Dinosaur Dracula!

MORE Vicious Videocassette Boxes!

Continuing on with the Vicious Videocassette Boxes series, here’s Part 2! Five more dusty old tapes, and the memories they inspire!

#6: Ghoulies II (1988)
Watch the trailer!

You should remember the original Ghoulies from the first batch. This time, the “green toilet monster” shed his clothes and gained an ally! It all seems more deliberately comical than the original’s box, which makes sense, because Ghoulies II was as much a comedy as a horror movie.

When I tell people to give this franchise a chance, I’m mostly talking about Ghoulies II. It was the perfect little monster movie. This time, the Ghoulies – now taking much more central roles – invade a carnival, and spend as much time messing with the attractions as they do the attendees. The film also has a strong contender for “best ending ever,” with the heroes summoning a GIANT-SIZED Ghoulie to come devour the smaller ones. (Words can’t describe!)

Oh, and about that box. While the first movie only used the “toilet gag” in promotional materials, Ghoulies II actually delivered it onscreen. Yep, some poor shitter finally gets it on the ass. If you’re planning a horror movie marathon and want to steer clear of flicks everyone’s seen a dozen times already, PUT THIS ON YOUR LIST. Read More…

Six Foot Freddy Krueger Decoration!

A friend – let’s call him “M” – told me to keep an eye on the mailbox. Assuming “M” did not mean this literally, I complied. My reward was a 72-inch Freddy Krueger with a huge head and absolutely no feet.

“M” apologized for leaving the price sticker on. He feared that any attempt at removing it would destroy the box. Actually, I’m glad it was intact. The “HOT BUYS: 19.99” sticker betrays Freddy’s roots at some faraway Walgreens, and indeed, it’s structured just like so many of their humongous yet relatively inexpensive Halloween decorations with big hard heads topping five feet of cheap ass fabric.

Thing is, those decorations are usually of the generic sort, representing guys like the Grim Reaper, or a version of Ghostface that isn’t really Ghostface. I’d never seen one based on a licensed character, let alone one as top shelf as Fred C. Krueger. Read More…

Halloween Color Blanks, Super-Sized!

During last year’s Countdown, I tossed up a ditty about RoseArt’s Halloween Color Blanks – the “naked” vinyl figures that come with really inky markers to help you to bring them to life.

I didn’t expect to be writing about them again, but the upgrade for 2013 is too major to skip. Not only is this year’s figure double the typical size, but there’s a GREEN LIGHT hiding in its chest. No matter how bad you are at drawing facial features on awkwardly shaped action figures, it’s still going to be okay in the end. This thing LIGHTS UP. Read More…

The Jones Soda 2013 Halloween Flavors!

They’re BACK.

The key points:

1. Jones Soda’s Halloween flavors have RETURNED.

2. This year, the collection includes Red Licorice, Candy Corn, Blood Orange and Caramel Apple.

3. I made a big long video about them!

Enjoy. I’m gonna go spend an hour doing nothing productive.

Spooky Old Cereal Prizes!

Longtime readers should remember my obsession with old cereal prizes. If you’re not a longtime reader: I’m obsessed with old cereal prizes.

You’ll still find free toys in certain boxes, but it isn’t like it used to be. Growing up, the competition between breakfast cereals seemed as much about the premiums as the flavors and mascots. If a kid loved Frosted Flakes and Trix equally, the freebie was always the deciding factor. We were even willing to give terrible cereals a try, so long as they had some quirky chunk of plastic hidden inside.

These were the quiet blips of instant pleasure that made getting up in the morning just a tiny bit easier.

Looking over my collection, I noticed that I had a fair amount of spooky-themed cereal prizes. Just enough to eke out a groggy Monday review.

Below are six ancient freebies totally suited to the Halloween season. I wrote about a couple of these years ago, but I’ve never taken photos of them over a cheap orange tablecloth made from the same material as lobster bibs. There’s more than one way to stay fresh. Read More…

Lucky Charms Halloween Treats!

Today was the day that all Targets were supposed to officially switch from “back to school” from “Halloween,” or so the said the rumor mill.

Turns out, the news was only partially true. I had to hit three different Targets to finally escape the spread of schoolbags and notebooks, but in the end, I hit the jackpot.

And boy, did I go overboard. A combination of hysteria and a massive hangover made me toss all reservations aside. I filled that red cart to the point where I could barely push it. If an item had even the remotest tie to Halloween, I had to have it.

Keep in mind, what you can kinda-sorta see in the above photo isn’t even the half of it. That was just “Round 1.” By the time I circled the aisles for Round 27, I’d convinced myself that the slivers of carrots in their bagged salads made them tried-and-true Halloween items. Basically, I’m a sick bastard, and the only ones benefitting are Target and American Express.

…which brings me to Lucky Charms Treats. One of today’s many scores. They’re not at the top of anyone’s Halloween shopping list, and yeah, they do sort of blend in with the less-exciting gamut of “special edition Halloween stuff that isn’t really special or Halloweeny.” But that’s only if you don’t look at them closely enough.

I did, and I was rewarded with one of the true dark horses of the season. These treats aren’t going to win the big race against Frute Brute or Ghoul-Aid, but they’re still going to TRY.

It’s a tall box of 25 mini-sized cereal bars, featuring Lucky in a sheet ghost costume. Love how he cut that extra hole for his four-leaf clover. Lucky knew that even the lightest sheet would crush that shit. Read More…