Dinosaur Dracula!

Snow Day!

Hello there, Giant Surprise Snowstorm. I shall pay tribute to you with cocoa dust and tiny marshmallows:

It’s still snowing as I write this. This is no bullshit storm, either. These are big flakes, and they’re actually sticking.

I love snowstorms, even if now isn’t the time for one. My city is far from recovered from Sandy, and I should not be asking God for more of his ethereal dandruff. This snow is obviously going to make a tough situation worse for so many neighbors. On the other hand, if I donate $50 to the Red Cross, that’s probably penance enough for enjoying it.

There isn’t going to be some big arc to this post. I just wanted to “archive” the moment, since there’s no guarantee that it’ll snow again before Christmas. This could be my one chance to make like Calvin before 2013. For about fifteen minutes earlier tonight, I did just that. Read More…

“How’s the turtle, Mrs. Stubbs?”

If you’ve never seen My Blue Heaven, please don’t take that as a cue to skip this post. This is less about an old movie and more about RIDICULOUSLY CUTE BABY TURTLES, and only a fool would miss those.

…but of course, since I so rarely get the opportunity to do so, let me at least make mention of what a ridiculously great movie My Blue Heaven is. Steve Martin hamming it up as a mobster in the witness protection program. Rick Moranis as the straight-laced FBI agent, in his best role outside of Spaceballs. (Yep, I even put his work here above the Ghostbusters movies. Merengue > Melnitz?)

Released in 1990, it’s one of those films you can watch a thousand times and still love just as much. Every last line is just so utterly quotable, and I’ve spent the better part of my life trying to prove that. “You’re wrinkling your pants” is still my go-to non sequitur whenever I need to end a line of questioning.

But above all of the movie’s other triumphs was its inclusion of RIDICULOUSLY CUTE BABY TURTLES. This is the story about how about ten seconds of big screen reptiles kicked off a lifelong fascination and an untapped lust. Read More…

Holiday Chips Ahoy Cookies!

I’d originally intended to bridge Dino Drac’s Halloween and Christmas seasons with some non-holiday “neutral” posts, and while I’ll still probably do that, this couldn’t wait.

Google tells me that Holiday Chips Ahoy aren’t new for 2012, but tonight was the first time I’d even seen them, and if I could paint a picture of that moment, you’d see me with a head-wide smile, rendered in acrylics.

Look, I’m trying to keep my Christmas madness in check. The explosion will come soon, but I know it isn’t time for it yet. Cookies like these are no help at all. I can’t look at this package and not get the immediate urge to cue up that one Paul McCartney song everybody but me hates.

The bag (Can we call this a bag?) is terrific, mixing a snowy white base with icy blue wintry things. You may take the “Holiday” moniker to mean that these are nondenominational Chips Ahoy cookies, but actually, they’re more like all-denominational Chips Ahoy cookies. Looking over the bag’s various slogans, we’re wished a merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah and a happy Kwanzaa.

I have a feeling I may have misinterpreted the meaning of “denominational.” You’ll live.

The package’s decorative symbols go along with that theme. There’s Christmas’s tree, Hanukkah’s menorah, and Kwanzaa’s “unity” thing, which looks a bit like two paper clips. I dig it.

I should confess that I’ve flip-flopped on the “Christmas vs. Holiday” issue. After spending so many years screaming “CHRISTMAS” at audiences partly composed of folks who do not celebrate it, I’ve come to accept “Holiday” as a fair-for-all necessity. Nabisco was right to pander so broadly. Read More…