Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Yard Sailin’, Volume V.

    As many of you know, this hasn’t been my favorite week. Since our apartment is currently a minefield of memories we’re not ready to deal with, getting out of the house is a good thing. Thank God for yard sale season. Longtime readers should remember last year’s Yard Sailin’ series,

  • March of the Vintage Comic Book Ads.

    After flipping through hundreds of yellowed pages that all stank like old glue, I’m now armed with another batch of old comic book ads. When you’re done reading this, go check out the previous editions. Nightmare on Elm Street Dream Package! (Pulled from unknown 1988 comic) Our pal Lar

  • Five McDonald’s Happy Meal Boxes.

    Let’s take a look at five old McDonald’s Happy Meal boxes, and see how many tangentially related paragraphs they inspire. You may consider this a surrogate sequel to my article about old fast food bags. God, I write about a lot of garbage! Back to the Future Happy Meal! Year: 1991 Wow,

  • Five More Cereals From Beyond The Grave.

    Long ago, I wrote about five ancient cereal boxes from my personal collection. Later, I did it again. Since many of you seem to find great joy in the idea that I’m surrounded by decades-old food, I think we’ll go for the triple. Here are five more cereals from beyond the grave: Morning

  • Six Snacks I Want Back, Volume 5!

    Welcome to the fifth edition of Six Snacks I Want Back, where I torment you by celebrating foods you can no longer eat! Side bonus: Lots of heavy GIFs sure to aggravate the site’s mobile users!  Chef Boyardee Sharks!  Debuting somewhere around 1990, Sharks tasted exactly like everythi

  • WWF Hasbro Figures from the ’90s!

    Today’s article is about Hasbro’s World Wrestling Federation action figures from the early ‘90s. These guys, I mean: I’m sad to admit that I wasn’t a big collector during their heyday, I guess owing to building suspicion that I was too old for “wrestling figures.” (I was in j

  • Six Snacks I Want Back, Volume 4!

    It’s time for another edition of Six Snacks I Want Back, celebrating foods that can no longer be eaten without the aid of time machines or slipshod DIY recipes posted by liars on social media. If you missed the three previous installments, check ‘em out over here.  Oreo Big Stuf!  Th

  • Dino Drac’s April Funpack — On Sale Now!

    ($25 MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTION AVAILABLE IN THE U.S. ONLY!) Dino Drac’s April 2015 Funpack is available now! Hard to believe that the Funpacks are entering their ninth month. I never expected this to go for so long, and I’m insanely grateful for everyone who took the plunge and helped me j

  • Vintage Vending #23: Squash Faces!

    In this edition of Vintage Vending, we’re gonna take a look at Squash Faces. I realize that none of you have heard of them before, nor have you even seen the words “squash” and “faces” paired together. I live to change lives, in the smallest and stupidest ways possible. I don’

  • Five Random Action Figures, Part 16!

    After an action-packed WrestleMania weekend that’s left me feeling like I’ve lost the right to ever eat or drink again, I return to normalcy with eight thousand words about ratty toys. Below: The sixteenth edition of Five Random Action Figures, starring one green guy, one white guy, on

  • Blockbuster Bonus Boxes from the 1990s?

    This is the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down… all because of a box of product samples given away by Blockbuster in the 1990s. See, I was planning to do a Deadsites entry on Blockbuster. After digging up a version of its webpage from 1997, something caught my

  • Cherry-picking from old trading card packs.

    Assorted travels have left me with assorted trading card packs. I figured it was time to do something with them. …so I ripped open the six shown above, and challenged myself to name the best card in each of them. This wasn’t as easy as it sounds. For example, in the case of the Gre

  • The Coffee Cup Exhibition: Part 2!

    Uh oh — the coffee cups are back! If you recall, I asked Dino Drac readers to submit photos of their weirdest coffee cups, owing to morbid curiosity and probably worse. That was back in July. Over a hundred of you accepted the challenge, and I was so overwhelmed the sheer volume of s

  • Old Comic Book Classified Ads.

    Continuing on with another look at old comic book ads, this time I’m focusing on the classifieds. These were smaller ads, often no taller than an inch, tossed by the dozens onto individual pages. For me, that was where the real magic happened. These ads had to make an impression with few

  • More Weird ’80s and ’90s Candy.

    I’ve been doing some spring cleaning, so before I shuffle parts of my old candy collection onto shelves that are too annoying to reach twice, I thought I’d pay tribute to them here. Turning crud into content makes me feel less bad about buying twenty-year-old Spider-Man gumballs, after

  • Go get those Doritos Jacked 3D things.

    Doritos Jacked 3D Jalapeño Pepper Jack tortilla snacks isn’t something I want to type twice, but my God are they delicious. Some are heralding them as the return of 3D Doritos — that being the colloquial title of those airy Dorito “shells” that were all the rage over a de

  • Revenge of the Comic Book Ads!

    As mentioned in my previous post, I bought a pile of cheap comics books from the ‘80s and ‘90s specifically for the old advertisements, which never fail to remind me of a time when the stupidest stuff meant everything. So, pulled from the pages of otherwise unremarkable issues of Excal

  • Scenes from a Comic Book Show.

    Over the weekend, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit found ourselves in a church, or maybe an event center, or perhaps some kind of school. I’m not exactly sure, but some building in Clifton NJ had been commandeered for a comic book convention. A small comic book convention, I mean. This w

  • Six Snacks I Want Back, Volume 3!

    Continuing the series, here are yet another six snacks that I want back. You’ll notice in this edition that I’m really stretching the definition of “snack.” Please do not continue reading if you’re unable to accept two pound pitas and alcoholic beverages as “snacks.”  Giggle

  • Six Snacks I Want Back, Volume 2!

    I had so much fun writing Volume 1, I thought I’d dive right back in. Here are another six snacks that I want back, from chocolate-stuffed cookies to fries in juice boxes:  Cheetos Paws!  Chee-tos Paws (they didn’t drop the hyphen until later) was perhaps the snack of the early ‘