Rented by: Sasha & Leonard
Hey! Welcome to the apartment of Sasha and Leonard! Sasha used to rent the place out by himself, but because he doesn’t make much money translating toaster oven instruction manuals from Portuguese into Swahili, he was forced to find a roommate. Sasha found Leonard where any respectable person would go to get a clown’s head in a jar as a roommate, Craigslist.
Because neither of them has any arms or legs, they have been forced to hire out a veritable fleet of six-toed helper cats to do their bidding. In the photo is Sabbath. Sabbath’s favorite recording artist is Julio Iglesias… you shouldn’t make assumptions about people, or cats.
You may think that Sasha is dressed in a peculiar fashion, but there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for this. As a boy, Sasha didn’t have men’s fashion magazines to derive his own personal style from. All he had were World War II propaganda posters and old photographs of Tupac. Sasha believes we are all products of our environment.
Some people have accused Sasha of being somewhat of an alcoholic in the past. This isn’t true at all. Sasha really just likes to drink out of fabulous glasses. His favorite is the orange guy in the top left who looks like he’s about to sneeze.
You’re in luck, you’ve made it for poker night and the boys have invited all three of their friends! On the couch you have Jesus; his eyes still haven’t quite adjusted to the bright summer sun. On the right you have Cerberus, the three-headed dog who guards the gates of Hades. Cerberus has been known to cheat and look at other people’s cards, but he does really enjoy fetching refreshments and snacks for everyone, so he more than makes up for his character flaws. Finally you have the Maori Pineapple Monster. That’s really a misnomer, he volunteers at Habitat for Humanity every second Tuesday. He thinks that more than makes up for all of the souls he devours.
Anyways, thanks for stopping by! Next time bring some salsa or a dip!