Dinosaur Dracula!

HALLOWEEN, 2014!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

For once in my life, I actually have plans tonight, so you’ll forgive me if this post has six more typos than usual.

I hope you’ve enjoyed Dinosaur Dracula’s 2014 Halloween Countdown! To tell you the truth, I’m not at all ready for it to end. Even with over 40 reviews in the can, I’d collected enough goodies for at least 15 more. I mean, I didn’t even get to write about the most ‘80s Halloween commercial ever!

(Thanks, Larry P., for donating that one. I cannot unsee it.)

But I guess the finiteness is part of what makes this season so special, right? If we were surrounded by Halloween all year, maybe its shine would dim. Maybe we’d stop being excited about plastic pails and dead leaves and little packets of Peanut M&M’s. I guess what I’m saying is… PLEASE GOD, GIVE US ONE MORE MONTH.

I came into this season wondering if it could ever top 2013’s, and while I’m not sure that is has, it’s come pretty damn close. Ghostbusters Donuts! Cheetos shaped like bones! Chia Zombies! And that’s just for starters! A solid 9 out of 10 for the 2014 Halloween season, and the only reason it isn’t a 10 is because I want people to think I put thought into the number.

Of course, Halloween is about more than the stuff you find in stores. It’s also about all of the little moments you create. I hope your season was full of chilly walks, pumpkin carving, scary movies on stormy nights, cocktails colored to resemble blood, and maybe a few solid hours with paper and crayons.

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I’ve had a blast with this year’s Countdown. I always leave it wishing I’d done more, but, all told, I’m pretty happy with this year’s “website haul.” I hope you are, too. These are some of the site’s busiest months, but what makes the Countdown so special to me is that a fair number of you look to it for your “Halloween fix.” I can’t thank you enough for being a part of this, because your patronage justified me devoting two entire months to nothing but Halloween. Which, if you think about it, was reward enough in itself.

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Poor Shrunken Apple Head is getting the shaft this year. Longtime readers know that it’s his birthday. I typically devote an entire post to the celebration, but there just wasn’t time. Sorry, buddy. I’ll make it up to you in November. I’ll take you to Costco and let you sample everything twice.

And speaking of narrowly missed marks, there are a few things I gotta plug before October ends!

#1: You can hear me on the Nerd Lunch Podcast’s Halloween episode. It’s me and three other guys. More accurately, it’s three guys with a fourth guy who’d very obviously never done a podcast before. Hear us talk about everything from Halloween costumes to Halloween candy! Thanks, Nerd Lunch, for like, letting me ramble like incoherently like.

#2: I spent most of the season watching familiar movies that I’ve already seen ten billion times, but Meet Me There was a new one. And a great one. I’m biased since my friend Brandon wrote it, but still! Meet Me There is sort of a psychological thriller mashed with a out-of-our-element horror movie, and as an added bonus, it features Dustin Runnels of WWE fame. It’s not available just yet, but I recommend putting it on your radar!

#3: I’ve plugged this before, but one last blast before it’s passé: I played a tiny part in The Sexy Armpit’s 2014 Halloween special, which is hilarious and also features cameos from some of my favorite internet people. Go check it out!

#4: Not really a “plug,” but just a catchall “thank you” to all of the people who helped promote the site during the Countdown, whether through retweets or Facebook shares or blog posts or high-priced skywriting. Super appreciated!

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I’ve been running giveaways for those Dinosaur Dracula trading cards, but it looks like fell short of my goal of 15. Let’s make up for that with this post. Today, I’m giving away FOUR sets! All you have to do is comment to enter. (Sorry, “n/t” or bullshit comments aren’t counted!) I’ll randomly select four winners on November 1st at 3PM. If you want to enter but don’t know what to talk about, just tell the world what you’re doing for Halloween.

(And thank you again, Magic Steve and friends, for doing such a terrific job on these!)

Halloween falling on a Friday is just so weird. Not weird in a bad way, but… weird. Will we successfully extend it into a weekend-long celebration, or will reading “November 1” on the calendar tomorrow effectively kill our spirit? I think you should play it safe and do as many Halloweeny things as possible, TODAY.

Even if you curl up on the couch with the lights off to watch the excessively trimmed network airing of It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, that’s good enough for me. Just don’t waste a day like this. You only get a day like this once a year.

Dinosaur Dracula will soon move onto its next season, but before it does, let’s raise our glasses to Halloween. The greatest time of year. I can’t wait to buy so much spooky shit for 75% off tomorrow.

Have an excellent Halloween!

Worried about the post-Halloween blues? Subscribing to Dino Drac’s monthly Funpacks could be the solution! Sign up now, and you’ll start with the November 2014 Funpack! Just a few days left to subscribe!

Five Ghoulish Ghostbusters Goodies!

Thanks largely to the media blitz surrounding its 30th anniversary, Ghostbusters seems hotter than ever. You know how I’m always saying that every Halloween season has “one thing” that ultimately sets it apart from every other Halloween season? In 2014, it’s gotta be Ghostbusters.

Let’s review. The movie returned to theaters. Krispy Kreme made some legendary donuts. There’s more GB merchandise now than ever before, since “doodad makers” have the luxury of catering both to kids and to old idiots like me. Tack on the confirmation of a new movie, and yeah, it’s been a great few months for GB fans.

All of the buzz inspired me to do one last Ghostbusters post before Halloween, so here are five random GB items from my collection. I’ve had some of these things for years, but most were recent pickups. You reading about them justifies me buying them, so thanks in advance!

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#1: Stay Puft Glow Mask! (1986)

I admit that I paid too much for this mostly-broken Halloween mask, but how could I resist? It’s Stay Puft! And, to the best of my knowledge, it’s pretty rare.

Cheap, plastic masks remind me of my earliest Halloweens, back when the ol’ mask-and-smock combo was the In Thing. (You know the kind. You’d get a crude plastic mask based on your favorite cartoon character, along with what was essentially an enormous lobster bib.) Had I spotted this Stay Puft gear back in ‘86, I most definitely would’ve been a Marshmallow Man for Halloween.

It’s worth noting that there isn’t a face this mask would fit. Even imagining myself with the head of a four-year-old, there’s just no way. I think it was sold less on the basis of “hey wear this” and more on the basis of “hey buy this because it’s a glow-in-the-dark Stay Puft head.” Challenge accepted, albeit 28 years late.

I can’t envision a scenario wherein I’d ever have a taxidermied deer head in my house, but I’m going to hang this mask in exactly the same fashion. It’s a trophy I can be proud of, and when I get up in the middle of the night to eat half a brick’s worth of Cracker Barrel cheese, Stay Puft’s faint glow will keep me from stubbing my toes on table legs. Read More…

Inhumanoids Monster Figures!

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I’ve been waiting a looooong time to do this post. Inhumanoids was one of the best toy lines of any decade, and if you’ve been with me for a while, you’ve read that sentiment more than a dozen times. Today, it’s finally time to show you why.

(Or you could just look at that photo. It explains everything in a nutshell.) Read More…

Dino Drac’s November Funpack!

NOTE: The deadline has passed for the November Funpack. To see what I’ve cooked up for December, click here!

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I know we’re still in Halloween mode, and thank God for that, but if you’ll pardon me this one exception, it’s time to debut Dino Drac’s NOVEMBER 2014 Funpack! (Available to those living in the United States only.)

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If you’re worried about those post-Halloween doldrums, I think November’s Funpack will be a great pick-me-up. It’s quite possibly my favorite one so far! Read More…