Dinosaur Dracula!
  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 12!

    Happy December! It’s the month that moves too fast and costs too much, but I love it, and if you’re able to stomach me, I’m guessing that you love it, too. As is tradition, I dug through my piles of home-recorded VHS tapes searching for more ancient Christmas commercials. Here’s th

  • Toys R Us Christmas Commercials from 1986!

    This’ll take a minute to explain. Exactly a minute. Time me. During the 1986 holiday season, Toys “R” Us unveiled a series of commercials hosted by giant anthropomorphized toys, like that amazing robot shown above. Each spot featured a different batch of 1986’s hottest playthings.

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 21!

    I’m halfway back from an unexpected break, because October likes to hand me more tricks than treats. Here’s the latest edition of Classic Creepy Commercials. Garfield’s Halloween Adventure! (1998) This CBS promo from 1998 celebrated the first airing of Garfield’s Halloween Adve

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 20!

    Get set for the best edition of Classic Creepy Commercials yet. I’m serious. I’m Babe Ruthing this mofo. All of these ads were rescued from taped-off-television compilations. For maximum effect, imagine them sandwiched between seven-minute stretches of DuckTales and Scooby-Doo. You

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 19!

    The return of Dino Drac’s Halloween Countdown means I get to dust off one of my favorite recurring features: Classic Creepy Commercials! If you weren’t around for the eighteen previous installments, this is where I gush about old spooky TV commercials. I’ve spent the last six months

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 28!

    Below are five more ancient TV commercials, plucked from my ginormous pile of dusty tapes. May they make you 10% happier for 2.5 minutes. Child’s Play 3! (1991) In terms of horror, the Child’s Play franchise was my first love. I was a late bloomer with a weak stomach, but Chucky al

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 27!

    To tie in with Dino Drac’s Cruel Summer event, everything featured in this edition of Five Retro TV Commercials has something to do with summertime. Or cruelty. Get set for ice cream, fried chicken and water-squirting robot men! Butterfinger Ice Cream Bars! (1991) I was never big on Butt

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 26!

    In this edition of Five Retro TV Commercials, we’re celebrating everything from Kool-Aid to Sunny D. And also a few things that aren’t drinks. Super Naturals! (1987) A line like Super Naturals could’ve only happened in the ‘80s, when the action figure market was white hot. By today

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 25!

    Time for another batch of ‘80s and ‘90s TV commercials, pulled from my ginormous collection of half-rotted VHS tapes. Get set for Ninja Turtles, Slurpees and gratuitously creepy PSAs.  Turtle Power Hotline! (1990) Kids! Call this special 900 number to listen to songs from the live-a

  • The Ultimate Tribute to WPIX.

    Until 1994, WPIX was a smallish, independent TV station, but one that aired -- in the New York area, at least -- on broadcast television. Even as a kid, I recognized that it wasn’t on the same level as ABC, NBC or CBS. In many ways, it felt like the mom-and-pop version of a TV station.

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 24!

    In this edition of Five Retro TV Commercials, you’ll see everything from old ghosts to old cereal to old cheese. I know how to build excitement. Real Ghostbusters Toys! (1986) Here’s an early Real Ghostbusters toy commercial — possibly the first, but at least one of the first. Ke

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 23!

    By the time you watch the old commercials I upload, they’re just old commercials, no different from the millions of others on YouTube. What you miss is the curation. Most of the ads I’ve put up were rescued from dusty VHS tapes, long ignored by their prior owners. Some of those tapes s

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 22!

    I’ve been encoding old VHS tapes like crazy lately, collecting more commercials than my computer and two external hard drives can reasonably handle. This article is a small step in clearing the cache, but it’s mainly an excuse for me to gush about giant squid and microwave pizza. Hurri

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 21!

    Today is my birthday. I thought I’d celebrate by writing about Regis Philbin’s old Harvest Crisps commercial. You do you, I do me. Burger King’s Burger Bundles! (1987) I’ve never been wild about Burger King. As a kid, I’d only eat there out of geographical convenience or beca

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 20!

    I’ve been digging through stacks of home-recorded VHS tapes, searching for more old TV commercials. It’s seriously one of my favorite things to do. I even wear a special outfit. Below: Another batch of retro TV commercials. This time, they’re all from the ‘90s, when grunge was big

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 11!

    I wanted to sneak one last edition of Classic Christmas Commercials onto Dino Drac before THE BIG DAY, which is now approaching so rapidly that it might actually be January by the time I finish this paragraph. Below: Five more Christmas commercials from 1987, featuring ALF, Garfield and S

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 10!

    A reader donated over seven hours’ worth of Christmas specials, all taped off television back in 1987… with every commercial left intact. Yes! (Thank you, Robin!) Everything in this edition of Classic Christmas Commercials is from that tape, so imagine them breaking Rudolph and Frosty

  • Classic Christmas Commercials, Volume 9!

    I’ve curated another batch of ancient Christmas commercials. Keep reading if you enjoy Chicken McNuggets, Chex Mix and copper top battery testers. Don’t if you don’t. McDonald’s: Scrooge’s Christmas! (1984) Ebenezer Scrooge is so giddy over Chicken McNuggets that he drops

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 18!

    Get set for the latest edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, the series in which I pay tribute to ancient spooky ads, or something. On a mostly unrelated note, I never bought into the idea that essays need a strong intro. Monster Face! (1992) Monster Face was basically a Dr. Frankenstein

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 17!

    Get set for another batch of Classic Creepy Commercials, featuring everything from horror movies to space aliens to bugs made out of Play-Doh. We’re gonna have a time! The Official Boglins Hotline! (1988) Yep, this was a real thing that really happened. An official Boglins hotline! As I

  • Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 16!

    The return of the Halloween Countdown means that I get to dust off one of my favorite recurring Dino Drac features: Classic Creepy Commercials! Since I’ve now covered well over 100 spooky commercials, the pickings are slim and I’ll need to get creative. So like, my apologies to those

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 19!

    Get set for another edition of Five Retro TV Commercials, because I know you’re dying to see Charlie Brown sell life insurance. You’re so ironic. Nickelodeon Sweepstakes Promo! (1986) Here we had Nickelodeon bragging about its many on-air giveaways. If you shipped out 6000 skateboards

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 18!

    In this edition of Five Retro TV Commercials, you’ll see everything from old pizza to old action figures to old cough drops. That’s my pitch. Pizza Hut’s “Great White” Pizza! (1993) I’m low-key obsessed with Pizza Hut’s discontinued specialty pies. By “low-key

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 17!

    Here’s another edition of Five Retro TV Commercials, featuring everything from Bartman to steamed hams: McDonald’s Cheddar Melt! (1989) I have a sick fascination with discontinued McDonald’s foods, revering them more as I would extinct species of birds than old sandwiches. Three

  • Five Retro TV Commercials, Part 16!

    I’ve been absent for a week, which is exactly how long it would take for someone to steal me and leave an android in my place. Food for thought. Below: The latest edition of Five Retro TV Commercials. These ads aired during DuckTales back in ‘88, so imagine them bookending quips from M