Spooky Amusement Park Rides.

Tonight’s topic:

SPOOKY RIDES.

In the comments, talk about the scariest amusement park rides you’ve ever been on. (Or at least the ones that were meant to be scary.)

Longtime readers can probably guess my pick…

Castle Dracula, from Wildwood, New Jersey.

Wildwood hasn’t been the same since it burned. Everyone’s all “Ferris wheel Ferris wheel Ferris wheel,” but to me, Castle Dracula was the real heart of that boardwalk.

Even if a portion was merely cosmetic, this still appeared to be a literal castle-sized castle, its dark grey bricks interrupted only by a few windows that bathed in eerie red light.

Years before I’d even consider entering Castle Dracula, it tormented me from a central position on the boardwalk, perpetually blasting Toccata and Fugue in D minor from an unseen but apparently monster-sized stereo system.

There were two versions of the ride. More famous was Castle Dracula’s walkthrough, where groups of a dozen victims were led through a series of increasingly terrifying rooms — including one where the walls slowly caved in on you.

It was quite a show, but I much preferred Castle Dracula’s dungeon boat ride, which you can experience by watching that video. Though less of a production, it was so much spookier than the walkthrough. Hell, even without the animatronic ghosts, monsters and corpses, just riding on a tiny boat through what felt like half a mile’s worth of dark tunnels was scary enough on its own.

But man, with them? So much worse! Remember, this was the early ‘90s on a New Jersey boardwalk. Seedy wasn’t so much a side effect as a lifestyle. Crude and bloody, the moving statues depicted all forms of murder and torture, with very little deemed too tasteless to show.

It was awesome.

Course, the boat ride’s biggest scares came from its live actors, peppered throughout the dungeon. Even someone who’d been on the ride ten times never knew exactly when to expect a ghoul to jump out.

Trust me, when you made a bunch of dudes wear robes and paint in what was essentially a very large oven, they were definitely in the right mood to scream at people.

God, how I miss Castle Dracula.

To this day, whenever I’m trying to get into “Halloween mode” by allowing various spooky images to swirl around my brain in an unfiltered way, Castle Dracula remains prominent. I only ever saw the place during the summer, but it was October 31st personified.

In the comments, talk about YOUR favorite spooky rides!