Dinosaur Dracula!

The Purple Stuff Podcast: Episode 8!

What a perfect night! Noisy crickets, the occasional howling wind, and even a few stray creaks that I’ve decided to attribute to ghosts. We’re days away from October, and I never want this feeling to stop.

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If you’re not quite so filled with Halloween spirit, maybe tonight’s Purple Stuff Podcast can help! This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit take turns pitching the perfect spooky songs for your Halloween playlists.

I’d normally balk at an hourlong music conversation, but “Halloween” is one of the few “genres” that I’m crazy into. Actually, the hardest part was limiting our podcast playlist to a scant thirteen songs!

(PS: Some of Jay’s picks might be new to you, but all of mine are already on the site’s Halloween Jukebox… which you can find on the lower-right of this page. I also gotta send much love to Leopardactyl for crafting us a killer new Purple Stuff opening theme! Love it!)

Give us a listen on the player below, or access the MP3 directly over here. Weekly reminder: We’re also on iTunes and Stitcher.

Wait, wait! Read More…

Goosebumps Shake at Johnny Rockets!

I pride myself on being on top of the many nutty Halloween food promotions, but every now and again, I’m thrown a delicious curveball.

Earlier today, someone from Twitter informed me that there was a special Goosebumps Shake, and I’ll repeat that in all caps, GOOSEBUMPS SHAKE, at participating Johnny Rockets restaurants. (…to promote the upcoming movie, which looks phenomenal.)

I absolutely flew there, propelled as if by supernatural means. Three red light cameras are now spreading photos of my junky car.

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The nearest Johnny Rockets was over in Jersey, which, considering bridge tolls, raised the price of my shake from $5.99 to $17.74. Wonderful!

Until today, I’d actually never been inside a Johnny Rockets restaurant. Too much movement and too many bright lights. To me it seemed like the savage marriage of a discotheque and a dentist’s office. No amount of hamburgers could make me put up with that, but the promise of an official GOOSEBUMPS SHAKE did the trick. Read More…

Halloween Cereals from the 1990s!

Unforgettable yet somehow forgotten, the Halloween cereals of the late ‘90s were THINGS TO BEHOLD. With amateur digital photography and word-of-mouth internet advertising still in their collective infancy, the goal — unlike with so many of today’s spooky foodstuffs — had nothing to do with “getting people talking.”

Instead, the spooky cereals of that era had an arguably more genuine charm. They were Halloweeny in the most on-the-nose sorts of ways, and given the design trends of the time, they all came in positively gaudy boxes. Love it!

Collected below are four Halloween cereals from the very late ‘90s. Some of these boxes are extraordinarily rare, and I’m just the type of idiot who will take great pride putting the first photos of them online. Course, when someone at Buzzfeed steals ‘em next month, that pride will turn to piss.

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Kellogg’s Monster (Corn) Pops!

Did I say late ‘90s? Whoops — these are actually from 2000. Let’s assume that all of my prior points still hold. (They do.)

I’ve already written about 2001’s Candy Corn Pops, which came in one of the coolest cereal boxes from any era. Now that I’ve found this version, I dunno… I think I might like it even better.

The front of the Monster Pops box positively begs to become a six foot poster. Many of us have openly pleaded with General Mills to add a rights-skirting spin on Gill-man to their Monster Cereals lineup, but back in 2000, Kellogg’s came pretty close on their own! (We never found out exactly who that green paw belonged to, but come on… it had to be the Creature from the Black Lagoon.)

While the cereal resembled candy corn, I don’t believe it was actually meant to taste like it. I’m thinking this was some weird lemon/orange concoction. Edible Pledge. Read More…

Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 10!

It’s the first day of autumn! (Or the second, depending on when you read this.)

What better way to celebrate than with another edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, featuring all sorts of eerie ads from the ‘80s and ‘90s? (I mean besides a cool walk under moonlight scored by the sweet sounds of Ministry.)

The first four commercials were donated by Larry P., friend to fiends. The last one’s from me.

a5Bartz Displays Halloween Sale! (1982)

Oh boy. Before you skip this one on account of the not-so-catchy title, know that it’s easily in the top five Halloween commercials that I’ve ever featured on Dino Drac. No, I’m not overselling it. Just click play.

The commercial, which plays out like a fever dream from an Alan Ball drama, promotes the big Halloween sale at Bartz Displays. Chiefly featuring Bartz’s costume collection, we intrude on balls-out bizarre Halloween party, where dozens of weirdos in wildly disparate disguises bop around a dark, dank parallel dimension.

Since gory and monstrous costumes were there in such volume, it’s oddly the squeaky clean ones that’ll make you shiver. Watch this commercial, and then tell me you weren’t just a wee bit unsettled by Donald Duck and Yoda. Holy shit, this one would’ve been nightmare fuel even without the ersatz Madd Matt on voice-over duty. Read More…