “Christmas roll.” Several of New York’s sushi joints are offerin… Read More

Five good things from the Christmas Fair!

Wow, what a handsome header image that is. “He worked really hard, Grandma.” If you read me back on X-E, you know all about this Christmas fair. The one with the “basket raffles.” I’ve gone to this church-hosted Christmas fair every year for as long as I can remember. It can be a cruel mis… Read More

BFCDAW #9: Cheers, trunky.

It’s Friday. Fantastic freakin’ Friday. I’m so looking forward to having time to put more on the site than bad doodles and pictures of plastic shovels. But, since it is not the weekend yet, I must do what is necessary to survive: That’s a Christmas tree trunk. You know, the part you slice of… Read More

BFCDAW #8: Merry Montage!

Over on Dino Drac’s Facebook page, several readers obliged me with suggestions for a painted-at-work Christmas montage. Here’s what I had time for. (Actually, in no way, shape or form did I have time for this – but I did it anyway. You can’t fire a freelancer. You can only pretend he died.) … Read More

BFCDAW #7: How I feel today.

I could blame the four hours of sleep, but it’s more fun to blame you.… Read More

Tabasco Bloody Mary Gift Set!

Cheap perfumes, beef logs and s’mores kits. Every December, the cavalcade of crappy gift sets comes back out of hiding, charming the great many of us who refuse to put real work into locating decent Christmas presents. They’re considered “bad” presents almost by default, no matter what’s i… Read More

Christmas Creature.

I made this. I made this using nothing but glue, a hunk of Styrofoam and a $5 “craft value pack” from Michaels. What should I name him?… Read More

Christmas Cookie Crisp, from 1991!

Christmas Crunch may be the most known “holiday edition cereal,” but friends, there are OTHERS. Or at least, there were others. While Cap’n Crunch surfed the red-and-green wave to obscene heights of glory, other cereals tried to do the same. Post’s Pebbles cereals and General Mills’ Lu… Read More

42″ Dinosaur Dracula, Christmas Edition.

Thank you, Home Depot. Thank you for selling an animated holiday Tyrannosaur. One devil medallion and a cut-up t-shirt later, and I’m now the proud owner of a 42” Dinosaur Dracula, Christmas edition. Life is weird, and good. Mad, hysterical love to the few of you who tipped me off. And to the gu… Read More

The M.U.S.C.L.E. Hard Knockin’ Rockin’ Ring!

It was Christmas Day, 1986. Maybe ’87. Let’s say ’87. Thank God for my friend across the street. As mentioned before, my family celebrates on Christmas Eve and celebrates it hard. Christmas Day was never much of anything in our house, and in some ways, it was actually depressing. T… Read More

Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts.

Along with one or two returning holiday flavors, Kellogg’s has blessed us with all-new Frosted Marshmallow Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts, thereby increasing their streak of Pop-Tarts flavors with extremely long names to an impressive 267. Okay, so they’re not as “showy” as Kellogg’s previous off… Read More

Times Square’s Puffy Hustlers.

One nice thing about my current workload is the chance to see Times Square at its Christmassy finest. There are lights, trees and blaring Christmas music at every turn, and I’m always reminding myself to stop, look around and soak it all in. And then, when I do, someone bumps into me and calls me<… Read More

BFCDAW #5: The Albino Ferret of Christmas.

I met the Albino Ferret of Christmas in 1986. One of my then-in-college brothers was home for the holidays, and with him were his two pet ferrets. Thinking back, I have no idea how he got away with dorm room ferrets, but kids never considered the particulars. One looked like an everyday “normal”… Read More

Horde Prime Revealed!

Longtime readers know that I’m a huge fan of the He-Man & She-Ra Christmas Special, from 1985. (Officially titled He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special, but that shit’s clunky.) I watched it on that long ago December night with my older brother, and to this day, we still quote it. I�… Read More

BFCDAW #5: Honey Balls.

Today’s painting depicts HONEY BALLS. (And also a candy cane bee.) Honey Balls are marble-sized bits of fried dough, soaked with honey and topped with colored sprinkles. My mother brings them to all of our Christmas parties, and she’s been at it for decades. I despise the things, but God hel… Read More

BFCDAW #4: Crabs of Christmas Island.

More Bullshit Filler Content Devised At Work! This time, I painted the famous mass migration the Christmas Island red crabs. Christmas Island is on the short list of places I need to visit at least once before I die. (It has to be before — that much I am adamant about.) Between these crabs, th… Read More

1998′s Bedrock Blizzard Pebbles Cereals!

