Impossibly Pink Rice Krispies Treats.

It all started with the marshmallows.

Kraft’s “Strawberry Mallows” are pinker than pigs, and I can never say no to a new type of marshmallow. (I understand that these might not be new, but I’d never seen them before this weekend.)

It’s a sick habit, really it is. I don’t even like marshmallows that much. I buy every kind, and then they just rot in our kitchen cabinet, patiently awaiting a purpose that never comes. There must be at least five expired bags of marshmallows in there, right now. I could prove this if challenged, but please don’t make me.

Only the kinds that I end up writing about avoid this fate. Strawberry Mallows, count yourselves lucky.

There was a recipe for “Strawberry Crispy Squares” on the back of the bag, and I knew what that meant.


I had to make them.

I’m glad I did, because Kraft’s shortened directions on how to prepare Rice Krispies Treats will prove as useful in the future as it did yesterday afternoon. Now I know that you can totally avoid using the stove.

Melt the butter in the microwave, pour it over the marshmallows, and then throw the whole bowl back in the microwave for 90 seconds. Voila, you’ve done it, and you did it without fire.

The resulting goo looked like the mood slime from Ghostbusters II, and I said as much when I first saw it. Of course, since nobody else was in the kitchen, I’m not sure why I bothered. The words just escaped me; a statement gone rogue.

I’ll spare you the play-by-play on steps 3-8, because past articles have beaten that horse into paste. For some reason, I imagine horse paste to be brown.

They looked nice and pink, but NOT PINK ENOUGH. If I was gonna go down this road, I wanted seven of the Guinness Book of World Records’ 300,000 words to be about ME. These had to be the pinkest Rice Krispies Treats EVER.

Fortunately, I saw this problem stirring in the womb, and took precautionary measures to conquer it.

Pink icing! Pink sprinkles! Oh yes, with these tools, my treats were about to become SO MUCH PINKER.

The sprinkles aren’t very interesting, but I’d been eyeing Pillsbury’s pink lemonade cake frosting for weeks. I was dying to know what it smelled like. Turns out, it smells like lemonade.

PINK lemonade.

Pure decadence. Pure, gloppy decadence. Interestingly enough, the extras only served to make the Rice Krispies taste more like Fruity Pebbles. The Pillsbury Doughboy is no friend to Snap, Crackle and Pop. Their world is one of jealous intrigue.

I don’t know if these are the pinkest Rice Krispies Treats ever, but they’re certainly the pinkest out of the ones covered in frosting and sprinkles. That’s a victory, however small.

And if one of our cats morphs into a five-year-old girl on its next birthday, I know just what to serve at her party.

  • DJ D

    Horse Paste Brown should be Pilsbury’s next Rice Krispie Treat color.

    I think you know how I feel. I’m not a fan of Disqus AT ALL and I think things are working just fine the way they are, but I’ll be around either way. I actually think the nesting system it has makes it harder to follow conversations that I’m not a part of and I feel like I have to constantly go back and review the conversation over and over because I’m missing something that’s happening further down the page. Not to mention the cluttered feel of the whole thing. This seems so much more streamlined and easier to work with. Also, there is the nostalgia factor. Aside from the preview function at the bottom (which I love, btw), the current system has the same look and feel of X-E that so many of are used to.

    Like I said the last time this discussion came up, you’re the one that has to manage it, so do what you gotta do, but I’m strictly in the anti camp.

  • Loneman1

    One more vote for Disqus! Been lurking a long time….it was a nice change!

  • Jugendsehnsucht

    Disqus is way better than it used to be, and it doesn’t bother me too much now.
    So you’re unfortunately stuck with me no matter what choice you make.

    While such a thing doesn’t exist, I’d even say that if there was a linear version of Disqus, I’d even greatly prefer it to the current system, as it’s got some really nice bells and whistles that I grew to appreciate (post editing, profiles, improved quoting, new messages without page refreshing, et c.). As obvious of a good idea as that is, though, apparently the folks at Disqus are dumber than a bag of hair and won’t let you have such a thing, so the two formats nearly break even for me, with the old-school way only marginally in the lead now.

    I will say though that while I’m noticing people use terms like “aggressive” and “intense” to describe the brief flirtation with Disqus here, I never got that sort of vibe from it at all. There was noticeably more activity, but I can’t say I ever felt overwhelmed by it or that things were ever zipping by me too fast to follow. YMMV, of course, but for all its flaws, I didn’t consider that to be one.

