Make your own Toucan Sam!

Before today, it’d been a long time since my last box of Froot Loops.

Don’t get me wrong. Froot Loops is great, but for me, it was always a rebound. If one of the cereals I really liked did something to piss me off, I’d slide back to Froot Loops for a bit, and then, when I was ready, try something new.

It’s tasty stuff and it’s been around forever, but there’s only so hard I can fall for a smug bird with a nose obsession.  Noses are gross.

Still, I had a good reason to hop into Toucan Sam’s nest again.  Look closely at the latest Froot Loops box, and you’ll spot it.

“You can make your own Toucan Sam.”

That’s how you do it, Kellogg’s. Toucan Sam may be an icon, but he’s also eerily similar to Generic Grandpa. This guy needs the boost, and I don’t need to consult Merriam-Webster to know that making Toucan Sam out of cut up cardboard is the exact definition of “boost.”

With the aid of scissors and the patience of Saint Monica, you can fashion your very own Toucan Sam “blockhead.” On the other hand, if you leave the box alone, Toucan Sam looks like a deranged moose. Decisions!

Even if Toucan Sam got top billing, he isn’t why I bought Froot Loops again. I did it for the Iguana.

I’m sure Iguana has been in a few Froot Loops commercials, but I haven’t seen them. He could be a friend of Sam’s, an enemy, or something in-between. I really don’t know, and I really don’t care. He’s a mean-faced aquamarine lizard, wearing a Froot Loops necklace for what are sure to be darkly religious reasons. No matter where his loyalties lie, Iguana rules.

Making Froot Loops blockheads is neither easy nor fun. The box suggests parental supervision, but I believe this transcends merely finding someone who is more capable with a pair of scissors. Creating my cardboard Toucan Sam bordered close to impossible. He’s covered in enough Scotch Tape to have my fingerprints forever protected within his seams.

Admittedly, I’m not perfect at this sort of thing. I did the best I could, and “the best I could” amounted to the monstrosity pictured above. If the version shown on the front of the box looked like a neatly rectangular Toucan Sam, mine looks like some kind of Sam-themed bird feeder.

If Toucan Sam is the type to pull seed from a container that looks like him, I’m glad I buy Froot Loops so infrequently.

Saving the day is my pal, Iguana. He was just as hard to make, but the rewards were so much greater. I think back to when I was a more appropriate age for cereal box art projects, and I know I would’ve been absolutely hell-bent on keeping my Iguana blockhead safe. This wasn’t one of those things that I’d create, look at and sit on in the span of two minutes.

I’m sure that half of what I write seems like a put-on, but this isn’t: I really, really want to make a little house for Iguana. I could use a shoebox or something. If this is something that you absolutely do not want to see on Dinosaur Dracula, you might want to speak up. If left to my own devices, the next post will almost certainly be a tour of Iguana’s new shoebox house.

It would only take a minute to Google “Froot Loops” and find out if these guys are friends or enemies, but I don’t want to. I’ve decided that they are enemies, fighting over Froot Loops cereal. Toucan Sam wants to save it for his young friends, because he’s a secret jerk with an insatiable need to be the hero. Iguana just wants to make a lot of jewelry.

I’m rooting for Iguana. I know that all of you are, too.

  • Cameron T.

    I expect this shoebox house to be magnificent, I tell you.

    Magnificent!

  • Doc Prop

    My need to see Iguana’s house is as strong as your desire to make it.

  • kingklash

    The Sam/Iguana ad has just started airing this week. Igsy is just another in a long line of antagonists Sam and his nephews have been irritating these past years, as they “explore” the Loops-based world they seem to inhabit. Froot Loops seem to infest the very environment, and Sam wants to reclaim them for his own needs, like a weird combo of an Anime “collect them all” show and the “Armor Wars” storyline from Iron Man.

  • MimiTheMuse

    Extra points if Igsy is going to sell the Fruit Loops jewelry on etsy. A little shellac and he can afford the house we’re all hoping you build him, Matt. ;)

  • http://www.crowncombo.com Mystie

    Considering the Iguana has a necklace made of cereal pieces, I don’t think he’d be too particular in his housing requirements. Just glue some graham crackers together.

