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Dinosaur Dracula

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 17!

    Welcome to December! Like clockwork, the minor draft from the window I sit beside — endurable through most of the year — now has my right hand feeling like the discarded prisoner from Star Trek VI’s snow jail sequence. Most of the ads in this edition of Classic Christmas Comm

  • Toys from the 1992 JCPenney Xmas Catalog!

    The holiday season is all about traditions, and one of mine is naming the best toys from old department store catalogs. Let’s head back to 1992, when the 47th and 48th hottest things going were Swans Crossing and 3 Ninjas. Behold, JCPenney’s 1992 Christmas catalog! Over 500 pages’ wo

  • The 2001 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!

    Happy Thanksgiving week, everyone! The festivities may be muted this year, but you can still depend on a few of the usual traditions — like, say, the Purple Stuff Podcast’s annual review of an old Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade! This year, me and Jay from Sludge Central have sele

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 16!

    How about a new edition of Classic Christmas Commercials? Okay good, you approve! If you’re new to the site, this is where I gush about ancient TV spots that have some tie to Santa Claus, no matter how minor. The commercials below were rescued from old VHS tapes with incorrect labels.

  • Dino Drac’s November Funpack is here!

    Okay guys, I’m ready to show ya Dino Drac’s November Funpack, which IMO is one of the best ever — and certainly one that’ll help you get into the holiday spirit! Space is limited, so don’t wait long if you want in! UNITED STATES ONLY! LIMITED SUPPLY! It’s a huge dose of nos

  • 2020’s Hottest Holiday Junk Food, Part 1!

    I’ve collected several of this year’s hottest holiday junk foods, and by “collected” I mean “ate ravenously.” One good thing about the constant barrage of bad news is that you totally get a pass for eating garbage. Cut to a shot of me holding up the latest terrible newspaper wi

  • Brach’s Turkey Dinner Candy Corn!

    You’ve heard of Brach’s Turkey Dinner Candy Corn, right? A whole Thanksgiving dinner in candy corn form? It’s as gross as it sounds! Me and Jay got our hands on a few bags for a Purple Stuff Podcast taste-test. (We haven’t released a minisode in years, and what better excuse than g

  • Dino Drac’s Holiday Highlights!

    By this point in November, I’m usually a week deep into Dino Drac’s holiday season. Alas, in 2020, it’s been a struggle to find a moment when my trivial shtick wouldn’t seem tone-deaf. I’m not sure if we’re really there yet, but I gotta dip my toes in the water at least! Even b

  • Purple Stuff: CBS Halloween Specials, 1985!

    It’s Halloween week, and we’re coming in with a big swing! In this special edition of The Purple Stuff Podcast, me and Jay from Sludge Central are diving into the 1985 broadcasts of Garfield’s Halloween Adventure *and* It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! They aired back-to-back

  • 2020’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 4!

    This will be the final edition of 2020’s Best Halloween Junk Food, but that’s just because I’m running out of time, not candy. I’m so impressed with the volume of snacks we got this year, especially since 2020 “is what it is,” and I doubt anyone was expecting that much from it.

  • Dino Drac’s Halloween Funpack is here!

    The October Funpack is always one of the most important of the year, so I try my best to really make it rock. This year, I think I’ve succeeded — get a load of the goodies! UNITED STATES ONLY! *VERY* LIMITED SUPPLY! It’s a Halloween party in a box, loaded with cool collectibles,

  • Boris Karloff’s Guacamole Recipe!

    Today I made Boris Karloff’s guacamole. No, really: Some of you should be familiar with this 1960s newspaper clipping, where Boris Karloff — yes, as in Frankenstein’s Monster — shared his recipe for guacamole. The recipe is pretty “web famous,” and I’m hardly the firs

  • 2020’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 3!

    It’s been a great year for Halloween foodies, but in a quiet sort of way. While we haven’t gotten anything on the level of Fruity Yummy Mummy or the Halloween Whopper, there’s been an awful lot of not-awful stuff! As this edition of 2020’s Best Halloween Junk Food will demonstr

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 28!

    Whether you’re into Freddy Krueger, Universal Studios or KILLER ROBOT CABBAGE PATCH KIDS, this edition of Classic Creepy Commercials will satisfy your weird craving. Enjoy: Freddy’s Holiday Party Contest! (1988) Stay with me here, because it gets convoluted! If you lived in Portlan

  • Spooky VCR Games, Ripped 4 Your Pleasure.

    Hi, I’m Matt, and I collect tapes from old VCR board games. Just the tapes, I mean. I can’t honestly claim that they’re super fun to watch without the game components, but as a kid, I did it all the time. It started with the Clue VCR Mystery Game. My parents received it as a

  • Dino Drac’s Envelopes of Evil are back!

    Surprise — it’s back! Dino Drac’s fifth ENVELOPE OF EVIL is available now, assuming you live in the U.S. and have $31 to spare. You’ll receive a Priority Mail envelope stuffed with all sorts of spooky goodies, and maybe one that isn’t spooky at all. It’s a macabre mix of re

  • A Halloween Mood Table For My Cat.

    Well, it’s October 1st, and you know what that means. Halloween Mood Table time! I invented the Halloween Mood Table back in 2007. You can think of it as Halloween’s Christmas tree. Just set up a small table somewhere in the house, and cover it with spooky junk. Beyond the decorative f

  • McDonald’s Haunted Halloween Happy Meal!

    When I say “Halloween Happy Meal,” your mind drifts to one of two things: Those awesome buckets, or that army of costumed Chicken McNuggets. And hey, I get it! Objectively, those are the best spooky goodies McD’s has ever produced. Doesn’t mean that there aren’t others deserving

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: Spooky Songs VII!

    The Purple Stuff Podcast is back with one of its most important shows of the year! (Yes, creepy music is very important.) It’s the seventh volume of our annual series, SPOOKY SONGS! Me and Jay from Sludge Central are ready to boost your Halloween playlists with ten terrifying tracks that

  • Halloween on the Ancient Internet: Part 3!

    In this edition of Halloween on the Ancient Internet, you’ll see everything from the original Scream’s original site to a bunch of discontinued ice cream flavors. I’m pushing all of your best buttons. We’re gonna have a time! Unplug your landlines and settle in with that sweet 2400