What’s the weirdest thing in your wallet?
I’ll never turn down the chance to go through someone’s wallet. It doesn’t matter if I like the person, hate the person or even really know the person. I just want to see what’s in there, and make a totally unfair analysis of the wallet’s owner based on its contents.
I don’t think this is exclusive to me. We’re all voyeurs.
A few nights ago on Dino Drac’s Facebook page, I asked everyone to describe the weirdest things in their wallets. Satisfied with the answers but really wanting to see the goods, I then made a formal request for photos and explanations.
Twenty-two of you complied, with a barrage of oddities ranging from flattened souvenir pennies to what looks like drugs but are actually beans. Below are the results. (I won’t be participating, as I’ve already described my wallet contents in this post.)
Just a note: I blocked out some names/photos even if I wasn’t directed to, imagining that there may come a time when someone might not wish to be immortalized so publicly. If you see a big red rectangle on your photo, I only did it out of love.
A big thanks to our 22 guinea pigs! Let’s see what makes them tick…
From Crystal:
“The weirdest thing in my wallet is my dad’s old business card he used when he was a middle eastern sword dancer called ‘Antar’ in Philadelphia. It all started in 1979 when my dad met my mom. She was a middle eastern dancer at the time, and he started to go to gigs with her. He learned some routines and started dancing with my mom. Eventually he got solo gigs sword dancing at clubs, and had business cards made.”
From Jason S.:
“This is a movie ticket stub for the 10pm showing of Mars Attacks from December 30, 1996. I’ve kept in my wallet(s) over the years for no reason that I can think of other than to see how long I can keep it in my wallet.”
From the incomparable Mystie:
“I can’t decide which one of these is weirder, but the top one has a better back story. It’s a card-sized copy of my high school diploma. I have these recurring dreams that I never graduated high school. In some of them I’m balancing high school and work, but in others I can’t remember if I graduated or not, so I just keep going back and taking classes year after year. I keep the card in my wallet to remind myself that I did, in fact, graduate.
The other is a magic ‘cheap date’ card I got from my doctor’s office. It lets me lean on restaurants so they’ll let me order off the kids menu since most of my stomach was removed. It gives me the perfect excuse to order chicken fingers, save a bunch of cash, and make it look like I’m giving a bigger tip.”
From pureval:
“The weirdest thing in my wallet is a collection of tokens from various arcades. Whenever I go to an arcade I try to snag a token for luck. The first one is a Bullwinkle token I found at a gas station. Then a Chuck E. Cheese token from the last time I took my son. The third is from Funspot, the largest arcade in the world; that is from the day I hit my first ever jackpot on a ticket machine. Fourth is from an arcade that sprang up at my local mall last year and disappeared 3 months later. Finally one from a bowling alley that was torn down a while ago.”
From Geoff B.:
“A very feminine looking picture of me drawn by a former girlfriend at a sushi restaurant when I lived in South Korea in 2009. Why I still carry this around with me is beyond me.”
From RudyEats:
“My Medieval Times reward card.”
From Jugendsehnsucht:
“I suppose the most out-of-the-ordinary object currently in my wallet would be a 1965 one ruble Soviet coin commemorating the 20th anniversary of ‘Victory over fascist Germany’. One side has an image of the WWII memorial statue in Treptower Park, which consists of a soldier holding an orphan with one hand and destroying a swastika with a comically huge sword in his other hand. A nifty looking thing, it’s even got the date and denomination printed in tiny letters running along the outside edge. Not sure why I put it there in the first place, but I’ve had it in my wallet for around a decade now.”
From Joel P.:
“It’s a tiny baggie with 7 black-eyed peas in it. It was given to me at New Year’s, and I was told that if I kept it on me for the whole year, it’s supposed to bring good luck. 7 peas for 7 days of the week. It appears that at least half of the peas have already been crushed, so I’m thinking not so much luck for at least half of every week.”
From Travis A.:
“Out of all the odd stuff I keep in my wallet, my favorite has to be my cannibal survival kit bandage from a Cannibal Ferox VHS I bought years ago. It keeps me safe in this green inferno that is Tampa, FL.”
