Yesterday afternoon, I asked the folks on Twitter for help with a special art project:
They could name any two people or characters, and I’d merge them into one.
So like, if people ever wondered what it might look like had Godzilla been part Ninja Turtle, I was their guy.
Dozens were happy to oblige, and I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of awesome ideas. Below are my first five attempts to do them justice. Please keep in mind, I have the artistic ability of the average third grader.
LIGHT OF THE OUTWORLD!
(Goro + Jesus Christ)
Suggested by @jeffmack
Goro, the four-armed Shokan who beat the shit out of you in Mortal Kombat, finds his more benevolent side through a merger with Jesus Christ. Kind of an extreme measure.
In retrospect, I admit that I should’ve given him (Him?) a halo. Read More…
A reader/pal who we’ll call “MZ” sent me a huuuuuge pile of old taped-off-television videocassettes, loaded with commercials from the ‘80s and ‘90s. What a score. I’m now armed with enough material to keep the Five Retro TV Commercials series going until 2050.
One of those tapes had a handwritten “Ghostbusters Cartoon” label, and that seemed like a good place to start. Indeed, it was several hours’ worth of Real Ghostbusters episodes, all taped back in 1988, with every last commercial left intact. So much win! Here are five of my finds:
Army Gear! (1988)
Wow, I haven’t thought about Army Gear in ages, and considering that it’s among the few ‘80s toy lines that literally not one reader has ever asked me about, I’m guessing that you haven’t, either.
Shame on us all! Army Gear was a collection of kid-scaled weapons and equipment that could be transformed into miniature action figure playsets, and it was some of Galoob’s finest work.
Like, you’d start off with an appropriately-sized plastic machete, and when you got bored of slashing at pillows, you could turn it into a lookout tower for tiny soldier figurines. It was like buying a Halloween costume and ending up with a Micro Machines playset. Just a totally boss concept. Read More…
Everything featured in this edition of Five Random Action Figures was found last weekend. Four came from that flea market, while the fifth was hiding at a yard sale just down the street.
Total cost? Eight bucks. Considering that any two of them would’ve been a bargain for that price, I begin this many paragraph journey with a stupid sense of pride.
As the starring hero of the franchise, it’s a safe guess that Lion-O was by far the most popular Thundercats figure, beating out the likes of Panthro, Vultureman, and that steampunk pirate dude with the giant hand.
That’s usually the case with starring heroes, irrespective of how cool their action figures actually were. Fortunately, in Lion-O’s case, his really was one of the best in the line, and with the possible exception of Jaga, it was certainly the best of the “good guy” figures. This despite the fact that Lion-O wore the sort of outfit that could get you kicked out of a hotel pool.
Even without his plastic Sword of Omens and prototype Infinity Gauntlet, Lion-O still looks regal. Like the result of some Frankenstein experiment that merged He-Man with Ronald McDonald, but better because he’s all of that plus a cat. Read More…
And we’re off!
The 2016 flea market and yard sale season has begun, and I’m super excited to spend the next umpteen weekends buying dirty garbage from total strangers. Thank God I have this site to help justify so many frivolous purchases. Remember this when I toss an iffy GoFundMe up during Dino Drac’s closing week.
Since the flea market in Englishtown, New Jersey treated me so well last year, I decided to play it safe and start this year’s hunts over there. (And big thanks to Jay for driving while my car was otherwise indisposed.)
After only an hour, I was carrying so many repurposed supermarket bags that I could barely squeeze through the dirt-floored aisles. Several of those bags had shredded in the process, and by the end of the trip, I was literally pouring out Micro Machines like the world’s dopiest but most hyper-specific robot dispenser. I looked like Crystal from the mall episode of Roseanne.
Below are seven of my best scores. In addition to all of these goodies, I found enough materials for the next two editions of Five Random Action Figures. All in all, a great haul!
Pile of Micro Machines! ($1)
I’m a sucker for Micro Machines, specifically the earliest ones, when the cars looked like cars and none of them came with six-bladed propellers shaped like futuristic throwing stars.
One buck was an amazing deal for that pile. All except one are legitimate Micro Machines — a neat feat considering how many knock-off lines there were — but the one that isn’t just happens to be the best of ‘em all, because it’s the goddamned Joker Van from 1989. Sweeeeeeet. Read More…