Madd Matt reviews SPIDER BITES candy, from 1990.

Madd Matt sure spent a long time making this video!

Never heard of Spider Bites? Made by Topps in 1990, it was a collection of ghoulish spider figurines that dispensed awful, colorful candy.


They came in a really great box!

Thank you.

57 Responses to Madd Matt reviews SPIDER BITES candy, from 1990.

  1. Cool!

  2. Dammit! I want to watch this…but spiders. :(

  3. Matt,

    I still really, really want to buy that cyclops watch.

  4. The forces of evil seem to have surprisingly bad rhythm.

  5. i LOL’d for real in 2 spots, the point you dumped all the spiders on the floor(your face is priceless), and when you broke in to Mad-Donna! HAHAHA

  6. Sometime around 1994 or 1995 my family stopped at a country vegetable stand selling pumpkins and corn and all that other autumn crap,and the owners were selling these individually, out of the box. I got a black one, I didn’t eat the candy, because it was pretty obvious that they were several years old already, but the spider served as my dime store Kumonga to fight with my other Godzilla figures for the few years left of my childhood at that point. I can’t believe I’m seeing you do a review of that exact product, never occurred to me I’d see or hear from that dumb little spider thing again.

  7. Matt, I want to be you when I grow up.

  8. What’s funny about the box is that the kid seems happy he’s about to be killed.

  9. Madd Matt reminds me of Batman ’66 era Caesar Romero with the facepaint this year.

  10. You never cease to surprise and delight, Matt.

    I’m pretty sure I remember these. I may have even had one once, though given my youthful aversion to spiders, I’m not sure how that could have happened.

  11. Great stuff. Some reason I wanted to see a Human Centipede-like train of spiders. You’ve made mention in the past of neighborhood friends from childhood — I can only imagine they look on one of their faces if they’d ever stumble upon a video like this complete with tropical karaoke and a scorched flesh upper-torso dance party.

  12. Great video, got me back in the spirit. I’ve been a little bummed lately because I have to teach an evening class during Halloween. Which is a time I always spend playing the XE/dinodrac jukebox out the window while I hand out candy and drink scary themed beers.

    By the time I get home, they’ll all be gone :(

  13. So… Is there any reason you haven’t added La Isla Bonita to the summer jukebox or what?

    Now I feel like it needs to be added immediately only I prefer the Madd Matt version buddy.

  14. The end of this video made me and my partner ridiculously happy. Thank you Madd Matt!

  15. Madd Matt!! That was great. this made my night.

  16. Not gonna lie, I laughed so hard at Larry dancing to La Isla Bonita I may have peed myself a little.

  17. I paused the vid & scanned the barcode…It is now being used for Push Pop Sliderz Candy-18 Piece Box, from $36.00 online.
    Good to see that barcode is still being used for candy I guess.

  18. @Beastman
    Game over, man. You win. I mean… Wow.
    Sincerely, hats off to you for going above and beyond!

  19. hahaha that was awesome. Great video man

  20. Larry was really digging that song.

  21. Perfect ending

  22. Wow! I figured the video was over when it went black but it was really just getting started. :)

  23. I think you and Larry should go on a cruise and report back. You guys deserve it.

  24. I was having a lousy night, for the past couple of nights.. and then I saw THIS. Thank you, sir.

  25. Well, that I didn’t see coming. I didn’t see that coming at all. Well done!

  26. Always nice to see the return of Madd Matt. I don’t remember these at all, but given I probably would have found them even more creepy as a kid than I do now, that’s not surprising.

  27. I totally missed out on these. I was never a huge spider fan but I think these would have appealed to me.

    I just loved Larry in this video. I quite possibly think he is my favorite Matt mascot. No offense to Shrunken Apple Head of course! I look forward to my signed Larry photo. I am a huge fan and this video just cements the deal for me.

  28. Madd Matt is like an unemployed TV Horror Host in search of a network to air his VHS horror movies. He’s better than 99% of the horror hosts out there.

  29. A bunch of my mothers side of the family lived in Duryea/Avoca where the Topps factory was located.

    Someone always had a family member who worked there so there were always freebie trading cards, weird candy, and mistake products somewhere to be found. Not to mention how well stocked many corner stores were with weird things.

    All of my connections from there either moved out or are quite retired. I still drive past it when I’m home since it’s a fun road to drive. There is a speed trap in, well, all of Duryea is a speed trap.

    It’s one of the few brands from home or near that I get excited when I hear about it.

  30. I am now caught up with the articles for this week so far. A comment about the VHS tapes part 3 article.

    A conversation about the Burbs without Bill’s comments/insight? I am taken aback.

    This spider candy funny I watched earlier today the video while I was getting changed to go up to the post office, and so I was watching the video from far away and not full screen. It at first looked to me like a box of chocolates. The ones with the individual wrappers you get around Christmas or Valentine’s Day. Funny I am so weird.

    Also, When I get about 100 dollars saved up I am going to buy full display vintage trading card boxes off Ebay and sell trading cards in my new store front on a table. I am trying to figure out on my own what cards have a broad enough audience. I cannot have a niche market card line, that one out of 10 people will buy for example when another is 1 out of 3. I need as many demographics as possible. It’s frustrating/fun to decide.

