Dino Drac is PISSSSED.
He’s pissed, and it’s all my fault. I made such a fuss about how Playmobil was only going to give us good gifts for the rest of December. Now we got a tree, and it’s not even a WHOLE tree. It’s really just a branch. Today’s gift is a BRANCH.
Now me? I like it just fine. It looks like a palm tree, and I’ll never not like something that looks like a palm tree. All the same, I understand Dino Drac’s frustration. From motorcycle to velociraptor to tree. Even for an outsider, it would be pretty easy to look at this sequence and know where to stick the “shit balloon” sound effect.
“You promised me amnesty!” I don’t know why Dino Drac is suddenly quoting one of Count Dooku’s cut scenes. I take it to mean that he’s upset about the tree.
I know this is bad form, but I can’t go to bed knowing that he’s miserable. I tell him to go ahead and open tomorrow’s gift early.
“Really? But won’t the world blow up if I do that?”
I tell him to stop believing in stupid urban legends. Between Bloody Mary and the idea that Earth with explode if someone opens Playmobil gifts prematurely, it’s like I’m living with a bad Lili Taylor character from a bad Lili Taylor movie.
So, he opens it.
And it’s another tree.
“I know when I’m being fucked with! I remind you of your alleged golf course! This is the THIRD TIME THIS WEEK that I’ve been given plants! Me — a carnivore!”
Heh, he sounds like Waiterbot. And shut up, Dino Drac. Be grateful for your branches. They are more than others have.