Mythological Creatures in Pro-Wrestling!
As many of you know, I’m a lifelong wrestling fan. I’m also a wrestling fan with strange tastes. Most of my friends prefer wrestlers with slick attitudes and crisp moves, but I always preferred the MONSTERS.
In the decades I’ve spent watching wrestling, I’ve seen my share of them, from One Man Gang to Kamala to The Undertaker. So long as the particular wrestlers were very big and somewhat scary, I was on their side. Didn’t matter if they couldn’t move, or if their punches looked bad, or if their promos sounded like cab drivers trying to insult old ladies with G-rated language. I LOVED them. They were like B movies come to life in a wrestling ring.
Several of those wrestlers had something else in common: They were based on actual legendary creatures. Yes, there really were wrestler versions of the Yeti and the Loch Ness Monster!
Collected below are six such grapplers. Let’s see how they compare to the beasts that inspired ‘em!
(Note: I’m sticking strictly to mythological and legendary creatures. That means I’m not including wrestlers who were meant to represent real animals, nor am I including wrestlers meant to mimic specific fictional characters. Basically, to be included here, the wrestler’s inspiration needed to be covered on Unsolved Mysteries.)
The Yeti!
THE CREATURE: Also known as the Abominable Snowman, the Yeti is basically a wintry version of Bigfoot. Reports peg the creature as a hulking, ape-like monster that towers over men and stalks its prey all over the Himalayas. Save for the blue skin, Blizzard from Primal Rage is a good representation of what the Yeti is supposed to look like.
THE WRESTLER: Oh, brother. Debuting in 1995 as part of the Dungeon of Doom, WCW’s Yeti stood more than seven feet tall and looked just a bit like a mummy. (Well, no, I’m understating things. He looked EXACTLY like a mummy, and NOTHING like a Yeti. The only “Yeti” thing about him was that he debuted on live television by breaking out of a ten foot phony ice cube. For real.)
After helping his monstrous friends beat up Hulk Hogan, somebody at WCW realized that a guy covered in ill-fitting bandages probably wouldn’t survive a match without pulling back the curtain too far. Thus, when it was time for the Yeti to actually wrestle, he randomly sported a ninja costume instead. (The throwaway explanation provided by the announcers was that he “thawed out.”)
WCW’s Yeti did not last long, and is largely considered one of the most hilarious offenses in wrestling history. I don’t care. It was a giant guy covered in paper towels who looked like a mummy but was called “Yeti.” I don’t see how sane, rational people wouldn’t love that. Read More…
Toys from the 1983 Consumers Catalog!
Most of you aren’t ready to go full tilt with the holiday season, but if you wanna get your feet wet, I have just the thing: Awesome toys from a really old Christmas catalog!
Below are nine highlights from the 1983 Consumers Distributing catalog. If you’ve never heard of Consumers, it was like a looser Service Merchandise. (Better yet, learn more in my coverage of the Consumers 1984 catalog, which includes another bunch of amazing toys!)
These items will help you a remember a time when nothing in the world mattered more than four bucks’ worth of plastic… an idealistically simple view that helps to explain why so many of us still collect action figures over 30 years later!
G.I. Joe Three-Packs!
Price: $7.97 each
Because bad guys get the best lines and the coolest clothes, I’m more enamored with the three-pack on the right, featuring the original Cobra Commander, Destro and Major Bludd figures. Bludd’s just kinda tagging along, but the other two are among my generation’s most adored action figures, from any line.
Here’s a kick in the balls: To collect those same three figures in their original packaging now would run you somewhere in the area of a thousand bucks. No exaggeration. I want you to sit there and think about every toy you had as a kid, and how many private islands you’d own today had you not opened any of them. Read More…
The Purple Stuff Podcast: Episode 13!
Welllp, it’s here. HALLOWEEN. May your day be filled with candy and costumes and the last vestiges of that pumpkin spice candle you bought last August.
Thanks so much for being a part of Dino Drac’s 2015 Halloween Countdown! Just one more piece of business left for the season…
Yes, it’s the special Halloween edition of The Purple Stuff Podcast! This week, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit celebrate by determining the official ABCs of Halloween. (Meaning, we take turns assigning Halloween stuff to each letter of the alphabet. All 26 of them! Yes this show is longer than usual!)
Give us a listen by clicking on the big ass play button down below. You can also access/download the MP3 directly by clicking here. The Purple Stuff Podcast is on Podbean and iTunes and Stitcher, too!
(Click the play button to listen!)
The big question: Will we be continuing the show after Halloween? You’ll have to listen to find out, but since I’m gonna encourage people who like the show to write us a review on iTunes, you can probably guess! Read More…
Madd Matt reviews the Bigfoot Playset.
With mere hours to go before Halloween, Madd Matt managed to eke out one last video…
This time, he’s reviewing Animal Planet’s Bigfoot Playset. You’ve seen it before, yes?
I’m a huge sucker for the entire Animal Planet collection. Some of the toys lean heavily on a sense of realism, but the best of them toss truth out the window to provide playsets where little men battle against house-sized cobras.
The line’s lack of “collectible flair” means that most adult fans pay zero attention to Animal Planet. HUGE mistake, guys! Read More…