When you hear “Fruity Pebbles” and “Christmas” mentioned together, it’s usually in reference to that classic commercial – the one where no less than Santa himself persuaded Fred to give Barney cereal. But Post’s Pebbles brands did more Christmasing than that! Look no further than 1998�… Read More

BFCDAW #3: Snobot.

Holiday Hodgepodge #2!

HEY: There’s a new feature up, highlighting fifteen treasures from the 1998 Sears Wish Book! Another busy week lies ahead, but if the rumors are true, Dino Drac should be kicking the holidays into high gear by the end of it. I hope so, bruddah. You complete me. Here’s another attempt to make… Read More

Holiday Hodgepodge!

It’s 10:55. If I don’t want to be a raving lunatic tomorrow, I have exactly one hour to get this post written, edited and published. Gonna have to rush. I’ll do my breast to avoid mistakes. In tonight’s Holiday Hodgepodge: Five Christmassy things, just in time for Thanksgiving! #1: Santa Bro… Read More

Christmas Crunch is back!

Before I gush about cereal, a quick note. I’m on a gig right now, which started small but has grown into something unfathomably huge. In many ways, that is good, but it hasn’t left me with much time to write about nonsense on the Internet. I originally thought we’d be wrapping in December, and… Read More

Crazy Holiday Pringles!

Pringles. A brand of ultrathin potato crisps, sold in canisters that convert nicely into coin banks. All of you already knew this. According to the ad slogan, “once you pop, the fun don’t stop.” Until recently, that was probably true. Even the worst Pringles flavor was still pretty good, and … Read More

Snow Day!

Hello there, Giant Surprise Snowstorm. I shall pay tribute to you with cocoa dust and tiny marshmallows: It’s still snowing as I write this. This is no bullshit storm, either. These are big flakes, and they’re actually sticking. I love snowstorms, even if now isn’t the time for one. My city is… Read More

“How’s the turtle, Mrs. Stubbs?”

If you’ve never seen My Blue Heaven, please don’t take that as a cue to skip this post. This is less about an old movie and more about RIDICULOUSLY CUTE BABY TURTLES, and only a fool would miss those. …but of course, since I so rarely get the opportunity to do so, let me atRead More

Holiday Chips Ahoy Cookies!

I’d originally intended to bridge Dino Drac’s Halloween and Christmas seasons with some non-holiday “neutral” posts, and while I’ll still probably do that, this couldn’t wait. Google tells me that Holiday Chips Ahoy aren’t new for 2012, but tonight was the first time I’d even… Read More

Shrunken Apple Head’s Birthday!

I’m on my horrible laptop, swiping power from a friend’s generator. The storm knocked out our electricity, and it might not be back for a week. (Fortunately, that’s all the storm knocked out. Our problems are trivial compared to the total insanity surrounding us. Good luck to everyone who was … Read More

Madd Matt’s Halloween Party.

I was going to save this for later, but there is no way I’ll have power later. Thus, you will suffer now. Happy Halloween! If the storm doesn’t destroy me, there’s still more to come.… Read More

Pumpkin Spice Philadelphia Cream Cheese.

It’s 7 in the morning. I haven’t been to sleep yet. Instead, I’m writing about cream cheese, rushing to beat the sunrise, because it will crack my skin and turn me to ash. I don’t have a choice. According to the news, I’m going to wake up underwater. If I want to tell the worldRead More

Roseanne’s TUNNEL OF TERROR.

Some of you may skip this review out of sheer hatred of All Things Roseanne, but if you’re into Halloween, avoiding Roseanne a huge mistake. Few have done Halloween better than her. I started watching the TV series mainly out of necessity. Growing up, remember how the last cartoon would air at 4:3… Read More

Facebook Halloween Games!

Admission: I play too many Facebook games. Way too many. I’ve lost countless hours to those horrible slots, bingo rounds and bubble puzzles. Though I suppose there are worse ways to waste my life. For example, I could spend all my free time painting obscene anti-religion signs using tar and bl… Read More

Madd Matt reviews the Inflatable Skeleton Cooler.

One of my favorite finds of the season was an inflatable cooler, in the shape of a coffin, with a demonic skeleton bathing inside. Fifteen bucks seemed a little steep, but if pressed, I could not name another coffin-shaped skeleton-boosted cooler that costs less. It’s perfect for parties or as an … Read More

Tales from the Darkside Fansite Tribute!

