Creepy Commercials

By the time you read any edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, it’s just words on a page and some embedded videos. What you don’t see is the long, ridiculous process involved with obtaining these old TV spots. I hunt for vintage TV commercials all year long, and I’m always gunning f

This edition of Classic Creepy Commercials features everything from candy to Candyman. It’s kind of my “cleanout special,” as I’ve been sitting on some of these spots since last year. What I like about this particular assortment is how off-the-nose it is. When you want to dig up me

There are some heavy hitters in this edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, and then also stuff that you definitely won’t remember. I prefer my articles to have polar extremes. Kick back with exactly 150 seconds’ worth of spooky old TV spots, yanked from my tape collection: Real Ghostb

Time for a new edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, a series that’s been part of every Halloween Countdown on Dino Drac! Throughout the year, I rescue spooky old TV commercials from my collection of VHS tapes. As tempting as it is to show them off as soon as they’re uncovered, I forc

Whether you’re into Freddy Krueger, Universal Studios or KILLER ROBOT CABBAGE PATCH KIDS, this edition of Classic Creepy Commercials will satisfy your weird craving. Enjoy: Freddy’s Holiday Party Contest! (1988) Stay with me here, because it gets convoluted! If you lived in Portlan

In this edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, you’ll see everything from an ophidian drug dealer to grainy Ghoulies. What fun we’ll have! These spots are older than you, and so am I. If you missed Volume 26, click here. If you miss Dairy Queen’s Cotton Candy Blizzard, click here

Get set for the 26th edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, featuring spooky ads that I rescued from decaying VHS tapes. This series is as old as Dino Drac itself, and it wouldn’t be the Halloween Countdown without a few new chapters! The Real 976-EVIL Hotline! (1988) If you’ve never s

Well, here’s the 25th (!!!) edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, which’ll also be the last edition posted during this year’s Halloween Countdown. (I hate how final that sounds. Can I take it back?) I wasn’t expecting to find enough ads for another chapter, but two friends cam

Get set for the 24th edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, where I rescue ads from wheezing VHS tapes and willfully ignore the too-scratchy audio. This is the third volume posted during the 2019 Halloween Countdown, which is pretty nuts considering that I wasn’t sure I’d even find eno

Set aside two and a half minutes and however long it takes to read 900 words, because it’s time for the 23rd edition of Classic Creepy Commercials! If this batch doesn’t put you in the mood for spiked cider and dimmed lighting, nothing will. Except maybe pot.  Halloween III on Broad

Happy September! It’s arguably the best month of the year, but inarguably the month that kicks off the best quarter of the year. From now through 2020, we’ll always have some holiday-related bullshit to help us forget our troubles. Yes! Get set for the latest edition of Classic Creepy

Get set for the best edition of Classic Creepy Commercials yet. I’m serious. I’m Babe Ruthing this mofo. All of these ads were rescued from taped-off-television compilations. For maximum effect, imagine them sandwiched between seven-minute stretches of DuckTales and Scooby-Doo. You

The return of Dino Drac’s Halloween Countdown means I get to dust off one of my favorite recurring features: Classic Creepy Commercials! If you weren’t around for the eighteen previous installments, this is where I gush about old spooky TV commercials. I’ve spent the last six months

Get set for the latest edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, the series in which I pay tribute to ancient spooky ads, or something. On a mostly unrelated note, I never bought into the idea that essays need a strong intro. Monster Face! (1992) Monster Face was basically a Dr. Frankenstein

Get set for another batch of Classic Creepy Commercials, featuring everything from horror movies to space aliens to bugs made out of Play-Doh. We’re gonna have a time! The Official Boglins Hotline! (1988) Yep, this was a real thing that really happened. An official Boglins hotline! As I�

The return of the Halloween Countdown means that I get to dust off one of my favorite recurring Dino Drac features: Classic Creepy Commercials! Since I’ve now covered well over 100 spooky commercials, the pickings are slim and I’ll need to get creative. So like, my apologies to those

Happy Halloween, everyone! Course, by the time most of you read this, it’ll be November. Hell, it might technically be November even by the time this gets posted. Oh well. I like November, too. Stove Top and Sunday circulars. I hope you had a tremendous season, and I hope Dino Drac playe

Guess it’s lame to do another Classic Creepy Commercials post so soon, but I have a lot of great ads to get to this year. I’m worried there won’t be time for them all! (God knows your Halloween season won’t be complete until you watch a promo for a 1994 TV movie about Roseanne.) De

Oof, there is some serious nostalgia in this edition of Classic Creepy Commercials. Get ready for the feels. Big thanks to Matt B. and Aaron G. for so graciously donating the ads featured below! You guys are the coolest curators. Pumpkin Kutter! (1980s) Still in production today, the Pump

Ah, the first Classic Creepy Commercials post of the 2016 season. I can bleed again. If you’re new to the site, old TV commercials with a Halloween slant are my favorite things in the world. Every year, I do my best to infect everyone with that same peculiar passion. Below are six more s

It's another batch of Classic Creepy Commercials from the '80s and '90s! This time, I'm tackling Mighty Max, Fruit by the Foot and the end-all, be-all of vintage Hallmark Halloween commercials!

It’s the first day of autumn! (Or the second, depending on when you read this.) What better way to celebrate than with another edition of Classic Creepy Commercials, featuring all sorts of eerie ads from the ‘80s and ‘90s? (I mean besides a cool walk under moonlight scored by the sw

It’s time for the next batch of Classic Creepy Commercials! (If you read that in the voice of a game show announcer and hum happy music afterward, it becomes a stronger open.) Collected below are another five spooky TV commercials from the ‘80s and ‘90s, covering everything from to

I adore the Halloween Countdown for a thousand reasons, but here’s one of the big ones: I get to bring back my Classic Creepy Commercials feature. Yay! If you’re new to the site, know this: I love old TV commercials, but I especially love old HALLOWEEN commercials. Growing up in a ti

Welcome to Classic Creepy Commercials, Volume 7! (It was either this or another edition of Five Spooky Action Figures. The folks on Twitter voted for more commercials. If you would’ve preferred to read about plastic Draculas, blame them. #notmyfault) Larry P. generously provided the firs