Welcome to the twentieth edition of Five Random Action Figures, which marks a milestone that you’ll doubtlessly see mentioned on the front pages of tomorrow’s papers.

Yes, by the end of this post, I’ll have photographed and reviewed one hundred action figures!

These articles have never been my most popular, but they’ve certainly been the most dependable, and in deference to my whole web career — nyuk nyuk — being built on piles of old toys, Five Random Action Figures will remain a part of Dinosaur Dracula for however long there is a Dinosaur Dracula.

To celebrate this HISTORIC occasion, I made sure to select five figures that could all be construed as haymakers. Enjoy!

Big Boss
COPS ‘N Crooks, 1988

By the time I picked up my first COPS figure, the cartoon was already off the air, and the only place to find the toys was Lionel Kiddie City — at dramatically reduced prices, with big ugly clearance stickers all over the packages.

By then, the pickings were slim. Kiddie City had multiples of Louie and Dr. Badvibes, but almost no one else. It wasn’t until looking at the cardbacks on those “lesser” figures that I realized my folly. I should’ve been collecting this line from the very start, because BIG. BOSS. WAS. AMAZ. ING.

Look at this guy! I always favored the villains, but I especially favored the villains who looked like they ordered people around from leather thrones, eating grapes while being frond-fanned by robots.

As I’ve mentioned before, all of my “major” bad guy figures acted like mob bosses, sharing total control over everything that happened on my bedroom floor. If Boba Fett wanted to go for a spin in the Cobra BUGG, he needed to clear it with Mumm-Ra and Jabba first. If they disagreed, that red-and-black guy from Visionaries was the tiebreaker.

Big Boss, with his Kingpin build, Armani suit and Destro hand, would’ve fit right in. Oh, what could’ve been! Read More…

By now, I suppose most folks know that Doc Louis wasn’t kidding: The Nintendo Fun Club was a real, actual thing that happened.

Here’s the proof, and yes, I was a member:

The Nintendo Fun Club — founded in 1987 — is chiefly remembered for Nintendo Fun Club News, a tip-filled magazine that both predated Nintendo Power and directly led to its formation.

The Fun Club was free to join (at the beginning, at least), and anyone who did found instant camaraderie with all other subscribers. In grade school, those of us with Fun Club subscriptions formed a sort of secondary club of our own. We’d carry the magazines to school and wave them around during recess, as if to say, “Look, look! I’m cool for another month!”

(And we were.) Read More…

Once again, bad weather almost ruined the flea market. I love storms, but I really wish they’d stop focusing their efforts on Saturday mornings. Mother Nature just has no regard for me needing old Ninja Turtles.

Still, even a bad flea market will give milk if you keep squeezing its teats. The rain kept all but 20% of Englishtown’s usual vendors at home, but I wasn’t giving up until I’d filled at least four old ShopRite bags with dirty nonsense.

By the time I present my finds to you, all they really amount to are “things.” You always miss the best part. You miss the hunt.

The hunt is why I keep doing this. Well, that and the fact that there’s nothing easier to write about than flea market finds. I’m essentially a catalog copywriter, but instead of L.L. Bean jackets, I’m hocking broken action figures and the occasional Popple.

Really though, it’s all about the hunt, and that special groinal stir every time I make a successful one. Whenever I find something worth buying, it’s akin to a paleontologist digging up a tyrannosaur toe. There are worthless haystacks everywhere, but once you find that needle, hello touchdown dance.

Anyway, I got some good stuff:

Real Ghostbusters Collector’s Case!
Price: $5

SWEET, and cheap to boot! The Real Ghostbusters Collector’s Case was allegedly capable of housing one dozen RGB figures, but that was only true if you had Ray, Peter, Winston and then 9 Egons. The ghost figures — particularly those from the first wave — were far too bulky to fit right.

On the other hand, that wasn’t such a big deal. Most kids tossed the plastic trays and just jammed in as many figures as they could, sardine-style. Alternatively, we’d use them as briefcases, carting around useless piles of construction paper and swearing they were private.

Love the artwork on this one, which evokes everything from Ecto-Plazm to a parallel universe wherein Ray Stantz is sunburned and dressed like a banana. Read More…