    “I don’t believe you have multiple bags of expired marshmallows in your cabinet. I’m calling bullshit on that claim and unless you can provide proof, you shall wear the badge of a braggart forever in my eyes.” Rev Batali Butt Mayo 13
    Do you know how you can tell this is the case? Just look at this:
    “… then they just rot in our kitchen cabinet …”.
    This man actually thinks that marshmallows ROT if they expire. He has never seen a bag of expired marshmallows in his life, the scoundrel!

  • Goob

    I forgot to mention something earlier I need to say to you people.

    Our next door neighbor her niece lives with her. Her niece is about 18 years old. The niece’s bf just recently got his driver’s license and started driving an ice cream van. He stopped by a couple of times last week that I saw parked in their driveway with the ice cream van.

    We live in a duplex, so it’s right there. A couple of feet away from our truck.

    I don’t believe in God, but I think that is definitely a sign that I need to try out what an ice cream truck provides. And I talked to this kid he is a good kid. I told him you need to not just sell ice cream and popsicles. You need to sell zots, gumballs, jaw breakers and atomic fireballs. He never heard of zotz before. I forgive him though because he sells sonic the hedgehog Popsicles. And huge drumsticks. And cotton candy flavored whateverthehellthatwas.

    Oh also, at the Dollar tree I was picking out wrapping paper. I saw a ton of Sesame street wrapping paper. My favorite one was Ernie in the bathtub. I am going to buy some of that.

    Ok I think I am done now. I need to list some stuff tonight on Ebay hopefully I have a great week this week because Harry’s birthday is on the 8th and the 4th and everything sigh. The end of the month is Jennifer’s birthday and I have committed myself to sending her a package even though she insists I really don’t need to. In my heart I feel I still need to make sure she is taken care of and everything.

    Ok I think I am done here, I am getting way too real lifey for this place.

  • MST3KFan

    These look really good. Though I’m surprised you didn’t go for the EXTREME strawberry flavor and add strawberry frosting rather than Pink Lemonade to these.

  • james

    Harry South: Not only was He-man and The Masters of the Universe removed from netflix it was removed at exactly midnight 05/29/2013 while I was in the middle of watching The Diamond Ray of Disappearance. For some reason Secret of the Sword and She-Ra are both still available.

  • JAyshford

    I always get so hungry after visiting your site. Unfortunately, I live in Australia so we have absolutely no access to these ingredients, (other than Rice Krispies which we call Rice pops!)I don’t think I can find the will to live without tasting pink lemonade flavoured icing.

  • JohnV

    Wow those pink sprinkles are electric! I totally thought mood slime from Ghostbusters II also when seeing the melted marshmallows before scrolling down and seeing you wrote that too. As for Disqus, I like that you get a notification that someone replied to your comment so you can reply back and not leave them hanging.

  • Whalley Range

    You should take all the Disqus-related conversation above, and from other DD articles, and send it all to Disqus to illustrate what users like and really don’t like about their system.

    Your trouble with it reminds me of a blog I created years ago on Blogger. That platform drove me insane! So difficult to do the most logical things. And so many bugs in it.

    BTW: if you do go with Disqus, would you be able to put a little primer in the comments one time — telling Hobbits like me how to edit posts, receive emails, etc.? I always posted without logging in and didn’t really understand the other features — which I’m assuming I only have access to if I DO log in…? I mean, I don’t even know how to use italics or emoticons on THIS system…

  • Whalley Range

    Totally off-topic, but because Halloween was recently mentioned here and because it’s been so freaking hot lately:

    How about DD doing some kind of trick-or-treat this year, similar to the Secret Santa of years past? I’d love to discover, and share, some bizarro candy with another DD reader…

  • Elyse

    My hair was hot pink for two years, so an overkill pink post is always fine by me. I think the real question is how did they TASTE?

    I’m in the pro-Disqus crowd, honestly – I liked being able to directly reply to comments, and at the same time, being notified if someone replied to me.

    It was also easier to add emphasis to comments – I’m with Whalley on that, I still don’t know how to bold or italicize here and I’ve tried both HTML and BBcode.

  • Tetsu Deinonychus

    I recently found out that you use the word “strong” to do bold text. You use it the same way you use “B” in HTML. But, that’s all I know so far.

  • Matt

    Tags: Bold is (strong)word(/strong) and italics is (em)word(/em). Which is weird, I agree.

