The Mausoleum of Madness, Part II!
Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula’s MAUSOLEUM OF MADNESS, PART II! Every day through Halloween, check back for another vintage creepy collectible – everything from deep cut toys to ancient store displays to at least one totally insane costume. Probably ten cereal boxes, too.
I won’t be plugging this on social media much, so you’ll have to remember to visit on your own. Maybe stick an orange Post-It on the fridge. (Yes, it must be orange.)
PS, if you missed last year’s Mausoleum of Madness, it’s over here.
#53: Monster Bash Mega Banner! (1993)
This is a TEN-FOOT retail banner celebrating the Pepsi / Doritos 1993 “Monster Bash” campaign, where the Universal Monsters encouraged us to spend Halloween guzzling soda and devouring chips.
There were a number of point-of-purchase displays tied to that promotion, and they turn up on the collectors’ market surprisingly often. This one, though, I’ve only seen once. I was quick to grab it, because my policy with ten-foot junk food banners has always been, “buy first, figure out where to fuckin’ put it later.”
Given the size and the weatherproof material, I’m thinking these were meant to be hung on long fences or the sides of buildings. If they actually were inside stores, maybe they would’ve covered the long rows of windows at the front of supermarkets.
The big highlight is the inclusion of the Invisible Man, who was the Halloween mascot for – of course – Crystal Pepsi. While the other monsters on that banner was around for multiple Pepsi/Doritos promos in the ‘90s, the Invisible Man only got one shot, thanks to Crystal Pepsi’s grisly, premature death.
#52: Ronrico Rumkin Ad! (1982)
Even when I still drank, rum was never my thing. I’d only endure the spirit when enticed by a particularly ornate tiki glass. Despite that, the Ronrico Rumkin – a special Halloween cocktail, you see – doesn’t sound half bad!
It’s just rum and orange juice with a splash of grenadine, stirred into what kinda sorta qualifies as a creepy cocktail thanks to its pumpkinish color. (The cute witch and potentially phony cat did the heavy lifting to give this ad any seasonal flair. On its own, nobody would look at the Ronrico Rumkin and think “Halloween.”)
The drink does sound classy, I’ll give it that. When it comes to Halloween and alcohol, we’re either dealing with cheap beer or novelty cocktails. The Ronrico Rumkin, by contrast, seems like something you’d sip alone at night, maybe while reading select volumes of Time-Life’s Mysteries of the Unknown.
#51: Telco Devil Motionette! (1989)
When I got into Telco’s Halloween Motionettes, it seemed like I’d only ever admire the Devil from afar. I’d probably never even see it in person, much less have one in my possession. He was too rare. Too valuable. TOO RED.
But, somehow, he’s here. There are a few versions of the 24″ Devil Motionette; this particular example is the 1989 “bug-eyed” edition, distinguishable by his psychotic yellow irises. I paid what some of you might consider a lot, but what a Telco collector would instantly recognize as a wild bargain.
There’s good news and bad news. The good news is, he’s in fabulous condition. Even came with the original pitchfork (not pictured), still in its factory bag. The bad news is, his motor ain’t working, so at present, he doesn’t move. I knew this when I bought him, though, and at the price I paid, he was still worth getting.
He could be fixed, but I’m not emotionally prepared to handle Motionette surgery. Not gonna press my luck. He’s a beautiful, demented, two-foot devil, and that’s good enough for me. This week, at least.
The crazy thing is, I’m not even sure that this would qualify as my biggest Telco score of the season. It arguably was, given the Devil’s popularity, but I’ve found a few others that might be even more impressive. I’ll tell you about them later, though. Today is all about the impish lord of the underworld. Give the Telco Devil his due. Read More…