So let’s talk about Pop-Tarts. Let’s talk about Pop-Tarts for the whole day.
New for the 2017 Halloween season, get a load of Frosted Chocolate Fudge Printed Fun Pop-Tarts!
We get new fall-themed Pop-Tart flavors pretty regularly, but this is the first time in a long time that Kellogg’s went all-in on a proper spooky theme. Just look at that box! They even used the first typeface that comes up when you search for Halloween fonts.
These join the preexisting Pumpkin Pie and Caramel Apple flavors, meaning that there are currently THREE options for people who only bother with Pop-Tarts when there are bats and goblins involved.
If you’ve never tried a “Printed Fun” Pop-Tart, those are the ones with funny pictures baked into the frosting. It’s one of my least favorite Pop-Tarts gimmicks, but with these, it works.
I’m impressed with how many different pieces of art Kellogg’s conceived for this screwball endeavor. I’ve seen ten so far, and I’m pretty sure that there are even more than that.
Best of all, it ain’t junky art. Once you move beyond the comic strips and the on-the-nose Halloween symbols, you get wacky shit like that giant spider from Enemy, the incomparable Skeletart, and even a Pop-Tart that looks suspiciously like me.
Eating them at room temperature preserves the artwork, but I toasted a few so I could better understand the flavor.
They seem to burn easily, though I guess the six levels of Genies & Gems I plowed through while they were in the toaster must get partial credit.
Interestingly, they look positively horrifying after being toasted. Like the mangled back of some poor guy who fiddled with the Lament Configuration. Perfect for the season!
They’re delicious, but not quite as tasty as Spookylicious Pop-Tarts, which they appear to have replaced this year. Imagine sandwiching a gob of smoking hot pudding between chocolate graham crackers. And now imagine doing that while wearing a vinyl cape. That’s these.
Side note: This comic panel from the box suggests an even cooler concept for a Halloween Pop-Tart. It’s the Frankentart!
I’m almost afraid of those becoming a reality, because I know that I wouldn’t ever be able to ever shut up about them. It could be March and I’d still be talking.
Out of a total possible score of 50, here’s how Frosted Chocolate Fudge Printed Fun Pop-Tarts break down:
Box art: 8.5
How Much I Like The Number 8.5: 10
So, 44 out of 50. High marks. Big scares. Solid work from Kellogg’s.
PS: Thanks to Professor Jbones for tipping me off about these!