This is a tribute to a Tales from the Darkside fansite that hasn’t been updated since 2005. No joke, it really is! As of this writing, the Angelfire-hosted site is still online. It’s ancient and it looks ancient, but to me, it was – and to some degree, still is – a perfect representation of<… Read More

The Halloween Corn Maze!

My city’s pumpkin patches aren’t really “pumpkin patches.” They’re the same places that sell Christmas trees in December and flowers in May. (I think that’s when they start selling flowers, anyway.) By July, expect nothing but flags. These little outdoor “stores” serve strictly seaso… Read More

The Frito-Lay Frankenstein Chip Sack!

I know they’re just regular chips in a special package, but come on: I couldn’t say no to this. A huge sack of snack-sized chip bags, made to look like an enormous Frankenstein head. Given that this monster is capable of fitting six sealed bags of chips in his mouth, I’d estimate his total… Read More

Madd Matt reviews an 18″ Michael Myers doll.

It’s 8 AM. I haven’t been to bed yet. Really reminded me of the old, old, OLD X-E days, when overnight “shifts” were the norm, and days could be slept into virtual nonexistence. I rarely have the chance to fall this far off the grid anymore, and it was fun to rekindle my love ofRead More

Rice Krispies Treats Pumpkin Kit!

Thanks again to everyone who ordered a Dino Drac Halloween Print. I was pleasantly surprised with how well they sold, and from all I’ve heard, people seem to dig them. Still have some left, so if you want in, this is the week! In other, more pressing news, I made pumpkin-shaped Rice Krispies Treat… Read More

Vlog: “Horri-Ballz” Monster Doll Review.

My kind and generous buddy, DJ D, sent me an incredible Halloween care package with all sorts of goofy/great stuff inside. Including this! His name is Marzian, and he’s one of the Horri-Ballz – furry alien monsters who make strange noises when you beat them up. Like Tribbles, but a hundred times… Read More

5 Halloween Things!

Halloween is fast approaching, and I have so much wonderful stuff left to cover. This post aims to decrease the number of bullets on my Must-Write-About list by five. I’ll feel better about the world when it’s done. SpongeBob Plastic Cup with Straw: I could not have fewer uses for this, but for … Read More

McDonald’s Scooby-Doo Halloween Pails!

For the third year in a row, McDonald’s brought back the ol’ trick-or-treat pails. Think of them as the spiritual successors to the “McBoo” pails of the ‘80s. What they lack in charm, they make up for in sooo many stickers! 2012’s pails have a Scooby-Doo theme. This surprised me. I w… Read More

Haunted Quaker Oats Castle.

Guys. I turned a can of Quaker Oats into a haunted castle. I don’t know what inspired me to do this. Maybe I stole the idea from someone else. If I remember who, I will seek out and thank that person profusely. Turning an oatmeal container into Halloween art just completely made my night. MyRead More

Halloween Lunchables YES!

I can’t believe it. It’s finally happened. It’s taken years, but it’s finally happened. We got ‘em, folks. We got Halloween Lunchables. You have NO IDEA how long I’ve waited for this. This is my tenth year doing the Halloween Countdown, and during almost every prior edition, I looked for… Read More

Vlog: “Big Frank” Talking Monster Pal!

Hey: The Creepy Commercials Countdown has been updated with Slimer and a three-eyed ghost. Today’s vlog is about Big Frank, “the talking monster pal kids love to fix!” Made by Playskool in 1992, Big Frank dresses like an inmate and has a bunch of tools hidden in his head. The video is barely c… Read More

Halloween Milk?

Before we dive into dairy, how about a quick shill? International orders are now accepted for the Dino Drac Halloween prints! I’ve also updated the page with some nicer photos. Thanks to everyone who ordered one so far! Sent out the first big batch this afternoon, and boy, did the people behind me… Read More

Count Chocula Treats!

Hey, have you been keeping up with the Creepy Commercials Countdown? You probably should. Clarence Clemons is there. Now here’s Count Chocula: I saw them in Target, and I flipped. They were on a rack right by the registers, but one of the store employees, who I guess had assumed the role of … Read More

Invasion of the Scarecrows!

