Kool-Aid Liquid Drink Mix!
I haven’t written about Kool-Aid in such a long time. It’s making me itch and scratch. Today is my remedy.
New Kool-Aid “Liquid” drink mixes are wonderfully convenient and wonderful in general. I treasure the protracted powder/sugar/water process, but the truth is, there isn’t always time for that. Sometimes, you want Kool-Aid without the associated science project. This is that chance.
Each bottle contains concentrated Kool-Aid drink mix. You know it’s concentrated because the label warns us to never drink it undiluted. I wonder what would happen if we did? Would there some Wonka-style form of retribution? Maybe we’d turn red, and our eyes would morph into upside down commas? I’ll let someone braver find out.
I understand that some of you are Kool-Aid purists. To some degree, so am I. But even without the powder, this is still a fun process. You’re supposed to shoot a “squeeze” of the mix into eight ounces of water, and when I say “shoot,” I mean it. The stuff comes out at light speed, evidenced by the fact that I needed to take more than 70 photos to get the two above. Only with the help of hideously expensive Energizer Lithium batteries was I able to gut through.
And as for that “squeeze?” That’s their term, not mine. Judging by the nutritional info, each serving is meant to be half a teaspoon. Of course, since there’s no way to control this frighteningly violent firing liquid, I hope you like your Kool-Aid strong.
You’re not supposed to add sugar, and the mix has none, either. At zero calories per serving, we may assume that it’s sweetened with something that gives lab rats heart palpitations. A small price to pay for Kool-Aid that will keep the svelte svelte and the taut taut.
Besides, nobody thinks about the future when there’s a glass of delicious neon mutant juice in the present.
If I’m scaring you, it’s only because there isn’t much to say about Kool-Aid Liquid. “It’s good.”
I mean that, by the way. It really is good. I’m sure that there are psychosomatic factors at play, but even with the hundred similar liquid drink mixes on the market, in these same exact flavors, the official Kool-Aid versions create something that is purely “Kool-Aid.” Only Kool-Aid tastes like this, and brother, Kool-Aid tastes better than most things.
Plus, now I can write threatening messages in Tropical Punch drink mix.
I have a feeling that this review won’t win me any freebies from Kraft Foods.
UPDATE: YES IT MAKES THE BEST ORANGE SODA. Now I want to try it with the other flavors.
In highschool I drank unmixed Moutain Dew syrup and lived and that stuff is probably like 100 times worse for you than Kool-Aid.
I saw that in the store the other day and it looks awesome, but I’m holding out for Tang in little squeezy bottles like that.
“I had to work hard to avoid making that sentence sound dirty” —Annette
Don’t worry, whatever you were going to write couldn’t have been worse than “… there’s no way to control this frighteningly violent firing liquid.”.
Reminds me of Zarex. Now that was some seriously nasty stuff to drink straight. I am still a purist though, Kool Aid is meant to be the powdered stuff that you would eat straight from the canister. BTW ever wonder if they made the Kool Aid Man pay for all the stuff he busted?
I guess it was “evolve or die time”for Kool Aid in the face of all this Mio foofaraw.Now, when I bought the Juiceman Juicer back in the 90′s I was warned not to drink straight beet juice for ominously vague reasons, so naturally I made myself a nice glass of”Borcht in the raw”.It was just too much for my body to process quickly and made me sweat and palpitate.I’m guessing concentrated Kool Aid probably would produce a similar effect.Also: who has 2 thumbs and is old enough to remember Funny Face With-It Watermelon? This Guy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_j5xoF6bqk&feature=youtu.be
I told you I’d do it.
Goob – I still refer to Ramen noodles as crackhead soup to this day.
Juge – Nice!
GloKat! Love it.
@GloKat – Way to take one for the team! Now I feel compelled to pick some up on the way home from work tomorrow and make my own video. Kool-Aid Liquid Challenge!
Although, I don’t think anything will top the time Matt ate Nads. http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/373.html
GloKat – Way to take one for the team!
This made me far happier than I have any right to be over an article about Kool-Aid. Maybe all the Kool-Aid I drank as a kid has fried my brain.
Chalk this up to another product that I’m glad that you tried, but that I have no desire to try myself. We thank you for your sacrifice. At the end of the day though, it’s powder pack or nothing for me.
I’ll stand up for Crystal Light. It’s grown on me over the years and they do make some pretty good flavors. It’s no Kool-Aid, but I do really like their strawberry lemonade.
And I know it’s been said already, but OMG Pac-Man glass!
hi, sorry to bother the thread, but I got a new computer and I can’t find the link to the RSS feed for the site, does anyone have it
The position of Kool-Aid man’s face and the shape of the bottle remind me of the “forever alone” meme a little bit.
“I treasure the protracted powder/sugar/water process, but the truth is, there isn’t always time for that.”
A lesser writer would have written, “I treasure the protracted powder/sugar/water process, but ain’t nobody got time for that.” You didn’t take the easy way out, and I commend you for that, sir.
Back “in the day,” we used to take empty Bubble Tape containers (the old school kind that opened with a lid, not along the middle like they do now) and fill them with Kool Aid powder and eat it. We usually used the sweetened kind, but every once in a while, some brave soul would use the unsweetened king. Woo, that stuff was rough. I’m tempted to get this stuff and drink it straight, but GloKat may have discouraged me from trying that.
It would be so awesome to see them resurrect old flavors in this bold new medium, but I can’t believe no one has mentioned ECTO-COOLER yet!
Oh…wait…that was Hi-C…shit. Nevermind.
I liked the fizzy tablets they were putting out every Summer until recently.
Oddly enough, I don’t think I’ve seen this at the grocery store where I work yet. I’ve seen Crystal Light’s version, but not Kool-Aid. It’s probably on its way. I prefer powder, too, but only because it’s cheaper.
I did a shot straight from the package of this stuff.
Oh man. Ooohhh man. Don’t do that.