Dinosaur Dracula!

The Krispy Kreme Ghostbusters Donuts Review!

I woke up at 4AM. By 5, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit were on the road. Exhausted and delirious, we drove in darkness, finally reaching our destination around 90 minutes later. This was a big day! A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

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Yes, THE GHOSTBUSTERS DONUTS HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED AT KRISPY KREME.

Sweet Jesus. Two brand new limited edition Ghostbusters donuts, PLUS an amazing plastic Ghostbusters pail! See all of the incredible goodies in today’s video, which I shot and edited on ABSOLUTELY NO SLEEP!

Here are the major bullets for people who can’t spare four minutes: Read More…

Five MORE Spooky Action Figures!

Okay, it’s Saturday night and none of you are here, but I’m already panicking about how close we are Halloween. A scant 48000 hours away! I don’t want to miss the chance to get even one more horrifying thing posted before the big day, so here I am. I’m so lonely.

Here’s another batch of spooky action figures, covering everything from The Real Ghostbusters to Masters of the Universe to other long titles that look shitty in italics. Enjoy!

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The Wolfman Monster
The Real Ghostbusters, 1989

Part of The Real Ghostbusters “Monsters” series, this Wolfman was in some respects the plainest villain in the entire line. That’s not so much an indictment of Wolfman as a tribute to the sheer creativity Kenner put into their RGB figures. If a werewolf in tattered casual wear with a snapping jaw was the plainest guy in the line, you can just imagine how endearingly odd the rest of them were.

The “Monsters” series is sometimes criticized by fans. The thrill of RGB’s villains was in their collective lunacy, so a bunch of “regular” monsters naturally paled in comparison. It’s not quite a fair judgment, since there isn’t much in this world that could compare to three-eyed blobs of purple flesh, or alien skeletons that trapped people in their ribcages. If this set seemed boring, it was only because the bar was set so high.

Actually, they’re some of my favorite representations of classic movie monsters. (There were five others in the series, including Dracula and Frankenstein.) Whenever old school monsters were made into action figures, it was usually done in a “stoic” way. The figures generally looked calm and well-mannered. By contrast, RGB’s looked excitable and active, and very much like cartoon characters… even if they never did appear on the show. Read More…

Pumpkin Spice Oreo Cookies!

For their next seasonal offering, Nabisco is going there.

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Hey, everything else has a “pumpkin spice” edition, so why not Oreo cookies?

In tonight’s video, I review and eat several Pumpkin Spice Oreos. It’s exactly as exciting as it sounds.

I wasn’t kidding in the vid — this really might be my favorite of the Oreo spinoffs. The flavor is pretty mellow for the most part, but with just enough of a spicy aftertaste to make good on its name.

They’re even better than the Caramel Apple Oreos I reviewed back in August!

Some folks think that Nabisco went too far with these, but sorry, I don’t count them among the “intentionally weird” Oreo flavors. Besides, “pumpkin spice” is just code for “generally indecipherable candy flavor,” anyway. Trust me, they’re good. Read More…

Doritos’ 1991 “Monster Match” Sweepstakes!

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Back in 1991, Doritos and Pepsi teamed to give away cash prizes in a special Halloween promotion. It was called Monster Match For Monster Money, and for a short time, it was the best thing on the planet.

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On specially marked packages of Doritos and Pepsi, we got game pieces that could’ve (potentially) been combined into winning sets. Prizes ranged from five bucks to a cool million, but I’ll get to the money particulars later. For now, can we all just bask in the glory of that Doritos photo? GOOD GOD.

Yes, that’s a vintage bag of Jumpin’ Jack Doritos. Well, sort of. I had the bag but not the old chips, so I filled it with Cool Ranch Doritos, and resealed the package with an iron and aluminum foil. The things I do in the name of presentation! (Alternatively: I need help.)

Jumpin’ Jack Doritos briefly returned a while back, but I only remember them from their original run. If you never had ‘em, JEEZ do I feel bad for you. Jumpin’ Jack Doritos were arguably the best chips ever made!

Blending a monterey jack cheese flavor with all sorts of colorful spices, they were twenty times better than Cool Ranch Doritos. Since Cool Ranch Doritos are already twenty times better than regular Doritos, you can just imagine how amazing those chips were. In the early ‘90s, my muse was edible. Read More…