Dinosaur Dracula!
  • Halloween Chex Mix Recipe!

    I’m going to teach you how to make Halloween Chex Mix. Yep, in the middle of June. Above is a print ad from an October 1988 issue of some random magazine. Homemade Chex Mix is traditionally more of a winter thing, but thanks to this recipe for a “Hot ‘n Devilish” version, you’re

  • Stranger Things invades Baskin-Robbins!

    I’m so glad that I finally hopped on the Stranger Things bandwagon. Not only is it a great show, but it would’ve killed me to skip all of this wackadoo promo shit for its third season. First was that New Coke hoopla, and now the series has completely taken over Baskin-Robbins! It’s

  • Godzilla Burgers at Johnny Rockets!

    I’m leaving to catch Godzilla: King of the Monsters in about, oh, two hours. I have no idea if I can finish this review before showtime, but I’m gonna try, because these half-baked paragraphs about weird cheeseburgers are surprisingly time-sensitive. Yes, Godzilla has invaded Johnny Ro

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: 10 Wonderful Witches!

    Make some tea, hit the lights and pray for a thunderstorm, because the latest episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast is gonna put you in a Halloween mood. This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit pay tribute to ten of our favorite pop culture WITCHES. We’re tackling movies like The Craft,

  • Vincent Price’s Supper Casserole!

    This was a good day. The weather was nice, I won a cheap eBay auction, and oh yeah, I made VINCENT PRICE’S SUPPER CASSEROLE. Back in 1977, Vincent Price shared this wonderfully weird recipe on behalf of Creamettes Macaroni. Price never shied away from paid endorsements, but since he was

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: ALIENS!

    I’ve been into space aliens for as long as I can remember. Whenever Unsolved Mysteries did a UFO segment, I led their cheering section. Whenever a flying saucer turned up on the cover of Weekly World News, I’d buy the issue. Aliens are one of my forever-jams. Jay from The Sexy Armpit i

  • Purple Stuff: Halloween Movie Review!

    I saw the new Halloween movie on Thursday night, with Jay from The Sexy Armpit. We hadn’t planned on doing a podcast about it, but why not? We spent an hour aimlessly running through the stuff we loved, the stuff we liked and the stuff we were maybe not totally sure about, but the non-sp

  • Horror Toys from Old Cereal Boxes!

    I’ll be honest: I wrote the rest of this article first, and saved the intro for last. Then I forgot to write it. Now I’m five minutes away from my arbitrary publishing deadline, and I have no intro. Words. Aalsalslals. Aososdoso. There, now this looks like a paragraph. Below: Three cer

  • WPIX’s SHOCKTOBER Marathon, from 1992!

    I know you’ve heard me sing this song before, but before now, I didn’t have the proper materials to hit the right notes. Indulge me, please. I need to talk about SHOCKTOBER. SHOCKTOBER was an October-long stunt that WPIX ran in the early ‘90s. Every weeknight at 8PM sharp, WPIX broke

  • Halloween Finds from an old Party Store!

    We visited a random party store in Jersey, and guys, this place was a goldmine. Looked like it hadn’t been renovated since 1992. The layout of their mask section was SO old school. Taking that as a hint, I dug deeper and found tons of vintage Halloween thingies hiding in the aisles. Tak

  • Purple Stuff tackles HALLOWEEN!

    If the new Halloween film has reignited your passion for the franchise at large, we’ve got the perfect hour-killer for you: In this brand new episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit are proud to present our MICHAEL MYERS MISHMASH — ten weird and aweso

  • Drunk Driving “Skeletons” PSA from ’84!

    Remember that absurdly frightening drunk driving PSA from the ‘80s? The one with the skeletons?  The 1984 TV spot was pretty famous in its time, partly for its use of Michael Jackson’s Beat It, but mostly because the PSA was so shocking in its execution. After four friends agree to

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 19!

