The Mausoleum of Madness, Part II!
Welcome to Dinosaur Dracula’s MAUSOLEUM OF MADNESS, PART II! Every day through Halloween, check back for another vintage creepy collectible – everything from deep cut toys to ancient store displays to at least one totally insane costume. Probably ten cereal boxes, too.
I won’t be plugging this on social media much, so you’ll have to remember to visit on your own. Maybe stick an orange Post-It on the fridge. (Yes, it must be orange.)
PS, if you missed last year’s Mausoleum of Madness, it’s over here.
#43: PAAS Vampire Makeup Kit! (1984)
I might be the only person who cares about this, but that’s okay – I care enough about it for all of us.
As mentioned earlier in this feature, PAAS used to do almost as much for Halloween as they still do for Easter. While they focus on dyeing eggs during springtime, October was all about dyeing our faces.
This Vampire Makeup Kit was just one in a series of similar sets, each containing face paint and a couple of cheap accessories. Given that I was Dracula for Halloween in kindergarten – right around the time this kit was in stores – the nostalgia hits hard.
(What a time that was. Almost every boy in class was also Dracula, and at the big Halloween soiree with our parents present, we just stood in a circle chewing blood capsules and letting the stained saliva dribble out.)
My favorite part is the bonus bat – literally a piece of cardboard that you had to punch off the back of the box, and then just like… oddly hold? “Hi, I’m a vampire, I tote a lil’ bat around.” Incredible!
#42: Telco Pumpkin Ghost! (Late ‘80s)
Look, I was planning to give y’all a break from my Telco nonsense, but life intervened. Late last night, a trio of their Halloween Motionettes popped up on Facebook Marketplace, and the prices were absurd. Three different, boxed, for $50.
Now, the two you can’t see in that photo – the Witch and the Phantom of the Opera – had considerable wear and were missing accessories. But it didn’t matter, because all I was after was THAT PUMPKIN GUY. Twenty-four inches tall, animated, glowing, sexy, and pretty damn tough to find.
On eBay, you’d pay $150-$200 for that thing, easy. I know, because I already did that. Yeah, this was a duplicate of the one I already have, but if there was ever a Telco Motionette worth building an army with, it’s Nightgown Jack-O.
I was supposed to meet the seller at 11:30 this morning. Instead, I woke up to a somewhat panicked message, insisting that I get there earlier because other people were interested.
I can’t fault the seller for that one. He knew that I had a hike ahead of me, and the other buyers probably lived five minutes away. I told him I’d leave right away, and did – on little sleep, with no coffee, and while wearing a t-shirt covered in cat hair.
The drive took almost an hour, but I spent it blasting the Halloween Jukebox, and enjoying the 50-degree morning chill.
After I climbed the five steps leading to his door and forked over the cash, he asked if I needed help bringing them to the car. I assured him that I did not, stacked the three Motionette boxes length-wise, picked them up, turned around, and promptly tripped over a potted plant.
As I gathered the boxes, now scattered around his property like fallen leaves, I looked back to see the front door closing, with a specific velocity that clearly said, “I saw that, but I ain’t copping to seeing it.”
Honestly, though? Given the choice between him pretending not to notice, and me needing to actually discuss what had happened, I’m taking the former 10 times out of 10. So long forever, guy from Facebook Marketplace.
Anyway, I’m extremely happy with my purchase. To me, this specific Motionette – this insane pumpkin-headed choir singer who for some reason carries a plastic cat – screams “Halloween in the late ‘80s” in ways that few other things do. Read More…
1992 Broadcast of Texas Chainsaw Part 2!
The latest episode of The Purple Stuff Podcast is here, and baby, we’re takin’ ya to Texas. It’s an episode that felt right for the Halloween season, and I’m not just saying that because it references a Dunkin’ Donuts commercial where Fred the Baker played Dr. Frankenstein.
In October of 1992, a FOX affiliate out of Boston implausibly decided to run The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 – a grisly, unrated movie loaded with blood and mayhem – right there on broadcast television, in prime time. What chutzpah!!
Join me and Jay from Sludge Central for an hourlong examination of this ancient television event. We’ll tell you about the film (which we love), how this FOX affiliate handled airing such a gnarly movie, and we’ll even get into some of the commercials that played during the broadcast. (Including some that were Halloween-themed!)
If you’ve seen the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre but never the sequel, boy, it’s a WAY different movie. Loud and over-the-top as a rule. It must be seen to be believed, but playing this episode is the next best thing.
Click here to listen to this month’s show!
…which you can also find on Apple, Spotify, and wherever else you listen to podcasts.
As a reminder, The Purple Stuff Podcast is also on Patreon, where we drop an exclusive bonus show every month. When you join, you instantly gain access to our entire back catalog, which goes back years. There are over 80 exclusive episodes waiting for you over there!
Oh, and here’s a little video we put together showing the film’s awesomely ominous television intro, plus all of the commercials we discuss on the show.
Enjoy! The Purple Stuff Podcast isn’t done Halloweening, so when you’re through listening to this, it won’t be long before we’re attacking you with chainsaws again. Stay tuned, stay vigilant.
Dinosaur Dracula’s GLOOM BOX is here!
Got another surprise drop for you today! It’s Dinosaur Dracula’s GLOOM BOX, a package stuffed with creepy collectibles from the ‘80s and ‘90s that are sure to make your October feel more like October.
Dino Drac’s GLOOM BOX will run you $31 – one dollar for every day in October – and that INCLUDES SHIPPING to anywhere in the United States. (I can only ship to the U.S. – sorry!)
Included are five frightful items that nobody in their right mind would try to live without. Please note that the GLOOM BOX has nothing to do with my monthly Funpacks. This is a separate thing, and the October Funpack is coming later.
Supplies are limited! Zip to the bottom to order, or keep reading to learn more about what’s inside! Read More…
Dino Drac’s Sinister September Funpack is here!
Okay GHOULS, Dino Drac’s Sinister September Funpack is here, and it’s loaded with Halloween cheer. This is the second of three all-eerie Funpacks for 2025, filled with things no creature of the night should even try to live without.
If you’re a subscriber, your Funpack is already on the way. (They were shipped between Saturday and Tuesday.)
While subscriptions are currently closed, I have a few extras that I can offer on an individual basis. As always, the cost is $25, and that includes shipping to anywhere in the States. Zip to the bottom to see if there are any left, and sorry if there aren’t, because the September Funpacks always go quick!
And now, in the immortal words of that guy from UHF, let’s see what’s in the box! Read More…