    If we stay on the current system, laundry list:

    1. Create a box for people to just click buttons for bold, italics, links, etc.

    2. Potentially add replies back, but organized so that they don’t continually push to the right. Which is ugly as sin.

    3. E-mail notifications are easy.

    4. Avatars are possible, too.

    So, we’ll see. I feel like I should really investigate how close I can come to building it myself before hopping back to Disq. Maybe it would be the happy medium everyone seems to be looking for.

  • Brian (Review the World)

    I liked Disqus a lot. Although I’m more flexible than Gail Kim so I can go old school too. But if we’re voting I’ll be over in the pro Disqus crowd by the shrimp cocktail and fruit punch.

    I thought of pink lemonade right at the start of this article and how it’d be the perfect completely unnecessary and over-the-top addition to wash this all down with only to see the icing was pink lemonade-flavored. Only you, Madd Matt!

  • Teddy Ray

    I’m not a big Rick Krispies Treat fan, but damn, if the addition of sprinkles and frosting doesn’t make these look like the best thing since Cheetos Mix-Ups. I’ll have to see if I can find this stuff the next time I go to the store.

    Also, I’m in the “pro Disqus” crowd, but I’ll be here either way.

  • Annette

    Christ, those are pink! Also I got diabetes from reading this article. Thanks a lot Matt.

    Anyways, I still say no to Disqus. I don’t like the vibe and the pushing-ever-to-the-right thing, and also the voting thing. Too much like Youtube and other shitty comment sections like that. Notifications are probably the best part of Disqus.

  • Bogleech

    I use disqus only because it was easier to install and keep track of for me. I like that this comment system is so clean, compact, and you can click people’s names to go right to their URL or contact of choice, if they provided it. On Disqus it only takes you to a Disqus profile.

    On the other hand, you can reply to people as a thread. It’s kind of a toss-up.

    Rice Krispies treats are oddly something I like a lot, but very rarely get around to eating. I think I’ve gone entire years without any and didn’t realize it. Probably good for my health if that remains a trend, I guess.

  • Ryane

    I love it when you mess with food!

  • Tetsu Deinonychus

    I think that list sounds good to me. I really hope you can pull it off. I’ll keep coming either way, of course. As long as you keep writing and allowing comments, I’ll keep reading and sometimes commenting (when I have something to say).

  • Matt

    Given how even the split seems between pro and anti Disqus, it’s definitely worth seeing what I can do to just make the current system take the best from Disqus and leave the junk out.

    The beauty of WP is that you can do pretty much anything if you try hard enough. What I have in mind won’t be easy and isn’t something I can do alone, but I believe it is doable.

    I think I’d like to try replies, but not in the Disqus style. I see them being way, way neater — just one minor indentation for all replies, rather than an increasing indent for each one. (Which is absurd and is another one of those things I can’t believe they don’t have tweaks available for.

    I hope it works because the cynic in me really hates to put my faith in a system that isn’t on my server. I can’t help but wonder what will be in the future. I have comments on X-E from 2002 that are just as safe now in 2013, and I like that. :)

    The hope is that it’ll all make everything seem more “hangout-ish,” but without crossing the line to where it just becomes a thing where only the loudest/most frequent can really have fun. (And that’s not a knock on frequency — I love frequency! — I jut want things to work well for more than one type of poster.

  • Steve H.

    I have an idea. It’s a sick, twisted idea, and it may just end up destroying the world.

    Could you make treats using Frankenberry cereal?

    Pink strawberry marshmallows, butter, Frankenberry.

    It might be horrible. It COULD be GLORIOUS.

    They also have chocolate marshmallows. And there is that OTHER cereal…

  • stephen_od

    Man these things look delicious! Well done, Matt! I would like to make them myself and with a no bake recipe this simple maybe I actually will.

    As for the comment system I agree with you 100% – the current system, updated with the features you said, would be the best of all worlds. I like this comment system a lot.

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  • Alex

    These treats look great, considering Pink is my second favorite color Id love to try these.

    Disqus…Im still a noob with all these systems but I like it. Im not sure what the problem and flaws are but its much easier when Im logged in and I go to different sites and post a comment right away, edit and reply etc. Whatever you decide its still coolm Im lazy but not that lazy for the required info.

  • Tyler

    I found some key lime flavored marshmallows, so I made some Rice Krispies treats with them. They have an incredibly strong flavor, and they are also incredibly green.

  • Sun-Wukong

    The ironic thing is, the frosting and sprinkles just make the treats look that much less pink by comparison. A shame, really.

    Spot on with the mood slime comparison, though. Ghostbusters II really doesn’t get enough love.