Imagine my luck! On the exact weekend that I go to New Hampshire, New Hampshire gets invaded by hundreds of insane scarecrows. The Scarecrows on the Common event occurred in the city of Jaffrey, and God, they are FOOLS if this isn’t in their tourist brochure. I know you’ll think I’m ex… Read More

Freddy Krueger Fireworks!

I spent the weekend in New Hampshire, where the air was crisp, the leaves were golden, and the drive to get there was six and a half fucking hours. I’d never been to New Hampshire before this trip, but now I’m an expert. Did you know that there are a lot of antique stores inRead More

Pumpkin Decorating Kits!

I normally don’t go for department store label stuff, but Target’s “Pumpkin Decorating Kits” called out to me. Were I to believe the photos, they were going to let me turn small pumpkins into full-bodied monsters. Upon seeing their $5 price tags, I was disappointed. If my brain had a mouth, … Read More

The real Dinosaur Dracula?

Okay, I guess I need to weigh in on this! Dozens of times over the past several hours (okay, maybe one dozen times), I’ve been sent links to the big news: “Dinosaur Dracula” is no longer a figment of my imagination. It’s a real goddamned thing. A real life Dinosaur Dracula. Here’s the scoo… Read More

Vlog: The CVS Animated Zombie!

FYI: The Creepy Commercials Countdown has been updated for 10/2. Go read about Michael Myers! As for this guy, he’s a 28” inch animated zombie. I found him at CVS for 20 bucks. We have a lot of CVS pharmacies around here, and I’ve seen legions of these in every last one. Finally, I couldRead More

Halloween Soda Cans!

Just launched a special feature: The Creepy Commercials Countdown! A nice guy named Larry donated a slew of ancient Halloween-themed TV commercials, and in the spirit of making mountains out of molehills, I’m turning them into a month-long event. Every day during October, a new (old) creepy commer… Read More

The 2012 Halloween Mood Table!

Happy October! The Halloween season is officially here. There’s exactly one month to soak up everything it has to offer. Strange candy, hayrides, and masks that smell like toxic chemicals. Even the gloomiest mofos would have to admit that October is one of the most bearable months of the year.… Read More

Dollar Tree’s Halloween Masks!

Wow, September is almost over. That’s scary. Hope you’re enjoying Dino Drac’s Halloween Countdown so far. Bigger things are coming in October! When I went to Dollar Tree last week, I also picked up a bunch of masks. They’d be pretty terrible if put to use as non-ironic Halloween costumes… Read More

RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks!

My friend “D” mailed me a spooky care package, and among its incredible contents was one of RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks. The one that looks like a pumpkin. My first thought? “Pretty cool.” My second thought? To run out and buy the remaining two Halloween Color Blanks. And my t… Read More

September 25th, 1993.

Today is September 25th, 2012. And this, a page from one of my old journals, was written exactly nineteen years ago. If I have things straight, I would’ve been in the ninth grade. A frosh in high school. God. It’s one of the few pages I feel comfortable sharing. Even so, I couldn’t bring mysel… Read More

Venus Flytrap Bog of Doom!

Yesterday morning, we drove out to God Knows Where, searching for some New Jersey farmers’ market I remembered visiting last year. I swore it was only twenty minutes away, but Sunday’s events proved otherwise. Eventually, we found it. And, hell yes, they still had the same assortment of insanely… Read More

Sticky, Squishy Pumpkin Parts Kit!

My adventures in idiot blogging have brought many pumpkins to their doom. There was the time I hammered Lite Brite pegs into one. Another time, I turned a pumpkin into the Trix Rabbit. Then there was the afternoon when one grew a clay face and Yoda arms. This year, I hope to bring the totalRead More

The Icebusters Sno-Cone Machine.

Today, you’re going to see the spirits of the dead run a lemonade stand. TGIF! Okay, so it isn’t a lemonade stand. It’s a snow cone stand. The Icebusters Sno-Cone Machine, made by Lanard in 1985, was an incredibly strange attempt to steal shine from the Ghostbusters craze. I’m not being a br… Read More

Deadly Dollar Store Finds: 2012 Edition.

I had five bucks, and Dollar Tree was right there. It’s funny. I’ve been doing the Countdown forever, and in years past, Dollar Tree was always my final resort. A last ditch effort to catch the Halloween spirit by way of frivolous spending, after every other store in a twenty mile radius let me… Read More

Vlog: Blurp Balls Toy Review.

