Dinosaur Dracula!

BFCDAW #4: Crabs of Christmas Island.

More Bullshit Filler Content Devised At Work!

This time, I painted the famous mass migration the Christmas Island red crabs.

Christmas Island is on the short list of places I need to visit at least once before I die. (It has to be before — that much I am adamant about.) Between these crabs, the larger coconut crabs (SWOON) and the fact that it’s an island named after Christmas, no flight is too long and no expense is too great. When I retire, I will live among the Christmas Islanders and spend my waning days wondering why I wasted my good ones elsewhere.

Also, since I have so many working days between now and Christmas, BFCDAW posts are going to be a necessity. And, honestly, I just really like painting bad pictures. There may be two dozen more posted between now and Christmas. Deal with it.

1998’s Bedrock Blizzard Pebbles Cereals!

When you hear “Fruity Pebbles” and “Christmas” mentioned together, it’s usually in reference to that classic commercial – the one where no less than Santa himself persuaded Fred to give Barney cereal.

But Post’s Pebbles brands did more Christmasing than that! Look no further than 1998’s Bedrock Blizzard promotion. Not once did it use the word “Christmas,” but with a snowy motif and the image of Fred Flintstone wearing green earmuffs, we all knew the deal. This was as rife with holiday spirit as flying reindeer or After Eight thin mints.

For the Bedrock Blizzard version of Fruity Pebbles, the multicolored boulders gained a coat of snowy frosting. This tempered the cereal’s overwhelming fruitiness with deep sugary hues, though I doubt that Post ever described things that way. I really need to work on my sales copy. Sometimes I feel like Van Alden with a steam iron. Read More…

BFCDAW #3: Snobot.

Holiday Hodgepodge #2!

HEY: There’s a new feature up, highlighting fifteen treasures from the 1998 Sears Wish Book!

Another busy week lies ahead, but if the rumors are true, Dino Drac should be kicking the holidays into high gear by the end of it. I hope so, bruddah. You complete me.

Here’s another attempt to make up for lost time by cramming as much Christmas shit as possible into one entry. I have a feeling that I’ll be doing this a few more times between now and THE BIG DAY, so let’s go ahead and make that “Holiday Hodgepodge” title an officially recurring thing. Picture me pushing the button that makes it so.

This is Holiday Hodgepodge #2! The one with the red and green fish! I didn’t realize it while taking the photos, but everything here could be construed as “stocking stuffers.” If you’re slated to fill a giant sock by Christmas morning, keep these baubles in mind.

#1: Pepperidge Farm Holiday Goldfish.

Neither red and green “Holiday Goldfish” nor Pepperidge Farm’s adorable mini-cartons are new for 2012, but I think this is the first time they’ve ever been paired together. The results are outstanding, and the jury that is collectively me will never again accept a Christmas stocking that doesn’t include a tiny carton of red and green Goldfish.

Check out the fishy mascot on the carton’s side. He’s really proud of that hat. I’d be prouder of trailing a psychedelic rainbow of neon paint wherever I swam. The hat’s pretty tame compared to that. Read More…