Vintage Vending #3: Button-Button!
I know you were expecting a full tour of Iguana’s house, but I haven’t had a chance to complete it yet. My printer isn’t being cooperative, and without going into detail on why I need a printer to build a house for a paper lizard, I assure you that I absolutely do.
So that will have to wait.
For the moment, let’s knock out another edition of Vintage Vending. It seems just brainless enough for me to pull off on four hours sleep and with enough crud in my eyes to be 80% blind.
Button – Button, or so they called it. Likely released in 1990, this collection represents nearly everything I was obsessed with at the time. Honestly, if you replaced one of the Batman buttons with something from Gremlins 2, I’d have no choice but to marry this vending machine teaser card.
Of the dozen buttons featured, only one would’ve been a disaster for me – and no, it isn’t Madonna. It’s that “Born to Shop” deal. Aside from being a generic fool in a sea of licensed glories, a predisposition for shopping was not something I’d have been comfortable advertising.
Before I dive into the others, let’s not-literally talk about the title of this display.
“Button – Button. Who’s got the buttons?”
I feel like that must be a play on a line from some song, but it’s not coming to me. The closest I can get is Jeepers Creepers.
“Jeepers, Creepers. Where’d you get them peepers?”
“Button – Button. Who’s got the buttons?”
It only works if you really, really want it to.
Actually, no, it doesn’t work at all. So all I’ve really established is that the umbrella title for these buttons was in no way a nod to Louis Armstrong. Sorry, Satchmo.
Even though there was a Ninja Turtles button right there, I think I would’ve preferred the Simpsons one.
I’m sure I’ve told this story before, but back in elementary school, I was the very first kid to wear a Simpsons t-shirt. It wasn’t even an official one – just some bootleg my brother picked up in the city, which went from white to salmon pink the first time I washed it. I’ll never forget the day I debuted that baby in school. The sad truth is that I’ve never been that popular again.
Of course, since my first Simpsons shirt was such a hit, I saw no choice but to keep getting more of them. Eventually, there was a school-wide ban on Simpsons clothes (some had light cussing on ‘em), but I’m sure I could’ve gotten away with a button. Had I encountered this vending machine back in 1990, I damn well would’ve tried.
Love-love-love this Ghostbusters 2 button. It’s licensed, but it looks more like a promotional pin than something I would’ve been able to buy anytime, anyplace. I envision it on the thin vests of video store worker bees, who, at the insistence of Columbia Pictures, had no choice but to alert customers that Ghostbusters 2 was available to rent. Maybe they hated wearing “Slime Time” buttons, but I sure wouldn’t have.
I guess now would be the time to apologize for the photo quality in this review. The entire teaser card was laminated, and through the years, a lot of dust has gotten trapped in there. Dust always becomes so much more prominent in photos, to the point where the one above looks like it’s been tweaked with the one-two punch of a sepia overlay and Gaussian blur.
It hasn’t. It’s just really old and dusty.
It’s strange that I haven’t written about Dick Tracy more often, because I was obsessed with that movie. And the toys. And the trading cards. And pretty much everything else that came in canary yellow.
I couldn’t have cared less about Dick Tracy, mind you. For me, the movie was all about its villains.
I was especially infatuated with “Itchy,” the low-level mobster who talked funny and constantly scratched himself. I didn’t want to be Itchy, but I sure wanted to look like him.
Cursed God for giving me good eyes, because my biggest dream was to wear glasses. Cursed Macy’s for sticking with blacks and grays, because once I met Itchy, I desperately wanted his royal blue trenchcoat.
Years later, the guy who played Itchy would resurface as the guy who played Ruth’s Russian boyfriend on Six Feet Under. STILL BLOWS MY MIND.
I eventually settled on a Dick Tracy Halloween costume, primarily for its cheap yellow trenchcoat, which was more like a backwards apron. I have the distinct recollection of embarrassing my family by wearing it out to dinner one night. In my defense, it was just a Sizzler.
I loved that movie wholly and truly, so even the Madonna-as-Breathless button would’ve been okay with me. I wouldn’t wear it in public, but as any kid who had a bulletin board knew, these buttons doubled nicely as corky décor. Breathless would’ve had her purpose. Like Mewtwo, that was all she really wanted.
Gonna need a little help with this one. It’s too distinct to be generic, but I can’t place it. Originally thought that it might’ve been something from the world of My Pet Monster, but that doesn’t seem quite right.
In what’s probably a hint, the button has the word “Biface” on it. “Biface” sounds like an accurate description of a part-boy, part-monster, but all I’m getting from Google are pictures of stone tools that look like fossilized shark teeth.
Mystery aside, I dig the button. It’s hard to dislike the idea of a child who spends portions of his days as a drooling bulldog.
Now, let’s go back to that photo of the whole spread. Which button would you pick? If you say the California Raisin, you’re just trying to be different.
PS I usually italicize movie titles and brand names. This time, I didn’t. It was an artistic choice, and I stand by it.
PPS: My God. The “Who’s got the buttons?” stuff comes from a children’s game referenced by no less than Willy Goddamned Wonka. Thanks for the tip, Cesar. I feel dumb, but not dumb enough to ninja edit, because when else will I have the chance to pull out a Louis Armstrong reference?
It’s slime time is just so simple but awesome. If it were neon green it would be perfect.
