Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, #3!

    In this edition of Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, I gush about Karg, Grey Gorillas and even the Fun Fruit Trees. Oh, and Super Shredder too. Can't forget him.

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 21!

    Today is my birthday. I thought I’d celebrate by writing about Regis Philbin’s old Harvest Crisps commercial. You do you, I do me. Burger King’s Burger Bundles! (1987) I’ve never been wild about Burger King. As a kid, I’d only eat there out of geographical convenience or beca

  • 1980s Junk Food Spotted in INTRUDER!

    If you’re into ‘80s slasher flicks and you’ve never seen Intruder, stop it! It’s so good. Set in a supermarket for what ends up being a literal graveyard shift, it’s gory and tense, but more surprisingly smart and funny. It’s also a chance to see oodles of legit 1980s groce

  • Purple Stuff: The Best Super Bowl Commercials!

    I’m not a big football guy — shocker, I know — but I always look forward to the Super Bowl. Hey, it’s an excuse to waste a day eating garbage food while snarking on social media. What’s not to love? Course, I’m really in it for the commercials… which just happ

  • Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, #2!

    Welcome to the second edition of Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, starring creatures of all sorts and from all walks. Picking which five monsters to feature is always the hardest part. Am I in the mood for giant spiders, or is it a techno-organic robot hitman kind of day? If I take both, w

  • Video Store Adventure #7: California Video!

    So last year I told you about six video stores that were somehow still in business. Me and Jay went all over Jersey and Pennsylvania to find them, and I was convinced that we’d hit every last one within reasonable driving distance. Fortunately, I was wrong! Welcome to California Video, s

  • Dino Drac’s January Funpack!

    You know what solves the post-holiday blues? Retail therapy. Course, I might just be saying that because I have something to sell you. You never know with me. LIMITED TIME ONLY! UNITED STATES ONLY! Dino Drac’s January 2018 Funpack is finally here! I’m late-as-heck this month, so this o

  • Tiny Tributes To Minor Monsters, #1!

    Here are five tiny tributes to five minor monsters: Drakulon, Creature of Doom! Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot (1968) It blows my mind that Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot — the American edit of Japan’s Giant Robo — never became big-on-the-internet. In the series, Johnny

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 20!

    I’ve been digging through stacks of home-recorded VHS tapes, searching for more old TV commercials. It’s seriously one of my favorite things to do. I even wear a special outfit. Below: Another batch of retro TV commercials. This time, they’re all from the ‘90s, when grunge was big

  • Spooky Unsolved Mysteries Segments, Part III!

    At just around this time last year, the classic, Robert Stack-hosted episodes of Unsolved Mysteries began streaming on Amazon, Netflix and beyond. It was pretty much the best thing about 2017. …but if you stopped paying attention after the big launch, boy, you’ve missed a lot. Amaz

  • 11 Things I Loved About 2017.

    2017 was meme-level ridiculous, but I’d rather remember the good parts than the bad parts. Even if those good parts mostly involved sushi and Zima. Below are eleven things I loved about this year. I hope you can find at least as many things that you loved about it, too. Give it a sho

  • Christmas Memories in Crayon.

    I drew pictures representing five Christmas memories, and then wrote about them. I’m super good at never going viral. Just to get this out of the way: Yes I draw like I’m five and no it’s not for effect. Underneath the Christmas Tree! I used to love laying under the Christmas tree. I

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 11!

    I wanted to sneak one last edition of Classic Christmas Commercials onto Dino Drac before THE BIG DAY, which is now approaching so rapidly that it might actually be January by the time I finish this paragraph. Below: Five more Christmas commercials from 1987, featuring ALF, Garfield and S

  • Ancient Holiday Appetizers, Part 5!

    Well, it’s that time again. Time to make the weird old appetizers. I grew up surrounded by recipe books that were published many years before I was born. They fascinated me as a kid, and they still do now. Not every dish is appetizing, but there was such a colorfully crude artistry to it

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 10!

    A reader donated over seven hours’ worth of Christmas specials, all taped off television back in 1987… with every commercial left intact. Yes! (Thank you, Robin!) Everything in this edition of Classic Christmas Commercials is from that tape, so imagine them breaking Rudolph and Frosty

  • Dino Drac’s December Funpack!

    I want you to think of this month’s Funpack as “Christmas morning in a box.” From collectibles to candy to reading material to classic stocking stuffers, Dino Drac’s December Funpack is guaranteed (well, the fake sort of guarantee, anyway) to make your month merrier. (And also guar

  • 2017’s Best Holiday Junk Food, Part 1!

    Below: Five of this year’s hottest holiday junk foods, from punny M&M’s to THE BEST POSSIBLE SLURPEE. Nutmeg & Cinnamon Triscuit! I love Triscuits but I hate writing about them, because deep down I know that you shouldn’t pluralize them that way. If I want to refer to sev

  • Xmas Newspaper Ads from the ’80s and ’90s!

    Here’s a collection of ancient newspaper ads, all with a Christmas flavor. May they fill you with nostalgia and joy and maybe Swiss Miss. Candy Canes and Ninja Turtles! (1991) Family Dollar was hardly the first place gift-givers would’ve hit while hunting for TMNT figures, but even the

  • McDonald’s Holiday McNuggets from 1987!

    Y’all remember the time McDonald’s pitched Chicken McNuggets as actual literal Christmas presents, right? In 1987, McDonald’s unveiled Holiday Chicken McNuggets, which came in awesomely complicated packages that looked (and even opened like) gift boxes. It wasn’t McD’s only push

  • 12 More Songs For Your Holiday Playlist!

    I love Christmas songs. Even the bad ones. They make me feel happy even when I’m not. They turn drives to department stores into scenes out of family movies. They make coffee taste better and $3 candles smell sweeter. Jay from The Sexy Armpit feels the same way, so we’re thrilled to de