His name is Count Heave-a-Heart. He’s one of the Blurp Balls. His ocular veins look like the letter “Y” repeated thirteen times. Very rare toys with a cult following that just won’t die, the Blurp Balls arrived in 1991, and were essentially uber versions of Madballs. Get the who… Read More

Horror DVD Menu Screens!

Tonight, we pay tribute to horror DVD menu screens. Somebody has to. They’re great. I own well over a hundred scary movie DVDs, and since I have the tendency to buy copies of films I’ve already seen ten thousand times, the real thrill, and frequently, the only thrill, is seeing how the productio… Read More

Marshmallow Pumpkin Patch Incident.

After this post, I promise not to make weird things out of Halloween food for at least a few days. I know I’ve been doing it too much. It’s not like such features are turning me into an Internet superstar, so I must assume that there’s some deeply buried psychological need at play. The firstRead More

Hubba Bubba’s Halloween Squeeze Pops!

I’m currently working on a big ass feature. It has the potential to be great, but it also has the potential to be terrible, so I’m gonna need some time to wrap that baby up. With panic setting in over the thought of a Monday with no new content, I dived into my stock ofRead More

Eggo Seasons Pumpkin Spice Waffles!

I’ve been waiting for Eggo to make “Halloween waffles” for nearly as long as I’ve been doing the Countdown. I guess my feeble attempt to summon them by way of a voodoo crock pot was more effective than I imagined it would be, because finally, THEY ARE HERE. You know, I’d seen mentions of t… Read More

Vintage Vending #5: Frankenstein’s Spare Parts!

I’m in a good mood today. It’s important to use good moods for good things. I can think of no better way to channel my positivity than by describing fake vomit. On with another edition of Vintage Vending! Frankenstein’s Spare Parts Collection came out in ’89, though it looks decades older t… Read More

Fishdom Spooky Splash Game Review.

A series of unlikely keywords led me to Fishdom Spooky Splash, made by Playrix. It’s an easy game with a Halloween twist, where your goal is to fill a virtual fish tank with all manner of macabre ornaments. Further research tells me that there are other “Fishdom” games, and that this is just a… Read More

Scribble.

I need to put this scribble here. It’s a pointless scribble. It contains no hidden messages. It’s literally just a scribble. I have some Dino Drac hangups that I want to nip in the bud. I just edited this post to remove an explanation of those hangups, because they’re not really re… Read More

Mars Halloween Candy Pails!

I doubt that more than three of you remember them, but I don’t care. These candy pails, distributed by Mars back in ’89, meant the world to me. Even today, I look at them and see everything good about Halloween. I can’t remember the specifics of the promotion, but it went something like this: … Read More

Madd Matt Reviews Halloween Grow Capsules.

I don’t know if I’ve led a life worth living, but someday, when there’s nothing left to lose, I’ll have a great story to tell. FYI: Madd Matt was wrong on a few counts in this video. Technically, Leviathan isn’t from a moon of Saturn, or Jupiter. Leviathan is from Hell.… Read More

Sky Bar’s Zombie Food!

It was a dark and stormy night. Actually, it was a clear and sunny afternoon. But it felt like night, thanks to a dark inner glow created in an ancient copy of Adobe Photoshop. And because ZOMBIES. One of the zombies bore a striking resemblance to Michael Jackson. Too close to be a coincidence. Whet… Read More

Dinosaur Dracula’s Halloween Art Expo!

(PAGES: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10) Guys, you didn’t let me down. I think it’s safe to say that Dinosaur Dracula’s Halloween Art Expo was a rousing success. Dozens upon dozens of you participated, with no promises of prizes, kudos or anything else. You rule, and so do your fuckingRead More

Candy Corn Oreo Cookies!

Unless you spent all of Friday completely Internet-free, you’ve heard the news. The kings and queens of Nabisco must be dancing, because the entire world has become positively drunk with glee over their latest offering: Candy. Corn. Oreos. Like I wasn’t going to hunt these down the second I hear… Read More

Vlog: The Cloneheads Alien Costume Kit!

Imagine a costume that gave you two extra heads, gold skin and a bib with the planet Saturn on it, for one low price. It sounds impossible, but in 1983, it happened. Distributed by Spearhead Industries, the Cloneheads collection was a series of inflatable Halloween costumes that, among other things,… Read More

The ORIGINAL Halloween Countdown, from 2003.

