Okay, here’s the deal! If you’re already a Dino Drac Funpack subscriber, good news: You’re locked in for the Scary September Funpack, and all Funpacks beyond, so long as you don’t cancel!
If you’re not already a subscriber, the bad news is, subscriptions are currently closed! (Too close to the quantity limit, I’m afraid!)
HOWEVER, I have a few spares that I can sell on an individual basis. If you’re not a subscriber and you really want this Funpack, skip to the bottom of this post for details!
Now then! Let’s talk about the SCARY SEPTEMBER FUNPACK. It’s perhaps the most ghoulish and ghastly box I’ve put together in all my many years of, uh… Funpacking? Is that the right word?
We’re in the midst of the Halloween season, and this box is stuffed with deadly delights that should add to the festivities. There may not be too many items in this one compared to previous boxes, but I think it’s a quality-over-quantity situation. There are some seriously haunted heavy hitters in this baby! Read More…
Hey, did you hear? It’s Friday the 13th. I hope you’re making the most of this holy day, whether it’s with movie marathons or masked mirror selfies.
I wasn’t planning anything special for the occasion, but on a hot tip from my pal Lindsey, I ended up in Blairstown, New Jersey, where parts of the original Friday the 13th were filmed.
There’s a lot happening there today. Movie screenings, meet-and-greets with various Jasons, and the list goes on and on. I can’t tell you about any of that, though. I just went there for goddamned bloody pancakes.
Shown above is the Blairstown Diner, which famously made an appearance in the first film. It’s a year-round tourist stop for diehard fans, but on Friday the 13th, this place really plays it up. More on that in a minute. Read More…
If you haven’t heard the big news, the crown jewel of Target’s 2019 Halloween collection is… Dinosaur Dracula?
Well, Target is calling it a “dragon,” but I know Dinosaur Dracula when I see him.
While it would’ve been nice for Target to ask me before painting Dino Drac orange and making him wear clown pants, I feel nothing but extreme joy over this. Best of all, the doll is only five bucks!
Get the whole scoop in today’s video, which I almost didn’t get to upload because computers are generally terrible:
Thanks for watching, and good luck finding your own Dinosaur Dracula! If you don’t like me, just pretend he’s Cheesasaurus Rex.
PS: Not-Dino Drac is part of a trio of “Hyde and Eek Boutique” dolls, so if you like sloths or unicorns better than dinosaurs (“dragons”), they’re out there, too. The others aren’t dressed like vamps, sadly.
Set aside two and a half minutes and however long it takes to read 900 words, because it’s time for the 23rd edition of Classic Creepy Commercials!
If this batch doesn’t put you in the mood for spiked cider and dimmed lighting, nothing will. Except maybe pot.
Halloween III on Broadcast TV! (1987)
On an October evening in 1987, WNUV-TV 54 — which I believe broadcasted out of Baltimore — ran three movies from the Halloween franchise. This promo aired midway through the marathon, and introduced Halloween III: Season of the Witch.
I love how they presented the film so whimsically, with cartoony graphics and an almost-friendly voiceover artist. Of course, Halloween III wasn’t at all kid-safe, as the content warning that closed the promo illustrated.
Gotta assume that the film was edited for content, as there was no way a broadcast network was gonna put scenes like this on television. I’m guessing they just looped Tom Atkins’s reaction shot and left audiences to wonder why they were suddenly hearing snakes and crickets. Read More…
At the tail end of 1984, Hormel introduced the most Halloweeny of all hot dogs. Probably not the kickoff line you were expecting, but whatever, you’re here. Let’s talk about Frank ‘n Stuff!
I’ve mentioned Frank ‘n Stuff in prior articles, but I thought it deserved a proper, standalone tribute. After all, there’s a Facebook page with no less than 272 people demanding the return of these atrocious, delicious hot dogs.
If you’ve never heard of ‘em, Frank ‘n Stuff hot dogs had hollow middles stuffed with chili. Literally encased within them, like mutagen in a TGRI can. Hormel later added a second version, this time stuffed with gooey cheese that exploded like god-tier zits when you bit into one.
It sounds gross through one lens, but having heard from many on this subject, I say with certainty that everyone who tried Frank ‘n Stuff hot dogs LOVED Frank ‘n Stuff hot dogs. They quietly inspired their own little fandom, like Elm Street 2 or Niles Crane. Read More…
I got my hands on a spooky nostalgia bomb. Behold, Imagineering’s 1989 Halloween catalog!
If you don’t remember Imagineering, they were one of the major suppliers of costumes, makeup kits and assorted Halloween accessories. If you grew up when I did, you definitely bought their stuff.
This wasn’t a retail catalog available to the general public, but instead a wholesale catalog that was only shipped to certain stores. So like, if Genovese wanted any “Disappearing Vampire Blood,” they had to call for the price and be okay with ordering at least 72 tubes.
Below are several highlights from the catalog’s thirty awesome pages:
Elvira Children’s Costume!
Imagineering had a major partnership with Elvira at the time, with at least twenty different Elvira-branded products littering their catalog. Everything from punk rock bracelets to big black press-on nails!
For me, nothing topped their Elvira Children’s Costume, which was such an amazing blend of “perfect” and “weird” that I’m now obsessed with tracking one down. I’ll look at it once every five years while wondering if it was really worth the 80 dollars, but whatever, live and learn.
It was the basic mask-and-smock combo that was so popular in children’s costumes of the era, yet somehow a step above and fourteen steps to the side. I’m especially fond of that bonkers Elvira mask, which acted as the visual midpoint between Jem and the master of ceremonies from Eyes Wide Shut. Read More…