Dinosaur Dracula!

Five Great Old Cereals.

I own many ancient cereal boxes. Most of them live in plastic bins on a high shelf, trapped in cramped quarters with nothing to do except barely breathe. I believe it was the Dino Pebbles, or maybe the Smurfberry Crunch, that contacted me telepathically. “Brother, we need air.”

While I was obliging, I took some photos. Here are five old cereal boxes from my personal collection.


Dino Pebbles Cereal!

This was the first time Post tried something other than the standard “Fruity” or “Cocoa” Pebbles, and they didn’t mess around. As if giving Dino his own brand wasn’t enough of an irresistible novelty, the cereal came loaded with Dino-shaped marshmallows!

The multicolored marshmallows looked enough like Dino, but if you wanted to imagine them as music notes or super evolved Peeps, it wasn’t hard to do.

I especially like how the box shows Fred and Barney hiding behind a giant bowl. It’s as if they’re saying, “Dino, this is your moment.” Those proud papas.

More memorable than the cereal were its TV commercials. To see the flavor of the early ’90s completely captured in thirty seconds, just look at this one. It has everything from skating dinosaurs to an improvised rap! Read More…

eBay’s Mixed Lots = Works of Art.

I’d like to introduce you to one of my private passions: The eBay action figure “mixed lot.”

1 Seller: “bigpicr1” | Auction Link

There’s one example.

A “mixed lot” happens when a seller tosses random action figures into a pile, and offers them in one big batch. They’re amazing auctions, even when you have little reason to make a bid.

I started searching for mixed lots years ago, when it was still common to find good deals on eBay. Generally speaking, mixed lots go hand in hand with sellers who have no clue what they have. When you catch something desirable in the spread, it’s rarely mentioned in the auction title or description. This limits the competing bidders, and can make for great bargains. Read More…

Ninja Turtles Cereal from Dimension X.

If I told you that today’s article was gonna be about old Ninja Turtles cereal, what would you expect?


That stuff, right? Ralston’s infamous Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cereal, from 1989, or maybe 1990, or possibly even 1991. Adored by some, loathed by others, TMNT Cereal was nothing if not memorable.

Mixing thematic marshmallows with Chex NINJA NETS, it was a cereal that I personally found atrocious. Chex was one of those “adult brands” that I was only supposed to eat when I was old and gray and in need of calcium. They couldn’t fool me by adding marshmallows. That just made it worse.

It wasn’t until the first of my ten thousand TMNT Cereal reviews that I learned the truth: It did have fans. I only bought it because it was TMNT-themed and sometimes came with free plastic cereal bowls. Others genuinely enjoyed the taste. I won’t call them liars, but if I bet those people were… how can I put it? Changeable? Yes. Changeable.

So concludes my trick opening, because today’s article is in fact NOT about Ralston’s Mutant Chex, but rather an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT old Ninja Turtles cereal. Read More…

Stuff I found at Monster-Mania 27.


On Friday, we found ourselves back on the familiar floors of Cherry Hill’s Crowne Plaza, ready to drink through the latest Monster-Mania convention.

This was the 27th Monster-Mania. The first one I went to was only their third ever. Almost ten years later, and I still get a kick out it. I don’t know whether to find comfort or shame in the idea that I might still be going to these things twenty years from now.


I can’t give you a full convention report, because we were only there for a day, and we barely scratched the surface of what Monster-Mania has to offer. After meeting John and Jay at last August’s convention, we all became fast friends, and heading back on Friday was mainly an excuse to hang with them — albeit with the neat backdrop of total strangers wearing scary clown costumes.


See? Read More…

Free Stuff For Kids, from 1992!

Remember those book club flyers that we used to get in elementary school? I lived for those. Dinosaur books with ten words and fifty pictures! Sticker sheets starring ballerina bears that shouted various encouragements via word balloons! The errant Garfield bookmark!

Most of the time, the things I bought from those flyers only provided fleeting moments of joy. A smile, a quick browse, and I was ready to move on with my life.

In rarer cases, I’d find something awesome enough to completely change my life. Like the book I’m about to babble on about for seventeen disjointed paragraphs.


That’s the one. FREE STUFF FOR KIDS!

My sympathies to those for which this is news. Free Stuff For Kids was an annually-released collection of… well, free stuff for kids. Samples. Pamphlets. Doodads. Tiny things that cost absolutely nothing, and by “nothing,” I mean “up to a dollar.” The fine print is always a fucker.

I owned similar “free sample” books in my youth, but this was the only one that catered so directly to me. No longer was I forced to justify sending away for trial-sized packets of laundry detergent. With this book, the free stuff I went after was free stuff I actually wanted. Read More…