Dinosaur Dracula!

The Mostly-Complete Dino Drac Archives.

You have some reading to do!

Below are most of the Dino Drac blog archives. Certain categories may be excluded to keep things tidier. If you notice any typos, pretend you didn’t.

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 30!

    Last week, I took a chance on a very large lot of homebrew VHS tapes, and my God, it really paid off. I’ve been at this for 20 years, and this was probably my best-ever score. I’m now sitting on more ancient TV commercials than I could ever hope to write about, which I suppose

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: New Old Stuff!

    It’s a new year for the Purple Stuff Podcast, so we’re gonna celebrate with a show about new things. New old things, I mean. This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit tackle all sorts of new old stuff. From New Coke to Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning, so long as

  • Dino Drac’s January Funpack is here!

    Cure your post-holiday blues with Dino Drac’s first Funpack of the new year! AVAILABLE FOR THREE DAYS ONLY! UNITED STATES ONLY! You know the drill by now! Funpack subscriptions are $25 a month (including shipping), and for as long as you remain subscribed, you’ll keep getting new b

  • Old Junk Food in Old Movies, Volume 2!

    Earlier this week, I kicked off a new series on Dino Drac: Old Junk Food in Old Movies. Now even the worst movies are worth watching, because who knows, maybe I’ll spot a can of discontinued Pringles hiding in the background. You can read the first volume over here, but if you ask me, th

  • Old Junk Food in ’80s and ’90s Movies!

    Whenever I watch old movies, I keep an eye out for old junk food. Sometimes I spot it during a kitchen scene. Other times it’s while characters zip around supermarkets. Whatever the case, spotting old junk food makes me lose track of the movies’ actual plots as I bittersweetly contempl

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 29!

    Happy 2019! One of my resolutions was to dig up as many old TV commercials as possible before my collection of home-recorded VHS tapes degrades any further. Expect a lot of these articles this year. …granted, “these articles” were never strong performers for Dino Drac, so maybe y

  • Toys from the 1984 JCPenney Christmas Catalog!

    It’s basically Christmas even as I write this. The next few days are going to be dead online, but I was determined to get one last holiday-themed article on the site before Santa hightailed it back to the North Pole. Consider this my Christmas gift to you. It’s not wrapped, and that’

  • Favorite Christmas Traditions!

    We considered posting our next episode of Purple Stuff Podcast after the holidays, since another Christmas-themed show would only have a couple of days to “make bank” before nobody wanted to listen to it. …but eh, screw that. If you need some virtual company as we head into the B

  • Ancient Holiday Appetizers, Part 6!

    Wellp, it’s time for my favorite Dino Drac feature. Get set for more weird holiday appetizers! As is now an annual tradition, I dug into my vast collection of ancient recipe books, searching for snacks that’ve fallen out of fashion. I’ve been doing that for longer than I’ve even ha

  • Christmas Memories in Crayon, Volume III!

    I know that I just posted one of these “Christmas Memories in Crayon” articles last week, but would you mind if I went back to the well? Inspiration hits where it hits. Below: Five more memories from long ago Christmases, rendered in crayon. Yuletide Yoda! As you know, my family opens

  • Dino Drac’s December Funpack is here!

    Dino Drac’s December 2018 Funpack is here, and guys, it’s Christmas in a box. I’m like Santa if Santa was a for-profit business. AVAILABLE FOR THREE DAYS ONLY! UNITED STATES ONLY! I assume y’all know the drill by now. Dino Drac’s Funpacks are available on a subscription basis, an

  • Christmas Memories in Crayon, Volume II!

    Welcome to the second edition of my now-annual series, Christmas Memories in Crayon. (Not to be confused with my maybe-annual series, Thanksgiving Memories in Crayon.) Below are five mini-essays about assorted Christmas memories, supplemented by bad crayon doodles. I may have written about

  • 10 More Awesome Songs for your Holiday Playlist!

    I love Christmas music. No matter what the holiday season throws at you, it’s always there, ready to make something out of nothing. I pretty much listen to nothing but Christmas music in December, and even during those dark days when the world is a ginormous pain in the ass, it never fai

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 12!

    Happy December! It’s the month that moves too fast and costs too much, but I love it, and if you’re able to stomach me, I’m guessing that you love it, too. As is tradition, I dug through my piles of home-recorded VHS tapes searching for more ancient Christmas commercials. Here’s th

  • Toys from the 1987 JCPenney Xmas Catalog!

    My reviews of old toy catalogs are usually one-and-dones, but boy, I could write about this book forever: Behold, the 1987 JCPenney Christmas catalog. I was in my prime “toy years” when this baby hit mailboxes, and there is sooo much shit in these pages that I had, wanted or outright p

  • 2018’s Hottest Holiday Junk Food!

    ‘Tis the season for eating garbage and blaming the time of year, so let’s do that. Below are five of 2018’s hottest holiday junk foods. Some are new, others are just new to me. Grinch’s Green Pancakes! As soon as I heard about IHOP’s green pancakes, they were all I could thin

  • National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation!

    National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation isn’t just one of my favorite Christmas movies — it’s one of my favorite movies period. It’s a film that becomes more beloved with each and every viewing, and I can say that with confidence because I’ve seen the damn thing over a hundre

  • Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner!

    I was one of the lucky few who managed to snag a limited edition Pringles Thanksgiving Dinner kit. Yes, that’s a real thing that really exists. These weird ass Pringles were only available online and sold out in minutes, even despite a midnight drop. Naturally, the $15 kits then popped u

  • Dino Drac’s November Funpack is here!

    The November Funpack is always one of my favorites to put together. It’s a chance for me to create a sort of “2nd Thanksgiving” for y’all, where the turkey is replaced with candy and the blessings are replaced with, uh, Phantom of the Opera figures. UNITED STATES ONLY! ONLY AVAILAB

  • Toys from the 1988 JCPenney Christmas Catalog!

    Ah, the holiday season — my favorite excuse to blow money on old department store catalogs just so I can scan a few pics of action figures. It’s just what The Waitresses sang about. Let’s look at some highlights from the 1988 JCPenney Christmas catalog. I’ve reviewed other edit