  • Shawn

    The Iguana is the hero. Toucan Sam and his underlings are the villains. All you see is that group finding other creatures homes that enjoy the fruity goodness of Fruit Loops and then claiming that they belong to them instead. Toucan Sam is like a door to door sales man that not only interrupts your dinner but decides to set a place for himself as well.

  • Goob

    It would of been more precise of you to cut it out with a box cutter. I think the Lizard is looking for a bong hit and then a bowl of froot loops. And I really hate prizes that make you cut up the box. That isn’t a prize. A piece of plastic inside a clear plastic bag is a prize.

  • mandy_Franken_Knee_Reeves

    make the iguana have gold colored fruit loops in a treasure chest! and little sparklies…give him a throne and make the seat out of felt.

  • velouria_78

    Is this still the place where all the cool kids go when it’s 3:30 in the morning and you’re watching Scrooged in August?

  • http://traveling-pics.livejournal.com/ Yelinna

    The Iguana is the best of the couple. I don’t like the toucan Sam, he is like an stereotypical cartoony “Good Guy”. Boring! I prefer evil-looking Igsy the Iguana!! :D

  • http://leatherandmetal.tumblr.com Annette

    velouria_78: It is as far as I know!

  • Mr. Goatbreath

    A movie version of this conflict is in the works, to be directed by M. Night Shyalamalamalaaaa. I have an inside scoop about the ending: *SPOILERS AHOY*

    Toucan Sam and Iguana fight at the precipice of a volcano and Toucan Sam strangles Iguana to death with his own froot loop necklace. The toucan laughs with maniacal triumph, for all of the world’s froot loops are finally HIS. But then he looks down at the corpse in his arms… one of its eyes cracks open, revealing it to be a hollow shell. The toucan is merely holding a shed skin, with the Iguana nowhere to be found. The froot loop necklace is also missing. Cut to

    “THE END(?????????????????)”

    Roll credits.

  • Joker

    Makes me want to go eat some Fruit Loops, haven’t had them in a while either.

  • Dragonstorm

    I just saw this commercial the other day and the accompanying promotion for the the block-character project. I thought to myself had this been the 80′s I could expect a figurine of the iguana, which looks even cooler in the commercial than it does on the box. Sadly as others have pointed out the toys-in-cereal-box phenomenon seems to be a thing of the past. :(

  • Matt B

    Fruit Loops, huh? Why does so much traumatize me from my childhood?!?

    I clearly remember my brother and I were learning how to shoot rubber bands at each other. And unknowingly ate one of those things thinking it was a soggy fruit loop. I could tell as it went down my throat-IT WAS NOT! And I never ate them again!

    I just gagged while having that memory!

  • PumpkinJack

    Dino Drac is the first google result for Froot Loops iguana. You must be so proud

  • kingklash

    If you cut out Sam (sometimes the commercials make me jump, ’cause that’s my given name) and leave off the section to the left, and not fold him up, he looks like some kind of moose.

  • Brian

    Mr Goatbreath…WHAT A TWIST!!!!

  • http://www.nyteworks.net LBD “Nytetrayn”

    Count me in on the “Yes to Iguana House” party.

  • http://ontheline.lastrevelation.org Reaibn

    We all want to see this shoebox house.

  • SuperJ

    Iguana, yes.
    House, yes.
    More DinoDrac, YES!

  • Aguyreadingthisblog

    These are the grossest cereals ever made after Trix cereals. I never liked them. And I still don’t understand what other people like in them… The milk just turn into a disgusting color and the taste just no comment I prefer normal honey cereals with a fruit than this…

  • Mathew

    Wish these were Lego compatible… Still very cool!!!

  • Jered

    I wonder if Iggy is a boy or girl Iguana?

  • http://dinosaurdracula.com lyria denay menifee

    how do you make a caracter? I dont see how and i want to kno if u have to make an account to make a caracter.

  • DJ WELLS

    if that is how they look then i dont want to cut them out and make them because it is HIDEOUSE

  • Sensei John Kreese

    I recently saw that they still have boxes of Froot Loops with the Make-Your-Own-Toucan Sam and iguana.

  • ryan miller

    I can’t believe what this man,: (Aguyreadingthisblog @ 09/11/2012 7:51 AM) just said about those cereals.