Let’s look at five ancient cans of Chef Boyardee pasta, because of course I have those.

Pac-Man Pasta!

From 1986, it’s both my oldest can and the prettiest… even if one must approach “golden chicken flavored sauce” with healthy trepidation. The milky, yellow glop looks not entirely dissimilar from cat vomit.

Intellectually, I get that “golden chicken” only implies that chicken-based sauce is naturally yellow. Still, pairing those words makes me imagine a splinter group of mutant chickens that I’ve never known to exist outside the confines of Pac-Man Pasta.

On the upside, the pasta shapes include Pac-Man, ghosts and power pellets. On the even uppier upside, the label’s gorgeous blue background gives it a subtly oceanic theme, which despite being miles away from canonical lore still somehow works for Pac-Man. Read More…

These Deadsites posts are always tricky. For every entry that seems to resonate with you guys, there’s another that maybe three people on the whole planet are interested in. Admittedly, today’s entry runs the risk of falling into the dreaded latter category.

I can’t afford to care, because GIANT SQUID!!!

From 1996, get a load of NBC’s official site for The Beast, a rather infamous television movie based on Peter Benchley’s nearly same-named novel. It’s about an enormous squid that terrorizes a small town, with little regard for its natural habitat. (Benchley also wrote Jaws, and it would be perfectly accurate to call both his novel and this adaptation “Jaws with a squid.”)

Ever since childhood museum trips told me about giant squids’ deep sea battles with sperm whales, I’ve been a huge mark for them. I was all about this mini-series in 1996, even if it ended up being kind of dopey and way too long. (My favorite bit had the impossibly huge mother squid — the movie’s “big bad” — surfacing to inspect its murdered offspring… literally reaching its tentacles over land and into a pool to check her baby’s pulse. It pained me to skip Married With Children, but vengeful mommy squids didn’t land on TV often.)

Reviews of the film are frustratingly disparate. Genre fans give its cheesier elements a pass, because we know that movies like this are always kinda cheesy. The problem was that The Beast was a prime time network special, more commonly reviewed by “pros” whose normal duties did not involve looking for the bright side in protracted movies about bloodthirsty squid. Read More…

(AVAILABLE IN THE UNITED STATES ONLY!)

I’m officially ready to shill the hell out of Dinosaur Dracula’s first Funpack of the new year. It’s the January 2015 edition, stuffed with 10+ items!

As this is now the sixth Funpack in the monthly series, it’s safe to assume that most of you already know the score. But just in case you don’t, I’ll explain!

I’m offering subscriptions for monthly Funpacks filled with assorted retro junk — along with choice newer items and even a couple of Dino Drac exclusives. These Funpack subscriptions are absolutely the driving force that allows me to continue running Dino Drac, so aside from getting a cool box of stuff every month, you’re also helping to keep the site going!

I’ll give you more details below, but here are the basics: Funpack subscriptions are $25 a month, and that includes shipping anywhere in the United States. You can cancel at anytime. For as long as you stay subscribed, you’ll automatically be billed $25 a month, and I’ll keep sending you new Funpacks!

Now, let’s see what’s in the January 2015 edition!

I think it’s a very strong contender for the best one yet. Over ten items in each box, including… Read More…