From David U.:
“I wish I had a better story for this. A guy at work found out I like the Jets so he gave me this football card. I stuck it in my wallet and then completely forgot about it until your Facebook post. If you want to jazz things up I’ll claim that a gypsy put a curse on it and that’s why the Jets had such a horrible season this year.”
From raptorface:
“I started keeping this plastic longneck dinosaur in my wallet back when I was about 18, because I love dinosaurs. Plus I am an anxious person and it was nice to have something to fidget with in my hands. I am 24 now and I feel like it would be a crime to go anywhere without him.”
From Mandy K.:
“All three of these are from my stint in the backroom at an indie bookstore. The top one is an elephant head from a damaged children’s pop-up book that fell out as I was returning it. His shocked expression was far too endearing to just throw him in the trash. The bottom left one is a Little Caesars Pizza temporary tattoo that a coworker of mine found and gave me to ‘keep forever’. The bottom right one is a business card I found stuffed in a used book for a different bookstore many many miles from ours. The awesome name of the store combined with my love of Wukong from Chinese folklore made this a keeper.”
From Jim J.:
“This is a picture of my Alltendo Game Rentals ID card from 1990 when I was 8 years old. Every kid in the area rented console games from this place, and Charlie the owner was infamously crude. The last time I was in there was at the end 1998 when I overheard a conversation between him and a shady individual. ‘Everyone thinks I know all the secrets of Ocarina of Time. Hey – where’s the princess’ panties? Well kid it’s on my dresser because I fucked her last night.’ The place closed down shortly afterwards, and the word on the street was that he had been selling drugs out of that store for a while and it finally caught up to him.”
From Big McLargehuge:
“Here is a photo of the Alaska coin I carry around in my wallet. Got it as a free gift from some shop at an unknown port of call whilst on an Alaskan cruise. I carry it around just in case I need to flip a coin, as there is no threat of me spending it on anything.”
From Kelly:
“The weirdest thing in my wallet is a stamped penny from Gatorland in Orlando, FL. I made this during vacation on April 26, 2010. My husband and I love visiting old tourist attractions and buying weird or old-style souvenirs. In these and all areas, Gatorland does not disappoint. After we returned home, I apparently didn’t know what to do with this tiny souvenir, so it has stayed in my wallet for three years. I consider it a good luck charm. For no reason.”
From Sean M.:
“My oddity is my wallet. It is a chip clip from the dollar store.”
From Cesar L.:
“I have a $50 dollar Jamaican bill in my wallet. I’ve never been to Jamaica. Somehow I have a dream that if I ever needed to leave the country fast, I could go to Jamaica and start over. Of course, it’s probably only worth a single chicken egg there, but I can dream.”
From Dino Drac designer, Jason Week:
“Think you hit a nerve with this one. Love my wallet stuff.”
From Dan:
“This is from my Halloween costume a few years back. I was Fry from Futurama, and in case you don’t watch the show, it’s a pizza delivery prank. And actually, it was Cliff who wrote it for me — the dude who helped with the site coding. He’s my brother-in-law. That note has been in my wallet ever since and it makes every day just a little brighter, knowing it’s there.”
From Stephen S.:
“In my wallet is a slip of paper with the cryptic message Auth. # A046375901. I have no memory of what this actually authorizes, but if the world ends in nuclear war you know who to blame. Upon further inspection I see a test code number and that I was supposed to drink SOMETHING on January 15. The plot thickens… (Matrix?)”
From Tyler:
“My old college ID card from 7-8 years ago…it’s only weird because I use it nowadays to scare myself into getting a haircut when I think I can put it off a while longer.”
From Ben S.:
“I have an endless supply of these $.25 bus tickets, they really are not good for anything at all but I can’t bear to part with them in case I ever need them.”
(NOTE: This is a bonus #23, because I’m an idiot who missed an e-mail.)
