It’s time for Volume 6 of Classic Creepy Commercials, and wowza, what a great batch this is! Just a perfect mix of Halloween nostalgia and absurd spookiness, along with at least one instance of Troll dolls shooting missiles at each other. Maybe two.

I’m giving you six ads this time. The first three come from our hero, Larry P, whose collection of spooky commercials never fails to thrill us. The second three come from my buddy Spencer, who so generously dived into his own archive to add to the pile. Thanks, guys!

Meineke “Monsters” Commercial! (1988)

The best thing about this Meineke commercial is that it has absolutely no reason to include monsters. They don’t tie in with any weirdly-named promotions, or even a tagline. They’re just there. Thank God!

Meineke’s countless ads made me aware of mufflers long before I had any idea what purpose they served. It’s hard to believe that any kid would pay attention to a muffler commercial, but Meineke’s were pretty memorable. And sometimes strange. The ads never reached a Geico-level of irreverence, but the people who made them clearly had bigger aspirations. You don’t put movie quality monsters in a muffler commercial unless you’re dreaming of the big leagues.

Our monsters include the Invisible Man and a seriously bitchin’ mummy. (The mummy is so top notch that I must’ve been slightly afraid of this commercial back in ‘88.) Because they were interested in buying mufflers, we must assume that these monsters drove cars. Not such a stretch in the Invisible Man’s case, but just imagine that mummy cruising down the interstate, bopping his head to Belinda Carlisle. Read More…

So as a matter of full disclosure, I know that only 2% of you are at all interested in reading about a Kid Cuisine microwave dinner — even if is Halloween themed. Still, I do the Halloween Countdown as much for me as for you, and I cannot tell a lie: I’m super excited about this.

Even if I don’t eat Kid Cuisines, I’m such a fan of the concept. If I was the right age, and if my parents had loose rules on what I was allowed to swallow, I’d be all over them. They aren’t fundamentally different from what people imagine as a classic “TV dinner,” but with clever food shapes, colorful boxes and a long string of ties to kid-targeted movies and TV shows, Kid Cuisine lives up to its name.

I first noticed the Halloween editions back in 2003, and have been tracking them ever since. ConAgra doesn’t make them every year (the last time I saw them was in 2011), but whenever they do pop up, I can’t resist buying one. Maybe I wouldn’t if I didn’t have a dumb blog to showcase them on, but hey, that’s why I run Dinosaur Dracula. It’s my excuse to enjoy things that aren’t meant for me. Read More…

October is here, and you know what that means. MOOD TABLE TIME.

This is a yearly tradition that many of you are aware of, but for the few that aren’t, I’ll explain.

I’ve been running the Halloween Countdown since 2003. The only Countdown that I fouled up was in 2007, owing to real life issues that made blogging about Halloween candy the lowest possible priority. In effect, my Halloween spirit was shot.

…but then I discovered a way to get it back.

THE HALLOWEEN MOOD TABLE!

What’s a Halloween Mood Table, you ask? It can be a small end table, or a larger coffee table, or a desk, or hell, even a chair. The idea is that you’ll saturate “some surface” with Halloween junk, and put it somewhere that you’re guaranteed to see it often. You could call it a “shrine to Halloween.”

What you put on it is totally up to you. You could mix pumpkins with random horror toys and a bowl of candy. Or you could add a dozen candles and hope you don’t burn the whole city down. Whatever!

There is no wrong way to do a Halloween Mood Table. My first one looked like this, and my last one looked like this. Yours might only have a few things on it, or it could have a hundred things on it. It’s a fun little art project, sure, but the point is that you’ll have an “area of focus” to keep your Halloween spirit in check.

You’ll be surprised at how effective it is! Last year’s Mood Table article went semi-viral, and dozens of folks posted photos of their own versions. Many confirmed what I’ve been saying all along: It’s fun to make and it’s cool to look at, but the Halloween Mood Table really does make Halloween feel like Halloween… even when everything else in your life doesn’t.

I specifically save this exercise for October 1st, and with good reason. If you’re like me, you’ve already spent a month “Halloweening.” You’ve been to all of the stores, you’ve seen all of the movies, you’ve eaten all of the candy. The problem is that you haven’t saved much for October. Sure, things will pick up in the final week, but what about NOW?

THIS is the solution.

So, without further ado, I proudly present Dino Drac’s 2014 Halloween Mood Table!

I started with one of those barely-standing, tile-topped tables that I’ve been using for almost ten years now. This is my canvas.

I knew I’d never top the insanity of last year’s Mood Table, and I wasn’t about to try. And besides, since our whole apartment is currently overflowing with Halloween stuff, I didn’t see much point in localizing everything to one corner of the living room.

Instead, I tried something different — and something I’ve been wanting to do for a while. This year, my Halloween Mood Table would have all of its usual bells and whistles, but it would also serve a very specific purpose. Read More…