Dinosaur Dracula!

Dino Drac’s “Envelopes of Evil” For Sale!

Hello! Since I want a raise but don’t have a boss to ask, it looks like I’ll have to grab the bull by the horns, or take the reigns, or whatever the saying is. I don’t know. Hey, look, I have Envelopes of Evil for sale!

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Note: This is a one time sale that is not connected to my monthly Funpacks. The Funpacks are still going strong, and they’ve been a blessed thing in helping me to continue the site, but since there’s an obvious financial ceiling with those, I’ve decided to occasionally do one-off sales to pick up the slack.

The Envelopes of Evil are priced at an even $20, and that include shipping. They’re only available in the United States. What’s inside? Well, look below! Read More…

Obscure Horror Toys found on eBay!

While searching eBay for goodies to cover during this year’s Countdown, I discovered several items that were perfect in every way… except price. I’ll take a dive on certain items, but I gotta stop short of paying 400 bucks for rubber sharks.

Still, some of those items were just too cool not to feature here, so if you’ll pardon me for borrowing photos from faraway eBay sellers, I think you NEED to see these seven Halloween and horror toys from decades past. If you’re a fan of monsters who just happens to be flush, go make some bids. I’ll be jealous as fuck.

Titles below link to the auction listings, and if you’re seriously interested in any of this stuff, I assume that most sellers would be willing to haggle. The rest of us will satisfy ourselves by ogling from afar!

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Halloween Monster!
Asking Price: $184.95

The Soma Toys company — no strangers to making bizarre figures with a quirky, generic appeal — really hit it out of the park with this guy. Originally (and more famously) known as 1986’s Monster Man, a quick upgrade to the packaging turned him into the official Halloween Monster!

He’s part of a larger series of similar figures, all equally weird, which seem to have been crafted as the low-rent, lower-price answer to Hasbro’s Inhumanoids.

It’s easily in the top ten figures that I simply MUST OWN before death, and while loose versions can be found for a hundred dollars cheaper, that tacky Halloween packaging is so worth paying double. Read More…

TV Guide listings for Halloween, 1990!

Remember when watching shows and movies mostly amounted to taking what we were given? We’ve come a long way from needing a TV Guide!

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…and yet, I strangely find myself missing that era, back before we had instant access to anything we wanted to see… not to mention an internet that’s gone out of its way to archive every conceivable thing that was ever broadcasted. Television just seemed more like an adventure back then — or maybe a slot machine.

The point? I came to be in possession of an old TV Guide issue, covering the last few days of October, 1990. They didn’t outright call it a Halloween edition, but considering the cover story about 1990’s sudden surge in horror-themed shows, I don’t think it’s a stretch for me to. Read More…

Candy Corn Cupcakes? Pumpkin Spice Twinkies?!

As you’ve probably surmised from prior articles, this is an amazing year for Halloween junk food. It’s everywhere! And so much of it is really, really good!

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…even the bigwig mainstays aren’t resting on their laurels, as evidenced by Hostess’s new TRIO of Halloween treats. (Oh, and if you remember last year’s Scary Cakes and Glo Balls — yep, those are back, too!)

Hostess normally spends the Halloween season providing their snacks with nifty “costumes.” This year, they’ve shifted the focus to exploring all-new flavors. If I had to describe the new collection in one word, it’d be “gourmand,” but spoken with a fake French accent and needlessly drawn-out.

All are limited edition, and there’s no telling if any will be back in 2016. The fact that I may become part of a relatively small pool of people who can accurately lay claim to having firsthand experience with Pumpkin Spice Twinkies? I can’t lie: It makes me proud. Read More…

Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 9!

It’s time for the next batch of Classic Creepy Commercials!

(If you read that in the voice of a game show announcer and hum happy music afterward, it becomes a stronger open.)

Collected below are another five spooky TV commercials from the ‘80s and ‘90s, covering everything from toys to movies to a TV show I’ve never watched. Some of these are from my collection; the rest, as usual, were donated by Larry P.

Enjoy the show! (Or the commercial break. Whatever.)

Slime Time Watches Commercial! (1986)

One of the less remembered “gross-focused ‘80s toy lines,” Slime Time was a series of digital watches released by Hasbro, each nestled somewhere under (or in) a “creepy” rubber animal. (Frogs and snakes were included, as was the line’s high point: An adorable black bat.)

Wearing the whole mess on your wrist, the toys were part functional, part decorative, and part flabbergastingly insane. I loved them, but I imagine that I was in the minority of kids who might look at a garter snake and think, “Someday, I hope I get one of you, but as a timepiece.”

My inner conspiracy theorist says that Hasbro was going to lose the rights to the killer “Slime Time” name if they didn’t do something with it, and after an all-hands-on-deck last minute brainstorm, we got a frog with a clock down its gullet. Thank God! Read More…