Dinosaur Dracula!

Dollar Tree’s Halloween Masks!

Wow, September is almost over. That’s scary. Hope you’re enjoying Dino Drac’s Halloween Countdown so far. Bigger things are coming in October!

When I went to Dollar Tree last week, I also picked up a bunch of masks. They’d be pretty terrible if put to use as non-ironic Halloween costumes, but if you judge them more as interpretive works of art, they’re a-okay.

On the other hand, the great thing about trick-or-treating is its loose dress code. If all you care about is the candy, any costume will do.

It was a long time ago, but I remember being at that delicate age – the age when you’re not too old to go trick-or-treating, but somehow too old to wear cheesy costumes in public. Back then, my friends and I totally relied on cheap, shitty masks like these. On Halloween or the night prior, we’d grab whichever masks were left at our local pharmacy, no matter how stupid they were. When we went trick-or-treating, we’d only slip ‘em on just before knocking on strangers’ doors.

After collecting our loot, we hid the masks in our trick-or-treat sacks. To continue the illusion that we weren’t trick-or-treating, our treat sacks were actually just our schoolbags. When we passed by the other, older kids — the ones who’d so suddenly declared that Halloween was lame, and that anyone who celebrated it was deserving of punches — they were never the wiser.

Masks like Dollar Tree’s would’ve worked just fine for those purposes. There will always a plus when you’re willing to sift through decades of repressed memories to find it.

We’re going to run through the six masks Dollar Tree had available, and our model will be Harley the Crite. There are several reasons for this. Most importantly, the masks, while technically not too small for my face, are small enough to make me appear like I have an enormous head. I’m not publishing photos if they’re only going to insinuate that my head is two feet wide.

Also, so far this season, Harley really hasn’t gotten his fair share of the spotlight. For those unfamiliar, allow me to introduce you.

“This is Harley. I caught him using Hostess Scary Cakes as bait. “

Now let’s dress him up like monsters. Read More…

RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks!

My friend “D” mailed me a spooky care package, and among its incredible contents was one of RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks. The one that looks like a pumpkin.

My first thought? “Pretty cool.” My second thought? To run out and buy the remaining two Halloween Color Blanks. And my third thought had something to do with grasshoppers.

They arrive as featureless albinos. The Color Blanks, I mean. Not the grasshoppers.

Actually, if you count the eggs, grasshoppers do, too.

It’s up to us to turn them into artful creatures with real pumping hearts, and I really do mean the Color Blanks this time. This isn’t my first go at coloring a Color Blank, but it is my first go at a Color Blank with a pumpkin for a head.

They’re on sale at Target, and I assume, other stores. Though my Color Blank fever was running too high to be bothered to check, I’m pretty sure they were five bucks each. I admit that there’s a small cynic living inside me, and this cynic believes they cost closer to $7. Read More…