Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • How To Make Stuffed Mushrooms.

    Here’s my recipe for stuffed mushrooms, which has gotten a surprising number of requests. Like at least three. I make these for Thanksgiving and Christmas every year, because my habits are my comforts and if you fuck with them you die. (And also because it’s one of the few dishes my fa

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 9!

    I’ve curated another batch of ancient Christmas commercials. Keep reading if you enjoy Chicken McNuggets, Chex Mix and copper top battery testers. Don’t if you don’t. McDonald’s: Scrooge’s Christmas! (1984) Ebenezer Scrooge is so giddy over Chicken McNuggets that he drops

  • 10 Awesome Things About Home Alone!

    It’s been a blink-and-you’ll miss-it holiday season so far. Thanksgiving is in less than a week and Christmas is barely more than a month away. I can’t stand it. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by those three month Halloween celebrations, because I feel like I don’t even have time to lis

  • Dino Drac’s November Funpack!

    If you correlate the holiday season with frivolous spending, BOY do I have the thing for you. Get a load of Dino Drac’s November Funpack! (U.S. ONLY. AVAILABLE FOR A LIMITED TIME!) Vintage collectibles, fun toys and a whole Thanksgiving dinner, all in one box! If you don’t know the dea

  • The 1994 Toys “R” Us Big Toy Book!

    The arrival of a new holiday season means more ancient toy catalog reviews on Dino Drac. Yay! Shown above is the 1994 edition of Toys “R” Us’s Big Toy Book. By then, the Big Toy Book was far and away the most important holiday catalog out there, taking the top spot from the Sears Wis

  • Hostess Peppermint Twinkies: Video Review!

    I’ve been quietly surveying all of the new-for-2017 holiday junk foods, and man, there sure are a lot of them. Good ones, too! Even if you’re not into the red-and-green season, I hope you can at least appreciate the fun garbage you’re gonna get to eat. Take these monsters, for exampl

  • Happy Halloween from Madd Matt!

    Happy Halloween, everyone! Thanks so much for being a part of Dino Drac’s 2017 Halloween Countdown. I was determined to get one last video done before November hit, and with a huge assist to caffeine, here we are: Madd Matt is back with one last bag of Halloween junk. Enjoy. Unfortu

  • Purple Stuff: Creepy Questionnaire!

    Eek! A combination of things — good things, bad things and things in-between — caused me to be a little (lot) less prolific than I would’ve liked to have been this last half of October. Sorry about that! Don’t worry, though. I’m still totally in love with Halloween, and e

  • My Pet Monster Doll in Movies and on TV!

    The original My Pet Monster doll was awesome in a once-in-a-lifetime way. He was just so big, so unique and so toothy! If you’re looking to buy back a piece of your childhood, that doll is one of the few ‘80s toys that really lives up to its legend. In fact, My Pet Monster was

  • Five Random Action Figures, Part 42!

    Get set for a special Halloween edition of Five Random Action Figures! This time, we’ll be dealing exclusively with MONSTERS… like creatures with pumpkins for heads, and also creatures just named Pumpkinhead. Samhain Retro-Action Real Ghostbusters (2011) Samhain was one of the “b

  • 2017’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 3!

    This will likely be the final edition of 2017’s Best Halloween Junk Food, but that ain’t for lack of deserving snacks. This season may have been short on HUGE things, but the sheer volume of “pretty good” things was astounding. Here are my five latest finds: The Spider Donut! Found

  • 1980s Candy in Killer Klowns!

    If you’ve never seen Killer Klowns from Outer Space, fix that! The 1988 film is exactly as weird as the title suggests, but it’s also just a good little movie. Those who have seen it may remember a minor scene wherein the Killer Klowns invaded a pharmacy. That’s why I’m here tonigh

  • Dino Drac’s Halloween Funpack!

    With only two weeks left until Halloween, you’re (hopefully) trying to cram in as much spooky fun as possible. We’re now at the point where if you blink one too many times, October will be over! LIMITED TIME! LIMITED QUANTITY! UNITED STATES ONLY! But have no fear! With Dino Drac’

  • Spooky Cereals from Beyond the Grave!

    I try to work one “retro cereal box” article into every Halloween Countdown, mainly for the excuse to spend more money on old cereal boxes. Help. Ghostbusters II Cereal! (1989) In one form or another, Ghostbusters Cereal remained on shelves from 1985 through 1991. It was a wildly impre

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 18!

    Get set for the latest edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, the series in which I pay tribute to ancient spooky ads, or something. On a mostly unrelated note, I never bought into the idea that essays need a strong intro. Monster Face! (1992) Monster Face was basically a Dr. Frankenstein

  • ’80s and ’90s Halloween Newspaper Ads, Part 4!

    Here’s another batch of Halloween-themed newspaper clippings from the ‘80s and ‘90s, featuring everything from Fruity Yummy Mummy to free goldfish. (If you missed the last edition, it’s over here!) World Premieres of Halloween Classics! (October 30th, 1985 & October 31st, 1989)

  • Slimer Fruit Snacks, from 1991.

    If you don’t remember Slimer Fruit Snacks, don’t feel bad. Few people do! They arrived in 1991, a figurative minute before the original Real Ghostbusters cartoon went kaput. Slimer didn’t have much momentum in his attempt to take over the fruit snack market, but he sure put the effor

  • The 2017 Halloween Mood Table!

    If you’re having a hard time getting into the Halloween spirit, I don’t blame you. Everything kinda sucks right now. I’d never tell anyone to put trivial pursuits first, but having small respites from the real world isn’t a bad thing, either. Besides, I have the perfect thing for p

  • Purple Stuff goes Monster Mini Golfing!

    One of my favorite things about the Halloween season is the constant encouragement to go on silly adventures. How else would I end up playing miniature golf in a glow-in-the-dark dungeon? In the latest Purple Stuff Podcast minisode, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit play a round of Monster M

  • The Halloween Whopper: Two Years Later.

    Exactly two years ago today, I tried one of Burger King’s Halloween Whoppers. You remember them, right? The Halloween Whopper was the shining star of the 2015 Halloween season. Even a thousand articles about green excrement couldn’t ruin the moment. I’ve been running the Halloween Co