Dinosaur Dracula’s 1st Halloween Countdown is more of a reset, of course, since I’ve been doing this thing for ten goddamned years. The first Halloween Countdown, back on X-Entertainment, started on September 18th, 2003. The 40 or so articles within it were often rushed, often crude and often de… Read More

Spookylicious Pop-Tarts Are Back!

I was glad to see Spookylicious Pop-Tarts make their triumphant return. Even if Kellogg’s has only been at it for a few years, Halloween Pop-Tarts have already become one of my absolute needs for a great season. The saga began in 2010, when Choc-o-Lantern Pop-Tarts were introduced. Then, in 2011, … Read More

Vintage Vending #4: Wacky Goulies!

If you thought the Vintage Vending series was taking a break during the Countdown, you have no future as a psychic. Some of those old prizes absolutely scream “Halloween,” and if you think I’m reaching, just take a look at this one: A macabre mix of Madballs and Ghoulies! Meet the Wacky Goulie… Read More

Matchbox Con-Nec-Tors from 1990!

If you were reading X-E last November, you might remember my tribute to Matchbox’s Con-Nect-Ables, a line of plastic cars which broke into pieces that could be mixed-and-matched to create bizarre vehicles that were part truck, part helicopter. If I had to guess, nobody came here expecting that ope… Read More

Cadbury Screme Eggs!

If my hunts so far have been any indication, we’re in for one hell of a season on the Halloween candy front. So many new goodies for 2012! I’m actually frightened by how many I’ve located so far. I mean, it’s only September 4th. As much as I love giving Halloween two full months toRead More

Halloween Bread?

Pepperidge Farm may have peaked with their Goldfish crackers, but this comes close. Keep an eye out for a new pair of autumn “Swirl” breads, in the style of raisin bread, but with fruity bits that are far more appropriate for a season filled with death and monsters. Yes! On the left, Car… Read More

Dino Drac’s 1st Ever Halloween Countdown!

A balloon. A blurry picture of an orange balloon, with crude jack o’ lantern features drawn on. This could only mean one thing. And it probably explains why the site is all orange and purple. It must be Dinosaur Dracula’s… The Halloween Countdown began on X-E, back in 2003. As much as I’d l… Read More

Vintage Vending #3: Button-Button!

I know you were expecting a full tour of Iguana’s house, but I haven’t had a chance to complete it yet. My printer isn’t being cooperative, and without going into detail on why I need a printer to build a house for a paper lizard, I assure you that I absolutely do. So that willRead More

Make your own Toucan Sam!

Before today, it’d been a long time since my last box of Froot Loops. Don’t get me wrong. Froot Loops is great, but for me, it was always a rebound. If one of the cereals I really liked did something to piss me off, I’d slide back to Froot Loops for a bit, and then,Read More

Vintage Vending #2: Sticky Stuff!

Today we recall a true old faithful of the twenty-five cent prize arena: Sticky toys that stuck to things with their stickiness. It’s Sticky Stuff! A collection of gooey doodads that will, quote, discolor paint! Yessss! The photo looks bad, but rest assured, it’s just as blurry and crude in real… Read More

Vintage Vending #1: Random Toys!

Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula’s latest ongoing blog series: Vintage Vending! As kids, there wasn’t one among us who didn’t get butterflies at the sight of those stupid red vending machines — the kinds with tiny toys and trinkets as prizes, hidden inside neat little egg-like capsules. Those… Read More

Chillin’ with Chilla.

One reason I needed to take a powder back in June was the opportunity to do some promo work with Chiller. If you don’t know, Chiller is an all-horror channel, and I’d already fallen in love with it – mainly because it was the only place to see Tales from the Darkside on television. IRead More

Vlog: TMNT Sewer Exploration Belt, from 1990.

One of the less-referenced reasons why Playmates’ old Ninja Turtles toys were so great was that they were so strange, and nothing proves it quite like the Sewer Exploration Belt, from 1990. A kid-sized arsenal of goofy crap in the vein of Batman’s utility belt, it covered every base. A real work… Read More

Mad Mascots: Bigg Mixx!

Through crooked senses, “Bigg Mixx” rhymes with “brilliance.” And it should. The cereal was named after its mascot, a beast that was part chicken, part wolf, part moose and part pig. Think Foghorn Leghorn, after a mishap with Seth Brundle’s telepods. I could try to come up with some ad… Read More

The Trash Pack Schoolbag!

