Dinosaur Dracula!

Meet GORZAK.

Introducing GORZAK, one of the best toys you’ve never heard of.

Made by Tyco in 1994, the battery-operated behemoth stood around fifteen inches tall, feeling much like a cousin of the Inhumanoids. Here’s the commercial, but I warn you: Nobody can watch this without making the acquisition of Gorzak their life’s mission.

GOOD. GOD.

Gorzak wasn’t part of a larger collection; from all I can tell, it was just him. The figures you saw Gorzak beating up in the commercial were of the generic or “prop” sort.

That just makes the monster even better. For a one-and-done, Tyco put a LOT into this guy. A high-end commercial combining a live shoot with custom animation, and that says nothing of the toy itself. I’m of the mind that Gorzak was originally meant to be a part of some existing line, because he’s just too amazing and intricate for such a random, singular release. Read More…

Old & New Halloween Gum!

This article is about GUM. New gum and old gum.

I’m grouping them together because they’re brothers from different mothers. The Big League Chew packages are new for 2013, while the mysterious “Shreds” are… well, actually, I have no idea when they’re from. 1977? 1995? All I know for sure is that they’re old enough to be poison, and recent events on Boardwalk Empire have left me fearful of rolling the dice. Read More…

Classic Creepy Commercials – Volume 1!

If you were reading last year, you’ll probably remember the Creepy Commercials Countdown, where I did reallllly long reviews of old spooky commercials all throughout October.

Given my failure to keep it updated last year, discontinuing the feature wasn’t a tough call. It took a little too much time away from other things, and besides, not every old commercial deserves a thousand word tribute.

Still, I didn’t want to drop the concept altogether, since there’s nothing like vintage TV ads to remind us of Halloweens past. This year, I’m gonna batch a bunch of ‘em up into single entries, with this being the first of several!

Just like last year, all of the commercials were donated by my friend Larry, who shouldn’t be confused with my other friend Larry. Thanks so much, mang! Over the course of this series, we’ll be seeing quite a few ads that have never been made available online before.

In today’s batch: Seven sinful solicitations, starring Play-Doh, batteries and Leslie Nielsen!

My Best Friend is a Vampire Movie Promo! (1987)

Not everyone who reads Dino Drac is into the brutal type of horror movies that I tend to feature, and that’s okay. There are plenty of films that fall under horror’s umbrella while forgoing the gore and major scares. This is one of ‘em.

My Best Friend is a Vampire is a lower-rent Teen Wolf, and as the title suggests, it swaps the werewolf out for a teenaged vampire. With a super young Robert Sean Leonard in the lead, it’s the story of a dopey kid coping with being a newborn vamp. The film is a romantic comedy mixed with a horror spoof, and includes nothing too gross or scary. Even so, its atmosphere is great for a Halloween movie night, so if you’re the type who prefers cheese over guts, give this one a shot! Read More…

Screamin’ Pumpkin Spice Chips Ahoywiches!

Hungry? Try these!

I’m calling them Screamin’ Pumpkin Spice Chips Ahoywiches. When you can’t come up with something clever, come up with something long.

Shown above is everything you’ll need. You could swap every ingredient out for another and make some other bizarre Halloween ice cream sandwich, but if you want to do it my exact way, grab the following:

* Halloween Chips Ahoy cookies
* Breyers “Cookies & Scream” OREO ice cream
* Pumpkin Spice M&M’s
* Sprinkles, preferably in Halloween colors

Eating something delicious was only one of my goals. The other was to make use of so many of this year’s Halloween food offerings, all at once. If this season ended without me doing something with Pumpkin Spice M&M’s, I’d be devastated. (Think I’m kidding? There’s a reason last year’s never-covered Candy Corn M&M’s are still in my kitchen cabinet. They’re the spoiled food version of a red string around my finger.)

Before I show you how to make ‘em, let’s have a closer look at the ingredients! Read More…

The Unknown Phantom Costume!

While killing a few minutes at Walmart last night, I stumbled upon a costume that I could NOT leave without. This one:

The UNKNOWN PHANTOM costume!

The chances of me actually needing a Halloween costume this year are slim, but who could turn this down? It’s a full-body reaper outfit with blinking demon eyes!

BLINKING. DEMON. EYES.

Watch me try it on. It’ll only take three and half minutes:

Thank you.