I admit that I’ve been slacking on the regular Dino Drac content lately. Would you believe that I’ve gotten really into playing horseshoes? I mean, I haven’t, but I feel like it’s an excuse you’d accept. Picture me out there, wiping dirt on my jeans after every bad toss. Isn’t all forgiven?

Here’s the latest edition of Five Retro TV Commercials, with ads rescued from thirty-year-old recordings of Mr. Belvedere.

Matchbox Parasites! (1985)

I was ecstatic to find this on one of my tapes, as I’ve been trying to work Matchbox’s Parasites onto Dino Drac since Day 1. Few remember this line and even fewer ever bring it up, and I’m here to tell you that that’s WRONG WRONG WRONG.

Parasites was a collection of hollowed-out Matchbox cars with ALIEN ROBOTS stuffed inside. The robot figures worked like collapsible luggage, starting as rectangular “bricks” that fit snugly inside each car. When you pulled ‘em out, they expanded into techno-monsters with stilt-like legs and terrible attitudes.

It was a neat concept made ten times better by the extraterrestrial theatrics. Parasites figures are pretty expensive nowadays, though you may occasionally be able to find ‘em cheap if you search eBay at just the right time. Good luck — they’re worth tracking down!

Aliens love Almond Joy! (1980s)

I’ve watched this commercial ten times, and while I won’t pretend that I don’t “get it,” I’m still amazed that SPACE ALIENS FROM VENUS was how they chose to illustrate the point.

The idea was that one’s inclination towards Almond Joy bars spoke well of them. In fact, it spoke so well that no actual words were necessary. Just hold up an Almond Joy, and everyone instinctively knew that you were the shit.

That’s how one astronaut got chosen as ambassador for a trip to Venus, and also how one blue-skinned Venusian was picked for a vacation to Earth. If you’re reading this and nothing makes sense, I assure you that I’m merely describing the commercial and adding virtually no color.

I guess this was a way to do the E.T./Reese’s Pieces thing, but for Almond Joy? I love how so much 1980s candy advertising hinged on the idea that we’d want certain candies more after watching space aliens eat them. Really, they weren’t wrong.

PS: I was way into Almond Joy bars as a kid, despite hating almonds and being ambivalent-at-best about coconut. Honestly, I just liked that shade of blue on the wrappers. Very Caribbean! Read More…

Guys, I’m nervous. For the first time since 1994, I’m going to WrestleMania. So many conflicting emotions! It’s sure to be a great show and there’s no way I wanna miss a potential Becky win on the grandest stage of ‘em all, but… 80000 people? In broad daylight?! Eeeek.

As has been tradition ever since we started The Purple Stuff Podcast, me and Jay from The Sexy Armpit are here with our annual wrestling-themed episode. Since nowhere near all of our listeners are wrestling fans, we’re trying something a little different, this time.

On this week’s episode, we’re naming ten wrestlers who dipped their feet into acting, whether in movies, TV shows or random Pizza Hut commercials. We’re covering everyone from Bane to Zeus to Captain Freedom!

Even if you’ve never watched wrestling, we think you’ll be able to grab onto this one.

Click here to listen to this week’s show!

Reminder: The Purple Stuff Podcast is also on Patreon, where you can trade a tip for access to exclusive monthly bonus shows. Thanks so much for all of the support over there!

So yeah, WrestleMania. I haven’t been too thrilled with the build, but I think they’ve set themselves up for a killer show. I’m mainly in it for Becky Lynch, who single-handedly turned me from a fair-weather fan back into a WATCH-EVERYTHING fan. There are no guarantees that she’s winning, but if she doesn’t, bet on me publicly sobbing somewhere in Jersey.

Other predictions for the main matches: Kofi’s taking Bryan’s belt because any other outcome would be totally insane. I actually think Brock will retain over Rollins, if only because they gotta manage the crowd’s energy level and I’m not sure if it can sustain three big title changes in one night. As for the rest of the show, that’s just gravy. Seventeen goddamned hours’ worth of gravy.

Anyway, we hope you enjoy this week’s podcast! We’re thrilled and humbled by the fact that some fans count our wrestling-themed eps as not-insignificant parts of their WrestleMania week festivities. If this is the first one you’re hearing from us, I’d also recommend last year’s show about WrestleMania moments, and the previous year’s episode about the best-ever WWE themes.

In keeping with my recent tradition of posting Funpack info way too late into the month, Dino Drac’s March Funpack is FINALLY here! If you want in, you only have a short time to order… and I think you’ll want to, because this one is loaded.

THREE DAYS ONLY! ACT FAST! U.S. ONLY!

You know the score. The Funpacks are available on a subscription basis, and for as long as you remain subscribed, you’ll keep getting new boxes of retro nonsense each and every month. It’s $25 per month, and that price includes shipping. (You can cancel at any time without penalty, too — so if you just wanna order this one and immediately cancel, that’s your call!)

The March 2019 Funpack is stuffed with more than a dozen items, covering all walks of pop culture. I seriously love this box. Scroll to the bottom for ordering info, or keep reading to learn about everything you’ll receive in this month’s pack! Read More…