Dinosaur Dracula!
  • Thanksgiving Memories in Crayon.

    Remember this article from last year, where I shared Christmas memories and used crayon doodles for visual aids? Well, here’s the Thanksgiving version. Below are five bad drawings of five Thanksgiving memories. I’ll seize upon any excuse to render a turkey wing in burnt sienna. Macy

  • The 2018 Halloween Mood Table!

    It’s October 1st, and you know what that means. The tradition must continue! It’s time to unveil my 2018 Halloween Mood Table!  WATCH IN HD ON YOUTUBE! …which is more of a Halloween Mood Creature, but we’ll get to that in a minute. I invented the Halloween Mood Table bac

  • Humdrum Highlights from the Summer of ’93.

    Remember last year when I showed you some pages from my 1992 diary? Well, here’s the 1993 version: That’s the diary, right there. Or “journal,” because diaries were for girls, I guess? I kept this one during the summer of ’93. I was 14, though the book reads like it was writt

  • Christmas Memories in Crayon.

    I drew pictures representing five Christmas memories, and then wrote about them. I’m super good at never going viral. Just to get this out of the way: Yes I draw like I’m five and no it’s not for effect. Underneath the Christmas Tree! I used to love laying under the Christmas tree. I

  • The 2017 Halloween Mood Table!

    If you’re having a hard time getting into the Halloween spirit, I don’t blame you. Everything kinda sucks right now. I’d never tell anyone to put trivial pursuits first, but having small respites from the real world isn’t a bad thing, either. Besides, I have the perfect thing for p

  • ’80s and ’90s Halloween Photo Album!

    We remember yesteryear’s Halloweens in dribs and drabs, and then we fill in the blanks with rosy idealizations. Generalities become specificities, and the line between “kinda happened” and “really happened” is blurry AF. It’s that way with all matters of nostalgia, so when I fi

  • Humdrum Highlights from the Summer of ’92.

    Wanna read my diary? Shown above is my diary — sorry, JOURNAL — from the summer of 1992, when I was between the 7th and 8th grades. I was bored, weird and lonely, but also “purely me” in a way that seems almost alien now. I didn’t have a lot going on, and boy, it

  • Making new action figures out of broken ones.

    A few weeks ago, I bought this: It’s a bag of assorted action figure accessories, plus a few broken figures. I found it at a toy & collectible shop that had a little bit of everything, from vintage Masters of the Universe figures to cartoon-themed lunch boxes. In stores like that, I

  • Real Ghostbusters Shrinky Dinks!

    Shrinky Dinks were invented in the early ‘70s, but it wasn’t until the ‘80s that their popularity exploded. That’s when the color-and-bake sheets of polystyrene plastic caught the attention of major toy companies, leading to dedicated Shrinky Dinks sets for He-Man, Rainbow Brite an

  • The 2016 Halloween Mood Table!

    Ah, finally! It’s Mood Table time! I invented the Halloween Mood Table back in 2007. That year, I was all out of sorts over various personal issues, and completely lost my Halloween spirit. The Mood Table was how I got it back. I’ve made one every year since, and along the way, hundred

  • Opening a can of TMNT Pasta from 1991.

    I don’t know why I’m even bothering with an intro. You’re just gonna skip ahead to the rotten pasta. Hey, I don’t blame you. I’d do the same. Behold, a sealed can of Chef Boyardee’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pasta, from 1991. Well, a formerly sealed can… DUH NUH NUH NUH NU

  • Monster Mashes: An Art Project.

    Yesterday afternoon, I asked the folks on Twitter for help with a special art project: They could name any two people or characters, and I’d merge them into one. So like, if people ever wondered what it might look like had Godzilla been part Ninja Turtle, I was their guy. Dozens were hap

  • An ode to Pumpkin Spice Quaker Oatmeal.

    Okay guys, sometimes I lose my mind and write really odd things. Please forgive me for this giant poem about Quaker's limited edition Pumpkin Spice Oatmeal. Inspiration hits where it hits, y'know?

  • The 2015 Halloween Mood Table!

    The tradition continues! Come check out my 2015 Halloween Mood Table, and get directions on how to make your own! It's easy! You can consider it the Halloween season's Christmas tree.

  • This Monster Cereals Castle is amazing.

    General Mills never disappoints during the Halloween season. This year, you can cut up your Monster Cereal boxes to build a huge haunted castle, with little figures and everything! Unbelievably cool, and one of 2015's best spooky promos.

  • 30 Haikus About Groceries.

    GROCERY SHOPPING! Here are thirty dumb haikus About what I saw.

  • The Coffee Cup Exhibition: Part 2!

    Uh oh — the coffee cups are back! If you recall, I asked Dino Drac readers to submit photos of their weirdest coffee cups, owing to morbid curiosity and probably worse. That was back in July. Over a hundred of you accepted the challenge, and I was so overwhelmed the sheer volume of s

  • The Coffee Cup Exhibition: Part 1!

    Back in July, I asked everyone to send in photos of their weirdest coffee mugs for an upcoming Dino Drac feature. A whole lotta you did. In fact, I was so daunted by the number of submissions that I shelved the idea for months. During that time, I expertly handled any emailed inquires by p

  • Happy Mother’s Day!

    Guys, we need to talk about this Mother’s Day card. I made it for my mother in 1986. 1987 at the absolute latest. Considering the card’s enormous size and use of strange paper, I can only assume it was an art project from grade school. The cover looks innocent enough, or at least as i

  • Make your own Virtual Christmas Tree!

    This holiday season is going way too fast. Before you know it, it’ll be big boring depressing January. Don’t waste what little time we have left! Do things! Do stupid things that are only okay to do at this time of year! I’m here to help. Tonight I’m gonna teach you how to make you

  • Thanksgiving is fantastic.

    Well, Thanksgiving kicked off with huge news. I’m sitting there watching a giant Kool-Aid Man roll by, and what does Matt Lauer announce? THE PENDING RETURN OF SHARKLEBERRY FIN. Oh my GOD. YESSSS! I’ll have more to say about this fantastic news later. This post is just meant to be

  • Shrunken Apple Head’s 10th Birthday!

    Oof. This one’s gonna be bittersweet for me. I’ll tell you why in a minute. Guys, it’s Shrunken Apple Head’s TENTH birthday! Shrunken Apple Head first appeared on X-Entertainment in 2003, as part of my ill-fated attempt to review an ancient Vincent Price “Shrunken Head” kit wit

  • Happy Halloween!

    Holy shit, it’s Halloween. Finally? Already?! The 2013 Halloween Countdown isn’t over yet (COME BACK TONIGHT!), but I hope you enjoyed it. More importantly, I hope you enjoyed the whole damn season. I know I have. Usually, Halloween gets here, and there’s a tiny voice inside me screa

  • The 2013 Halloween Mood Table!

    It’s October. Officially October. Undeniably October. I’m happy it’s here, but I’m also petrified. The Halloween season is moving so FAST this year! September flew by in what felt like a week, and I’m sure October will be no different. Be sure to make the most of it, guys. A good

  • Caramel Apple Toaster Strudel!

    I’ve been scouting Toaster Strudel for years now, waiting for Pillsbury to come out with the inevitable  “Halloween edition.”  Well, they finally did it! Course, it’s not as much a Halloween edition as an autumn edition, and even then, it’s not very explicit. Whatever. I don’