The Mausoleum of Madness, Part II!
Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula’s MAUSOLEUM OF MADNESS, PART II! Every day through Halloween, check back for another vintage creepy collectible – everything from deep cut toys to ancient store displays to at least one totally insane costume. Probably ten cereal boxes, too.
I won’t be plugging this on social media much, so you’ll have to remember to visit on your own. Maybe stick an orange Post-It on the fridge. (Yes, it must be orange.)
PS, if you missed last year’s Mausoleum of Madness, it’s over here.
#55: Telco Frankenstein! (Late ‘80s)
Telco made many different Frankenstein Motionettes back in the day. I should know, as this is the third one I’ve collected. I wasn’t really planning to feature any of them here, but something about this guy begged me to bash keyboards.
For one thing, he’s actually quite rare. This is a “Ghoul Size” Telco Motionette, a plug-powered subset that lingered somewhere between the height of their 17” battery-operated Motionettes, and the 24” electric versions. They’re scarcely seen nowadays, which is a shame, because the scale really works for them.
Aside from the illuminated lantern and usual animations, Frank also has a dial on his base that summons an endless stream of cackling. I would not describe that laughter as sounding particularly Frankenstein-like, but it’s a nice bonus all the same.
Mostly though, I wanted to celebrate this as my first-ever purchase from OfferUp, one of those not-quite-eBay sites where buyers are technically protected but still need to check Vegas odds on if their purchases will ever arrive. I gave myself a 65% chance, and it turned out to be a good bet.
With his Furiosa makeup and candlelight skin tone, Frank has finally found a forever home.
#54: MIMP Mansion! (1992)
Before you get too excited, this was never released. I found it in a Matchbox retailer brochure from 1992, so they obviously intended to make them at one point. Whoever convinced ‘em to ditch the idea was obviously a complete idiot.
The Super Scary Haunted Mansion would’ve been a two-floor playset for your Monster in My Pocket figures, complete with furniture. The brochure even mentioned “electronic sounds,” which I’m guessing were some variation of “AIYEEEEE” or “GRRRRR.”
The demented abode looks like it took inspiration in equal parts from the White House, the Hall of Justice, and the putrid, rotting soul of Satan himself.
It’s worth noting that the mansion in this brochure was a prototype, and the finished product probably would’ve looked a little different. Whatever. It could’ve been half this cool, and I still would’ve demanded it from Santa.
As much as I loved the MIMP Monster Mountain, it was decidedly not a playset. It sure would’ve been nice to give those little freaks a them-scale spot to watch TV and make chicken cacciatore.
#53: Monster Bash Mega Banner! (1993)
This is a TEN-FOOT retail banner celebrating the Pepsi / Doritos 1993 “Monster Bash” campaign, where the Universal Monsters encouraged us to spend Halloween guzzling soda and devouring chips.
There were a number of point-of-purchase displays tied to that promotion, and they turn up on the collectors’ market surprisingly often. This one, though, I’ve only seen once. I was quick to grab it, because my policy with ten-foot junk food banners has always been, “buy first, figure out where to fuckin’ put it later.”
Given the size and the weatherproof material, I’m thinking these were meant to be hung on long fences or the sides of buildings. If they actually were inside stores, maybe they would’ve covered the long rows of windows at the front of supermarkets.
The big highlight is the inclusion of the Invisible Man, who was the Halloween mascot for – of course – Crystal Pepsi. While the other monsters on that banner was around for multiple Pepsi/Doritos promos in the ‘90s, the Invisible Man only got one shot, thanks to Crystal Pepsi’s grisly, premature death. Read More…