Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • The M.U.S.C.L.E. Hard Knockin’ Rockin’ Ring!

    It was Christmas Day, 1986. Maybe ’87. Let’s say ’87. Thank God for my friend across the street. As mentioned before, my family celebrates on Christmas Eve and celebrates it hard. Christmas Day was never much of anything in our house, and in some ways, it was actually dep

  • Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts.

    Along with one or two returning holiday flavors, Kellogg’s has blessed us with all-new Frosted Marshmallow Hot Chocolate Pop-Tarts, thereby increasing their streak of Pop-Tarts flavors with extremely long names to an impressive 267. Okay, so they’re not as “showy” as Kellogg’s pr

  • Times Square’s Puffy Hustlers.

    One nice thing about my current workload is the chance to see Times Square at its Christmassy finest. There are lights, trees and blaring Christmas music at every turn, and I’m always reminding myself to stop, look around and soak it all in. And then, when I do, someone bumps into me and

  • BFCDAW #5: The Albino Ferret of Christmas.

    I met the Albino Ferret of Christmas in 1986. One of my then-in-college brothers was home for the holidays, and with him were his two pet ferrets. Thinking back, I have no idea how he got away with dorm room ferrets, but kids never considered the particulars. One looked like an everyday

  • Horde Prime Revealed!

    Longtime readers know that I’m a huge fan of the He-Man & She-Ra Christmas Special, from 1985. (Officially titled He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special, but that shit’s clunky.) I watched it on that long ago December night with my older brother, and to this day, we still quo

  • BFCDAW #5: Honey Balls.

    Today’s painting depicts HONEY BALLS. (And also a candy cane bee.) Honey Balls are marble-sized bits of fried dough, soaked with honey and topped with colored sprinkles. My mother brings them to all of our Christmas parties, and she’s been at it for decades. I despise the things, b

  • BFCDAW #4: Crabs of Christmas Island.

    More Bullshit Filler Content Devised At Work! This time, I painted the famous mass migration the Christmas Island red crabs. Christmas Island is on the short list of places I need to visit at least once before I die. (It has to be before — that much I am adamant about.) Between these

  • 1998’s Bedrock Blizzard Pebbles Cereals!

    When you hear “Fruity Pebbles” and “Christmas” mentioned together, it’s usually in reference to that classic commercial – the one where no less than Santa himself persuaded Fred to give Barney cereal. But Post’s Pebbles brands did more Christmasing than that! Look no further

  • BFCDAW #3: Snobot.

  • Holiday Hodgepodge #2!

    HEY: There’s a new feature up, highlighting fifteen treasures from the 1998 Sears Wish Book! Another busy week lies ahead, but if the rumors are true, Dino Drac should be kicking the holidays into high gear by the end of it. I hope so, bruddah. You complete me. Here’s another attem

  • Holiday Hodgepodge!

    It’s 10:55. If I don’t want to be a raving lunatic tomorrow, I have exactly one hour to get this post written, edited and published. Gonna have to rush. I’ll do my breast to avoid mistakes. In tonight’s Holiday Hodgepodge: Five Christmassy things, just in time for Thanksgiving! #1:

  • Christmas Crunch is back!

    Before I gush about cereal, a quick note. I’m on a gig right now, which started small but has grown into something unfathomably huge. In many ways, that is good, but it hasn’t left me with much time to write about nonsense on the Internet. I originally thought we’d be wrapping in Dec

  • Crazy Holiday Pringles!

    Pringles. A brand of ultrathin potato crisps, sold in canisters that convert nicely into coin banks. All of you already knew this. According to the ad slogan, “once you pop, the fun don’t stop.” Until recently, that was probably true. Even the worst Pringles flavor was still pretty

  • Snow Day!

    Hello there, Giant Surprise Snowstorm. I shall pay tribute to you with cocoa dust and tiny marshmallows: It’s still snowing as I write this. This is no bullshit storm, either. These are big flakes, and they’re actually sticking. I love snowstorms, even if now isn’t the time for one.

  • “How’s the turtle, Mrs. Stubbs?”

    If you’ve never seen My Blue Heaven, please don’t take that as a cue to skip this post. This is less about an old movie and more about RIDICULOUSLY CUTE BABY TURTLES, and only a fool would miss those. …but of course, since I so rarely get the opportunity to do so, let me at

  • Holiday Chips Ahoy Cookies!

    I’d originally intended to bridge Dino Drac’s Halloween and Christmas seasons with some non-holiday “neutral” posts, and while I’ll still probably do that, this couldn’t wait. Google tells me that Holiday Chips Ahoy aren’t new for 2012, but tonight was the first time

  • Shrunken Apple Head’s Birthday!

    I’m on my horrible laptop, swiping power from a friend’s generator. The storm knocked out our electricity, and it might not be back for a week. (Fortunately, that’s all the storm knocked out. Our problems are trivial compared to the total insanity surrounding us. Good luck to everyon

  • Madd Matt’s Halloween Party.

    I was going to save this for later, but there is no way I’ll have power later. Thus, you will suffer now. Happy Halloween! If the storm doesn’t destroy me, there’s still more to come. 🙂

  • Pumpkin Spice Philadelphia Cream Cheese.

    It’s 7 in the morning. I haven’t been to sleep yet. Instead, I’m writing about cream cheese, rushing to beat the sunrise, because it will crack my skin and turn me to ash. I don’t have a choice. According to the news, I’m going to wake up underwater. If I want to tell the wor

  • Roseanne’s TUNNEL OF TERROR.

    Some of you may skip this review out of some weird distaste for Roseanne, but if you’re into Halloween, avoiding her a huge mistake. Nobody has done Halloween better.   The first few seasons were as popular with critics as they were with fans, but even when the show started goi