I feel I’ve committed a grave sin in having waited this long to say anything about The Trash Pack, a line of wonderful little monster figures made by Moose Toys. On the scale of M.U.S.C.L.E. but with the sensibility of Madballs, this is the exact kind of thing that someone like me should publicly … Read More

Dinosaur Dracula at the Beach Fair!

There was some kind of weird beach fair thing in Staten Island this past weekend. I’m never one to turn down weird beach fair things. The event exceeded expectations. It was like a tiny-sized, bootleg version of Wildwood out there. There weren’t any roller coasters, but they did have a giant, in… Read More

SPOTTED: Starscream in Top Gun!

Remember that “X-E Dissects” series on the old site, where we visited fictitious locales like Fred Savage’s bedroom and the wacky store from The Facts of Life, searching for real life retail goodies? It was one of the last things I was totally into doing on X-E, and I have every intention o… Read More

Ten things I wanted to buy at Monster-Mania.

We dropped by the Monster-Mania horror convention in Cherry Hill last night, pretty much on a whim. Wasn’t planning to stay over, and with the last remaining rooms being $179 a night, I’m glad we didn’t. I haven’t been to the New Jersey version of the con in years. This visit was confirmatio… Read More

Marshmallows From Outer Space!

I wanted to create something out of marshmallows, so I asked the folks on Dino Drac’s Facebook page for suggestions. There were plenty of good ideas, but this one stood out: “A fluffy spaceship, obviously. With super interesting aliens who have a unique, snack-based culture.” Thank you, … Read More

Come home to me, brainy.

Okay, technically, I found “Kraang,” not “Krang.” But still. I got some e-mails asking if I was gonna cover the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures, spun from the fast approaching Nickelodeon show. Well, of course. But it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t start with Krang. Sorry. Kraa… Read More

Vlog: My New Robot!

At one of those random discount stores, there he was. Buried deep in a pile a Nissin Cup Noodles in flavors that haven’t existed since 1998, there he was. I’ve named him Kid Galaxy. He is a wonderful wadio-controlled wobot. Presented as an easy-to-operate doodad for only the youngest of tykes, I… Read More

Vlog: Stretch Screamers “Oozers” Figure.

I reserve the right to cover Stretch Screamers again sometime. I love the things, and a ten minute video of me trying to open boxes just doesn’t go far enough to show how much. If you don’t remember them, Stretch Screamers was a line of fantastic, stretchy monsters. BIG ones. As the li… Read More

Lightning Gremlin Figure!

It’s been weeks since I’ve put anything of substance on Dinosaur Dracula, but man, I had a good reason. Working with some new folks on some new things, and it’s been a blast so far. I love what I’m doing, but I haaaate the timing. I didn’t even get a whole month to enjoy theRead More

Friday the 13th!

I’m not quite ready to come out of my cave, but you don’t get a chance to wish strangers on the Internet a happy Friday the 13th often. HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH! Speaking of which, here’s a promo I worked on for EPIX’s all-day Friday the 13th marathon, which is happening as I ty… Read More

The 5 Greatest Things About Carlo.

He may have turned up in a photo before, but I think it’s time for you to officially meet Carlo. Carlo is great. He’s great for way more than five reasons, but I’m on a tight time budget. Actually, just going by the photo above, I’m sure you could dream up more than twenty reasonsRead More

Alien.

Since you guys did such a great job last time, I thought we’d give it another try. In a single comment, your job is to explain what you’re seeing here. Again, there are no wrong answers. This image has more than one story to tell. I look forward to reading your ideas. In all sincerity,Read More

BFCDAW #2: My New Robot.

It’s time for Bullshit Filler Content Devised At Work #2. This one was important. Today was crazy busy. I knew I wouldn’t have the energy to come up with an original concept after the long commute home. If I wanted to post anything tonight, I needed a BFCDAW miracle. I think it was around 3PMRead More

Vlog: Boglins Hand Puppets.

One thing I dig about Dino Drac is the chance to get even more mileage out of things I’ve already covered a hundred times. Yay for Boglins! If you don’t remember them, Boglins were monstrous, rubber hand puppets that came out in the late ’80s, ready to rock our worlds with twirling… Read More

Wallet-Sized George Photos.

Got some mail today! <3 Mail from Snapfish. If you’ve been paying any attention to Dino Drac, you know what this is. And I couldn’t be more excited. Four bucks and four days later, I have wallet-sized photos of George the Gremlin. I asked you to choose the better option, but I cheated and ord… Read More

BFCDAW #1: Troll 2 Fan Art.

