Dinosaur Dracula!
Dinosaur Dracula

Halloween on the Ancient Internet: Part 3!

In this edition of Halloween on the Ancient Internet, you’ll see everything from the original Scream’s original site to a bunch of discontinued ice cream flavors. I’m pushing all of your best buttons.

We’re gonna have a time! Unplug your landlines and settle in with that sweet 2400-baud connection. If you missed the previous editions, they’re here and here.


Elvira’s Halloween Soup!
(October 2000)

Elvira was one of the first celebs who understood the powaaa of the internet, using it not just to maintain her fame, but to become truly self-sufficient.

Early versions of her website were simple by today’s standards, but they held the key to Elvira’s still-going success: She built a direct line to her fans. It’s Celebrity 101 in 2020, but she did it when most people were still trying to figure out what those weird AOL discs that kept coming in the mail were for.

In the early 2000s, Elvira had a recipe section on her site. It must’ve been a point of passion for her, because the recipes were for mostly-normal foods that did not scream “Elvira” in any way.

Shown above is the recipe for Elvira’s Halloween Soup, a basic black bean soup that isn’t the slightest bit vampy or goth. I love that I can prepare such a pleasantly everyday meal and still call it a tribute to Elvira! Read More…

2020’s Best Halloween Junk Food, Part 2!

Time for the second edition of 2020’s Best Halloween Junk Food! If you missed the first one, it’s over here.

Given how much the real world sucks, it’s been a surprisingly strong year for Halloween snacks. All we need is for one fast food giant to roll the dice on a spooky promotion, and 2020 will have finally found something it’s still pretty good at.

Below: Five more things you should be eating and drinking, preferably under moonlight while wearing one of those cheap Halloween throw blankets like a cape.


Mountain Dew VooDew II!
(Found at: Speedway)

Many are saying that Mountain Dew VooDew II tastes exactly the same as last year’s version, but I disagree. It’s similar, but for me it’s like they took last year’s and added a splash of tonic water. I’m all about that bitter aftertaste, so I might dig this sequel even more.

The original tasted like straight-up Skittles, but according to Mountain Dew, the flavor was supposed to be candy corn. We won’t know what they intended for VooDew II until Halloween, but I’m sticking with my original guess: Caramel Apple. It doesn’t really taste like that, but especially considering the label colors, I think it’s what they aimed for.

(The most common flavor guess is Skittles, even if it’d be a touch weird for them to do a Skittles soda on purpose after doing one accidentally last year. That said, the label colors do line up nicely with classic Skittles colors, so it’s certainly in contention!)

GRADE: A. It would’ve been better had the flavor starkly contrasted with last year’s, but it’s still a soda fronted by a grim reaper. I pray that VooDew continues on as an annual tradition, until that reaper finally runs out of fingers and has to pull one of his feet into frame. Read More…

Horror Promos Rescued From VHS Tapes!

With even the most obscure horror movies now available on Blu-ray, collecting VHS tapes is mostly for the diehards. (Course, you’ll never convince me that watching something like Ghoulies doesn’t “hit different” on videocassette!)

Still, there is one unsung aspect of those old tapes that gives ‘em an advantage over all other formats. Many are loaded with weird, rare promos that were left behind as the films jumped onto discs and digital.

These would run before the movies, and they usually weren’t the sorts of spots you’d ever see on television. They pop up often enough to make every old horror tape a potential treasure trove, even if it’s of a little-loved movie that’s already on every streaming platform.

Below are five killer promos that I discovered in my tape collection. Enjoy!

Scream Greats!
Found on: Jason Lives VHS (1986)

I don’t know if it’s possible to watch that spot and not immediately want to track down the two Scream Greats videos. The first was essentially a Tom Savini doc, with behind-the-scenes footage from the films he worked on. The second, which is even more up my alley, dealt with the “real life” versions of Hollywood’s takes on satanism and witchcraft.

The spot runs for two minutes and comes off more like a featurette than a promo. I assume it was tacked onto a number of videos, but I found it on my copy of Jason Lives. Interestingly enough, this Scream Greats promo is arguably gorier than anything in that movie!

Both of the Scream Greats videos are fairly rare nowadays, with correspondingly high prices on eBay. Luckily, you can just watch them on YouTube. Here’s Volume 1, and here’s Volume 2. Read More…

Dino Drac’s Spooky September Funpack!

Time to unveil Dino Drac’s Spooky September Funpack! To the surprise of no one, it’s Halloween in a box!


UNITED STATES ONLY!

Now, here’s the deal: Subscriptions are already sold out. If you were already on the list, congratulations, you are absolutely getting the Spooky September Funpack, and you don’t need to do anything else.

If you’re not already a subscriber, good news: I DO have spares to sell this month, though with a few minor alterations. You can scroll to the bottom for info on those, but let’s start with listing all of the goodies current subscribers will be receiving this month! Read More…