From Brian H.:
“Most odd thing in my wallet? Upon closer inspection there was a lot of weird stuff in there. I narrowed it down to a vinyl Krang and an Auntie Anne’s combo card that expired in 2003. I was working at a Steve & Barry’s store at the former Cincinnati Mills mall at the time and loved the almond pretzel/Cherry Coke combination on my lunch break. Not sure why I still have the weathered card a decade later! Disregard the various bric-a-brac in the background including Great Pumpkin and Transformers stickers, a fortune from a cookie that reads in broken English ‘Good thing are being said about you’, a piece of napkin from Giordano’s Pizzeria, a paint chip from my childhood putt-putt golf spot, gold confetti from a Rocket Summer concert, etc.”
Thanks again to everyone who participated! I’ll try to think up some other weirdo challenges for you in the weeks to come.
Dang, fun article, I really should have participated. I felt like I had nothing “worthy” in my wallet, but turns out maybe I did. Next time.
I could use one of those tiny high school graduation cards for my dreams. I always dream I haven’t graduated high school or that it’s the last day.
This is fantastic.
I used to have one of those “diploma cards” but it got lost a long time ago. And I’ve had those dreams too. I hate them.
I don’t have anything weird in my wallet, but I wish I did.
I have that same dream…
It makes me very happy to know I’m not the only one who has the recurring dream of not having graduated high school, right down to the balancing work and school. I blame it on the fact that I re-took a year and things got mixed up in my head.
Having seen these contributions, I am now so glad I didn’t submit a photo of the oddest contents of my wallet. These all seem so wholesome and quirky and sentimental. Even in the hidden recesses of their lives, your readers are such gentle, nostalgic people.
I am very glad to know that I have a lot of company in the “didn’t graduate” dream. It’s pretty much the only recurring nightmare I ever have — it’s about 50/50 between college and high school, although just once in a while middle school turns up. When I wake up, I usually start laughing, because the dream always involves my friends also not having graduated. The sight of a dozen or more 30-somethings trying to fit into middle school desks, walking around 8th graders, and wondering what the hell happened to their school records is pretty hilarious when you’re not caught up in the dream.
Books, cards, gifts, antique ties.. I want that card.
“tiny baggie with 7 black-eyed peas in it” – come on we all know that’s a 8-ball of coke.
Damn I missed out! I’m sure I could have brought something to this. Oh well next time.
Awesome stuff everyone!
This is among my favorite things that you’ve ever done, Matt! Very strange indeed.
Also, I did not know DinoDrac had a Facebook page. Now I do.
Awesome! Love seeing my contribution to this ‘event’. That was really fun to read.
I also always have the ‘did not/will not graduate’ dream. It scares me in the moment, but I wake up thinking ‘wtf was that about’. Maybe I should talk to a shrink.
shoot! I forgot to look for a business card I had from a now defunct indy pro wrestler. I was interested in becoming a valet/manager type of gimmick….this was 16 years ago mind you…so I was smoking HAWT and 19. After talking to the head of the promotion…It seemed shady. I was supposed to be a nurse for a guy named DR. Hurtz or a Cheerleader gimmick for someone else or a goth chick for a guy named Lucifer Grimm
How did I not know about this?!
I thought mine wouldn’t be weird enough to make the cut. I was thinking people were keeping like severed fingers or something in their wallets.
Man, I’m sorry I missed this, I have a bunch of junk in my wallet. One of my favorites is a fortune cookie fortune that says “Promote Literacy! Buy a box of fortune cookies today!”
Worse than “BE SURE TO DRINK YOUR OVALTINE”
My wallet has a clear window for my I.D. but I keep a Parasect card in it.
” Every kid in the area rented console games from this place, and Charlie the owner was infamously crude. The last time I was in there was at the end 1998 when I overheard a conversation between him and a shady individual. ‘Everyone thinks I know all the secrets of Ocarina of Time. Hey – where’s the princess’ panties? Well kid it’s on my dresser because I fucked her last night.”
ahhahaa I laughed till I cried
C’mon Dave, we all know that you’re secretly hiding a severed finger behind that Jets card ;P
The weirdest thing in my wallet right now is probably my lifetime membership card to the Girl Scouts…which, all things considered, isn’t all that weird.
So bummed! I sent in my photos a few nights ago and had been really looking forward to this post. I’m not sure if they didn’t reach their destination or overlooked. And I had some good stuff (including a vinyl Krang)!
