Outsider Art

You know that thing I do every Christmas season, where I write about holiday memories but also draw them with crayons? I’ve done it for Thanksgiving, too. I am so bad at going viral. Here’s the Halloween version, which will specifically deal with trick-or-treating. Below are five memor

Happy October! As is tradition, I’m starting the month with another Halloween Mood Table. This year’s edition is a little different, though. It’s more of a Mood House. Instead of the usual assortment of decorations, candies, books and bric-a-brac, I threw a dollhouse on top of a tiny

I know that I just posted one of these “Christmas Memories in Crayon” articles last week, but would you mind if I went back to the well? Inspiration hits where it hits. Below: Five more memories from long ago Christmases, rendered in crayon. Yuletide Yoda! As you know, my family opens

Welcome to the second edition of my now-annual series, Christmas Memories in Crayon. (Not to be confused with my maybe-annual series, Thanksgiving Memories in Crayon.) Below are five mini-essays about assorted Christmas memories, supplemented by bad crayon doodles. I may have written about

Remember this article from last year, where I shared Christmas memories and used crayon doodles for visual aids? Well, here’s the Thanksgiving version. Below are five bad drawings of five Thanksgiving memories. I’ll seize upon any excuse to render a turkey wing in burnt sienna. Macy

It’s October 1st, and you know what that means. The tradition must continue! It’s time to unveil my 2018 Halloween Mood Table!  WATCH IN HD ON YOUTUBE! …which is more of a Halloween Mood Creature, but we’ll get to that in a minute. I invented the Halloween Mood Table bac

Remember last year when I showed you some pages from my 1992 diary? Well, here’s the 1993 version: That’s the diary, right there. Or “journal,” because diaries were for girls, I guess? I kept this one during the summer of ’93. I was 14, though the book reads like it was writt

I drew pictures representing five Christmas memories, and then wrote about them. I’m super good at never going viral. Just to get this out of the way: Yes I draw like I’m five and no it’s not for effect. Underneath the Christmas Tree! I used to love laying under the Christmas tree. I

If you’re having a hard time getting into the Halloween spirit, I don’t blame you. Everything kinda sucks right now. I’d never tell anyone to put trivial pursuits first, but having small respites from the real world isn’t a bad thing, either. Besides, I have the perfect thing for p

We remember yesteryear’s Halloweens in dribs and drabs, and then we fill in the blanks with rosy idealizations. Generalities become specificities, and the line between “kinda happened” and “really happened” is blurry AF. It’s that way with all matters of nostalgia, so when I fi

Wanna read my diary? Shown above is my diary — sorry, JOURNAL — from the summer of 1992, when I was between the 7th and 8th grades. I was bored, weird and lonely, but also “purely me” in a way that seems almost alien now. I didn’t have a lot going on, and boy, it

A few weeks ago, I bought this: It’s a bag of assorted action figure accessories, plus a few broken figures. I found it at a toy & collectible shop that had a little bit of everything, from vintage Masters of the Universe figures to cartoon-themed lunch boxes. In stores like that, I

Shrinky Dinks were invented in the early ‘70s, but it wasn’t until the ‘80s that their popularity exploded. That’s when the color-and-bake sheets of polystyrene plastic caught the attention of major toy companies, leading to dedicated Shrinky Dinks sets for He-Man, Rainbow Brite an

Ah, finally! It’s Mood Table time! I invented the Halloween Mood Table back in 2007. That year, I was all out of sorts over various personal issues, and completely lost my Halloween spirit. The Mood Table was how I got it back. I’ve made one every year since, and along the way, hundred

I don’t know why I’m even bothering with an intro. You’re just gonna skip ahead to the rotten pasta. Hey, I don’t blame you. I’d do the same. Behold, a sealed can of Chef Boyardee’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pasta, from 1991. Well, a formerly sealed can… DUH NUH NUH NUH NU

Yesterday afternoon, I asked the folks on Twitter for help with a special art project: They could name any two people or characters, and I’d merge them into one. So like, if people ever wondered what it might look like had Godzilla been part Ninja Turtle, I was their guy. Dozens were hap

Okay guys, sometimes I lose my mind and write really odd things. Please forgive me for this giant poem about Quaker's limited edition Pumpkin Spice Oatmeal. Inspiration hits where it hits, y'know?

The tradition continues! Come check out my 2015 Halloween Mood Table, and get directions on how to make your own! It's easy! You can consider it the Halloween season's Christmas tree.

General Mills never disappoints during the Halloween season. This year, you can cut up your Monster Cereal boxes to build a huge haunted castle, with little figures and everything! Unbelievably cool, and one of 2015's best spooky promos.

GROCERY SHOPPING! Here are thirty dumb haikus About what I saw.

Uh oh — the coffee cups are back! If you recall, I asked Dino Drac readers to submit photos of their weirdest coffee cups, owing to morbid curiosity and probably worse. That was back in July. Over a hundred of you accepted the challenge, and I was so overwhelmed the sheer volume of s

Back in July, I asked everyone to send in photos of their weirdest coffee mugs for an upcoming Dino Drac feature. A whole lotta you did. In fact, I was so daunted by the number of submissions that I shelved the idea for months. During that time, I expertly handled any emailed inquires by p

Guys, we need to talk about this Mother’s Day card. I made it for my mother in 1986. 1987 at the absolute latest. Considering the card’s enormous size and use of strange paper, I can only assume it was an art project from grade school. The cover looks innocent enough, or at least as i

This holiday season is going way too fast. Before you know it, it’ll be big boring depressing January. Don’t waste what little time we have left! Do things! Do stupid things that are only okay to do at this time of year! I’m here to help. Tonight I’m gonna teach you how to make you

Well, Thanksgiving kicked off with huge news. I’m sitting there watching a giant Kool-Aid Man roll by, and what does Matt Lauer announce? THE PENDING RETURN OF SHARKLEBERRY FIN. Oh my GOD. YESSSS! I’ll have more to say about this fantastic news later. This post is just meant to be