Dinosaur Dracula!

Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch Cereal!

1

I know everyone’s giddy over the return of French Toast Crunch, but don’t forget about this one!

Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch is the second of General Mills’s two new holiday-themed cereals. I covered Holiday Sprinkles Cookie Crisp a few weeks ago, and as great as it was, I think this stuff is even better.

Christmas decorations are my warm blanket, and this box hits so many of the best bullets. The icy background and oddly horizontal stocking are great, but I’m especially loving those old school “big bulbs.” The ones that you weren’t supposed to use inside, but did, because Christmas trees wearing those kinds of bulbs matched your living room’s illumination to that of a smoky cocktail bar. Read More…

I have crazy love for Santa Robot.

I’ve never been happier, and it’s all because of Santa Robot.

1

I don’t know who was responsible for Santa Robot, nor do I have any hard evidence of when he’s from. (Though given the similarities to Tomy’s old battery-operated robots, it’s a safe bet that Santa Robot is from the mid ‘80s.)

You’ll notice the crude “$2” scribbled on the box. For the record, I didn’t pay that. I paid far more than that, actually. I paid a price so hefty that if the end result was anything BUT Santa Robot, I’d feel so ashamed. Read More…

I bought a box of toys from eBay.

Back in March, I paid tribute to eBay’s action figure mixed lots — those being auctions for “bunches” of toys that sellers have neither the time nor interest to list individually. Even with the bazillion eyes perpetually scanning eBay, there are some great deals hiding in those listings.

Only rarely am I compelled to bid, but one recent auction really grabbed my attention:

toys

That one. With a $5 starting bid and no competition, I won it with ease. Now sure, the hefty shipping rate raised the total price to $20, but even that was a fair price for such an incredible assortment of absolute crap.

Almost every mixed lot is 80% junk, and this one was no different. The trick is to single out the few items that do have some value, and see if they’re enough to justify the total price. In this case, it was.

1

The toys arrived today, rather fittingly shipped in a stained box that appears to have once held loads of mailable fruit.

Let’s see what’s inside! Read More…

Make your own Virtual Christmas Tree!

TOP

This holiday season is going way too fast. Before you know it, it’ll be big boring depressing January. Don’t waste what little time we have left! Do things! Do stupid things that are only okay to do at this time of year!

I’m here to help. Tonight I’m gonna teach you how to make your own Virtual Christmas Tree. Above all else, it will be an excuse to mess with crayons and glue.

1

Step 1: Gather the materials!

Most importantly, you’ll need this image. Print it. That’s your paper tree. You’re going to make magic out of that paper tree.

You’ll also need crayons, scissors, glue, and access to a color printer. It occurs to me that nearly 40% of the things I do require the exact same set of materials. Read More…

Vintage Masters of the Universe Figures!

six

Since it’s Friday night and I live life to the fullest, I will now write 900 words about old Masters of the Universe figures.

In this post: A lobster man, a guy with three faces, another guy with a big hand, an alien rock dude, a pure robot, and finally a naked race car driver. Eternia was a hot mess.

1

Clawful!

Given my well-documented crustacean obsession, it should come as no surprise that I love this action figure. One of Skeletor’s ineffective henchmen, Clawful had one little claw and one GIANT claw, capable of “snapping” with the aid of a hidden lever.

Interestingly, while this figure portrays Clawful as a sort of masked pro-wrestler, the cartoon version was 100% lobster. Or maybe 100% crab. Clawful was never clear about that.

Both versions were great, but I think I prefer the way he’s seen here. Mainly because it lets me dream up an origin story wherein an everyday musclebound villain simply decided to start dressing like a lobster. What was the impetus? Read More…