Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • 5 Halloween Things!

    Halloween is fast approaching, and I have so much wonderful stuff left to cover. This post aims to decrease the number of bullets on my Must-Write-About list by five. I’ll feel better about the world when it’s done. SpongeBob Plastic Cup with Straw: I could not have fewer uses for this

  • McDonald’s Scooby-Doo Halloween Pails!

    For the third year in a row, McDonald’s brought back the ol’ trick-or-treat pails. Think of them as the spiritual successors to the “McBoo” pails of the ‘80s. What they lack in charm, they make up for in sooo many stickers! 2012’s pails have a Scooby-Doo theme. This surpris

  • Haunted Quaker Oats Castle.

    Guys. I turned a can of Quaker Oats into a haunted castle. I don’t know what inspired me to do this. Maybe I stole the idea from someone else. If I remember who, I will seek out and thank that person profusely. Turning an oatmeal container into Halloween art just completely made my night

  • Halloween Lunchables YES!

    I can’t believe it. It’s finally happened. It’s taken years, but it’s finally happened. We got ‘em, folks. We got Halloween Lunchables. You have NO IDEA how long I’ve waited for this. This is my tenth year doing the Halloween Countdown, and during almost every prior edition, I

  • Vlog: “Big Frank” Talking Monster Pal!

    Hey: The Creepy Commercials Countdown has been updated with Slimer and a three-eyed ghost. Today’s vlog is about Big Frank, “the talking monster pal kids love to fix!” Made by Playskool in 1992, Big Frank dresses like an inmate and has a bunch of tools hidden in his head. The video i

  • Halloween Milk?

    Before we dive into dairy, how about a quick shill? International orders are now accepted for the Dino Drac Halloween prints! I’ve also updated the page with some nicer photos. Thanks to everyone who ordered one so far! Sent out the first big batch this afternoon, and boy, did the people

  • Count Chocula Treats!

    Hey, have you been keeping up with the Creepy Commercials Countdown? You probably should. Clarence Clemons is there. Now here’s Count Chocula: I saw them in Target, and I flipped. They were on a rack right by the registers, but one of the store employees, who I guess had assumed the

  • Invasion of the Scarecrows!

    Imagine my luck! On the exact weekend that I go to New Hampshire, New Hampshire gets invaded by hundreds of insane scarecrows.

  • Freddy Krueger Fireworks!

    I spent the weekend in New Hampshire, where the air was crisp, the leaves were golden, and the drive to get there was six and a half fucking hours. I’d never been to New Hampshire before this trip, but now I’m an expert. Did you know that there are a lot of antique stores in

  • Pumpkin Decorating Kits!

    I normally don’t go for department store label stuff, but Target’s “Pumpkin Decorating Kits” called out to me. Were I to believe the photos, they were going to let me turn small pumpkins into full-bodied monsters. Upon seeing their $5 price tags, I was disappointed. If my brain had

  • The real Dinosaur Dracula?

    Okay, I guess I need to weigh in on this! Dozens of times over the past several hours (okay, maybe one dozen times), I’ve been sent links to the big news: “Dinosaur Dracula” is no longer a figment of my imagination. It’s a real goddamned thing. A real life Dinosaur Dracula. Here’

  • Vlog: The CVS Animated Zombie!

    FYI: The Creepy Commercials Countdown has been updated for 10/2. Go read about Michael Myers! As for this guy, he’s a 28” inch animated zombie. I found him at CVS for 20 bucks. We have a lot of CVS pharmacies around here, and I’ve seen legions of these in every last one. Finally, I c

  • Halloween Soda Cans!

    Just launched a special feature: The Creepy Commercials Countdown! A nice guy named Larry donated a slew of ancient Halloween-themed TV commercials, and in the spirit of making mountains out of molehills, I’m turning them into a month-long event. Every day during October, a new (old) cre

  • The 2012 Halloween Mood Table!

    Happy October! The Halloween season is officially here. There’s exactly one month to soak up everything it has to offer. Strange candy, hayrides, and masks that smell like toxic chemicals. Even the gloomiest mofos would have to admit that October is one of the most bearable months of

  • Dollar Tree’s Halloween Masks!

    Wow, September is almost over. That’s scary. Hope you’re enjoying Dino Drac’s Halloween Countdown so far. Bigger things are coming in October! When I went to Dollar Tree last week, I also picked up a bunch of masks. They’d be pretty terrible if put to use as non-ironic Hallowee

  • RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks!

    My friend “D” mailed me a spooky care package, and among its incredible contents was one of RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks. The one that looks like a pumpkin. My first thought? “Pretty cool.” My second thought? To run out and buy the remaining two Halloween Color Blanks

  • September 25th, 1993.

    Today is September 25th, 2012. And this, a page from one of my old journals, was written exactly nineteen years ago. If I have things straight, I would’ve been in the ninth grade. A frosh in high school. God.

  • Venus Flytrap Bog of Doom!

    Yesterday morning, we drove out to God Knows Where, searching for some New Jersey farmers’ market I remembered visiting last year. I swore it was only twenty minutes away, but Sunday’s events proved otherwise. Eventually, we found it. And, hell yes, they still had the same assortment o

  • Sticky, Squishy Pumpkin Parts Kit!

    My adventures in idiot blogging have brought many pumpkins to their doom. There was the time I hammered Lite Brite pegs into one. Another time, I turned a pumpkin into the Trix Rabbit. Then there was the afternoon when one grew a clay face and Yoda arms. This year, I hope to bring the tota

  • The Icebusters Sno-Cone Machine.

    Today, you’re going to see the spirits of the dead run a lemonade stand. TGIF! Okay, so it isn’t a lemonade stand. It’s a snow cone stand. The Icebusters Sno-Cone Machine, made by Lanard in 1985, was an incredibly strange attempt to steal shine from the Ghostbusters craze. I’m not