Summer Berry Pebbles Cereal!
“It’s the first day of summer” is both the truth and the opening line to my debut rap single, I Can’t Stand To Sit.
I thought we’d celebrate the shift in seasons with the most summery thing imaginable: Bamm-Bamm Rubble beating the shit out of cereal.
New from Post, it’s Pebbles Cereal in a limited edition “Summer Berry Flavor.”
I’ve beaten this horse before, but I’m still irked by cereal companies using the “limited edition” term. “Limited time,” yes, but “limited edition” makes it sound like there’s some frantic foreman in Post’s shiny factory, waiting to throw cold water at the fusebox to ensure that his careless staff doesn’t make even one box beyond 5000. I like the image, but I know it to be false.
Looking over the box, it’s obvious that this was originally intended to have a strict Independence Day theme. At the last second, Post changed it to “summer,” reasoning that it was better to get an extra month’s worth of sales out of their efforts. If you doubt my theory, just check out Uncle Bamm. Read More…
Little Debbie’s Sea Life Snacks!
Guys. We need to have a serious discussion about Little Debbie.
No stranger to seasonally-shaped snacks, Little Debbie had something special in mind for the 2014 summer season: Cookies and cakes based on sea animals.
It’d be one thing if she picked sharks and dolphins, but Debbie went with jellyfish and live coral. Bizarre but beautiful! I’d like to thank the supplier of Little Debbie’s phencyclidine for inspiring her to stripe small cakes and tell us it’s goddamned coral.
Let us examine these new treats, one by one. Read More…
Ecto Cooler spotted in movies and TV!
The weekend marks the 30th anniversary of Ghostbusters. Let’s celebrate with Ecto Cooler!
Yeah, Hi-C Ecto Cooler, something I’ve written about four thousand times before, but never from this angle.
Some friends tipped me off about extremely implausible yet entirely provable Ecto Cooler sightings in movies and television. Feeling an intense need to corroborate their stories, I ordered the DVDs and went through those fuckers frame by frame.
Holy cow, there really WAS Ecto Cooler in an old episode of ALF. And another in The Willies, a little-known kid-targeted horror-comedy from 1990. Yes I am paid by the hyphen.
Regular readers know that spotting real world items in movies and television makes me giddy, so you can just imagine how sky-high I am over TWO SEPARATE honest-to-goodness Ecto Cooler sightings. If everything I’ve ever done online has a spirit animal, and I could get away with calling a beverage a spirit animal… I… I have no idea where I was going with that.
ECTO COOLER, spotted in ALF and an old horror movie! Here’s the proof! Read More…
Marino’s Italian Ice is good shit.
I’d like to remind everyone that Marino’s Italian Ice is the best possible ice.
Never heard of Marino’s? I’m pretty sure most of you haven’t. It’s regional. Apologies in advance for championing a water ice that you have absolutely no access to.
I was first introduced to Marino’s as a kid, by my father. Experts estimate that his diet consisted of 50% Marino’s Italian Ice and 50% sunflower seeds. His favorite flavor was lemon, which makes sense, because I’m pretty sure Marino’s only made lemon ice back then.
Cherry wasn’t far behind, and that’s when I hopped on the bandwagon. Holy shit, guys. You have not experienced water ice until you’ve tried a cherry Marino’s. Sold individually from ice cream trucks and in weird corner store delis, you can now buy ‘em by the box at supermarkets. (Assuming you live in an area where they’re sold… but we’ve already covered that.)
With summertime creeping up, we’re reminded of the many disgustingly delicious treats that are only appropriate to eat at that time of year. For me, the thought of a summer season passing without the ingestion of 400 cups of Marino’s is just cause to write sad songs and dress like The Undertaker.
Let me introduce you to Marino’s three best flavors: Read More…