    The return of Dino Drac’s Halloween Countdown means I get to dust off one of my favorite recurring features: Classic Creepy Commercials! If you weren’t around for the eighteen previous installments, this is where I gush about old spooky TV commercials. I’ve spent the last six months

  • The Creepiest GoBot of them all!

    Here’s an inordinate amount of words about a GoBots figure. I have my reasons! Meet Creepy, one of the evil Renegades. As far as insectoid robot monsters go, he’s aces. Ghoulish purple claws, toxic green paint, and a name that would make me love him even without those things. What make

  • The 1990s Windows Mystery Screensaver!

    Back in the late ‘90s, I bought my first computer. It was hardly the first computer that I’d messed around on, but it was the first one that was all mine. I customized the shit out of it. By the time I was through, I don’t think there was a single default sound still in

    Treasures from the Halloween 4 Pharmacy!

    So, here’s something weird. I love Halloween 4 to death, yet the film doesn’t even crack my top 3 from that franchise. I’ve never considered myself nearly the Myers nut that so many of my friends are, but here I am, sweating over whether Halloween 4 beats Halloween H20 or not. Hallow

  • Purple Stuff Podcast: Spooky Songs Part V!

    Ask and you shall receive! Well, not usually, but this time. If you’ve been hankerin’ for a new Purple Stuff, we’re finally ready to deliver: Yes indeed, we’re kicking off the 2018 Halloween season with our fifth installment of SPOOKY SONGS. This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armp

  • Funko’s Freddy and Jason HORROR CEREALS!

    Y’all heard the news about Funko’s amazing line of cereals, right? They all look interesting, but two were of particular interest to me. You can probably guess which! Yep, we now have officially licensed Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees BREAKFAST CEREALS. I still can’t believe it. I

  • 5 Horror Movie Popcorn Scenes!

    I love popcorn! I love popcorn so much that I get extraordinarily excited when it turns up in movies. Especially horror movies, where it often becomes a prop in bizarre murders involving alien clowns or unreasonably toxic spiders. Below: Five scenes from horror movies that feature popcorn.

  • Video: Talking Cryptkeeper “Beach Bum” Doll!

    Guys! I found the perfect subject for Cruel Summer’s first video: That thing. A Talking Cryptkeeper doll from 1993, where our pal is randomly dressed like a beach bum. Dude could be the mascot for Cruel Summer. Here’s everything you need to know about this sunny savage, in just under f

  • Halloween III is a Road Trip Movie.

    We’re long past the point where Halloween III: Season of the Witch needs defending. It’s now celebrated for the same reasons it was once vilified. In summary: It dared to be different. The film plays out more like a bleak 1970s sci-fi thriller than a chapter in an ‘80s slasher franch

  • Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, #5!

    Time for the fifth edition of Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters. I hope you like Chicken McNuggets and demons from Hell. The Grither! Tales from the Darkside (1986) The Grither was perhaps the most memorable monster ever featured on Tales from the Darkside — which is saying plenty when

  • The 1986 Nash “Nightmare” Skateboard!

    I’m gonna need you to watch a scene from Child’s Play 2. Trust me, okay?  Here we have young Andy Barclay inspecting his new bedroom. His adoptive mother encourages him to play with the assorted toys, and tells him that there are even more in the closet. The scene establishes that t

  • Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, #4!

    Get set for the fourth edition of Tiny Tributes to Minor Monsters, featuring everything from a zombie wrestler to the Godzilla version of Satan. Everything you need, really. The Fake Undertaker! WWF SummerSlam (1994) I never love pro-wrestling more than when it’s at its most preposterous

  • 4 Frightening Facts about MOTU Slime!

    Simple as it was, SLIME was perhaps my favorite of all Masters of the Universe toys. The neon green pseudosnot taught me that toy slime wasn’t just what it literally was, but also whatever we imagined it to be. In Masters of the Universe lore, Hordak uses Slime to turn randos into zombie