    Now I have to go list some items on Ebay. I have two Monopoly games, a Ford Mustang one and an NFL one, a with package bobble head Littlest Pet Shop monkey to list. They are on Amazon, but I need to crosspost them on Ebay for a faster sell. Kind of not looking forward to it, the Monopoly games are a PITA to take pictures of. Been having a great selling month so far this month. A blessing considering I thought being broke would suck the fun out of my Halloween season this year. We had to get a loan on an item to pay the cable, but I am still selling more then I usually do.

  31. This is going to sound terrible, but the part where Madd Matt coughs and the box’s contents went falling to the floor made me laugh so much I watched it three times. Please tell me that was staged.

    I don’t remember seeing these around, and wouldn’t have touched them due to my childhood aversion to spiders.

    This video has my favorite phrase of the week: “joined at the ass to suction cups.”

  32. Ghost busters three is happening!
    In a interveiw with dan ackroyd on my local tv news he said that they were casting and thry had a script

  33. I am so glad I watched this video on the bus. I don’t know how you do it, but that was the funniest thing I have seen since the last one.

    keep up the fine work, mutant.

  34. Every now and then something is featured on this site that I would have forgotten about entirely were it not for your tireless efforts. I remember playing with a couple of these bastards in the bath.

    Also, tell Madd Matt his voice is sounding especially great this year

  35. This cheered up a dreary October afternoon, also it looks to me the child ‘lured’ his parents to the spiders lair.

  36. Haha! great! Larry is invited to my next party! He really has the moves.

    @Richard. Yes! Mad Matt as Horror Host. I would watch that and record it. On Beta of course.

  37. Matt

    With talent like that you could open for Alice Cooper who still tours the world at 65.

  38. Great video! I don’t recall these, but they definitely would have appealed to me in 1990(and now as well :) ).

  39. Matt never seems to run out of expired junk food.

  40. Matt,

    2 things.

    First, in 1990, Hong Kong was a part of the United Kingdom.

    Secondly, I thought for sure you would decide to end the video by eating the candy while we the watchers could learn whether or not you would die in so doing.

  41. I’ve had La Isla Bonita in my head ALL day now! :) Oh, and I just ordered a Dino Drac Halloween print.

  42. Best. Video. Ever.

    Originally you didn’t strike me as a Madonna fan. Now I know better. Viva Madd Matt.

  43. DAMMMMM Matt, that sticky icky I sold you in front of staten island mall last wednesday has got you mad zooded bro. get some visene bro before you go into work like dat son. see you next week bro. bring change of a $100. yeeah!

  44. Well played, sir(s).

  45. That unexpected “La Isla Bonita” seriously just catapulted this to being the best video of this year’s countdown. There was just enough of of a hesitation before it kicked in that I thought the joke was going to be that Larry’s suggestion was to remain a mystery, but there is zero fucking way that I could have seen that song coming.
    Standing ovation.


  47. holy crap that was funny Matt

  48. After the week I’ve had, this video was exactly what I needed. Thank you for that.

  49. Matt I love your singing!!

  50. Each video you make seems to be better than the one before it. Well done, sir. This video was hilarious. Now I want Madd Matt singing La Isla Bonita on my iPod.

  51. Ahh magnificent karaoke session!

    Like Astro Zombie I wouldn’t have touched the spiders in my quite arachnophobic youth, and even now I would prefer not to touch certain kinds (realistic/gross rubbery) of toy spiders. Recently I was rummaging through a bin of dinosaurs at the store and found that I was touching a squishy rubber tarantula and I felt like I wanted to wash my hands immediately.

  52. Why did I wait so long to watch this???? LOL! That totally made my Monday Morning!

  53. Those spiders bring back memories. Or one very particular memory, at least.

    It was only a few days away from December 25th, and my brother had just told us he’d invited his new girlfriend to drop by our family’s house on Christmas day. So we knew she was coming, but we didn’t know if we were supposed to buy presents for her, if she was only gift-swapping with my brother, or what the expectation was.

    I was talking it over with another family member while we browsed the aisles of our local convenience store, and we ran through all the usual questions. “If we buy her something but she didn’t bring anything for us, will she feel awkward? What if she brings something and WE don’t have anything? If we get some gifts and set them aside just in case, will it be too obvious that they weren’t under the tree but got brought out later? What price range should we be aiming for?” And so on it went, until I spotted these spider candies on the shelf and got sidetracked. I’m a sucker for any kind of candy in crazy packaging, so of course I had to buy one.

    I take it up to the counter, and the salesclerk, who’d been listening to our whole conversation, suddenly monstered out like the librarian in Ghostbusters and shrieked “IS THAT ALL YOU’RE GETTING FOR HER???” She was poised to spring, and it was clear that whatever amount of time I had left on this planet, it could be drastically shortened by whatever I said next.

    I hastily stammered that no, the spider was for me, of course we’d get something much nicer for my brother’s girlfriend, and we were on our way just this very second to go shopping for her. And it all turned out great, because we had a very nice Christmas, my brother’s gf (and now wonderful wife) was quite pleased with the not-spider-candy presents we chose for her, and the convenience store lady didn’t lunge over the counter and tear our souls out with her teeth. So bless you, Spider Bites candy, for just as the Polar Express movie would do so many years later, you brought us a holiday season filled with both whimsy and nightmare.

  54. As much as I enjoy the videos already anyway, this was some next level shizz… I’m in awe.

  55. Your sideburns are bleeding in this video, Matt. I think you made my life. That is all.

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