I remember liking the movie Dick Tracy well enough when I was a kid, but I guess I was too young to really “appreciate” appreciate it. I had the trading cards, but I don’t remember being obsessed with anything to do with the movie… and for the record, I probably would’ve went for either Simpsons button as a kid, Ghostbusters now. Or “Born to Shop” solely for the unfitting font.
TMNT all day, everyday. Add in a Jason Voorhees and WWF/WCW button and you’ve got my favorite moments from childhood in button form.
Enjoying my last weekend for being able to bend my knee for a few months. Watching Carwash on Netflix. Wow…never saw this before…oh and are you jealous that I had about all but one of those buttons? And I had a Bartman shirt. Summer ’90 was a BLAST! I even had a Dick Tracy sleeping bag and a Breathless Mahoney doll
On one hand, I’m stoked at the prospect of some new seasonal featured articles headed our way with the arrival of September, but on the other, I know that means that the “Friday the 13th Box Rankings” graphic up in the features banner is going to get bumped off eventually, and I’m honestly going to hate to see it go, as it just looks so damn good up there, especially with it being dead-center below DinoDrac himself.
I loved the Dick Tracy movie..
And one of my best friends, unable to get a limo for her wedding, got an old fashioned car to ride in… and it was featured in the movie! AND I GOT TO RIDE IN IT!
i totally had that california raisins pin
I would totally 100% have picked Bartman. I had a Bart Simpson shirt which I wore proudly back in 1990, so it would have been a no-brainer. Ninja Turtles might have come a close second – and I, too, was among the first kids my age (5 in 1990) to wear Ninja Turtles shirts. They were also bootleg, and sold by street vendors. My mum got me a couple, including one in a hideous shade of green and another with Donatello on it (even though I was a Mikey mark, I didn’t complain).
Another fun fact is that back then (1989-1991), the town we spent a part of our summers at had a button shop, and I would go in there and just pick the coolest designs. As a result, I had Whitesnake, AC/DC, Skid Row and Helloween pins before I even know who those bands were! A few years ago, I lent my AC/DC to my sister to put on her backpack (yes, it’s still done) and she lost it. I was livid – not only are AC/DC my favourite band, but how am I supposed to replace a vintage AC/DC button from 1989?! Oh well, my bad for being a trusting moron…
Definitely tough choices. It’s a toss up between the Batman button on the right, ghostbusters, and TMNT. I was very big into those back then. If I was forced to make a choice, it would have to be ghostbusters. Huge ghostbusters fan here.
“Button Button, who’s got the button?” is also said by Tweedledee and Tweedledum in the Disney Alice In Wonderland thing…
Bi-Face looks similar to the designs on a series of pogs called Chupa Caps – but they were a whole five years after these badges were out!
Matt – - Your latest article has inspired me to add both the TMNT movies and soundtracks to my Amazon wish list. Yes, I admit it, back in the day I enjoyed the ‘Turle Power’ rap song from the origional film.
Oh I remember sporting Simpson apparel. I also remember wanting a California Raisen shirt and my dad refusing to buy it only to find out later they were raisens and not turds in shoes. He got another on his way home from work one day. Pretty awesome dad.
I agree with Matt. 1990 was ALL about The Simpsons. I also had a bootleg Simpsons shirt. Mine was of Maggie and it said, “Watch it man, Bart’s my brother.” Instead of her usual blue baby gown, she was in a hideous neon pink one but I loved the shirt just the same.
I still own my “Don’t Have a Cow, Man” t-shirt.
I’ll give it to a deserving kid, but only if they write me a personal statement as to why they deserve such a wonderful gift
V Langs Your post just placed an image in my head of a scruffy little scamp sitting down at an old desk with an ink pot and quill, pouring his heart in a solemn, verbose plea for a Simpsons Tee. So thank you.
RE Button Button Who’s Got the Button- I always think of GO ASK ALICE that God-awful fake “diary” of a girl in the 70′s.
From Wikipedia: In Go Ask Alice, the kids at the party play Button, Button, Who’s Got the Button, where the “button” is an LSD spiked can of soda. The diarist gets the spiked can of soda, which leads to her subsequent drug binge.
Simpsons, then TMNT, then Ghostbusters. For sure.
This is the Wikipedia article with where the heck the slogan came from for this machine. You should update this post with this info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Button,_Button,_Who's_Got_the_Button%3F
If I had seen these in 1990 I definitely would have gone for the Turtles movie pin,as Batman was cool, but not rad(this was ’90 after all)!
The runner-up would have been Bartman, since I had a similar poster on my wall and the Bartman action figure from the first line of Simpsons figures(still do actually).
Third place goes to the Dick Tracy silhouette, since I really dug the movie, had the trading cards and few figures (but could never get The Blank, dang it!).
WOW those buttons bring back memories. I would have for sure wanted the bottom Simpsons one (no Bartman, thanks) and maybe the TMNT one, although I preferred the poster for TMNT II: The Secret of the Ooze more.
As kid I always stood out, so I would have to go for the Raisin Badge as 1 of my picks – however it would be followed by the Turtles, Ghostbusters, The 60′s looking Bat Symbol and either of the Simpson Buttons – Although I think Bartman would have won out on those two.
As for the ones I would hate Born to Shop has got to be number 1 unless your a girl (J/K), the others would be Dick Tracy.
“Button, button. Who’s got the button (no “s”)?” is a quote from the original (well, only imo) Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Just found the new site today. I love it, keep up the great work.
I’ve got Bartman, The Simpsons, & TMNT. I even know exactly where they are. Amazing.