Dinosaur Dracula!

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/24/12.

It’s Christmas Eve!

…and the final gift is a DOOZY.

Behold, Dino Drac’s BABY DINOSAUR, which hatched from a giant grey egg and immediately started doing cute things. Impossibly cute things, like clapping. God, we LOVE this baby dinosaur. (more…)

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/21 – 12/23/12.

Dino Drac hates today’s magnifying glass, but I don’t. I love how Playmobil made it all jewel-like and oversized, as if it’s actually a supernatural crystal-gazing thing that will let us see the future.

“So you wanna see the future, eh? Then let me open tomorrow’s gift.”

I don’t even put up a fight, anymore. He’s too hard to argue with. Too many dismissive hand gestures. (more…)

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/19 – 12/20/12.

Today’s gift is a lunchbox filled with torture devices.

Dino Drac acts like he hates it, but I see through him. Hey, we were all kids once. I’ve pretended to hate great gifts plenty of times, for reasons many and varied. I’m not buying this facade. There is no way a vampire dinosaur wouldn’t want torture devices.

“I’ll level with you. The gifts are fine. I just want to open tomorrow’s, too.”

I knew it was a mistake to start with that. Now he thinks it’s an everyday thing. On the other hand, I’m getting pretty sick of burying the site’s good content with giant Advent Calendar photos, so I tell him to have at it. (more…)

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/17 – 12/18/12.

“They can’t be serious. What is this, a translucent breadbox?”

Nah, I think it’s just some kind of holding tank. Either way, a pretty junky gift. In fact, it’s so junky that I refuse to respect it with a bold font. These Playmobil Advent Calendars really love their peaks and valleys.

“This gift sucks. I’m opening tomorrow’s. I don’t care what you say.”

Uh, I was going to suggest the same thing. It’s not like I know how to rock an entry about a tiny holding tank that holds nothing. I’d have to go way out of my depth on the existential humor. (more…)

Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/16/12.

Expecting more disappointment after that hideous stretch of tree parts, Dino Drac is pleasantly surprised by today’s gift.

Meet Safari Woman, a fiery brute who may actually just be a statue.

“She’s not moving! She’s not moving at all!”

Actually, Dino Drac, she is moving. She’s just doing it really slowly. Not sure why.

“This is stupid! Should I push her?”

I tell Dino Drac to give her some time. After all, Safari Woman had been trapped in a box for weeks, with what was assuredly limited oxygen. And that says nothing of the emotional effects.

“But the guy we got on December 1st was fine when he came out. I’m going to push her!”

I’m quick to admonish him. I’ve seen the power of these Playmobil women. There’s no reason to risk being blasted with fluorescent lightning just because my dinosaur has a sick obsession with pushing people.

“Can I at least rename her? I see her more as a Gracie.”

Fine, fine. She’s Gracie. Now step away.