Welcome back to Deadsites, where I study defunct websites and revisit the internet’s barely recognizable past!

I wanted something Halloweeny for this edition, of course. How about Froot Loops?

From 2000, it’s Kellogg’s SPOOKY TOWN — a site-within-a-site that was only accessible during October. Though unmentioned, its likely purpose was to promote special Halloween editions of certain Kellogg’s cereals. (Both Froot Loops and Rice Krispies had them that year. Tony the Tiger, noted asshole, abstained.)

“Goofy holiday pages” remain components of kid-targeted marketing today, but 2014’s versions lack the same charm. If Spooky Town existed now, I imagine it would focus on getting kids to share images of Toucan Sam across social media. Maybe it’d have a side page where you could print coupons for shitty e-readers.

Back in 2000, it was rarer for kids to connect with other kids online. If they did, it was either on a heavily-moderated half-forum where every message had to be preapproved, or on a site that they probably shouldn’t have been on. For children, using the internet was mostly “alone time” — and not just in the physical sense.

That partly explains why I love Spooky Town so much. Unburdened by thoughts of viral reach, it’s much more sincere. Just a happy little Halloween page where kids could play games and get tips on their costumes. If their parents were in the room, they’d learn how to make cats out of Cocoa Krispies. Read More…

Remember last month, when I went into tremendously long detail about some total stranger’s ancient Halloween photo?

Let’s do that again!

This photo was another eBay find. I don’t know who that house belongs to, nor even what part of the country it’s from. I suppose some of you are wondering why I’d spend five bucks on a picture of a stranger’s Halloween decorations. By the end of this post, I think you’ll get it.

Taken on October 31st, 1994, this photo is the perfect encapsulation of the Halloween spirit, or at least, the Halloween spirit as I know it. A crude “yard haunt” hidden somewhere in suburbia! Is there anything more on-point?

When I drive around the neighborhood to look at everyone’s decorations, it’s setups like this that speak to me most. The ones that seem like true labors of love, no matter how cheesy. Anyone can go to Home Depot and buy a few gaudy lawn inflatables, you know? A setup like this takes more soul. I could’ve been friends with these people. I wish I had been.

It’s an ugly mess, but sometimes, ugly messes work best. Many of the decorations were homemade, marking the house’s occupants as true “Halloween people.” If the Grinch snuck down and stole everyone’s Halloween decorations, this family would still celebrate just as hard. It isn’t just “on them” — it’s in them. Read More…

We spent the weekend at the headquarters of Freddy In Space, taking years off of our lives with a mix of pizza, pumpkin beer and Crayola crayons. I suspect I’ll be fully recovered by Christmas.

The best thing about John’s house (aside from Mothman the cat) is his absolute swarm of horror memorabilia, permeating literally every corner while still somehow staying completely organized. I could blog for weeks about his collection, but for now, I’ll just focus on a few random action figures.

Yes, in this edition of Five SPOOKY Action Figures, the toys actually don’t belong to me. These were all found on John’s shelves, and hastily photographed on the steps outside his house. I normally prefer to stick with what’s in my own collection, but these weirdos were cool enough to break that rule.

Papa Shango
World Wrestling Federation, 1992

WWE has unleashed dozens of Halloween-appropriate wrestlers, from giants who control fire to absolutely literal vampires. Still, few have been as on-the-nose as Papa Shango. WWE may have been a bit more diplomatic in their wording, but Papa Shango was a basically a cliched voodooist who defeated his opponents with BLACK MAGIC.

(Actually, he defeated his opponents with inverted shoulderbreakers, but let’s not get too technical.)

The tricks usually occurred during interview segments, and man, they were out there. Best among them was the time Papa Shango caused the Ultimate Warrior to throw up on everyone backstage. (Some wrestlers got a push by being scripted to win matches. Others got it by making their opponents vomit.)

The height of Papa Shango’s chicanery didn’t last long. He ultimately became “just another guy,” who rarely backed up his look with any B movie nonsense. Fortunately, he did stick around long enough to score a Hasbro action figure, with a weirdly irremovable top hat!

FYI: Charles Wright, who played Papa Shango, would eventually find much bigger success as “The Godfather” — wrestling’s most lovable pimp! Read More…