Even as Dinosaur Dracula was still under construction, I knew I’d run into issues balancing my professional life with the site. I hoped it wouldn’t happen ten minutes after launching, but it wasn’t a huge surprise when it did. I vowed to incorporate my workday into Dino Drac’s content. H… Read More

Berry Blue Jell-O Recipes.

Berry Blue Jell-O arrived in 1992, and the fanfare — at least in my imagined version of things — was enormous. Here were raspberries and blueberries, finally putting aside their differences to take over the planet. This was perhaps the first signal of the “blue candy” craze that woul… Read More

Vlog: Real Ghostbusters Proton Pack.

I was always more into the action figures, but The Real Ghostbusters collection was truly a “pretend play” pioneer. The Proton Pack came out in 1986. Every boy I knew had one. There was no room for “maybes” on the chance to become a real, live Ghostbuster. A chance to make lots of noise! ARead More

Photo of the Georges.

I grew up swearing that “Brain” was the best Gremlin ever. He isn’t. You might remember Brain from Gremlins 2. He’s the one who gained the ability to speak, and used that ability to sing “New York, New York” while other Gremlins sorted through crates of plastic explosives. Brain was a gr… Read More

Wendy’s Berry Almond Chicken Salad.

This week’s Saturday Night Thread is brought to you by some kind of fruity salad from Wendy’s. We’ve all had those nights when we’re hungry, hopeless and scouring YouTube for old fast food commercials. You’ll sit there watching Jason Alexander fumble around with a McDLT, angry that you can… Read More

Salt.

In a single comment, your job is to explain what you’re seeing here. There’s much to consider, but I don’t want to influence things. What does this mean to you? Tell the story of what you see. There are no wrong answers.… Read More

Garfield and Friends Fruit Snacks!

I didn’t get a chance to post yesterday, duh. Got smacked in the face with several new gigs that required immediate attention, and will continue requiring attention over the next few weeks. I guess this is the part where I remind everyone, but mostly myself, that Dinosaur Dracula is a hobby, and a… Read More

Ninja Turtles Cracker Topper!

Let’s kick this baby off with a photo of Krang, dressed like a soft serve ice cream cone. But it isn’t soft serve ice cream. It’s mofuggin’ Easy Cheese. Side note: Mondo Gecko’s tongue has always bothered me. It looks like he’s biting it. I admit that diving straight into Krang s… Read More

Vlog: “V” Toys – Enemy Visitor Doll + Bop Bag.

It’s been years since I’ve done anything about V, but I finally had a good reason: The official V bop bag. The vlog covers two V toys: The bop bag, and the official “Enemy Visitor” doll, which I wrote about back in 2005. You anti-Vimeo people can also watch it on YouTube. All officially lice… Read More

Spikey Bulba eats donuts.

A quick run to Dunkin Donuts for a Big Ass Coffee has changed my life for the better. Check out this little standee: Yeah, of course I pocketed it. Dunkin Donuts has a ton of promotions going on for Men in Black 3, from cosmic cocoa coffees to star-shaped donuts. Way more interesting than theRead More

Vlog: 1989 Talking Freddy Krueger Doll.

I wasn’t planning to post anything tonight, but I thought five minutes of me rambling about a decades-old Freddy Krueger doll was better than nothing. EDIT: If you’re having trouble watching that on Vimeo, you can see it on grainy stupid YouTube by clicking here. Hard to believe that Din… Read More

Carnival Glories.

A hundred billion years ago on X-E, I wrote a big article about a carnival that camps out near our local mall for one week each year. The article gained some notoriety for its ironically massive photo of the world’s smallest woman. That same carnival has come back every year since, albeit on a sma… Read More

Spidey Food!

The best thing about comic book heroes becoming movie stars? The junk food. I’d almost forgotten about Spidey’s new movie, but there he was, all over Target, waiting to remind me with an assault of dyed-red snacks. Since promotions like this are all about creating awareness, I’d say they’re … Read More

Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula!

Dinosaur Dracula has hatched. Pull up a chair and have a slice, bro. This is going to be a long, rambling intro. I’ve already ditched around twenty attempts at writing it. I ran X-Entertainment from April of 2000 through today, and it was a great ride. That site changed my life in many unbelievabl… Read More