Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Six Popsicles from the Year 2000.

    I’ve been absent for a while, busy with work, and even busier navigating the mountains of snow on the way to work. 2014 wasted no time in turning me into someone who thinks winter should be illegal. I picture a snowman on the witness stand, melting under the stress of hard questions. Unr

  • SpongeBob SquarePants Kid Cuisine!

    Like I was going to pass up a SpongeBob-shaped chicken nugget. Two things I hadn’t thought about in a while: SpongeBob and Kid Cuisine. Renewed awareness could have only come from mixing the two together. I can’t remember the last time Kid Cuisine did something so heavily thematic, and

  • I bought dinner from Master Wok.

    I’m not sure if Master Wok is part of a chain. Google reveals thirty thousand restaurants using the same name, but the logos are pretty inconsistent. I wouldn’t presume that the “Tony’s Pizza” in Philly is run by the same guy who owns the “Tony’s Pizza” three blocks away. I

  • Five drinks that should not be in my fridge.

    Refrigerators are private places. Intimate places. It’s hard to let strangers peek inside. I don’t want to be judged. I don’t want people to see Tupperwares full of sludge, and forever associate me with Tupperwares full of sludge. I don’t want people to know how much I like Lau

  • Deadsites: Hot Topic, Circa 1998!

    That was the store for “posers,” or so the laws written by the weirdos higher up on the food chain dictated. What an idiotic protest. As if buying the same goofy shit from other stores made us any better? I think we were just mad that a shopping mall chain pegged us so accurately.

  • The Toys in Adam Goldberg’s Bedroom!

    If you’re anywhere near my age, there's no way that you didn’t have a few of the things seen in Adam’s bedroom. No chance, no how. It was like the showroom version of the 1987 Sears Wish Book. I don’t know if they borrowed some super-collector’s stuff or actually hunted everythin

  • Another batch of old comic book ads!

    It’s been a long time since Dino Drac’s last Comic Book Ads review, and even longer since I dived into my specific favorite type of them: The tiny-sized ads that were all mashed together on the classifieds pages. That’s where the real treasures were! Fifty antique coins for a dollar

  • Ecto Cooler Twinkies?!

    Was there such a thing as Ecto Cooler Twinkies? Well, NO, but bear with me. Old news: Ecto Cooler was the Slimer-fronted Hi-C flavor, made to capitalize on the popularity of The Real Ghostbusters. The flavor overachieved, and Slimer seemed to remain on those boxes even after his superstar

  • The Best 99 Cent Store EVER.

    We spent New Year’s Eve in Atlantic City, with The Sexy Armpit’s Jay and his girlfriend Corinne. All I really remember is punching balloons and getting my ass handed to me at three card poker. And walking past some guy that I swore was Johnny Torrio from Boardwalk Empire, even if, in m

  • Toys I owned on 5/27/98.

    Back in 1998, I was definitely a collector. I’d been a collector for years by then, but you know how it is when you’re a careless kid and everything else goes to shit. You focus on your happy hobbies and pretend it’s okay to ignore everything else. In 1998, I was in DEEP.

  • 29 real world toys in Jingle All the Way!

    If you’re smart, you’ll watch Jingle All the Way at least once before Christmas. Arnold Schwarzenegger battling Sinbad for 1996’s hottest toy, all so he could make little Anakin Skywalker think he was a good dad? Uh, YES. The ludicrous but lovable film was stupid in all the

  • Christmas Fallout, 2013.

    Christmas Eve was spent with my family; Christmas with Ms. X’s. When we got home last night, I professed my desire to continue partying, just moments before falling unconscious for a literal half-day. When I woke up this morning, it was with the knowledge that Campari, eggnog and Patron

  • Merry Christmas, from Dinosaur Dracula!

    Today was nuts. We made a hundred stuffed mushrooms, and when I say “a hundred,” I don’t mean “a pile that looked like a hundred but was actually thirty.” I mean a literal HUNDRED stuffed mushrooms. I haven't chopped that much parsley since I needed hair for my life-sized edible

  • Video: Sugar Cookie Pebbles Cereal!

    The 2013 Christmas season hasn’t been especially hot for weird food, but if you look hard enough, there are a few big time players. Like this one, for example. Post’s Pebbles cereal with a limited edition SUGAR COOKIE flavor. It looks good, it tastes good, and the box features Dino wea

  • Freezy Freakies: Gloves of Glory.

    Freezy Freakies. The one time I had any opinion at all about gloves. Made by Swany, they were decorated with everything ‘80s kids cared about, like robots and jets, and cute little animals. On that merit alone, they were destined for big things. 99% of gloves were boring, and if a child

  • Christmas, 1988. A Photo Journey.

    Christmas Eve, 1988. I was nine years old. Our whole giant family spent most of the day in the dining room, like we always did on Christmas Eve. Actually, it wasn’t just the dining room. That dining room wouldn’t have fit even half of us. Instead, our regular table was joined by two fo

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 2!

    I’ve been absent for a few days, because, as it turns out, December just isn’t my month! Still, nothing can pull me out of a forced funk faster than a Friday the 13th happening during Christmastime. Thank you, Jason and Santa. Now my world is rosy again. Here’s another batch of Class

  • I don’t waste snowstorms.

    Take this house, for example. The lights were obviously handled by Professional Light People. This is the kind of family that makes you take your shoes off first. I imagine it being co-run by an aggressive power couple. I don’t think they have children, nor do I believe them to be hardco

  • Top Toys from the 1999 Sears Wish Book!

    Party like it's 1999 with Darth Maul, Bill Goldberg and Pikachu! From the pages of the 1999 Sears Wishbook, here are fifteen toys and gadgets that used to make the world go round.

  • McDonald’s Holiday Pie!

    I’d never tried one before, but I’ve been hearing about them for years. Apparently, Holiday Pies were discontinued at one point, or at least released in fewer states. Google searches will reveal a LOT of hysteria surrounding these pies.