Aw I hate that I missed this but it did inspire me to clean out my wallet. I found an old business card from Tom Cruise, inventor of the Hoveround. Met him in Florida around 2006. I should call him and sing that weird song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LArrn3yIXq0
I think the “weirdest” things in my wallet are a couple of gift cards that are at least a couple years old. I just can’t seem to have anyone want to take me to those places. At leas I got my own car now.
Speaking of souvenir coins, I recently went through an old change bank and discovered a red poker chip, an old Showbiz Pizza token, and a 1992 Ragbrai (a famous Iowa bike race) coin.
Brian/Review the World’s wallet contents were just added to the bottom. Somehow I missed them in Gmail. Sorry, Brian! Your wallet is great.
Man, I should’ve contributed to this, I would’ve shown off my Spencer’s Gifts/Game Show Network contest card from 2003.
It was awesome to be able to contribute!
Although mine is pretty boring compared to everyone else’s. You people rule.
None are boring! One reason I made this such a quick thing is to dissuade people from padding their wallets with extra stuff.
There’s a nice honesty to everyone’s treasures.
Glad mine made it in, I went thru Hell trying to send it.
I have a variation of the did not graduate dream. Mine is I am back in high school for some weird reason and I can not find out my schedule. I actually have several recurring dreams and they are starting to bug me.
I have that same ‘back in school with no schedule’ dream. I probably don’t want to know why.
I had a picture taken and post ready to submit, but changed my mind because I didn’t want to bum anyone out. But the strangest, and only non-credit card type thing in my wallet, is a piece of golden colored string. it was my sons. The nurses at the hospital put it, along with a heart pendant around his neck after he passed away. its something I will NEVER be without.
sorry for the bummer post, but I wanted to feel included!
This school fear brought up by Mystie and repeated by others is new to me; surprised it’s so common! (It was a miracle I graduated — I had to make up four gym credits the last week of school, and probably only did because some of the nicer school people understood that boys with pink and green hair were probably avoiding that class for their own safety.)
@Brian: Maybe it’s just an emotional day, but wow, immediate tear-in-the-eye. Thanks for sharing that, but it’s not strange at all.
It’s wonderful that you do that.
[b]Brian[/b]: Not only are the contents of your wallet awesome, but I love the wallet itself. How vintage is that bad boy?
@Jeff: Hey, thanks! It’s a Superman wallet I got at Media Play around 2002 or so. It’s been with me to Scotland, multiple Walt Disney World trips, etc. and although it’s beaten up I’m keeping it alive as long as possible. About six years ago or so my wife got me a brand new black Power Rangers wallet and I reluctantly moved everything over but it fell apart in record time, like, less than a week, so I happily moved all my crap back to good, trusty Supes.
@Tyler Is that Wright State? Near Dayton? If so I’m not far away from there and my buddy Tim who I do some YouTube stuff with graduated from that university (and me from Miami University about an hour south of there).
Ok, I had to add this. This card has been in my wallet for years. It’s a guy who claims he guides people recently deceased to portals to the next world.
When I talked to him in a Denny’s he kept looking over my shoulder. When I asked him what he was looking at he said there was a line of people waiting for him. I couldn’t see them. And he was talking to them too.
In a Dennys.
http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t201/veggiemacabre/b60ff17c-481a-4a65-8a89-9f98616f7863_zps25764d45.jpg
Rats. Guess nobody would have cared about my Photon league ID card, from back when Photon was a thing. I miss the arena, with the smoke and all. Hell yah I still carry it, never know when I might stumble across one of the couple of arenas left…
One of my favorite articles on the new site so far; this was a great idea.
From the “No, officer! I swear this isn’t what it looks like” bag of peas, to the world’s classiest money clip, to the Discordian Pope Card, these are all great. It’s a real struggle for me to choose a favorite, but I’ve got to go with the Cannibal Ferox band-aid. Definitely Umberto Lenzi’s sleaziest offering, and with a great soundtrack, too—which I just got for x-mas, actually.
@Steve Photon! I found a complete in box (previously opened) Photon set with ID card the Christmas prior to this one at an antique mall and got it for my brother as we’d got Photon as kids for X-Mas so it was like an instant time machine. One of the occasions that proved the old “giving is better than receiving” adage as that made my whole night.
