Red Robin’s Wolverine Burger!

There’s a new Wolverine movie coming out next month. I know nothing about it.

But I noticed that the internet was going crazy this morning, when news broke of a pair of Wolverine-themed hamburgers now available at Red Robin:



I live for silly, fleeting promotions like this! Just imagine the events that led people to decide that hamburgers were the best way to raise awareness about a Wolverine movie. I think about that, and I marvel.

This was not something to be experienced from afar. I needed to be on the front line. I was willing to break a decade-long abstinence from shopping mall restaurant chains to make it happen. I was going to find this beef, eat it, and hopefully live to tell the tale.

Red Robin was almost empty. Thank God. I knew this was going to involve lots of photos, and the last thing I needed were table neighbors who wouldn’t stop staring at the freak who kept taking pictures of his hamburger. Turns out, you don’t need pride to have shame.

Oh good, they had it. THE BERSERKER BURGER. That’s the one I wanted. Red Robin also has a second Wolverine-themed burger, but from what I could tell, it’s topped with eight pounds of weird slaw.

I don’t do slaw. Even Wolverine isn’t enough to get slaw a pass.

I’m not completely sure what the “Berserker” title refers to. I know Wolverine sometimes pulls that “berserker rage” thing in the comics, but for all I know, it could be the name of the new movie’s villain. Or maybe Red Robin wanted to pay tribute to John Nord’s stunning turn as the pro-wrestling Viking who loved to say “huss.”

After a seeming eternity, out it came. The Berserker Burger is served with steak fries, and though I didn’t realize it at the time, fry refills are free. I did read “bottomless fries” on the menu, but the little cup they served them in actually had no bottom. It was like a big Egyptian bracelet masquerading as a fry container. (I found this out the hard way.)

I guess it was stupid to think that Red Robin named their fries after the shitty containers they serve them in. Maybe that 22-ounce Stella was really a 60-ounce.



Highlights:

1. Big oily brioche bun. The kind of bread that sweats just sitting there. Note the Wolverine claw marks!

2. Slab of beef.

3. Thick slice of cheddar. Good color on it, too. Not quite orange, but not quite yellow. It was some miraculous midpoint between the two.

4. “Sriracha onion straws.” God damn, there were a LOT of Sriracha onion straws. This burger had a veritable wig of fried onion. (I didn’t really taste the Sriracha.)

5. Hidden underneath the lettuce and tomato were several slices of spicy pickles.

6. The sauce was “zesty aioli,” which sounded like code for “pink mayonnaise” to me. I got it on the side and was happy to ignore it. I was gonna gain ten pounds from this even without the zesty aioli. I needed to draw a line somewhere.

I admit that my photos make it look like a big glob of garbage, but the presentation really was quite pretty. It looked like a special hamburger.

It was good! Really, truly good! And somehow way lighter than a big ass burger topped with five thousand fried onions sounds like it should be. I’d anticipated this to be one of those burgers that immediately balloonifies all who dare to eat it, but I walked out of Red Robin feeling fine. Nobody had to roll me.

Would I recommend it? Of course! It’s a limited edition Wolverine hamburger! It tastes good, but that’s not relevant. People like us are supposed to eat things like this. Even if it’s just for the conversational fodder.

“Hey friend, I had one of them Wolverine hamburgers yesterday.”

“I HEARD ABOUT THOSE! How was it?”

“The cup of fries had no bottom. I spilled giant steak fries all over the table.”


95 Responses to Red Robin’s Wolverine Burger!

  1. 1) “I think about that, and I marvel.”
    I see what you did there. ;)

    Dammit, you stole my comment! *shaking my fist in your general direction*

  2. Onions make ME ragey. I hate them.

  3. There are two places I must visit before I die: Zombie Burger and the new Simpsons world (food court?) at Universal in Florida.

  4. I love that there is a non-fast food restaurant tie-in to “The Wolverine,” but neither of those burgers look appetizing to me. Aside from condiments, the only thing I want on my burger is cheese and bacon. Not even lettuce and tomato…to paraphrase Alton Brown, if you want lettuce and tomato, eat a salad. Also, I hate lettuce and tomato. And onions. I might have to go to Red Robin, though, to get one of those fry bracelet things. And a freckled lemonade. Their freckled lemonade is SO GOOD.

    Hardee’s (and maybe Carl’s Jr?) has a burger tie-in to “Man of Steel” that I tried the other day. The Super Bacon Cheeseburger. It was wondermous.

  5. I didn’t mention this before, but the idea of refills on fries (and free!) amazes me. :)

  6. Carl’s Jr. does indeed have the Super Bacon Cheeseburger, too. Maybe I’ll give it a try.

  7. What exactly is freckled lemonade? I’ve never heard of it before.

  8. It’s basically lemonade with strawberries in it…it’s REALLY good.

  9. Coleslaw is the nastiest food on the planet.

  10. You’re a brave man. I’m not a fan of Red Robin. Thank you for trying this for your readers.

  11. I’m a big fan of Red Robin, as far as those type of steakhouse franchise restaraunts go. I think its the way they season the burger. Sometimes you bite into a Red Robin burger made with the exact ingredients you were dreaming of, and it’s freakin’ valhalla.
    But I also like a good whopper or big mac sometimes too.

  12. We have a Red Robin somewhere close to us, not in a mall, and its one of our favorite places to eat out at. Don’t know why but the atmosphere just works for us. Its not stuffy, but its not zany. Helps that the food is really good too.

    As for this promotion.. I really can’t fathom, out of everywhere they COULD have gone, why they’d go with Red Robin.. I mean.. its not really fast food, no matter how hard they try to sell Red Robin as fast food sometimes. Seems like a promotion like this needs to be at a fast food place, not a “dining establishment” Fox (not Marvel this time) must have been out of their minds (or Red Robin is looking to make more money through Promos like this –hell, I might be eating there tonight, just to see if they have these on the menu, so they win already)

  13. To the people who don’t like coleslaw, I can only say “that (may) be because you haven’t had good coleslaw.” I stayed away from it for years, but had to try it in one of the classes for my culinary arts program (seriously, it was mandatory. Kitchen Service practical experience thing, we had to know what we were making and sending out the door). Well made coleslaw is pretty good.

    That said, Red Robins’ coleslaw is not well made. The samurai slaw may be better. I’d probably ask if I could try some first before ordering it, though.

  14. Prompted me to try one of these when I was at a RR restaraunt, I actually loved the thing!

  15. I know I’m late to the party, but that last line cracked me up. Good job.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *