Dinosaur Dracula!

An ode to Pumpkin Spice Quaker Oatmeal.

After all my years of blogging,
I’ve learned a thing or two.

Like how stories about oatmeal…
Won’t mean much to you.


Before I even started writing,
The bloom was off the rose.

So whatever, fine, fuck it.
I’ll do it in rhymed prose. Read More…

1980s McDonald’s Halloween Pails!

After writing about the famed McDonald’s McNugget Buddies last month, I thought it’d be fitting to pay tribute to the only Halloween Happy Meal that was even better:


Yes, McDonald’s Halloween Pails. It’s not at all hyperbolic to name them as some of the best Happy Meal “prizes” ever, nor is it an exaggeration to say that — at least for those of a certain age — these pails absolute embody Halloween.

The first national release came in 1986, with the trio shown above. The promotion’s wild success guaranteed repeats, and sure enough, this is one of the few Happy Meal sets that McDonald’s repeated in subsequent years, dotted across the rest of the ‘80s and into the ‘90s.

Future sets included additional colors and “characters,” but I’ve always been fondest of the original all-orange versions. These were Halloween toys in the purest imaginable form. Today, they evoke more a sense of innocence than visions of ghouls and goblins. Read More…

The Purple Stuff Podcast: Episode 9!

Your new Saturday night tradition continues. (Well, I hope it’s your new Saturday night tradition, at least.) Time for the latest Purple Stuff Podcast!


In tonight’s episode, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit play a five round game of FACT OR FICTION. Each of us makes two statements, and it’s up to the other one to determine which is true and which is false. Feel free to play along!

(And yes, the game is completely drenched with Halloween and horror stuff. Duh!)

You can listen through the player above, or access the MP3 directly over here. The Purple Stuff Podcast can also be found on iTunes and Stitcher!

Tonight’s episode is a little on the short side, mainly so we’d leave ourselves with enough time to watch Brock kill the Big Show.

Thanks for listening, as always! Read More…