You guys carry some damn interesting stuff in your wallets. Brian “Review the World” H had my favorite, but they’re all pretty cool.
Despite the joke I made about where I work on Facebook, I don’t really carry anything that neat in my wallet, but I do have a random backgammon chip in my purse. I found it on the street one day, dropped it in my purse, and have kept it there since. I call it my lucky piece.
This was an excellent idea and I had a lot of fun reading about everyone’s stuff!
I’ve totally been to Gatorland. It’s an amazing place and everyone needs to go at least once in their lives!
The most interesting things in my wallet are three of as of yet unidentified phone numbers, a temporary drivers license, and my estranged father’s business card.
Interesting story though, I went to buy beer last month, and the clerk at the gas station would not sell it to me because she absolutely refused to believe that a 23 year old would have temps in a Spongebob wallet.
Awesome article, Matt! It was a great idea on your part and it’s a testament to our great little community here that it came out as great as it did.
I used to have something that would have fit in well with this article. Back in the good old AOL days, I was a part of a dc Talk message board. Somehow or another, four of us formed a “clique,” which we called “The Clinically Insane.” We all had “code names” and stuff…pretty silly, but it was fun. Anyway, one of the members made us all membership cards and I carried mine in my wallet up until about two years ago, when I left my wallet in my pants and it got washed, destroying said card. :/
I’ve never had the “didn’t graduate high school” dream, but I do occasionally have a dream where I’m teaching (I was a teacher before I got sick) and I am completely unprepared. I know Muppet Baby is a teacher, too…do you ever have that dream? Any other teachers care to chime in?
“I thought mine wouldn’t be weird enough to make the cut. I was thinking people were keeping like severed fingers or something in their wallets.” -derdavenwarrior
John Jacob Jugendheimerschmidt has severed ears in his, but if he shared him here, that would make us all witnesses in court at the trial and this site/article would become “Evidence A.” He did us a favor by not sharing them, obviously
Happy Cupid day everyone. I’ve spent the day watching that Carnival cruise ship crawl slowly into port. I bet tickets will be pretty cheap next time that thing launches in April. I love cruise ships; and Matt’s old article about his ventures go great with the news today.
http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0963/
Classic.
Late contribution: My wallet contains a classic Magnemite Pokemon card. The original Magnemite from the Base Set released in ’99 or so. It was one of the first Pokemon cards I ever owned, so years later I decided to keep a copy on me, mostly for the sheer novelty of having a Magnemite Pokemon card on my person whenever I’m shopping.
My wallet is rather dull by comparison, mainly because I emptied it a while back. But I have had the wallet for nearly 20 years, the poppers don’t pop, the zip doesn’t zip, it’s water damaged and frayed, but I’m not giving it up. I’ve even got other wallets but I can’t part with it.
I also have a wallet dedicated to US travel. It has a long expired weeks pass for the San Jose light rail, 35 dollars and 8 pennies, 4 dimes, 3 quarters, 2 nickels.
Review the World:
It’s cool you found a vintage Photon set, I’ve always been keen on ‘light gun’ games and think the WoW Lazer Tag ‘Starlyte’ pistol is one of the best things in the world, but I’m talking about an actual I.D. card issued by a Photon arena (mine was gotten in Detroit) which was used to log you into tournament games, track your standings and all that nonsense. The official arena Photon gear was heavy as all f**k, based on a commercial video camera battery pack belt, a 10 pound helmet attached to the chest ‘computer’ pack, a big clunky industrial resin gun and GIANT cord…man that crap was hard to play in!
Funny thing I learned, the gun was actually a sensor, not an emitter. The helmet and chest pack contained the i/r emitter diodes and when you pulled the trigger the gun ‘looked’ and read the pulse code…blah blah blah. I don’t care, I miss the whole nonsense.
I don’t really have any unusual items in my wallet. I cleaned out my wallet last year so a lot of the debit cards and things like that I cut up and threw away.
