Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/21 – 12/23/12.

Dino Drac hates today’s magnifying glass, but I don’t. I love how Playmobil made it all jewel-like and oversized, as if it’s actually a supernatural crystal-gazing thing that will let us see the future.

“So you wanna see the future, eh? Then let me open tomorrow’s gift.”

I don’t even put up a fight, anymore. He’s too hard to argue with. Too many dismissive hand gestures.

Tomorrow’s gift is…

Wow, tomorrow’s gift is TERRIBLE.

It’s a bed of hay, but one that’s so stiff from grime that it actually maintains its shape when you hold it sideways.

The only thing I can think to compare it to is a giant owl pellet.

This time, even *I’m* in favor of opening tomorrow’s gift. Though, technically, the next gift would be the day after tomorrow’s gift. I don’t know. It’s 12/21, I’m at work until 6, and there is a 50/50 chance that this random laser zapping around my head will soon reveal its true identity as the flu. I don’t care about hay, or crystal-gazing devices. I just want a heating pad, and soup served in what’s called a bowl but is actually a super huge coffee mug.

Dino Drac, let’s keep this party going.

The day after tomorrow brings us EGGS.

Or so we think.

“These are just ROCKS! They are ROCKS with CHISELED CRACKS, made to LOOK like eggs!”

I take a closer look. He’s right. They’re not eggs. They do fit nicely into yesterday’s bed of hay, though. Or, depending on your point of view, tomorrow’s bed of hay. Blah. I can’t keep up with this. Thank God there’s only one more gift left to open.

“Can we just get it over with? I don’t want to be disappointed on Christmas Eve.”

Oh, you won’t be disappointed, Dino Drac. I’ve heard rumors about the last gift, and it is LEGENDARY. This week blew, but don’t you worry: Weird Danish Santa will reward us in the end.

The saga concludes on Christmas Eve!

16 Responses to Dino Drac’s Advent Calendar: 12/21 – 12/23/12.

  1. The magnifying glass is the coolest of the three gifts opened today. Too bad the eggs weren’t actual eggs to put into an incubator and hatch baby dinos. *sigh*

  2. Hey Matt, ever eat that instant oatmeal that has dinosaur eggs in it that “hatch” when you cook it?

  3. Yup! Actually reviewed it like 10 years ago, too. :)

  4. no no no no no!!! matt you cannot make me wait until christmas eve!!!! lol

  5. Those dino eggs remind me of those fake stones that you use to hide keys under (courtesy of every Finger Hut/Finger Hut rip off catalog on the planet). No one would ever look under those large fake eggs sitting on a pile of moldy as sin hay. NEVER!

  6. hey peeps! Yesterday we had our third kiddo! our first boy. i remember sharing on here four years ago when tiny claws was born!

  7. I maintain that those ARE eggs…and you’re supposed to use the magnifying glass to cook them.

    Grave Digger mentioned the Dinosaur Egg oatmeal. I saw that in the store the other day. I didn’t know they still made it…either that or that store had some REALLY old oatmeal.

    Congratulations, Terror Claws! I seem to remember the birth of Tiny Claws myself…as well as the birth of Tiny Claws 2.0…what did you call that one, I forget.

    Finally, I found out this is a thing today. WANT. http://store.lovelesscafe.com/product/piggy_popcorn/sweets_snacks

  8. Sorry for the DP (ladies), and I feel like I’ve mentioned this before, but am i the only one who feels the urge to “like” people’s comments here, facebook-style?

  9. Congratulations, Terror Claws!

  10. Terror Claws Congratulations. I want to start trying to have a baby in a year so I am a magnet to others having children or are pregnant. I can’t wait until I am at that place in my life where I can go ahead. But we are too broke now. I want to start when I know we can afford another mouth to feed. You know like everybody should but most it seems don’t lol.

    What a wonderful early Christmas gift.

  11. Thought the hay was cousin Itt at first. :) Congrats Terror Claws!

  12. Oh and I saw last night on Think Geek a plush toy of the worm from Labyrinth. It blew my mind.

  13. Grats, TC, for the new bundle of joy! See that, world? Rather than the death of all living creatures we get the birth of a new one! Take THAT, Mayans!

  14. Sorry Dino Drac, but that magnifying glass IS cool. It looks like a magic mirror out of a fantasy film. Ok, so the eggs don’t really look very egg like, and the hay…looks like many things that are too disgusting to repeat.

    And congratulations to Terror Claws on the new mini-Claws! That’s the best kind of Christmas present. ;)

  15. Congrats Terror Claws! Man, I’m with everyone else when I remember you announcing you were gonna be afather for the first time.

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