This is the most ’80s thing ever.

I found it, I found it. The most impossibly ‘80s thing of all impossibly ‘80s things.

Ironically, for all I know, it might’ve come out in the ‘90s.

This Sun Kids combo pack blends two things that perfectly bookend all of my other childhood memories: Cheap sunglasses with neon frames… and puffy stickers. I honestly could not choose a better two items to represent “1986” in the form of meretricious pharmacy toys.

Even if you didn’t have sunglasses just like this, you had sunglasses much like this. Mine usually had black frames around the plastic lenses, but with neon colors across the temples. By “neon” I mean bubble gum pink, electric blue, or in decidedly less triumphant cases, lime green. It was always one of those three.

Those sunglasses were everywhere. They still are, I guess, but the difference now is that people only wear them if they’re clueless or ironic. When I was a kid, anyone could get away with wearing those. Hell, everyone did. From six-year-olds with sauce-stained shirts to eighty-year-olds in fifty-year-old suits. The sunglasses went with everything.

This Sun Kids kit (Can I can call this a kit?) skimped on its pair, which are too small to fit even a child’s head comfortably. A newborn child, yes, but not a regular one. Perhaps this explains the ridiculously conspicuous attempt to distract us with robot stickers.

Puffy. Sparkly. Robotty. They’re three of my favorite sticker types rolled into one. Theyaresocool.

I’m told that the robots are based on Great Mazinger, or Mazinger Z, or something else with the word “Mazinger” in it. Tonight you learned that I know nothing about Mazinger. Shame, too, because it means the guy on the bottom-left isn’t some bizarre attempt to merge Robeast Scorpious with Robeast Mutilor.

These stickers belong on a golden notebook, filled with antidote formulas that will someday save the world. They’re that good.

Larry is ready, but for what specifically, I do not know.

Oh, and if you doubt my claim that this is the most ‘80s thing ever, scroll back to the top and look at the packaging again. Now count how many wacky design elements you can match up with graphics from old sitcom intros. At least 4, right?

I realize that this has been an uncharacteristically short review, but I still felt that you needed to see this. And now you have. The question then becomes, “What does one do after his destiny is fulfilled?”

PS: I don’t think I’ve plugged this here yet, but my latest Star Wars piece is now live. Go read about the Jar Jar Binks Pez machine from 1999. It will change you. Follow me on Twitter if you want to keep up with my extracurricular junk in a more timely fashion!