Play-Doh Valentines Bag!
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and with it, tons of new candies and novelties in shades that fall somewhere between bubble gum pink and horse blood red. I normally don’t pay too close attention to these things, but the 2013 haul is pretty interesting. I’ll cover a few of my finds between now and whenever Valentine’s Day is. Let’s start with Play-Doh.
Play-Doh’s “Valentines Bag” puts a spin on the traditional goofy cards that kids trade in school. This Valentine’s Day, they can instead give each other tiny Play-Doh canisters with impossibly tight lids that I absolutely needed to use my teeth to pry off! I suffered more than a $5 CVS bill for this, believe me.
You get fifteen cans in a mix of four colors, including red, magenta, white and lilac. The set also includes a sticker sheet, so you can do the to-and-from thing on each lid.
My impulse was to make fun of the concept of kids trading small bits of Play-Doh, but is that really any worse than trading pieces of cardboard starring cartoon characters who offer romantically neutral tidings? If I tripped you up with the awkward wording, the answer is NO.
In fact, in the Plain Jane pit of despair that is the annual elementary school valentine swap, little tubs of Play-Doh might be the best things there.
But the lids really are hard to pop off. I suppose that helps keep things fresh, but you need to employ Hulk rage if you ever want to get at the Play-Doh. Were I to learn that a Play-Doh factory manager decided to pass a lid mishap off as something intentional for the sake of his agents’ jobs, I’d say something like, “You know, I had a feeling it was something like that.” Then I’d grow wings and fly to Jupiter, because only in imaginary scenarios can I do that.
Creative bankruptcy is no foreign concept to me, and so I made yet another strange monster. He looks like a Pac-Man ghost who woke up covered in Doritos and octopus. I see the spots as some form of disease, in a nod to the fact that any creature made from Play-Doh exists on borrowed time.
His name is Hearterra. He wants to kiss like lovers do.
UPDATE: Superstar reader Pete C. sent in what’s assuredly destined to be the only Hearterra fan art ever created:
Thank you, Pete!
“Lovers” is absolutely the worst of all words. I was enjoying the crap out of this post until I got to the last line.
Wow, you did a really good job on Hearterra. It almost looks like a plush toy.
Does he want to want to dive into your ocean?
You can’t do much with such a tiny amount of Play-Doh. I suspect most kids would resort to throwing it at each other’s faces. Or eating it.
On a bit of an aside, I didn’t know kids were still allowed to do V-Day related things at school. I thought schools were No Fun Zones. Then again, I guess they wouldn’t put out massive amounts of kid-themed Valentine cards if kids didn’t still use them.
There is an ad for a dildo on this page. That made the article sooooo much better
That is a fantastic creation.
Also, I would like to vote “horse blood red” into the Crayola box.
I would have loved to get a little tub of Play-Doh instead of a card, back in the day. Kids these days don’t realize how good they have it.
Hearterra looks great! If he was a toy, I would own one.
Ahh Valentine’s Day, one of Matt’s frequently forgotten occasions – that and Easter. Always awesome to see a post or two dedicated to both of them. ( And we know how much Matt hates Easter!)
I think I would have liked something like this, even if there is only about a tablespoon of Play-Doh in it.
There was another “food graveyard” article on AOL today. I always find these things interesting.
http://tinyurl.com/bx54c56
As someone who sits around thinking up supervillain/monster names, “Hearterra” is fantastic.
King JLA: I don’t know what’s better. The link, or the fact that it’s from AOL. I didn’t know anyone still went there! The link is good but Matt has to be one of the first people to do the “dead foo/soda/snack” thing.
I would have rather gotten Play Doh than a card when I was a kid, too. I would have rather gotten candy than Play Doh, though. Sure, you can eat Play Doh, I guess, but I prefer candy.
I’ve come to the conclusion over the years that Matt is a Eurhythmics fan. Who’d have a mind to disagree?
@Dana I got an ad for asian dates — all strangely online at this very moment even though they all reside at a place where it’s the middle of the night. Put our two ads together, and Matt’s blog takes on a whole new and hopefully unexpected light.
“Love” and “Valentines” have to be the trigger for that. I’d like to say Matt might choose his words more carefully, but I suspect this means he’ll start littering them everywhere to see what happens …
some hilarious and disturbing valentines from the 20′s
There were some great prime time cartoon TV specials about Valentines Day and Easter. Peanuts and Garfield spring to mind. There’s all kinds of pop culture detritus around these holidays, and I’d love it if Matt covered it.
Hearterra is adorable Matt! I like how he’s made out of all these super cutesy girly Valentine’s colors but he’s definitely a boy and no one is going to second guess him even with the lavender tentacles. You did a really great job on this little beastie. He’s definitely in my top 3.
I was never a huge fan of Valentine’s Day as a kid. I mean I liked getting the little cards and reading them like 10 times and shuffling through them for a few days but beyond that I had no interest. Now getting Play-Doh instead of a lame card of those really vile heart lollipops OMG YES! I wish they had that back in the day. Teachers probably hate the heck of it though… I just picture little ground in bits of pink and purple all over the classroom floor!
The one thing I DID love though was making these little heart baskets you could weave out of construction paper. Heck I still teach kids how to make them just because it’s pretty nifty to be able to weave paper into a little basket! I was so into it that the last year I made one for school I practically had to use tweezers to weave the thing. Did anyone else make these as a kid? http://www.vintageimagecraft.com/heart_basket.html
Hearterra is very cool, considering that he has that strange alien disease.
If I got a play doh valentine I would be supremely happy. For reals.
First of all, I will agree that a getting a container of Play Doh for Valentine’s Day would be infinitely preferable to some rectangle of cardboard with a popular character printed on it.
Second, Matt, I love how creative you can be with just a bagful of tiny Play Doh containers. Hearterra is one of your better creations.
Hearterra effing rules. BOOM. End of story.