Also, I have the high school dream too. It has taken on many variations. Right now the dreams I have is I am going back for the fun of it. I live still at home, and I am going back for another year. I am leaving the building because it’s the end of the day, and I realize I am a lot older then everybody else. So I very carefully try to leave before anybody notices I am there.
@Review the World
I wondered the same damn thing about Wright State! Nice to see some Dayton love up in here
I don’t have a pic, but mine’s gotta be a ticket good for five free rides from the Tulsa State Fair in 1999. My then-girlfriend and I were walking around when some sadistic shitheel carny who was running a Scrambler-type ride that was completely empty made us an offer we would soon come to regret.
He’d let us ride for free if we thought we could withstand the highest speed it would run. Not only that, but he promised us free passes for the rest of the day if we could do it with our hands up in the air the whole time. To a real badass like me this sounded like an offer we’d be stupid to walk away from. And I couldn’t look like no sissy in front of m’lady, y’know.
Well, true to his word, he cranks this thing up to roughly the speed of light and we did get our free passes after what seemed like about 20 minutes of this goddamn ride… but what he didn’t tell us was that they were only good for five rides, not everything all day. And it didn’t matter anyway, as our day of fun effectively ended after that. We managed not to puke somehow, but spent the remainder of the day so sick and dizzy that we just found a spot on the grass and laid there for a good hour or more.
One day I’ll go back and make those fuckers give me my five free rides.
I totally missed this one, but I have a good “thing that USED to be in my wallet” story.
So I used to be in a punk band called The Jimmy Hoffa All-Stars, back in around 1997 or so. We had a show coming up, so one of the other guys in the band and I went to some downtown Sacramento park area to hand out flyers for the gig at some outdoor event that was going on some weekend. Apparently Pauly Shore was also doing a show in town at the same time, because he happened to come by us handing out flyers, flanked by his entire entourage (about five other dudes, one of whom had a Handicam and was videotaping everything).
Pauly walked straight up to us, took a flyer, looked at it, did the little “weasel” hand gesture to our faces (you know, that wiggly finger thing he did), handed the flyer to one of his minions, and right in front of us, had the minion autograph Pauly’s name FOR HIM, and then handed it back to us. All without saying a word. During this entire thing, the camera guy was zooming the thing in and out of our faces, as we stood there pretty dumbstruck. Satisfied, he and his little group then walked off somewhere else, leaving us with a fake autograph that we didn’t even ask for or care about.
I was never a big Pauly Shore fan, and this didn’t do much to elevate him in my opinion, but it was pretty weird all the same, and I immediately stuffed it in my wallet, where it held a place of honor, just because it was such a strange story.
A few years later, I went and saw Tiffany (yes, THAT Tiffany) perform at a county fair with a crowd of about 60 other people. After the show (at which she did a HARD ROCKIN’ version of “I Think We’re Alone Now” updated for the 2000s), she signed autographs, and having nothing else I could think of on hand, I pulled out the fake Pauly Shore-autographed flyer and had her sign it.
Then I carried that around for awhile, but eventually the thing just disintegrated, and that’s why it’s not in my wallet anymore, so I couldn’t have even put a picture up of it had I caught this whole deal on time.
And that’s it.
The mid evil sword dancing card wins.
All I could find that most people wouldn’t have was my card saying I can serve liquor in the state of Washington.
Matt, I am not on facebook. Could you also post these on twitter? If you did, I could have missed it; these past few days at work have been crazy! Great article. I’m off to go explore the many folds of my wallet.
Definitely, Mary.
This was just a quickie. The bigger “events” always get promoted where I’m able to hammer keys. I will probably do one that’s just for Twitter later, too. (I save the big ones for special occasions because if the entries get too high, the posts take forever to put together!)
Dude the guy with the mini-diploma… I have the same exact dreams all the time.
I also live in Pennsylvania and had surgery on my digestive system.
We’re kindred spirits.
I love Sean M’s wallet
I have no wallet because I just carry coins with me.
A menu for a Turkish fast food restaurant in Slovakia. I’ve worked here for the last 2 years and have had many a Kebab and Pizza from the place. It’s in 1989 hot neon yellow, which I know is Dinodrac/X-E approved.
i think it’s odd they give a video rental card to a 9 year old